Hello everyone,

This is my first time using I Ching. I am not quite sure how to go about interpreting my reading. Your help with be greatly appreciated.

Here's the situation. I've been dating this girl for nearly 3 years. We had a very loving relationship. Although, that's not to say we never fought. We fought, we broke up, we make up, etc. Around 6 months ago we got into a fight and I lost my temper and yelled at her (for the first time). She was very upset. She went on to say that she felt unfree, pressured, unhappy, and unable to be herself when she is with me. I accepted all the things she said with a heavy heart. I agreed to break up. Around a week later, we manage to make up again. Unfortunately, ever since that massive fight, she distant herself. She insisted that she's a changed person (meaning she needs to go out with her friends and this is what she enjoys the most). I tried to give her space, I tried to accustomed myself to her new lifestyle. Day after day she drifts away more and more. The harder I tried to hang onto her, the more she seem to slip away. Finally, I decided to let go of her. She agreed. We did not contact each other for 2 months. Currently, we are trying to remain friends. Sadly, I am still very much in love with her. I told her so, I told her I didn't want to give up the relationship and wanted to fight for it. She got very angry. She told me she no longer feels the same way about me. She yelled and cursed at me. Minutes later she sent a text apologizing. I said it was ok and agreed that we can continue to be friends and only friends. A few days later, when we were talking on the phone, I had somehow irritated her and she yelled at me and hung up the phone (in front of her friend). Minutes later she sent a text apologizing. I said it was ok. I told her I won't bother her and if she doesn't hear from me, she shouldn't worry. I am simply taking a break.

In my mind, it is ok if she is angry. If she yells and screams and curses at me when we are alone in privacy. I find it incredibly humiliating and degrading that she expresses herself this way in front of her friend. At this point, I am finding that we can't be kind and respectful to each other. I find it reasonable to stop talking to each other all together. However, recently she texted to ask how I am doing. I haven't yet replied to her. I am not quite sure where to go on from here. Do I walk away or do I keep trying?

So this is what I asked I Ching "What will happen if I continue to wait and fight for my ex girlfriend?"

My result was Cast Hexagram 51. Changing Line 5. Transformed Hexagram 17.

Your time is greatly appreciated.

Fighting or waiting? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But I think you should take time to think If it makes any sense to you if you do not want the history to repeat itself. Is it healthly for you? Think about you own good also if she cannot appreciate you and treat you bad. But the fact is that there is nothing to lose now if you will respond to her. But you should be honest with yourself first If it is what you want.

Six in the fifth place means:

Shock goes hither and thither. Danger. However, nothing at all is lost. Yet there are things to be done.

This is a case not of a single shock but of repeated shocks with no breathing space between. Nonetheless, the shock causes no loss, because one takes care to stay in the center of movement and in this way to be spared the fate of being helplessly tossed hither and thither.

hex. 17 , line five : Is she treating you sincerely that you are willing to follow her?


Hope it helps

Hi desertlark,

Thank you for responding. You've really clarified some things for me. If I am interpreting this correctly, I Ching is leaving it up to me to decide whether or not I want to pursue this relationship or not. Nothing to lose, nothing to gain. Such an unsettling respond haha.

I suppose my choice of action is.. try to be kind, calm, and responsive.

Would it defeats the purpose if I continue to ask I Ching some more questions regarding the relationship?

Thanks

You are welcome

You can try but do not ask the same questions becouse Yi does not like it

As long as she will not figure out if she really wants to be with you, you will be tortured by her changing moods constantly propably, because everything would depend on her, since she already knows that you showed her your great commitment. It can be a real roller coaster for you. So yes, try to be kind, calm, and responsive if you wish to talk to her - just as you mentioned But remember , take into account your inner harmony. Do not let her moods manipulate you to feel guilty or something becouse from what I know you are doing your best.

Yes you are right. I will be careful to protect my own feelings.

In this kind of situation try to keep a balanced position. If you are aroused and shaken by every change in direction she makes she will regard you as weak and subject you to even more chaos. But don't go to the other extreme of trying to be rock-hard, unresponsive, cold and unloving - if you do that you'll lose her. She's searching for your weaknesses and strengths and the correct response to that is a CALM MATURE BALANCE.
Follow YOUR value system with strength, with care and sincerity. Don't try to egotistically display your value system but just let it be your constant, silent guide.

Hi Peter2610,

What a great response! You've really nailed my flaws (aggression, hot temper, all other things alike). Would it be accurately to say that Yi is telling me not to act in the extreme of trying too hard or leaving all together but rather, I should stay in the middle?

I've also asked another question: What should I do in regards to my relationship with my ex girlfriend ? 51.6>27

I feel like this reading almost have the same idea as the first reading. What do you think?

Any update on the situation?

If it says 'guest' under a person's name it means that person has left. Hence there won't be any updates unless the person returns with another name.