10.4.5.6 > 19 - why did he break up with me out of nowhere?

[openheartsf]

Why did this relationship end?

Hi friends,
I’ve been absent for a while and have just gone through a hard breakup with a man I really thought was ‘the one’. It was a 71/2 month beautiful romance, with a lot of love, connection and emotion. All signals were pointing to “go”. We started off slowly and he pursued me and fell hard for me. There was a lot of initiation on his part to move things forward...to the next level. He was the first one to say ‘I love you’ and to ask me to be his girlfriend. He was smitten in words and actions. He never cancelled a date and was always a man of his word. He told me I was the woman of his dreams and he wanted to grow old with me.

Then…a few weeks ago, seemingly out of nowhere, he ended it. It was heartbreaking to say the least. I couldn’t understand it. He just said “we’re too different”. I tried to talk him out of making such a rash decision, because it was so confounding and didn’t make a lot of sense. A few days before the breakup he expressed jealousy when there was no threat, at times he was very needy and he required a lot of attention. I am a person who likes to take things slowly, I enjoy me "me time" and it seems that he just didn’t feel that I was appreciating him. This man did a lot for me, adored me, showered me with affection and never seemed to waiver in his love. He included me in all aspects of his life (family, work, took care of me when I was ill or if I ever needed anything). And he talked about getting married.

I really need some clarity about the situation. After over two weeks of no contact I bumped in to him today. He was cordial, nice, nervous, receptive to seeing me, but that's all. He hugged me 3 times and gave me a kiss on the cheek. This encounter brought up a lot of emotions for me, and I’m still so uncertain about why he ended it. So I asked Yi, “please provide clarity as to why this relationship ended”.

The answer was: 10.4,5, 6 > 19

I’m not that good at interpreting Iching. The oracle of hex 10, Treading talks about a tiger and danger? There are a lot of moving lines.

19 represents “nearing”.

I’m afraid I need an outside perspective because my objectiveness of the situation is lacking at the moment. Many thanks!

 

[marybluesky]

Hello openheartsf!

Sorry for what you've gone through.
please provide clarity as to why this relationship ended? 10.4,5, 6 > 19.
Too me Hex 10 sounds like he has been treading around you during your relationship, like walking on the egg shells.
Line 4: " Treading on a tiger's tail so panicky; in the end auspicious." Maybe he's been afraid of (some behaviors of) you?? But decided to go on nevertheless...
Line 5: "Resolute conduct. Perseverance with awareness of danger." And was always careful not to spoil the things because he loved you.
Line 6: " Observe your conduct and examine the signs carefully. There will be great good fortune." He's been overly cautious in his conducts in order to save the precious thing you guys had.

The 6th line shows the expiration of the hexagram: the treading is over- I guess he's done with it. Hexagram 19- Approach- shows an overview of what happened: "Great Success. It is of benefit to continue. When the eighth month arrives, then there will be misfortune." He remained in the relationship and invested in it because he saw the potential for success; then arrived a time when he no longer could continue.
So ... I guess he ended the things because he was tired of walking on the eggshells all the time. He still does love you, but finds the dynamic of your relationship too draining.

I hope the best for you.

 

[equinox]

Too me Hex 10 sounds like he has been treading around you during your relationship, like walking on the egg shells.
Line 4: " Treading on a tiger's tail so panicky; in the end auspicious." Maybe he's been afraid of (some behaviors of) you?? But decided to go on nevertheless...
Line 5: "Resolute conduct. Perseverance with awareness of danger." And was always careful not to spoil the things because he loved you.
Line 6: " Observe your conduct and examine the signs carefully. There will be great good fortune." He's been overly cautious in his conducts in order to save the precious thing you guys had.

I was totally thinking the same.

 

[openheartsf]

Marybluesky...wow! That is pretty much exactly what happened. We even mentioned the "walking on eggshells" thing. And yes there were certain behaviors that he didn't like, and I that's what he told me, "I don't want to change you...but I'm done".
Great Success. It is of benefit to continue. When the eighth month arrives, then there will be misfortune."
This is interesting...because he ended things right before the 8th month.

Many thanks for this reading interpretation. It's just sad that we couldn't work through it. He's a great person, but the reality is we both have a lot of work to do around relationships and communication.

 

[rosada]

Perhaps the walking on eggshells thing was also about the idea of marriage. It’s bizarre to bring up the possibility of marriage but then no actual proposal. I think he called things off because he realize he had gone too far out on a limb with that discussion and didn’t know how to back peddle.
Don’t let him kiss, hug or touch you ever again!

 

[openheartsf]

Thanks Rosada,
I get what you're saying but it was too soon for a proposal. I actually told him I'd need 4 seasons before that kind of commitment. He was hinting at marriage at around 5-6 months. Then the fire went out at some point.
My general sense is that he didn't feel like he was getting his needs met. He's kind of a needy guy and needs a lot of attention (abandonment issues from childhood). And to some degree he's right...I wasn't fully opening up to the relationship. I was fearful about getting hurt. Even as he was putting so much investment in to it...With adoring words and generous actions...I still found it hard to trust (my trust issues mirror his).
He started complaining because I never called him or initiated anything (texts, calls, etc). He didn't like that I wasn't spontaneous and always required planned dates. We only live 4 blocks away from each other and he kept saying how happy it would make him if I just popped over to his place some time to give him a kiss, etc. I'm not an initiator, I usually let the man lead, I was never unreceptive...but basically he got tired of chasing me. I thought I had time on our side, I really thought he was committed to a future together, so my thinking was..."what's the rush? if we get married we'll see each other every day...why do we need to be joined at the hip at this early stage?". Plus I just like space and I'm super busy so a lot of those things he wanted me to do just weren't possible. But...yeah I could have made more effort.