I have long term friend , our relationship is really going down hill, I dont know if we have both changed and just looking at life different, however i have known this person for 30 years, It is a female friend whether that makes a differnce to the reading or not

I asked what are the chances of being friends again?
It doest look great the reading of which i expected in a way however with the 3 lines leading to 8 Union which i tend to get a positive vibration in general or is this just the background to the situation or the past

Would appreciate any help or insight,

Thanks

Steve

I get the impression that you're at stage 36:1 now. The answer suggests you sort of
already know, or somehow feel, what it is that's making you two drift apart, or rather,
you to drift apart from her. You have 'lowered your wings', on your 'wanderings'. This
line speaks of a rift in values. You felt your principles were being compromised in some
way perhaps? And there was gossip against you, which made you feel lonely? Well at
least that's how it sounds from line 1.

Perhaps you're still not certain what the source of all this darkness is, all this gossip, or
even what is this fundamental difference. But line 3 suggests that you will find out (or
have you already?). If you haven't chances are that you will. Line 3 still contains some
hope ("One must not expect perseverance too soon", which means peace could be restored
in the future, but this depends on the rest of the changing lines, probably depending on
the damage this 'great leader' has already caused; although i have yet to see such a dark
element, or person, to revert to a good one...).

Line 5 is a heavy one... the situation it describes is very unpleasant. You will just
realise there's no hope - it sounds as if your friend has been stuck in a very wrong idea,
or belief, has become a little tyrant of some sort, one of those people who do not listen
to anyone, do not listen to logic, but just become trapped in some ego-trip, and cannot
break free no matter what (a fanatic of sorts). Of course this in turn makes people
around them feel like prisoners too. They know they cannot have any sensible
communication with that person, and all they can hope for is for the time to go by
quick, so that they go their own way and be relieved of the callous person. It's very
heavy and very exhausting to try to keep everything 'polite' in the presence of such
people, it's really hard work, as most of us know, and it's even more painful if we know
that at some point we used to share true closeness with this same total stranger we
now have in front of us.

8 is perhaps your past together, but it is also the advice. Base your friendships on true
and mutual feelings, be with people you really fit with.

Don't know if any of this makes sense to you, but this is how it sounds to me. I do hope
you and your friend solve the rift and manage 8 anew together.

Question

I agree, the question is not asked correctly, at least not to get any kind of clear answer.

If it's "going downhill" and then in your question you assume it's beyond downhill and already ended, then you're obviously confusing yourself, so it makes sense to completely disregard this reading and start fresh with a real question that's clear and to the point.

Asking the right question is the first step in divination, without a clear proper question how can you ever hope to get or understand whatever answer appears?

I disagree with the "why" too, although it can help you understand what's going on in the past with the issue, it's better to focus on the goal. (which I assume is why you asked the question the way you did, you're trying to "be friends again" as opposed to focusing on not being or etc.) So, I would simply disregard the reading altogether, you'll merely confuse yourself trying to pick an answer out of it even though the IC usually gives an answer it knows you need to hear.

I would word the question more in the affirmative future or now:

Is there some action I can take to mend/save this relationship?

Or even

Am I supposed to end this relationship?

Maybe even

What action is necessary to return to a state of balance in this relationship? (usually "going downhill" indicates some form of imbalance)

My $0.02

:bows:

Dear Steve,

I hope I don’t add to your confusion here, I generally only interpret my own, but I read the posts and thought I would try to share. If I was interpreting this for myself I would assume 36 is now (a fading sun in our friendship) but that there is a chance of rebuilding the friendship again (8) - it doesn't sound like an easy path or an ideal path (hence the lines) but nothing that can not be overcome with effort and the right attitude, if you still want to - it can be done.

I read the lines as:

.1: First instincts would be to sit down and try to clear the air once and for all - but this would make matters worse, I would not get a satisfactory answer from my friend and the more I probe the more I will be deprived. Thus I would avoid confrontation on the deteriorating situation. There is a lot more going on in her mind than she would care to share at the moment.

3: Tit for tat will not work, getting emotionally carried by her actions wont help either, but there is a sideways path to get to the friendship union, and that is to not allow my friend's action to influence my emotions/feelings and have an impact on my side of the friendship, difficult to hang in on there as it will be one-sided but this will catch the friend unawares to reveal a gateway to what exactly the problem is – only at this point can I thoughtfully and carefully set things straight, I think this line warns again against being hasty or jumping to guns or expecting everything to be back to normal instantly, the friendship will still need work.

