"What are our chances of having a lifelong relationship with one another?" and Yi's a

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

"What are our chances of having a lifelong relationship with one another?" and Yi's a

I liked this question and the answer.

Hexagram 22 Beauty to Hexagram 27 Nourishing

Hilary translation for Line 3:

Line 3
'Beautiful, as if dipped in water.
Ever-flowing constancy, good fortune.'

To me it sounds like a positive, if constant effort was put into the relationship to keep it going on, and to make it special.

SeeBeauty · Feb 16, 2019

22 can often refer to relationships in a more superficial regard... the "honeymoon phase", or infatuation.
I would imagine that your relationship is currently in a good place, and I don't see any reason to say that there is any indication that that will change. However, "love" in its earliest form, though incredible/amazing/blissful is not the same as truly fulfilling and enduring intimacy/partnership. There is a suggestion (perhaps almost a gentle warning) to not lose yourself in the overwhelm of adoration; to maintain composure and 'inner truth' in order to see the situation for what it really is and to let things develop naturally over time...

*please note: Although I have studied the Ching for almost 20 years, I am new to interpreting for others and this is my first ever 'online clarity' reply to a post, so take it as you wish!

SeeBeauty · Feb 16, 2019

22 can often refer to relationships in a more superficial regard... the "honeymoon phase", or infatuation.
I would imagine that your relationship is currently in a good place, and I don't see any reason to say that there is any indication that that will change. However, "love" in its earliest form, though incredible/amazing/blissful is not the same as truly fulfilling and enduring intimacy/partnership. There is a suggestion (perhaps almost a gentle warning) to not lose yourself in the overwhelm of adoration; to maintain composure and 'inner truth' in order to see the situation for what it really is and to let things develop naturally over time...

*please note: Although I have studied the Ching for almost 20 years, I am new to interpreting for others and this is my first ever 'online clarity' reply to a post, so take it as you wish!

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

Thank you SeeBeauty.

Coming up to a year on this particular 'relationship' - I use that term loosely because we're intimate friends...and I see him as the type of person I would want to keep in my life as a long term friend.

We are in a good place at the moment, as there hasn't been any trouble between the two of us before...but individually we have seperate challenges that we face with our own closer friends or family I guess.

I've never been in a serious, committed or romantic relationship before (this isn't one either) ...but I have good relationships with my friends and family.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

Welcome to online clarity

I received hexagram 61.1.3.4 to 44 for another casting about the status of this relationship.

Inner Truth to Coupling. I have felt that many others don't see a lot of positives in Hex 44, but it resonates with me and I don't mind it.

I'm a work in progress and there are reasons for why I am the way I am and for why I relate to others the way I do.

moss elk · Feb 16, 2019

Hi,

For the first question you got an answer that mentions only a very attractive appearance. (Does he wear hair oil and lip balm? Is he very handsome? well dressed? lots of tattoos? Are you gaga over his looks?) A reading like this can be a glass of cold water in one's face.

For the second question, line 1 is cautionary (don't presume there is something here) and line 4 mentions someone leaving the team.

With the 61 and 44:
Inner Truth ~ Coming to Meet
While you may be sharing some Inner Truth/Intimacy, the nature of it is 44,
temporary, not sustainable. Enjoy it for what it is, but with these readings, I would not get hopes up too high about it.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

Hi Moss Elk,

He's bald and I haven't noticed any lip balm lol, but I do find him to be very handsome, attracted to him physically and intellectually as well.

I dabble in tarot/astrology and what I read there aligns with these answers from Yi and some of your interpretation as well.

From an astrological chart perspective it appears that we are both similar - emotionally detached with 'lovers' but heart bonded to family and friends.

When I received 61.1.3.4, I felt the lines mirrored my own inner thoughts of what I've been thinking about and what I've been doing over the past year - relying on myself, not him or anyone else to be whole...but he has been kind to me and supported me in his own way.

I love who I am and I have a lot of future goals that don't directly include or involve him, but I still see him as part of my life. It's hard to imagine him not being physically around at all unless one of us leaves the Earth plane.

marybluesky · Feb 16, 2019

Hello!

What are our chances of having a lifelong relationship with one another? 22.3 >27
A relationship firstly based on physical Beauty (22) provides Nourishment (27).
22.3: " Graceful and moist. Constant perseverance brings good fortune." This line clearly indicates good fortune if you keep on your course; so I see the chance to form a long-term, fulfilling relationship, whether it conforms to social conventions or not.

