44 Unchanging - Divorce Settlement

[beatpoet]

Sigh. Been in a very protracted divorce, the whole thing is on year 16. Yes, you read that right.

First half (because it's taking place on 2 different continents) is complete. Second half involves a piece of property. He's a businessman of great craft, experience, and skill. I am not. Lol. He is not ethical, and I am. I refuse to lie under oath, he has no issues whatsoever. Hence the divorce. Hence the protracted divorce.

Recently, he was forced by the Supreme Court in country 1 to settle the judgment which he had been held in contempt for 4 years. Yes, I won on the basis that he was unable to probe his case which was based on false grounds. My counter-petition was granted on the basis that I had substantiated the grounds. So I am by law divorced, however ...

Part 2 Country 2. Neither of us has yet filed for missed assets, but specifically a piece of valuable property in Country 2 that he did not list in his original plaint (because he had attempted to get a default judgment). Before *finally* settling part 1 (only two weeks ago), he had put forth a deal to settle everything at once -- means to end the entire matter which included missed assets. In that offer, saying he low-balled the settlement amount is an understatement. I refused it on principle.

I am tired, but not vanquished at this point. I asked Yi: Will he cut a deal with me (as in will he reply with a counter offer and settle this whole thing)?

44 Unchanging

Atm, I am taking this to mean he won't on the basis of "don't meet a powerful woman." In other words, no.

Am I on the wrong track altogether? The thought of *more* is almost more than I can bear.

Trust me any help would be so appreciated.

 

[becalm]

Who's in the stronger position? Whoever it is they know the other won't take the offer.
Not sure if that actually answers your question maybe just describes the situation.

 

[redoleander]

I'm taking this to mean, unfortunately, that you might not be able to get a better deal than this out of him and that it will save you suffering to just take it and walk. That said, this is very important and you should probably get some experienced perspective on this hex (and some good legal advice?) Commenting mostly so that the thread will stay up high and others will chime in!

 

[beatpoet]

Who's in the stronger position? Whoever it is they no the other won't take the offer.
Not sure if that actually answers your question maybe just describes the situation.

Becalm:

I really appreciate the reply. You know this is a tough one to answer.

Sigh. Been in a very protracted divorce, the whole thing is on year 16. Yes, you read that right.

First half (because it's taking place on 2 different continents) is complete. Second half involves a piece of property. He's a businessman of great craft, experience, and skill. I am not. Lol. He is not ethical, and I am. I refuse to lie under oath, he has no issues whatsoever. Hence the divorce. Hence the protracted divorce.

Recently, he was forced by the Supreme Court in country 1 to settle the judgment which he had been held in contempt for 4 years. Yes, I won on the basis that he was unable to probe his case which was based on false grounds. My counter-petition was granted on the basis that I had substantiated the grounds. So I am by law divorced, however ...

Part 2 Country 2. Neither of us has yet filed for missed assets, but specifically a piece of valuable property in Country 2 that he did not list in his original plaint (because he had attempted to get a default judgment). Before *finally* settling part 1 (only two weeks ago), he had put forth a deal to settle everything at once -- means to end the entire matter which included missed assets. In that offer, saying he low-balled the settlement amount is an understatement. I refused it on principle.

I am tired, but not vanquished at this point. I asked Yi: Will he cut a deal with me (as in will he reply with a counter offer and settle this whole thing)?

44 Unchanging

Atm, I am taking this to mean he won't on the basis of "don't meet a powerful woman." In other words, no.

Am I on the wrong track altogether? The thought of *more* is almost more than I can bear.

Trust me any help would be so appreciated.

Becalm:

I really appreciate the reply. You know this is a tough one to answer. It's a GREAT question. I would say, net on net, he's in the better position overall. I cannot say that with 100 percent confidence because it depends how you're looking at it.

Beatpoet.

 

[becalm]

Becalm:

I really appreciate the reply. You know this is a tough one to answer.

Becalm:

I really appreciate the reply. You know this is a tough one to answer. It's a GREAT question. I would say, net on net, he's in the better position overall. I cannot say that with 100 percent confidence because it depends how you're looking at it.

Beatpoet.

Your perspective is probably what you need to look at hahaha - probs a tricky situation.

 

[Hartloper]

hi beatpoet,

oh, Hex #44! that's turned up in many readings for me lately. i find it very puzzling and have been wrestling with it ever since.

sorry to hear of your situation.

i'm afraid i'd agree with redoleander. as far as i understand it in your case #44 could relate to his erratic behavior in the pose of the strong-man and rule-breaker/-maker. so the outlook seems rather gloomy with respect to how you posed your question,

unless, maybe, you address that "powerful woman" in yourself and act accordingly.

could also be the Yi telling you to be more like a #44 yourself in this situation (on what side of "uncontrollable power" do you want to be?)

(i am assuming you are a woman in an opposite-sex former marriage, but it would translate to a man also, everyone can channel his/her inner bitch).

as a writer and poet i have seen #44 uc come up in a positive sense for creative inspiration / finding your muse.

or let's take it from another angle:

you haven't been with this guy in 16 years, maybe its time to stop "marrying into the situation". what still keeps you attached? property? a sense of keeping your dignity and getting what's rightfully yours? maybe it is time to let it all go (even if it means some financial loss) and focus on what gives you a genuine sense of connection to creative and vital empowerment, as in "birthing your own children" (doing what makes you happy, writing poetry, pottery, I don't know, adopting a totally new perspective).

Well, and if the property in question is something your heart really clings to, and it is worth the fight, you might wanna put on your war paint, or, if he is just objectively so much more powerful, devise a trojan horse, that will get your armies behind his walls in disguise of a gift.

#44 for me, is also the power of widely creative, maybe even a little risky solutions you would have never thought of in your right mind.

#44 won't take you in your arms and soothe you when you drop your ice cream, it will challenge to walk back inside the shop and make sure you get an even bigger one for free. that's the gist, i believe.

please feel free to discard anything that doesn't resonate for you personally

best, jd