Hi,

I'm going to be alone for new years.
I would like to be able to sleep through it.
Anyway, feel ok about it now. Focusing on doing things that look towards my future, but I was upset about it today.

I asked the Yi:
How can I override my self-pity?
31.4,5 > 15

I took this to mean seek positive influences and remember you're not the only one suffering. Have some humility, it could be worse, count your blessings. I do feel that now. Plus a lot of people hate new years, pressure to have fun and all, peer pressure, but I would like to be able to share it with someone, preferably my age. As it is, I will spend the majority of the evening, at home with my cat :/ Equally I know that if I hadn't chosen to come home, stayed in China or proceeded to teach somewhere else, or got a job somewhere, I may not have this issue at all. It just brought it home to me that I have built up hardly anything for myself during my life, because I've not succeeded with my peers..

31.4 > perhaps reflecting how I've tried too hard, or not hard enough, in the past to influence certain people? But I don't know why the yi gave me this answer. I was asking for help out of my stressed state of mind.

31.5> if we cannot be influenced ourselves, we cannot influence the outside world'

This line has always unnerved me.
Would really like to hear someone's take on it? What does it mean?
That if we cannot be ourselves, we cannot influence the outside world?
Was it expressing that my unconscious mind is upset, and I can't stop that? That it needs an airing? But the last line I just can't get my head around.
(I was looking for a way to think to slap me out of crying)

15> I understand this. Come back down to earth. Don't expect so much from life
Realise that far worse things happen at sea... as I said before.

Any thoughts?

Thanks :bows:

So what's wrong with being alone on New Year's? Why would you think that it is a bad thing to be alone on such a miserable night? You ought to evaluate that, not that you are alone.

Well, thanks for that
Not a fan either then?
I do feel a little embarrassed that I let it get me so upset today but there you go.. I've made it into a symbol of my social failures, forgetting my social successes.

pssshhh, what the hell
And actually 2010 was pretty good, so I can celebrate that, with my cat.

It's not like it's my first one either. Every year I sort of assume next year will be different... but there are various other factors involved.. not just me being a social reject...

Still need to toughen up to falling into sheep-like thought and dwelling on the past negatives masochistically

erm... have a good one

anyone have any takes on 31.5?

Hi Em! and happy new year despite all else

In my experience, 31:5 means stay true to exactly what your heart
is telling you, even if it's wrong, even if it leads nowhere. Basically
i've felt it mean: pay honour to your own heart - which is a very
important and empowering thing to do. Your feelings are precious,
even if others around are not. Nurture your heart! Nobody can tell
you what you 'should' feel - feeling is a thing which happens by
itself. Just honour it and accept it for what it is. On that note, you'
re totally justified to not feel happy to spend NYE by yourself (i don't
know anybody who would.......). And yet, i'm sure you know, it's not
the end of the world.

I think the overall answer is telling you that you don't have to spend
it alone. If you decide on who you want to spend it with, within
limits, then you can have a modest gain (15), ie ok not spend it
with mr Jack Sparrow himself (!! lol), but at least you'll be with
some people who are 'ok' in your book? Just a thought.

And my best wishes! have a fab new year.
xx

On 31.5:

Liu I-ming: "Sensing in the flesh of the back, there is no regret. At the border of yin above and yang below, controlling both, using them in a balanced way, the mind of Tao is always present, the human mentality does not arise; dealing with things as they are, all takes place without minding. This is likened to sensing in the flesh in the back.... What separates the mind of Tao from the human mind is but a hairsbreadth; sensing it in the back means it is near the heart (mind) but really not of the heart (mind).... No mind, no regret; integrated with celestial principle, one rests in the highest good without vacillation. This is sensitivity preserving the mind of Tao without the human mentality.

Chih-hsu Ou-i: "Sensing in the flesh of the back, the aim is concluded.... Here positive strength is balanced correctly and is in the body of joy. This is like the image of 'stopping in the back, not finding the body, walking in the garden, not seeing the person." This is full accord with the subtlety of being 'tranquil and imperturbable yet sensitive and effective." Therefore one has no faults to regret and carries good beginnings to a good end, realizing the ultimate...."

Huang: "Ending an involvement without regrets."

Wing: "Look within to determine the depth of your influence on external matters. People with a profound inner resolve can accomplish much. Those with shallow roots cannot exert significant external influence."

Wilhelm-Baynes:
"Nine in the fifth place means:
The influence shows itself in the back of the neck.
No remorse.

"The back of the neck is the most rigid part of the body. When the influence shows itself there, the will remains firm and the influence does not lead to confusion. hence remorse does not enter into consideration here. What takes place in the depths of one’s being, in the unconscious, can neither be called forth nor prevented by a conscious mind. it is true that if we cannot be influenced ourselves, we cannot influence the outside world.

A discussion from back in October: http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=11443

LiSe: "Influences which can be felt in the back or neck are the strongest ones and the most difficult to trace. They are intense and mysterious, they go back to primitive feelings of fear, agressivity, power, trust or mistrust. If that influence is positive or negative decides most of all how a relation will be.

Anthony: "In spite of the pressure of negative influences, our will to discipline our inferiors remains strong.
"Sometimes, however, our attention to being disciplined is so pre-occupying that we are not able to hear suggestions from the Sage. We ar too anxious to find the right answers; we try to figure things out rather than keeping empty, allowing the right things to come of themselves. We must not allow the fear of doing wrong to cause us to lose receptivity. In this case the 'back of the neck' means that we are reacting to events stiffly rather than receptively."

15: Humility. "Go forth constantly, conscientiously, despite mistakes.... When we learn to follow the true and good for no reason at all, we will have understood the true meaning of modesty" (Anthony).

diamanda said:

In my experience, 31:5 means stay true to exactly what your heart
is telling you, even if it's wrong, even if it leads nowhere. Basically
i've felt it mean: pay honour to your own heart - which is a very
important and empowering thing to do. Your feelings are precious,
even if others around are not. Nurture your heart! Nobody can tell
you what you 'should' feel - feeling is a thing which happens by
itself. Just honour it and accept it for what it is. On that note, you'
re totally justified to not feel happy to spend NYE by yourself (i don't
know anybody who would.......). And yet, i'm sure you know, it's not
the end of the world.

Click to expand...

Hi diamanda!

Nice to hear from you Thanks for your interpretation. I asked the q when I was upset but angry at myself for crying and staying in the headspace. Part of me knew, or felt, that a simple change in attitude could take me out of it in a split second, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to, prefered wallowing and making a show. But then I suppose they say tears are healing - release toxins and hormones. Came across this great aticle: http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1825 Worth a read!


...


I wanted the yi to give me something to think about to stop me crying! I suppose at the time, it didn't feel capable. Instead I guess it said it's ok to cry. But try and bring yourself back into balance (hex 15: reduce what is in excess, increase what isn't (or something along those lines)). When I received hex 31 I was a little put out, because it is a positive hex in my book, so I felt it couldn't at all be reflecting how I was feeling, which I thought the yi generally did... But I guess it was saying my upset is caused by an influence, and sometimes you can't help but be influenced...

Jack Sparrow? Give me Sweeney Todd any day we'll get revenge haha!
Well, I have been invited to go with my mum whose spending it with some friends but I am pretty sure that would make me feel worse, though if I was more mature I guess it wouldn't, but I'd rather stay at home. They're nice people and I'm sure it would be kind of fun but I don't know them that well, they're my mum's friends and they'd probably take pity on me a bit. However, it's only a night after all, meaningless again this year though I will utilise it! Luckily, got the upset out the way yesterday, so today I am over it. And with the house to myself I can do some writing etc, watch a film... Probably not TV shows of people out celebrating

Ah well. Happy new year to you!!

xx:bows:

elias said:

On 31.5:

Liu I-ming: ...the human mentality does not arise; dealing with things as they are, all takes place without minding. This is likened to sensing in the flesh in the back.... What separates the mind of Tao from the human mind is but a hairsbreadth; sensing it in the back means it is near the heart (mind) but really not of the heart (mind).... No mind...

Chih-hsu Ou-i:... 'stopping in the back, not finding the body, walking in the garden, not seeing the person." This is full accord with the subtlety of being 'tranquil and imperturbable yet sensitive and effective."...

Anthony: "In spite of the pressure of negative influences, our will to discipline our inferiors remains strong..We must not allow the fear of doing wrong to cause us to lose receptivity. In this case the 'back of the neck' means that we are reacting to events stiffly rather than receptively."

15: Humility. "Go forth constantly, conscientiously, despite mistakes.... When we learn to follow the true and good for no reason at all, we will have understood the true meaning of modesty" (Anthony).

Click to expand...

Thanks for the research elias! I suppose with hex 15, it's about choosing to accept negative feelings, not expecing too much, realising why I'm where I am and to be strong and keeping on working regardless...

I read the linked thread and thought this by Trojan was relevant:


I suppose hold your head stiff in my context would be about keeping out bad thoughts? Or trying to? Choose what influences you? I suppose that kind of contradicts previous thought that it's about feeling what you feel. In this light, it's kind of like 'chin up'?

Not sure I'm quite clear on it, especially as my question was not related to a person or persons.


Hmm...so this is about letting tao into an overwrought mind? Or choosing to 'speak' to the tao rather than your mind?

Reacting stiffly here I suppose is about my concentration on the negative rather than the taoist neutral stance to things?

Hmmm.. still a little unclear. Happy new year to you!

:bows:

31.4 can indicate confusing other people through being changeable, not knowing your own mind. I would say it generally indicates people will follow quite happily if they knew where you were going ! Theres a great antidote to self pity since it may even be a practical message. Perhaps some of your friends don't know what you want or think you want to be left alone or have just got wrong end of stick somewhere.

