33.4.5.>52 Healing jealousy & other insecurities

[grace heart]

Hi everyone,

Having been gifted with a loving long-term relationship with a free man, for the first time in my life I am really facing up to my ahem controlling tendencies, or rather their origins - insecurity due to lack of self esteem, and trust. I tried blaming him, but of course this never works, so I decided I'd do some further excavation work on my connections with myself, see how this reflects on my external circumstance, including this relationship.

Part of me still wants to run away, says that's close enough thanks, far too much trust, I'm risking my life here, I feel too vulnerable. I get these doubts, which perfectly justify my fears, but to my knowledge there's nothing to support them. Never saw myself as a particularly insecure woman, or god forbid jealous, eeeew, but looks like I am that way inclined after all - he is but a trigger. Besides, I certainly don't want to spoil what I have, only to find myself in another relationship - but with the same issues.

So I asked Yi about "trusting him whilst I work on my issues about lack of trust?", and "I want to get rid of this jealous feeling".

The answer to both queries was identical: 33.4.5. > 52

I'm standing too close - anyone can see the bigger picture here?

Many thanks,

Grace

 

[answeredquestions]

Hi Grace,

I was just looking at the Image Text for 33. I get a picture of a person only interacting with things of higher importance and I am wondering if the reading is categorizing feelings of jealousy etc into a lesser category type. Like a place not good for you to interact with. Perhaps the retreat is not from the man, just from the lesser emotions. Almost as though the Yi is giving you a picture of what you would like to do, walk away from these types of feelings, not have them, not interact with them and stop the energy from circling around them (because they are negative) and because you know they could only hinder your higher purpose and happiness in life.

Now, of course, if the man is also hindering you in obvious ways, then yeah, I'd say walk from that too. That would be for you to judge

I also see lines 4 andf 5 saying the same thing as the Image Text. You are choosing to steer yourself a certain way, and that will of course take work. And probably little steps are the only way, no giant leaps (line 4 changes to hex 53). Also in line 4, I think the negative part (小人否) can be seen as positive advice - that despite others (or even yourself every now and again) precieving this as a wrong route for you, you must still slowly continue at it. Because everything has it's ups and downs, the negative part might be talking of the down times, where you hit a hard part (emotions are stubborn!).

I am seeing 52 as the way to retreat, through resistance. Rather than acting out on feelings that emerge, stopping them in their tracks. Once you stop them, you can sometimes see the benefit from how you did not react, then it could become easier to do the same thing in the future (almost like a 'good habit').

These are just some thoughts. I was reading your post and all these things were popping out, thought I'd chime in. I wish you the best.

-AQ

 

[grace heart]

Thank you, dear AQ, your answer deeply resonated with the way I was feeling, but couldn't quite muster enough focus to translate those feelings into words. Your help here much appreciated - I wish you the best also.

Grace