The status of this relationship: 61.1.3.4 to 44
Inner Truth (61) & an Intense Sexual (44) need to be with one another.
61.1: " Being devoted to a single cause is auspicious. Vacillation would lead to uneasiness." You have better not to expect much from this relationship at this moment. Enjoy what you have.
61.3: "One meets a person. Suddenly he beats a drum, and suddenly he stops; then he weeps, then he sings. " Being wish-washy. It can be you, your partner or both.
61.4: " The moon approaches fullness. The pair of horses is gone. No fault." After a period of time one of you leaves. No problem.
Sounds like you can rejoin each-other later, given the relating hexagram (44- coming to meet, which refers mainly to sexual encounters) and your first cast.

Good luck!

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

Hi Mary,

Thank you as always... the more I ask, the more I get same or similar answers. There is a theme. We are come and go friends and lovers, which suits me at this point in time... the part when Yi mentions the that the moon reaches fullness and the horses are gone - for me signifies separation by physical death someday...that might not be what it means to others but to me that's what came to mind when I read that just now. Doesn't help that I'm listening to Fix You by Coldplay lol.

moss elk · Feb 16, 2019

Hi Marybluesky,

It's a mistake to take the 'good fortune' here out of the context of 22.
(Or to do it with any hexagram.)
22 has nothing to to with relationships at all.
Nor does it have to do with Beauty.
It is about Beautifying and seeing false appearances, think of lipstick.
That is why there is a caution in the judgement:
The jun zi...does not presume to execute justice (because he is seeing appearances and not the true substance)

Hi Meltingpot,
Dead horses don't break away,
Living horses break away.
(It really refers to a specific thing.)
And they break away here for higher purpose, or a better life.

Oh, and about your bald lover, does he shave it and oil it?
(I shave my head and don't oil it after)

Best of luck,
m.e.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 16, 2019

Hi again M.E,

Perhaps the beautifying and seeing false ppearances relate more to me than him..I conceal what I perceive to be flaws with make up and the like and am not sure if I have shown him any substance to me, so thank you for making me think about that a little more.

I think he may oil his head, but I'm not that observant and I don't touch it ...soooooo lol.

I'm also on a journey to become more physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy this year which may mean a long period of time without him.

This is not just a new years resolution, I've put other things on hold to make time for this plan of action to get me where I need to be for the greater good, not just for myself but close loved ones.

I asked a follow up: is it in my best interest to stop investing time and energy into this particular relationship... the answer was Great Possession 14.3.6 > 54 Marrying Maiden.

Which sounds like I've put myself in a subordinate position in this relationship (54) but I am better than this and have more to offer to a higher purpose (14.3) and that (14.6) I will receive blessings and protection from a higher place if I correct my course by ceasing to follow the path with this man.

After this latest response, I just have to say how great a challenge this would be for me to do if that is what Yi is saying...

M.P

MeltingPot247 · Feb 25, 2019

As an update...I spent time with him over the weekend and felt closer than ever...relaxed, comfortable, calm - like being at a retreat. I did not want to leave but duty called. I'm going to try rest apart from him - as I have some personal goals and transforming to do &#55358;&#56792;*

diamanda · Feb 25, 2019

is it in my best interest to stop investing time and energy into this particular relationship
14.3.6 > 54
You are idolising him and this results in you being in a subordinate position. 54 also shows that you're not the only one in his life.

As about wanting to go 'lifelong' with him - people do 'lifelong' only with proper official partners. I've never seen a friends-with-benefits situation become lifelong. Also, I've never seen a friends-with-benefits situation turn into a proper couple. If you would like to find a proper official longterm partner, I would suggest that you state this right from the start. If it goes down the friends-with-benefits route, it can't go any other way, and it can't go very far.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 25, 2019

Thank you Diamanda for your message/input.

In a way I have idolized him in the past, and believe he has that sort of charm and appeal to many. I also believe he deserves my respect because of how he treats me when "we are together". He was upfront from the start about the type of man he is (polyamorous) - and I'm not sure if you read my first few posts on this thread or others but I've never had a 'romantic intimate' relationship in my life, nor have I pursued one because of my other commitments and personal beliefs.

I'm very open, non possessive and free spirited when it comes to being with or interacting with other people and I expect the same back from the people I choose to spend time with, towards me - Most people in my life are family members or friends, I keep a small circle. This man I speak of, is the first longish term lover I've ever had (I'm still kind of young).

I only asked these questions because I wondered how things were going between us as I'm aware of some behind the scenes issues he has with former lovers, work, family etc as well. I've said it before, but I'll say it again - when I say lifelong I don't necessarily mean in a one on one 'romantic' relationship ...many people here in these forums have said it - there are other types of relationships that yi alludes to which are more significant than romantic ones... for me that would include real friendships with lovers, where there is no need for complete attachment.

We all come into this world in our own body, and die in our own body. Why I say this is because, many people die single, unmarried but they loved many people in different ways, meeting people at different times saying goodbye to some earlier on in their life, meeting others later but knowing them to the end of their time whether as family, friends or former lovers...

