20 changing into 22 help please

[star_crazy]

Hi all,
I asked the I ching if it will be beneficial for all involved if my boyfriend of two years is to move in. On the last two throws over this last six months I have received 45 family.
Today I asked again as we need to make a final decision as he is selling his house and he will either move in with me or buy another property.
I received today 20 changing into 22 I feel this reflects my feelings about it but as it's a big decision as I have children I wanted to ask your opinions please. Thanks xx

 

[star_crazy]

I should have put 37 family not 45 sorry.

 

[tigerintheboat]

Hi all,
I asked the I ching if it will be beneficial for all involved if my boyfriend of two years is to move in. On the last two throws over this last six months I have received 45 family.
Today I asked again as we need to make a final decision as he is selling his house and he will either move in with me or buy another property.
I received today 20 changing into 22 I feel this reflects my feelings about it but as it's a big decision as I have children I wanted to ask your opinions please. Thanks xx

If you got H20 changing into H22, then Lines 1, 3 and 5 are all moving lines, and we should pay attention to them.

Also, Yi is emphasizing your family in previous readings, and you mentioned your children in this question. So that should be one of our focuses.

My take on this is that Uncle Yi, while being philosophical, is against the move. H20.1 indicates that your take on the matter is childlike, and while that is fine if you have no responsibilities, it is not suitable if you do.

The take in the WikiWing is a little more gentle, but makes the same point. If you have responsibilities, this is not the right move. See whether you can relate to any of the following:

"‘A child seeing.
For small people, no mistake.
For a noble one, shame.’

Watching the world like a child: with no possibility of changing it, maybe lots of imaginative activity and story-telling about possible futures, maybe trusting you’ll be taken care of, or being anxious about whether you will be.

A child is a dependent. Her model of the world is all about, 'What will it mean for me? What will I get?' Seeing like a child means watching others for their reactions, believing that your well-being depends on them.

If you’re in a position where you need to adapt and be flexible, this is not a mistake – in fact, the commentary on the line says this is the dao of small people. But if you are or aspire to be in a position of greater responsibility, it’s shameful. Since this is line 1, it could be the moment when you become aware you’re seeing the world like a child, and feel ashamed.

Lines 3 and 5 are about contemplation of action and contemplation of self. To me all of this points to the fact that you want this man to be with you, but you no longer have the freedom of action that you once had as a single person.

Tiger

 

[star_crazy]

Hi Tiger
Thanks for your reply.
Unless I am being naive I do not perceive myself as being childish with this decision.
My children are 18 and 15, my 18 year old Daughter is expecting a baby and will be moving in with her partner January. My 15 year old Daughter leaves school in June although its important to me that they are happy for my partner to move in and be part of our lives, I feel its time for me to also think about my future and what I want.
My partner has pretty much lived here for a year and a half, both of the girls care about him. I have spent time discussing this with my girls and both girls have expressed they are happy for him to move in. My partner has two younger children whom come to us every other week and holidays. We have spent hours discussing the pros and cons for all of our children and tried to accommodate all of their needs in planning the move. I have thought long and hard about all aspects of my partner moving in. As a unit i feel we would all benefit from this move, I asked the I ching to have confirmation it would be positive for all involved. Maybe I have been childish ? I will reflect upon that today.


If you’re in a position where you need to adapt and be flexible, this is not a mistake – in fact, the commentary on the line says this is the dao of small people. But if you are or aspire to be in a position of greater responsibility, it’s shameful. Since this is line 1, it could be the moment when you become aware you’re seeing the world like a child, and feel ashamed.

I feel i can relate more to the first line as we will need to adapt and be flexible in various ways. My boyfriend is a fire fighter and works shifts we have to be flexible. We have four children to take into account and house. We have spoke about converting the garage into a bedroom and other ways to accommodate all of our needs. I will need to adapt to not being as independent but hoped I could learn to enjoy a partnership and see it as a positive not a negative. We are very much in love and are a great team together, we both love each others children and all enjoy being together.

I am very confused now :-&

Thanks for your time its much appreciated xx

I am very confused now, any more advice apprceiated,

 

[pocossin]

I am very confused now, any more advice appreciated,

The confusion is not just yours but also in the parsing of the nine Chinese characters of 20.1, which have the English equivalents

child observation common person no blame noble born disgrace

and is phrased

child observation
common person no blame
noble born disgrace

Based on context I believe hexagram 20 refers to the supervision of children and should be rendered

child supervision
common person no blame
noble born disgrace

That is, a government official should not neglect affairs of state for domestic duties. In your case, you have appropriately considered the interests of the children, so there is no blame.

 

[tigerintheboat]

The Beauty of Perspective

I am very confused now :-&

There are no absolutes in any reading...sometimes people get a difficult reading and just go and do the thing anyway, because they want to, or they must or they feel compelled to. No great harm, life is to be lived and experienced, and you must have both ends of the stick.

In this case, the cautionary line here is just a minor note, I think. At worst you are satisfying some needs of yours without higher purpose. This is not awful, by any means, and you will have your needs satisfied, which is almost always a good thing.

Since your children are not young, and one is moving out soon, perhaps this line is not about the path of your children, but the needs of his younger children. Could Line 1 simply be a cautionary note that you will be required to act as the parent again, just as your parenting years are nearing an end? In any case, the man is not a stranger to your children, and the transition does not seem terribly abrupt. I would just remember the needs of the 15 year old child; a girl that age might be hard to read and very sensitive!

I liked Pocossin's alternate interpretation of the lines, but when I looked over a detailed description of the characters, it still does seem to be talking about how a child has a very limited perception. The theme of the hexagram itself is that of the broad perspective of seeing and overseeing; Line 1 is the (inadequate) beginning of that process. A child can't take a broad perspective, he is all about "me." You will have responsibilities, with your younger daughter and two new part-time family members, so this will not be just a love relationship with your partner.

Probably this is all decided already, so best of luck!

Tiger

 

[star_crazy]

Thankyou both for your further information and your time.
Yes tiger my 15 year old is hard to read and sensitive I agree and we have done our upmost to take her wants and needs into consideration.
I will have more responsibility with my partners children and im happy with that. I have my first grandchild on the way in April and will have further responsibility.
Our first and foremost hopes are to provide a loving stable home for all of our children/grandchildren.
We have decided to put my partners house on the market.
Thanks for your help :bows: