Hello everyone!

I hope all is well and everyone is enjoying the new year!

I am here seeking your help in understanding of my reading.

Long story short in my quest to find out why I'm not getting pregnant I ended up doing ultrasound of thyroid gland and cane to find out I have two large and two smaller nodules on it.
Whether they are benign or malignant is still to learn. But while I'm waiting for blood work results I'm going crazy.
How to tell my husband and my parents about it? After I'm done with treatment of this problem when and if I can have a healthy baby? Where to do treatments - in my home country or the states where I don't have insurance?
So I asked IChing "please give me guidance on how to deal with this?"
And received 45. 2.4.6>59

I need to mass with people aka doctors, maybe even friends and family to deal with this. So looks like I should tell my husband and my parents?
Lines 4 and 6 are confusing. What does it mean if "you are lucky you are in not blame" (line 4). What if I'm not lucky? How do I become lucky? What is the outcome if I'm not lucky?
Line 6 - lamenting and wipping, but no blame. How does this line give guidance in terms of how to deal with the problem.

If you could help me understand I would appreciate it.

I wanted to ask more questions.
Ar the nodules malignant? Will they damage my fertility? Will these news strain my relationship with my husband? How do I work if I'm sick? Etc etc etc. I'm thinking the worst and the craziest. Please help!

Love,
Vikk

Hello Vikk,

first, I'd like to try and calm you down somewhat - I have had cysts in my tyroid as well, and they can be treated either with medication (to make up for the nonfunctional tyroid gland) or they can be removed by surgery. I had this surgery many years ago and it was not a big deal - one week in the hospital and several weeks of bad voice. This is a standard procedure that hospitals have been doing for a long time and are pretty good at. When the tyroid gland needs to be removed (as was in my case) you'll have to take tyroxin hormone for the rest of your life, but again this is not a big deal. Also, I have never heard that this impacts your fertility in any way.
As for the country of treatment, I do not know about other countries than my own, but I would go for a country where you have health insurance, since it may turn out to be a life-long medication (in case of tyroid gland removal). But you really should consult with a health-care professional about that!

It seems to me that a big part of your worry is to tell your husband and your parents - why is that? Are you afraid of worrying them? Or is it more in connection with your wish to have children? Again, I do not think that tyroxine-substituion will impact your ability to get pregnant.
I wish you all the best and hope for positive results from the the doctor!

maui

Hi Maui,

Thank you for the reply!

The don't want to say anything to my parents is not to worry them sick. They are both not in the best of health so adding g an additional stress to their lives will be just very unfair of me.

My husband... he wants the baby so much. Sometimes I think even more then me. We have been trying for a while and started to get worried. Now this problem is postponing having a baby for an indefinite time. I would hate to break his heart. I feel so guilty of not being able to give us a child. I feel it is a Gods way of punishing us for terminating the pregnancy at the early stage of our relationship.

Line 6 really scares me. It says that I will have a difficulty of being heard.
I would appreciate your input.

Hi Maui,

Thank you for the reply!

The don't want to say anything to my parents is not to worry them sick. They are both not in the best of health so adding g an additional stress to their lives will be just very unfair of me.

My husband... he wants the baby so much. Sometimes I think even more then me. We have been trying for a while and started to get worried. Now this problem is postponing having a baby for an indefinite time. I would hate to break his heart. I feel so guilty of not being able to give us a child. I feel it is a Gods way of punishing us for terminating the pregnancy at the early stage of our relationship.

Line 6 really scares me. It says that I will have a difficulty of being heard.
I would appreciate your input.

Hi vikk,

Maui gave some great advice and first-hand experience tips, and I believe that your reading confirms that it won't be anything too bad in the end.

please give me guidance on how to deal with this?
45.2.4.6 > 59

Being invited and meeting someone probably refers to the doctor appointment (45.2). Then the very lucky omen of 45.4, and no blame/mistake, i.e. there's nothing majorly wrong with you, and I think your doctor is very good at his/her job. However right now you're in a 45.6 situation: you fear the worse, you feel extremely sad. You don't want to break your parents' or your husband's hearts, you're scared that your life might be in danger etc. Right now maybe you don't fully know yet the good luck of 45.4, since you don't have the results yet.

Resulting hexagram 59 is what makes me optimistic: this whole situation, as described by the lines of 45, will dissolve.

Ultrasounds are not super reliable. A few years ago such a scan gave me an extreme scare, and upon further tests it proved to be a totally benign cyst which dissolved by itself, so I wonder if 59 also means that your cyst (if that's what it is) also dissolves with medication, as maui mentioned.

I so hope I'm right on this one, you have my best wishes for good luck!

HI Vikk,

take heart! It seems that you are very upset about this, but you may misrepresent the situation for yourself.
I agree with Diamanda's reading that the reading of line 6 is likely a temporary hitch. Wilhelm says
"It may happen that an individual would like to ally himself with another, but
his good intentions are misunderstood. Then he becomes sad and laments.
But this is the right course. For it may cause the other person to come to his
senses, so that the alliance that has been sought and so painfully missed is
after all achieved."

So this seems to me that you are currently at war with yourself - berating yourself for not getting pregnant, for having made mistakes in the past, disappointing your family etc. While it may be difficult to do, you should make peace with yourself - after it is not your fault, you have been trying everything you can to get pregnant (line 2 says "It furthers one to bring even a small offering.
"). You do what you can, the rest is out of your hands. Try and calm down, and treat yourself well. Hex 59 is like Diamanda says a good indication for the situation eventually resolving itself.

best wishes

maui

I think your reading says
45.2 Be cheerful and positive when you go get checked out for why it's taking time to get pregnant.
45.4 The time is auspicious - good fortune is on your side. Don't blame yourself.
45.6 It's ok to express the blues - and what inspires you and your heart wants too.

Line 2 and the relating hex 56 refer to offerings. You asked for guidance.
Maybe offer your "song" to your husband and something to Heaven asking for help with pregnancy.

- LL

Just a quick note to say when I get 45.6 I feel relieved. It indicates a breakthrough and empathetic understanding during a crisis. It says that you're hurting (which you are), but if you cry out, others will hear you and help resolve the problem. You asked the oracle for guidance, and mentioned fear of telling your parents and husband about what's going on. In my opinion there isn't a clearer line in the book than this one that would indicate it's beneficial to tell them. This is a strong urging towards that.

As the others mentioned, lines 2 and 4 are clearly auspicious, 4 in particular. Line 2 implies to me a minor medical procedure might fix this problem.

You also write: "I feel so guilty of not being able to give us a child. I feel it is a Gods way of punishing us for terminating the pregnancy at the early stage of our relationship." How very painful. Is it any consolation that when you asked the oracle for guidance, the reading indicated absolutely no punishment? No mention of past misdeeds, no mention of guilt or punishment. I don't think you deserve any of that and I don't think God is punishing you for not having carried through a pregnancy earlier. Line 4 even says, "No blame"! This reading really has it all, if you are able to settle down and quietly look at it without projecting anxiety onto it. (Side note: Millions and millions of women have had abortions, and millions of them have gone on to have children later—if there is in fact a punishing God, he doesn't seem to enact his measures through later difficulties conceiving. There's something else going on.)

I still think 45.6 is telling you it's ok to tell your parents and husband (it will make you feel better, and it might even lead to a solution), but it could also be suggesting you seek a counselor to discuss these things with, especially your guilt; that might also help reduce the pain and agony.

Best of luck!

One more thing, line 2 makes me think you should be meditating and praying daily. If you follow any kind of organized religion and can make offerings (candles at a church, temple, anything), now's the time to calmly meditate and do so.

Also personally if I got this line in your situation, I would assume the time is not right for some reason--perhaps a soul is waiting to join your family but there are delays for some reason, the time is not quite now for the one who will be joining you--but as long as you keep actively trying and being open and ready, it will happen. One line from Wilhelm's commentary for this line has rung true for me in the past: "There are secret forces at work, leading together those who belong together. We must yield to this attraction; then we make no mistakes." Wing states it similarly: "You may feel mysteriously drawn to certain people or endeavors, although this may not be what you had planned for yourself. Give in to this impulse. Larger and invisible forces are at work here, and good fortune will come by submitting to them."