5 speaks of determination. Determination, thoughtfulness and more importantly cautiousness and the settings of boundaries, maybe there are somethings that you do you may have to keep to yourself. or somethings she does that you do not approve but which you should keep to yourself, not all things are acceptable to everyone and some dont know how to deal with the unacceptable things/critisims so it is best to close this off, not to share this side.

8 meetings discussions agreements, remain neutral. eventually it will hold together, made to work and dynasty rebuilt....

well, this was my take!

Best wishes
Julie

steve said:

I have long term friend , our relationship is really going down hill, I dont know if we have both changed and just looking at life different, however i have known this person for 30 years, It is a female friend whether that makes a differnce to the reading or not

I asked what are the chances of being friends again?
It doest look great the reading of which i expected in a way however with the 3 lines leading to 8 Union which i tend to get a positive vibration in general or is this just the background to the situation or the past

Would appreciate any help or insight,

Thanks

Steve

Click to expand...

I feel your answer may ask you to consider how much of your self you feel you have to hide with this friend. 36 often means its just not okay to express who you are, you have to feign a persona to be accepted. This is really uncomfortable in a friendship obviously - - may be we have to play a role at work or with family but friends are those we choose to have in our lives. If we have to pretend with them then that costs effort so we have to ask ourselves 'what for' ? Hexagram 8 I think asks you to consider who you truly belong with now - well you'll know that by your feelings. Of course you could still feel regret even if the friendship has grown really hollow as letting go of the familiar - especially 30 years worth is not easy. Or maybe the friend can't be themselves with you ?

Maybe its just at this time you can't be comfortable, have honest exchange together, doesn't mean the friendship has to be over for good. Maybe you just need a break from each other as you move in different directions. Of course what you decide is crucial here i don't think theres an inevitability about the friendship ending or continuing. Ask yourself the things i mentioned above, do you feel you belong with this person now. If you want to go on with them perhaps its well to have patience, looking at line 3, don't try to put it all right at once, stay in the dark a while

Thanks everyone,,most helpful
I think I will remain in the background and it is a situation which could be explosive if i were to push issues, my freind is not lisenting and maybe i am only hearing what i would like to hear. It is very possible this person cant be who they want to be with me around. 8 to me is a very positive hex so it could be maybe time will heal but also this person is a or has become a someone that doest listen or stick to anything. I think I will ask is there anything I can do to save this friendship as well.

There is allot here to look at
I thankyou very much for the help , I can see things a little clearer , Its just so strange how people can become strangers.

Cheers
Steve

I asked what are the chances of being friends again?

Hex 36.1,3,5

The lines clearly show that there is a 'darkening" going on with your relationship, but it suggests that while you are at a loss as to what to do at the moment, don't give up on her, you are also to blame for this darkening because it would seem that you have being playing rather awkward with her, a change of attitude is required from you here. Now, you must try and reconnect with her, to bring the relationship back on line and it can be done if you are careful in the way that you go about it. You may think line 36.5 is a nasty one but here it is not, it is simply advising you to watch yourself in the way that you communicate with her, no brash overtures, you may feel trapped by your inability to be open but just persevere and you will reach your goal.

And Hex 8 is a lovely ending.

steve said:

Its just so strange how people can become strangers.

Click to expand...

.....and beautiful how strangers can become friends...

What happened here Steve?

Any update please?

Sorry for such a slow response, I have been getting some incredible responses from the Yi of late.
I have been taking notes so I hope i can share some soon

Or maybe I am understanding the book better,

I was pretty much a newbie when I cast this reading

If I remember correctly, the person was happier moving on from my friendship at the time, I wasnt very accepting of that at the time.

As I think Trogina mentioned the person wasnt happy with let say who I was at the time.
Which i would have to say looking back was fairly accurate.
Many of the other comments were on path too, I am surprised I didnt get the line about not listening.
However the Yi was more gentle at this time and was giving me hints, much like my friend at the time.

Example not putting a restraining order in place ( i may add i have never had one of those)
Saying look , this is the way it is, learn

10 years later or whatever, people do lose these friendships as I have learned.

The thing people need to learn in any relationship that includes family, a person does not have to be friends with someone else, its a choice.

The thing is also, two people may be friends but both have different idea's of what friendship is, people can sometimes be bound by something that made them friends example school or in other cases drugs or sometimes they just feel like its part of life.

Then one day one party decides its not what is right for them, i guess in this case i got dumped and didnt want to accept it.

Without going to into too many examples, this was something I wasnt accepting.

In hindsight in relation to hexagram 8 , it was me attempting union and thats all, the lines spoke for themselves

Steve

I may add also in hindsight, it wasnt all myself, the person had their own problems as well,
Just one of those things I guess.

Steve