I'm afraid 31.5 is somewhat a mystery to me...but i feel it can refer to ones hidden will and ones hidden attractions that are unshakeable but perhaps beneath the surface so even you yourself aren't aware of them. Perhaps you aren't prepared to 'play the game' as you referred to in another thread because you have another more profound agenda....perhaps a part of you wants to stay home tonight.

Hmm now if you stay home because you want to stay home then theres no room for self pity is there because you chose it. You haven't failed you succeeded in getting to do what you wanted to do....except you won't admit to yourself what you wanted to do because you don't approve of yourself and make yourself jump through hoops to prove you have 'success with peers'

15 as relating makes me wonder though if there is some practicality you have overlooked ? I'd say 31.4 surely means other people don't have a clue what you want here and if they knew they'd happily invite you somewhere etc etc or fall in with your plans. Don't expect others to be mind readers

As for me I have some kind of flu/chest infection so my bed looks to be an absolutely delightful place to spend new years eve

trojan said:

As for me I have some kind of flu/chest infection so my bed looks to be an absolutely delightful place to spend new years eve

Click to expand...

Sorry about the flu. More fluids may help as the song says:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

(Composed by a frugal Scotsman. No thought of buying a round!)

31.4 (in Wilhelm) suggests telepathic communication rather than physical presence:

Nine in the fourth place means:
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Remorse disappears.
If a man is agitated in mind,
And his thoughts go hither and thither,
Only those friends
On whom he fixes his conscious thoughts
Will follow.

So my thoughts will be with you all.

Have I been misled by TV? I thought Brits instinctually and without invitation congregated in their local pubs during times of celebration.

Not sure I'm quite clear on it, especially as my question was not related to a person or persons.

What separates the mind of Tao from the human mind is but a hairsbreadth; sensing it in the back means it is near the heart (mind) but really not of the heart (mind).... No mind...

Hmm...so this is about letting tao into an overwrought mind? Or choosing to 'speak' to the tao rather than your mind?

Reacting stiffly here I suppose is about my concentration on the negative rather than the taoist neutral stance to things?

Click to expand...

31.5 doesn't seem to have a settled meaning, as indicated by the range of responses. The overall sense is of a positive trend to a situation.

For me, this line's been about being too involved with self, too concerned with appearances and acting correctly, false buddhas/false consciousness, altogether trying too hard rather than letting things flow... Situation improves once you stop looking at it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMIcZtPyADk
(ignore the cheesy graphics -- the lyrics are below)

pocossin said:

Sorry about the flu. More fluids may help as the song says:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

(Composed by a frugal Scotsman. No thought of buying a round!)

31.4 (in Wilhelm) suggests telepathic communication rather than physical presence:

Nine in the fourth place means:
Perseverance brings good fortune.
Remorse disappears.
If a man is agitated in mind,
And his thoughts go hither and thither,
Only those friends
On whom he fixes his conscious thoughts
Will follow.

So my thoughts will be with you all.

Have I been misled by TV? I thought Brits instinctually and without invitation congregated in their local pubs during times of celebration.

Click to expand...

LOL well it did occur to me to say to Em just go where the noise is, get drunk and start talking to whoevers about and voila, you have a party....but figured that could make her feel even more sad. People still stick to their own groups.

Happy new year Tom and Em ! I'll send you some good thought vibes at midnight but I don't want you to catch anything

trojan said:

31.4 can indicate confusing other people through being changeable, not knowing your own mind.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your thoughts. That could be partly true. I'm one of those impossible people - have always wanted to be part of a group, but when I've been in one, I've felt uncomfortable. Have never been able to attain the fun and closeness like those around me and thus have been pushed out. I think the root of it is an inferiority complex, coupled with being vulnerable to the group mentality turning on me, being overly concerned about being liked, trying too hard, all that stuff... So looking back I can see how I've become isolated, but it really hurts. By dint of trying to make friends I've made enemies - pretty lame way to make enemies! Well maybe that's too strong a word but that's how it feels. Locked out anyway. However I know I just need to get out there. I also feel that I know myself a lot better now. I think it also comes down to that, not knowing who I was, always wanting to be different etc... growing pains I guess. Once I get out there again, it won't matter so much.

Thanks for your help and hope your flu is better now!
I've been epically sneezing myself, a lot of people have had flu this end!

:bows:

Thanks for the link elias.
Soothed my soul.

The more we give, the more we love, the more we grow.
The spirit of imagination can lead us through the dark;
The more we see, the more we try, the more we show.
The evidence of our confusion, life has left its mark;
The more we fear, the more we lie, the more we hide.
As we walk into tomorrow
...
It's time to reach the goals we've set for ourselves;
The more we fear, the more we lie, the more we hide.
All we need is just to believe in ourselves;
We face the truth, we see it clear, with no disguise.
Cast away our doubt and sorrow
(Turning away from the past we know)
...
LET GO

Thank you :bows:

You're welcome, Em! And happy new year.

Same unpleasant lingering cold-flu symptoms here :-(
We can all unite in our sneezitude.