Here in New England it is just beginning to turn to spring - the snow is melting, the birds are returning, the days are longer...

I have many blessings to be thankful for, and I have worked hard to put myself where I am in life. I am, however, single and not-so-excited to be. I am terrified of stepping into the world of dating after 2 years of focusing on building a business and essentially rebuilding my life after a big breakup. After a long, cold winter of solitude I know that I must start the wheels turning on remedying my "singular" situation. I have wondered what would make me feel "ready" to initiate this process, but whatever scheme I come up with I realize there's something I do not see about myself that is somehow eliciting this feeling of inertia.

I asked today: What is my "blind spot" regarding relationships?

The response: Hex 42.1>20

The interpretations refer to a time of abundance and opportunity. Hillary's translation states to "use your blessing!" and that this is the moment to get underway... I suppose the advice would be simply to ACT, however, I suppose I am confused as to how this answers the question of a "blind spot"... perhaps the response is saying "Stop thinking, start doing"?

Would love to hear the thoughts of others...

With much gratitude.

Hi SeeBeauty,
after some experience with Yi you'll come to know that we do not get direct answers to all of our questions (just the majority of them) but sometimes get bigger answers that address the situation and concerns.
You just had this happen:

The querant wants to do something. and is worried about it, and so asks Yi a tangential question.

Yi steers attention back to the matter at hand and says go for it.

What is my "blind spot" regarding relationships?
42.1 > 20

42.1 speaks of accomplishing great deeds, with great good luck and no blame. 20 is about being respected. Do you usually go into relationships to gain recognition for your achievements? Do you base your self worth on what you have (or have not) achieved? Or maybe you seek achievers who you can respect.

You say that you feel something in you is causing you inertia and fear about starting to date. Maybe that's because you like succeeding and being respected for your success, and hence you fear that if you fail, you will not be respected. Or, it could be that you're not paying enough attention to what the other person has achieved (or not achieved).

A further thought - did you have parents who strongly urged you to be successful, who gave you 'love' (conditional approval) only when you achieved great deeds? 20 is (among other things) about power and control. In relationships, it's good to function from a position of love. That means we love the other person for who they are, not for what they have accomplished. If they fail in something, we still love them. The opposite of functioning on love fuel is functioning on power fuel, i.e. preferring to be admired rather than loved, settling in low/high positions rather than in equal positions.

What happened with that guy you wanted to ask on a date?

Hi SeeBeauty,

"What is my "blind spot" regarding relationships?"
42.1 to 20 ~ You are afraid to try.

When it comes to change, timing is everything.

From the Daniel Young i-Ching:

42 Increase
It is favorable to have an objective and the right time to set-out on a great undertaking.

line 1 ~ The time is favorable for great accomplishments, leading to blameless, supreme good fortune.

20 Observation
It is a time of preparation, not the time for the main offering. Be sincere, dignified and sympathetic.

So, it's like the old sports adage says: "If you want to score, then, first, you have to get in the game."

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Thank you all for taking time to respond here.

There is absolutely a baseline energy of generalized fear going on. At 36 I have been in a number of long term committed partnerships, all of which have ultimately "failed". I fear getting involved with the wrong person once again, and finding myself three years from now in the same place once again. The added layer of wanting a child makes the "stakes" of making a wrong decision feel so much higher still.

Diamanda, your commentary is very interesting, as I am a fairly artistic/non-linear (who is simultaneously really quite organized and ambitious) person who was raised by two fairly conservative/linear people, creating a bit of a dualistic back and forth in my emotional response to the world in many regards. My father particularly, being a military man, can only express any kind of pride in who I am when I achieve things he sees as worthy (opening a retirement account, paying taxes on time, etc, etc). Due to these atmospheric conditions of my upbringing I am very hard on myself and although in my conscious mind I can recognize that I am worthy of love and admiration from another, I can also recognize a shadow-voice whispering perpetually opposite themes...

It is funny you ask about that person I wanted to ask on a date. He is a carpenter, working on a large project at my mothers house, which will likely not be completed until a couple of months from now. I am still very interested, but have decided I would not make any kind of move until the project is finished, as perhaps it would make for awkward working conditions for him... Reading the commentary from Moss Elk and Radiofreewill into the situation I could see this response as a prodding to moving forward on that situation, if the response were indeed about an underlying situation instead of my more conscious question...

Anyhow, I do feel in my heart-of-hearts that forward movement does need to be initiated soon, thus my questioning in the first place.

It almost feels like the melting snow is a metaphor these days. The return of warmth...

...also...

A few days ago I asked "What is the nature of the forces between J and I?", regarding this crush of mine.
and received 58.1>10

The interpretations seem particularly disparate on this line but it seems to imply an attraction, which I obviously know to be true on my end. Perhaps the resulting 10 is reference to my waiting for the right time... perhaps all of this thought of how/why I pursue relationship this next time around is my treading carefully in order to (hopefully) do things "right" the next time around...

Anyhow, I thought this would perhaps be relevant in relation to this thread.

SeeBeauty said:

but have decided I would not make any kind of move until the project is finished, as perhaps it would make for awkward working conditions for him... Reading the commentary from Moss Elk and Radiofreewill into the situation I could see this response as a prodding to moving forward on that situation

Click to expand...

I'm with Moss Elk and Radiofreewill, make a move towards him. Why would he feel awkward? He would probably fly through the project And I agree with you that you should definitely initiate movement towards your dream, if not with this guy then with someone else.

Can you re-check your new cast? 58.1 leads to 47, not 10.

I meant to write 58.6!

Thank you for the encouragement, it is most helpful.

Despite my nerves I will find a way one of these days!

What is the nature of the forces between J and I? 58.6 > 10
One of you is very alluring and is calling the shots. This makes the other person cautious and so it should.

If he's too alluring and too good-looking then you've got good reason to worry that he's not relationship material. Or, seen from a different angle, if you feel that your crush on him is so strong that it's clouding your logical reasoning then you should proceed with caution. Or, if you're the alluring one, realise your strength.

SeeBeauty said:

...also...
A few days ago I asked "What is the nature of the forces between J and I?", regarding this crush of mine.
and received 58.1>10

Click to expand...

Hello See Beauty!
58 is Opening; and 58.6, seductive opening. I think hexagram 10 shows that you eventually have to "Worry the Tiger"- take steps (Tread), seduce him (58.6) and enter to the emotional & practical realm of this new relationship if you want it to happen. Also, the cast may mean that after the initial opening, the Tiger will be Worried: the emotions flare up, then you should see what happens next.
I used to see the 10th hexagram in a bad light when I received it for relationships; now I think differently: any romantic relationship is stepping on the tiger's tail -our emotions, inner conflicts, shadows, as well as all external unpredictable conditions we face-, especially when we have strong feelings & attraction towards someone.
I agree with others' opinion on your casts: you should take a step toward this new guy before it's late.

Any update?
Did you feel the time for love hunting was right? Did you feel supported by the cosmo?