Anyway, Yi and Tarot have advised me to take a break from him, rest, focus on myself and other goals until such a time as he reaches out again...which I hope he will continue to do, because he has constantly done so since we first met and vice versa.

Love and light.

diamanda · Feb 25, 2019

I've never had a 'romantic intimate' relationship in my life, nor have I pursued one because of my other commitments and personal beliefs.
I'm very open, non possessive and free spirited when it comes to being with or interacting with other people and I expect the same back

MP, it would be great if indeed you feel fine and the situation is how you want it to be. But it actually looks like you are agonising over this guy for many months now.

Yes I've read many of your posts. I remember your post asking about if you'll ever marry and settle down, and how you'd like to first get to know someone slowly before you fully commit (which is a great idea).

Please note that when a guy announces to you that he's polyamorous it simply means that he sleeps around. A lot of men (if not all - guys on the forum: any input here?) are polyamorous, meaning they'd like to hump here and there, however this is destructive to the females and children, hence it's frowned upon, hence most decent men keep it zipped up for the overall good. Or if they stray, they don't rub it on the face of their partner, and don't expect the partner to be 'modern' (I've heard this BS excuse being told by guys to friends of mine, "I'm polyamorous, why can't you be more open-minded").

To sum up, I would like you (and everyone else in the world) to be happy. It doesn't sound like you're happy, but if you say you are, then all is fine.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 25, 2019

Thank you Diamanda.

Yep, I wrote a post a while back about marriage and settling down as that is what most women/girls are taught to want from a very young age - and I wondered if I really wanted that deep down after all...but I witnessed a very bad marriage growing up, so it's a constant yes and no battle for me I guess - I'm a bit bipolar when it comes to wanting to stay free and single, or wondering if I could commit to one man, if I found one that I liked enough and vice versa.

Although months ago, I may have wrote about getting to know someone slowly before I fully commit - I feel like that's what I've been doing in this situation (getting to know him slowly, and not having an issue about sleeping with him while doing so)

In my culture, before western colonization- polyamorous type relationships were the norm. One chief, many wives...because the chief would usually be the strongest, handsomest etc and provide the best offspring, opportunities for the woman or what have you - he and I are from the same culture...nowadays in our society we have all different kinds of men and women having unhealthy relationships (married/committed or not) with one another and then procreating.

He hasn't hurt me and I haven't hurt him since knowing each other, which I think is a good thing, and why I am happy with what we've had so far.

What you call agonizing... I call reflecting, pondering and it must be obvious to all here that I care about this man, otherwise I wouldn't ask some of the questions that I have.

But I have loved other men (in a non romantic way) that have moved on or 'passed away' before - that's why I know I will be fine in the long run. However, because I have lost one particular close male friend to death in the past (2013) that is why I cared so much about being lifelong friends with this man that I really like and get along with...

Good night x

moss elk · Feb 25, 2019

diamanda said:
A lot of men (if not all - guys on the forum: any input here?) are polyamorous, meaning they'd like to hump here and there,

Yeah so,
I didn't expect to write so much, but here it is.

consider that
1-women are beautiful and sexy.
(so beautiful that we nearly faint just looking at your angel faces.)
(and so sexy that we nearly faint from cerebral blood loss when looking elsewhere.)
Then consider
2- that males hump:
Pillows, sheep. other males, cantelopes, their own hands, anything that is nearby really.
3-that expression: Some women will fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship, and some men will fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
So, males are very randy.
Key words you said: like to
Yes. males like to have sex. Often-ish? yes, please.

Developed or Mature men realize that women have a heart and a mind along with a body (as well as the potential for revenge when mistreated and offspring to provide for.) and that all those things are fragile and should be cared for. Even in mature men that you respect, a moment of battle between the ape and the angel takes place when an attractive woman 'presents herself' when the man knows it would be a bad idea to engage. (Remember the young forum poster who wanted to hump her older male cousin, and got the reading that said he was angry about it?)

So, I think polyamoris tendencies are part of natural species propagation behaviour (one that works fine for people who lived in trees & caves, and die around 30 years old) that develops before males develop the higher qualites of mind, heart, and self control.
Everything that is built, is built on a base after all.

(oh you grown up (over 30 y/o) polyamorous ones, don't take offense at this, If you have a found a way of happiness that works for you, good for you.)

diamanda · Feb 25, 2019

Moss Elk, it's only February, but I vote for your post above to be post of the year! So substantial and well written, thanks. I'm still laughing with consideration #2.

Now that you mentioned about someone and their cousin, yes I vaguely remember this. I didn't remember the detail that the cousin got angry.

marybluesky · Feb 26, 2019

Moss Elk said:
So, I think polyamoris tendencies are part of natural species propagation behaviour (one that works fine for people who lived in trees & caves, and die around 30 years old) that develops before males develop the higher qualites of mind, heart, and self control.

But in my experience, men over 30 are the ones who only care about sex. The younger ones have a heart, laugh at your jokes, care for what you do.
There are so many different ideas about how men and women are and how love can change them. My feeling about relationships has been swinging from fairly-tale marriage to there-is-nothing-but-sex-there & vice-versa. The only thing I know is that I don't want to tie knots with a man, keep his home and raise his children while he wanders

An important reason I dislike motherhood.

MeltingPot247 · Feb 26, 2019

Well, I've since heard from another of his lovers, that he met before me, so that spices things up a bit.

In fact it totally snaps me out of the daze I have been in for nearly a year. I don't really feel like being intimate with him anymore lol.

legume · Feb 27, 2019

i'm a little late to the whole thread, yet having had similar experiences, thought i'd still share my interpretation...

22.3 > 27 - i find Wilhelm’s commentary to line 3 here very fitting: This represents a very charming life situation. One is under the spell of grace and the mellow mood induced by wine. This grace can adorn, but it can also swamp us. Hence the warning not to sink into convivial indolence but to remain constant in perseverance. Good fortune depends on this.

based on the above, i think depending on your attitude towards this situation the resulting hex 27, providing nourishment, could indicate that this relationship could either be a source of long-term nourishment for you, or can be the cause for you to become more in need to find this nourishment within, as in look after yourself more. or maybe even both.

14.3.6 > 54

in my view 14.3 speaks directly about your open-minded approach to relationships, one that requires a lot of inner strength and acceptance of the other person’s freedom: liberal-minded man should not regard what he possesses as his exclusive personal property / a petty man cannot do this...

personally, i think this is a great exercise of character and a constant battle with one’s ego by demasking jealousy and other emotions that cloud our being. when through such „clouds” one finds clarity, then this is the kind of modesty or authenticity that’s simply blessed by heaven, as in line 6.

as to 54, being consensually non-monogamous myself, i find this hexagram full of the BEST advice on relating to others in an understanding and non-judgmental way, when knowing they’re seeing someone else (and i used to receive it a lot)... there are books on polyamory and open relationships, but reading 54 might be enough of an answer to one's doubts at times

from the hexagram's judgment:
A girl who is taken into the family, but not as the chief wife, must behave with special caution and reserve. She must not take it upon herself to supplant the mistress of the house, for that would mean disorder and lead to untenable relationships. The same is true of all voluntary relationships between human beings. While legally regulated relationships based on personal inclination depend in the long run entirely on tactful reserve. Affection as the essential principle of relatedness is of the greatest importance in all relationships in the world.

and all joking, sexism or ageism aside, however insightful the comments here are, just wanna say - c'mon folks, to each their own

MeltingPot247 · Feb 27, 2019

Wow, thank you Legume - very insightful.

My last post I was a bit shocked as I had uncovered some personal details about 2 of his other lovers lol - but I actually really like one of them, while the other is not my cup of tea as much...but as you said each to their own. I am under less pressure to give of myself 'intimately to him as I have a lot of personal goals this year, but I will remain open and responsive to him in future as I like him for he is, and considered the time we are together as the only time that counts. I don't worry about what he's doing when he's not with me, as he had 4 decades of life with others before meeting me. Of the three of us ladies that I know he's been saying, going by our words and the way we express ourselves (them publicly, I more privately) - it seems I am the more reserved one (pretty unusual for a Sag, might I add but he has that effect on me).

You've made my day, and I guess that's because we have that consensually non-monogomous understanding in common.

I know some of his background story, which makes it easier for me to relate to him and accept him for the way he is. No judgement, just love.

Cheers,
MP

MeltingPot247 · Jul 30, 2023

Update:

For me this is an excellent old thread for me to update on …

I stand by everything I said in this post - I have lived what I said over the past few years with the same person.

61.1 - I didn’t have any set plan or direction of how I wanted things to go between us two specifically … just the general idea that I wanted him to be part of my life, for the rest of my life in whatever shape or form.

61.2 There has been drum beating, there has been weeping and crying, we’ve had our ups and downs.

61.4 I am the one who broke away, by moving away - yet we are still in regular contact and have both flown overseas to one another twice since I left 4 months ago and more trips / visits are on the horizon.

I received 61.1.3.4 to 44 again today for an assessment on the current energies between us due to loss of life in both of our families…

This last sentence from the commentaey of hexgram 61.4 commentary from CafeAuSoul resonates for me:

“Someone may have to run crazy through freedom's tapestry to appreciate the warmth of tethering.”

Reminds me of that saying:

“If you love something, let it go if …
it comes back -

Throw it back because nobody wanted it

jks

Then you know that it is truly yours”

"What are our chances of having a lifelong relationship with one another?" and Yi's a

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