I am pregnant and due in July. The father is my long term ex-boyfriend who broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant. We have spoken maybe twice since the break up through text/email. He accuses me of getting pregnant on purpose, which is completely ludicrous on several accounts. I am 41 (as is he), I'm trying to finish grad school, I found out I was pregnant a week before I was to have a tubal litigation, our relationship was really in the toilet at this point and I was absolutely ready to be done with him anyway, so I certainly didn't try to salvage the relationship with a child. He doesn't have any money, in fact he owes me thousands, so there is really nothing to gain by having a baby with this man-child. I could not, however, have an abortion. I did not consult him on the matter, I simply told him that I was not going to have one. Not that I have anything against them, I just chose not to. I am financially and mentally stable enough to support this child and my daughter, so it really doesn't matter what he wanted anyway.

It was hard in the beginning to come to terms with the fact that we are absolutely completely over, as I can never, ever be with him again after this. I am at the end of my sorrow, because I have slowly but surely analyzed the things that have really cut deep and dealt with them. Yi has helped me a lot with this. So have friends and family, of course, and I appreciate their efforts and listening to help me process all of this.

During one of the aforementioned conversations, he repeatedly told me he hated me. He never really made it clear if he hated me because I supposedly got pregnant on purpose or I didn't have an abortion. He just kept saying that I lied and manipulated him and that he hates me and day by day his hate for me grows. This is one of the things that I keep getting hung up on. It seems so simple but I just can't understand. So my query was, "Help me understand why he said that he hated me," and the answer was 9.5>26. I can't understand this answer at all. I was going to contemplate this for the day, but I wanted to throw this out there to see if anyone had any insights in the interim. Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

This man is entirely adolescent.

'I want the sex, but not the responsibility, and I will get angry when you try to make me responsible for something that I did.'

Money spent on a child is money you cannot spend on him.

9: Raising small beasts (baby?)
line 5: Enrichment is by way of one’s neighbors. (he is enriched by you)

The fan yao is interesting: the gelded boar. Maybe he thinks a baby will mess up his sex life. I'm going with my first thought, entirely adolescent.

Help me understand why he said that he hated me, 9.5 > 26

I pretty much agree with Moss Elk. Because he's after your money (9.5).

And my own thoughts of how him "hating you" leads to him getting your money:
he is making blatantly fake mind-f***ing statements like "I hate you", so as to blur your logic, hurt you, and thus keep you under his thumb. It seems that so far he is succeeding - please don't let him. He sounds like a dangerously poisonous man, please keep him away from your child.

9.5 talks about advancing with support from others. Your ex has no support to give so perhaps he is trying to avoid facing the reality that he is unnecessary and expendable. Perhaps your ex is trying to convince you - actually it sounds like he's trying to put a curse on you - that your life will be the pits without him - even though we all know nobody is going to miss him for a minute.
I got this line years ago when I asked a similar question about a friend who stopped speaking to me when I told her I was not going to sign up to join her Amway group. I still remember how her eyes glowed fire and the sarcasm when she spat, "Too bad for you!" Obviously she couldn't handle the fact that I didn't need her.
If you find yourself obsessing about this you might get value from the bach flower essence White Chestnut - it's a homeopathic remedy for clearing the trash out of your head.
Congratulations on the baby!

It sounds like you’re approaching a new time and warmer beginnings. There may be some problems and conflicts yet you’re determined to overcome this darkness by endorsing and concentrating on the light that’s growing inside of you.

9.5 why he hates you? Jealousy, lost, anger, selfishness, loser, manipulative, coward, passion feeder, child.

It sounds like he’s jealous of your baby since the baby will take away and squash his placement in your heart. He’s irresponsible and trying to cry, threaten and complain his way out of responsibilities instead of manning-up to it. This is your opportunity to see the real him and let go of something that will only destroy your sanity in the long run. He hates himself hence he hates you because he has no ability to love you or the child.

Congratulations on the baby and congratulations on letting go of this toxic man.





If you harness the good feelings at your fingertips, then you will find the source of the positive powers swelling inside you. You must be trustworthy and loyal to move the hearts around you, and you are just the person to do it, right now.

Further thoughts...
It occurs to me that as 9.5 is such a positive line describing a person going forward alone but with support from the group with really no reference to anyone else, that I wonder if this is the I Ching saying to you, "Don't worry about what or why the ex may or may not be feeling - just know that while it may seem a bit scary to be on your own you've got lots of support all around."

Thank you, everyone, so much for your input. I agree that he is definitely childish and ridiculous.

I don't think he necessarily wants my money, as I never spent any on him directly. I do, however, make more money than him and I get the idea that he is the kind of man that this is a problem for. He may also be concerned about child support. He has other debts that will eventually catch up to him as well (he owes the IRS for example).

I appreciate the Bach flower remedy recommendation, Rosada. Those are wonderful and we have a natural store that carries them. I plan on getting some as soon as I can.

I do have a great deal of support. I have been blessed with many good friends who together create a wonderful village for me, so maybe you are onto something, Rosada.

Chaptershare, I do feel he holds those attributes towards me, as even when we were together and things were good he displayed jealously and other unattractive traits. He is quite paranoid and may possibly have an undiagnosed personality disorder. I could tell stories for days, but the bottom line is that he is as you said, toxic, and will only do my sanity in.

I have sometimes felt that 9 represented a child, so after some thought I felt that perhaps the reason he told me he hates me is because of the child (because I decided to have him), and because I am rich in my neighbors and he is jealous of it. He has made comments to this effect on more than one occasion.

Thanks again for everyone's input.

Keep us updated on your pregnancy. It’s his loss and perhaps one day he will grow up and want to be a part of this beautiful creation but at that time it may be a little too late.