60.1.4.6 to 6

[Ni_ki_04]

hello everyone. I asked the iching about a problem with a neighbour acting really unfairly. I tried many ways with no solution yet. My question was “how can I make him stop doing what he keeps doing?”. I got 60.1.4.6 to 6. It seems to me that 60 describes the phases I’v been through. I tried to face him but always kept a comprehensive, fair attitude and limited my actions against him, also because I fear his reaction. But I’m suffering from this situation a lot. So I would see the last line as an input to play all my cards. Could this lead to conflict? Or is the conflict inside me, not being able to face him properly? Conflict is probably also what I fear the most in this situation and what stopped me from being bolder in my attitude until now. And I still would like to avoid it... I also often find myself wondering if I’m over sensitive about him disturbing me, but maybe Its just a way to deny the fact that the situation doesn’t change. I’d be very thankful to anyone who can give me his point of view.

 

[rosada]

Without knowing more about the situation it's hard to say how these lines fit with your question. The lines you got from 60 seem to suggest limiting your contact and speaking politely but firmly when you do have to interact with this person. The image for hex 6. tells us that when rights are agreed to at the beginning then there is no need for conflict - so it appears there needs to be some sort of discussion of rights and boundaries.

I don't see these hexagrams as referring to his point of view.

 

[moss elk]

My question was “how can I make him stop doing what he keeps doing?”. I got 60.1.4.6 to 6.

Who said you can get him to stop?

Care to tell us what the neighbor is doing that you feel angry about?
Give some details and it will help.

 

[Ni_ki_04]

Can I?

He’s doing noises all the time, especially at night, this makes it difficult to sleep too. I don’t know if I can make him stop, not even the owners of the building seem to be willing to do more than slightly reproach him also because talking to them he denied being responsible for the noises. I see not so many options left... I could call the officers, or try to talk to him again, or move somewhere else, but this is really a sad option cause I love my home and it’s difficult to find another one.

 

[Ni_ki_04]

Dear Rosada, thank you for your insight. I’ve added some details but in general this is the case: a situation in which he is acting as a bully while the owners are absent and not able to give help. I didn’t want to know his point of view but only how to stop him doing all kind of noises all the time during the night. Then I was asking to any forum users to give me their point of view. I’m sorry but my English is not so good.

 

[Ni_ki_04]

I deleted this post because I submitted two by mistake

 

[moss elk]

When I first saw this reading, I thought it as Limiting the Arguing. But on second thought, that may be the reverse of this reading.

Is it Arguing for Limitations/Regulations?

So, obvious questions:
Have you spoken at all directly to the man about this concern?

If you have not, and feel too timid to do so, have you considered writing him a respectful note explaining that your sleep is disturbed? (my friend who is a kung fu teacher had a horrible neighbor who left trash in the hallway, smoked cigarettes there, left obstacles in the walkway, and kept an unleashed pitbull dog on a shared back porch. He considered different options: notifying the landlord, confronting the neighbor, contacting police...etc. He decided to write a very polite and respectful note asking them to address the concerns. The neighbor found the note and encountered him after in the hallway.
Neighbor said, "so, my stuff is in your way and you want me to move it, huh?"
with a scowl on her face.
He responded. 'yes please, would you? It is affecting me in a negative way.'
Neighbor begrudgingly said, 'ok fine'.
He said 'thank you', genuinely.
The next day the she addressed the concerns. If he had spoken angrily to her, or demanding, or condecending, she surely would have reacted badly and told him to get stuffed.
But respect has a real power to it.
And it accomplish things sometimes.

And then there was my upstairs neighbor, a big fat guy, who liked to wake early and clean his apartment while blasting mariachi music and dancing!, waking me every time. I bought some inexpensive earplugs, and that worked too. :bows:

 

[rosada]

As I understand it, you live in an apartment building and someone who lives in the same building is making noise at night that disturbs your sleep. You have reported him to the building owners but they haven't been much help and the man denies making the noise. The hexagrams seem to encourage you to keep on protesting although it should be done in a calm way. As 6 talks about taking one's case to court perhaps this means you should continue to talk to the building owners. Perhaps call them - wake them up! - when he is making noises and say, "He's doing it again, could you please call him and ask him to stop?"

 

[Ni_ki_04]

Goodmorning, I really appreciate your advices. To answer to your questions: Some months ago I’ve tried speaking to him two times, quickly, meeting him in the stairs or knocking his door once. I was a little bit angry but calm and he looked annoyed, like he was listening to me only because the situation forced him to do so. Then, he changed his behaviour but only for a while. A third time I sent my boyfriend, who also politely asked him to stop. After that he complained to the owners about me! So I waited, and tried to tolerate the noise. Now I again find it hard to go on like this and I see no more the possibility for talking together. Rosada, it is like you described. Taking the case to court to me makes me think about calling the police. (I know the owners are not likely to do more for me.) But I’m afraid of this action. I asked if I should call the police and I got 4.3.4 , it’s not the first time I ask and I already got 4 unchanging. Looks like a firm “no”.Maybe a peaceful letter could really be a solution, so I asked iching and it answered: 20.1.3.4 to 13. Since it leads to 13, fellowship with men, could it mean this is a good option?20 and its changing lines aren’t very clear for me... I don’t understand if they’re saying the opposite: maybe should I avoid the letter because even if it’s a good advice, I already tried to communicate?Thank you again if you want to give me your take on this last casts.

 

[rosada]

Perhaps 4.3.4 > 50 is saying you don't know your rights or how to proceed and 50. is saying you could call the police to ask them what to do. There may be specific steps you should take, like documenting these incidents or writing him and your landlord a formal letter, maybe even with holding rent until the situation is resolved! But I don't see 4.3.4 > 50 as a "no".