Ignore Hex 51

becalm · Feb 16, 2019

This man has shown romantic interest and then backs off although we're yet to even go on a date. I haven't seen him for a while but unexpectedly we saw each other at a distance today and just kind of acknowledged each other and kept walking. I'm kinda a bit over his hot/cold approach.....How would it benefit me to just ignore him from now on? Hexagram 51...could be it will spur him to take action or he'll take me by surprise. Could be either/or couldn't it?

marybluesky · Feb 16, 2019

Hello becalm!

How would it benefit me to just ignore him from now on? Hexagram 51
It will benefit you in a Surprising (51) way- I can't say how exactly; maybe he'll suddenly take action? Or you'll find out some unexpected benefits of distancing yourself from this man? Anyway, the surprise is on its way if you keep on ignoring him

becalm · Feb 17, 2019

Thanks marybluesky - it did benefit me in a surprising way as today I unexpectedly saw him again. He was in conversation so I didn't even bother saying hello but you could see he was a bit 'rattled' by my presence as I had to literally walk right past him to get where I was going and I could feel him watching me as he continued talking. Ego stroke for me! Haha....What can I expect next time we cross paths hexagram 16.1>51 oh no there's the 51 again. Not sure what Line 1 means here except he may call out to me? but what would be the Pitfall. Anyway Enthusiasm sounds good to me.

Freedda · Feb 17, 2019

16.1 > 51. Sometimes readiness - to be ready for something new - means a willingness to accept, to be vulnerable to another's foibles and human-ness, as well as our own. And sometimes we proclaim our readiness when we in fact we are just as awkward and vulnerable as another - or the other. To turn to friends for help and to celebrate our fragile lives is a a part of this 'making ready' I think. And what a surprise it is too!

Trojina · Feb 17, 2019

16.1 is deluded readiness. Calling out too much, getting excited over what isn't there.

What can I expect next time we cross paths hexagram 16.1>51 oh no there's the 51 again. Not sure what Line 1 means here except he may call out to me? but what would be the Pitfall. Anyway Enthusiasm sounds good to me.

Stop expecting because it's not based on anything real right now.

I think it's a good idea to let him go as you had already decided.. A better idea than ignoring games.

Freedda · Feb 17, 2019

Trojina said:
Stop expecting because it's not based on anything real right now ....I think it's a good idea to let him go as you had already decided.. A better idea than ignoring games.

.... Or .... walk up to him and say 'hi, we keep crossing paths ... my name is ...' Or whatever words work for you.

Just because there isn't anything 'real' there right now doesn't mean you can't explore the possibility of making something real happen. Then you'll have real information to base a real decision on.

Trojina · Feb 17, 2019

becalm said:
This man has shown romantic interest and then backs off although we're yet to even go on a date. I haven't seen him for a while but unexpectedly we saw each other at a distance today and just kind of acknowledged each other and kept walking. I'm kinda a bit over his hot/cold approach.....How would it benefit me to just ignore him from now on? Hexagram 51...could be it will spur him to take action or he'll take me by surprise. Could be either/or couldn't it?

Neither. 51uc is often a state of excitement in you. I don't think there's any benefit in ignoring him and besides why would you seek anything from someone who needs you to ignore them.

If you go on with ignoring you find yourself in a state of emotional arousal that you are now. I don't think the answer says anything about what he will do and the 16.1 shows clearly it's not a good idea for you to be having expectations around him. The expectation, whether you ignore him or not, is the arousal of 51. Is any of it going anywhere ? It doesn't look that way to me.

Trojina · Feb 17, 2019

Freedda said:
.... Or .... walk up to him and say 'hi, we keep crossing paths ... my name is ...' Or whatever words work for you.

Just because there isn't anything 'real' there right now doesn't mean you can't explore the possibility of making something real happen. Then you'll have real information to base a real decision on.

That's not really the point.

Her question was

What can I expect next time we cross paths hexagram 16.1>51

The answer says

'Enthusiasm calling out,
Pitfall.'

It really isn't a good idea to be expecting anything.

That doesn't preclude introducing herself or whatever but I am just looking at how the answer applies to her question. She is waiting for something from him and 16.1 clearly says that's not a great idea because she is waiting for something that isn't there.

Trojina · Feb 17, 2019

Ignore Hex 51
This man has shown romantic interest and then backs off although we're yet to even go on a date. I haven't seen him for a while but unexpectedly we saw each other at a distance today and just kind of acknowledged each other and kept walking. I'm kinda a bit over his hot/cold approach.....How would it benefit me to just ignore him from now on? Hexagram 51...could be it will spur him to take action or he'll take me by surprise. Could be either/or couldn't it?

You've given Yi no room to move by saying 'how would it benefit me ?' well what if it wouldn't benefit you ? I think 51uc shows it wouldn't get you anywhere in particular apart from increased personal excitement and expectation. That's confirmed by the 16.1.

I think it's pretty much always a mistake to think you can guarantee what a person will do via a Yi answer.

If you leave Yi out of it then you could do as David suggests and introduce yourself but you haven't asked about that. I'm not sure how he can have signified romantic interest if you have never spoken though ? I took it that you had already spoken.

Freedda · Feb 17, 2019

Trojina said:
That's not really the point.

Yes, exactly. What it seems like is that becalm is in danger of being caught up in an endless feedback loop: ... He did this, ask Yi what that means; he did that, ask Yi what I should do ... and so on, which I expect would make anyone give up after not too long.

So, since 51 shows up in both readings, I suggested that she might try getting past the initial 'fear and alarm' of the first step of meeting someone, and make a bit of a bolder, 'shocking' move to actually talk to the guy. After all, she doesn't want to 'drop the ladle of sacred wine,' or the initial sense of attraction that started the whole thing, at least without giving it more of a try than asking some stupid ol' book a bunch of questions.

Best, David

Trojina · Feb 17, 2019

Yes, I see, but your reasoning wasn't clear since this

16.1. Sometimes readiness - to be ready for something new - means a willingness to accept, to be vulnerable to another's foibles and human-ness, as well as our own. And sometimes we proclaim our readiness when we in fact we are just as awkward and vulnerable as another - or the other. To turn to friends for help and to celebrate our fragile lives is a a part of this 'making ready' I think. And what a surprise it is too!

….looked like that is what you thought 16.1 meant. I don't think 16.1 says that but if David says that that's another thing.

Freedda · Feb 17, 2019

I was looking at the reading as a whole (16> 51 and 51uc), and was trying to neither hold the relationship nor the reading at 'arm's lenght.' What I saw was becalm talking about this guy's mis-steps and perhaps his mixed messages, but I feel we all have these, even though it is all to easy to 'proclaim' them about another. We too easily say, 'i am ready, they are not,' or 'they are sending mixed messages and I am not,' when maybe this is only part of what is true.

Perhaps it's because the snow is melting and it's a tad bit warmer here (37f/2.7c) that I'm feeling a bit poetic, though I'll leave it to Becalm to see if what I shared is of some use to her.

Best, David.

becalm · Feb 17, 2019

Thanks Trojina and Freeda. Yes we've spoken briefly a while back now when he told me he'd love to go out sometime but since then it has been the mixed messages when we cross paths. Actually it'd been so long since I'd seen him I thought he'd left town and pretty much forgotten about him. So yes these readings are probably a pure reflection of my hopes and so I'm getting myself worked up about nothing because as Trojina says there's nothing concrete there.

...life can be translucent

Ignore Hex 51

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