Are we done now? and 3.1.4 > 45

[Lavalamp]

A relationship question, regarding one in which I was left pretty brutally hanging. I did have a dream last night where she said she was going to take my advice about how to better deal with things in the future. Wishful thinking perhaps, but anyway. I asked the oracle if we were done now, and I got 3 "Difficulty in the beginning" lines 1 & 4, changing to 45 "Gathering Together".

The thoughts of you experienced readers would be appreciated. Times have been kinda dark for me, so having someone else interpret seems a good idea. Thanks.

 

[dragona]

Wlcome to the club,
Not too experianced in divination myself, but to me it looks as if you are at the beguinning of things, feeling confused about what to do next and to be very carefull would be the smart thing.
But isn`t 4th line speaking to you?
4. The fourth SIX, divided, shows (its subject as a lady), the horses of whose chariot appear in retreat. She seeks, however, (the help of) him who seeks her to be his wife. Advance will be fortunate; all will turn out advantageously. Legge

 

[Lavalamp]

If she would meet or speak to me, the line might. But I'm getting the silent treatment, except in the dream. I am sensitive that way, but I know better than to treat such shimmers as gospel truth.

 

[dragona]

I feel you..something of a sort happened to me just less then a month ago..I get the immage that her carriage got stuck, too many horses in a crowd, perhaps too much on her sleeve right now?
If I understood correctly, she has some problems you advised her about - maybe the advice did not get accepted so well? Or you advised her on how to deal with your possible communication problems in the future?
However, 4th line is auspicious, it speaks of possible opportunity to contact..so maybe just wait a while, be prepared to act upon an opportunity.
And perhaps ask the question: What can I do to further our communication for the better?

 

[precision grace]

It does seem like 45 would indicate meeting after the initial difficulty. Perhaps try explaining to her while awake how you'd like her to handle things? You can't rely on dreams for waking communication ..

Interestingly, I cast a resultant 45 too when asking the same question (Are we done now) which could be about the actual relationship (which is non existent btw) or it could be about how I feel about the whole thing (as the whole thing exists only in my head). Si it's almost as the Yi is saying, this is what you will do if you don't want to be done with this.

Edit to add this:

An illustration why relying on dreams for useful information is pointless:
I just had a nap and during the dream I was having a conversation with a friend on the mobile phone. He was telling me how upset he was to find out I didn't get together with this guy I liked. He said I was good looking and young and shouldn't put myself on the shelf and then he tried to tell me what I should do to fix this situation but the line was bad and all I could hear is mumbling. I said to him - why don't you send me a text?! and he was upset with me like I was a bloody fool. (maybe you can't send texts in dreamtime?) In the end of even more agitated mumbling over the phone, he said something I did hear - 'wear one black and one red sock'. After that we hung up and I woke up shortly after.
Now, you tell me, what sensible ideas am I supposed to get out of this information?

 

[Lavalamp]

Well I did write her and say what I thought would have been a better way to end the relationship, to give someone you were close to and who loved you a sense of understanding and closure. But as the line indicates, she is the one who needs support all the time, and as soon as I needed help she just ran. Being imperfect I guess that kind of thing was inevitable sooner or later, but you don't expect someone you have loved and supported to just cut you off the moment you are hurting over something yourself.

Yeah Precisiongrace, I have done considerable work with dream analysis, and they can of course mean a lot of things, emotionally, psychologically... Or nothing. But sometimes they are whisperings, sometimes from people who love you too, like if your family members who have passed come and try to support you. And maybe even from this person since we were pretty connected for a while - but I can't count on that, and you sure can't sustain a relationship with only random impulses of the heart. Her potential as a person in great, but she just can't hold up her end. And it's sad, but I'm trying to digest it.

Sorry to be such a downer!

 

[precision grace]

Well I did write her and say what I thought would have been a better way to end the relationship, to give someone you were close to and who loved you a sense of understanding and closure. But as the line indicates, she is the one who needs support all the time, and as soon as I needed help she just ran. Being imperfect I guess that kind of thing was inevitable sooner or later, but you don't expect someone you have loved and supported to just cut you off the moment you are hurting over something yourself.

Yeah Precisiongrace, I have done considerable work with dream analysis, and they can of course mean a lot of things, emotionally, psychologically... Or nothing. But sometimes they are whisperings, sometimes from people who love you too, like if your family members who have passed come and try to support you. And maybe even from this person since we were pretty connected for a while - but I can't count on that, and you sure can't sustain a relationship with only random impulses of the heart. Her potential as a person in great, but she just can't hold up her end. And it's sad, but I'm trying to digest it.

Sorry to be such a downer!

I'm sorry you are in doldrums. But looking at your answer it looks like you may expect that this girl or the girl for you would have to be perfect. Not to mess up. Especially not when you need them. The thing is, we are all imperfect humans and we mess up all the time. Relationships are hard and complicated business in my experience and seem to require super human effort to keep going.

Lise says of 3.4
"Like driving a team of horses proposing marriage. To proceed is auspicious. There will be harvest.
If you want something, then go for it! Put your heart and soul into it. Its success depends on your motivation, dedication, all the powers you yourself put into it. "
this changes into 17 - follow without resistance.

It doesn't look like you are done with this girl yet, not according to the hexagram..

 

[dragona]

Again, seems very close to home here...and also to the note I sent, no reply...of course it makes you wonder the true nature of the person you love(d). Because, it is not just selfish, it is cruel.
In everything else, totaly agreed with PG and LiSe says, it is up to you-if you want it, go get it. Yi does indicate there is a good chance of sucess, but ONLY if you apply.
Her weakness may be your strenght and vice versa.

Btw, after writing here I went to bed last night thinking of your post and saying to myself "Let me dream of him and of how it will really be" tho I never dream on demand. Of the man in question, I only dreamed a few times and my dreams do predict sometimes even. OfThis time I dreamed of the man as we were together someplace in my town. The power of will....

 

[Lavalamp]

Reflecting, I thing the almost optimistic line indicates what the situation has always been between us, and would continue to be. My being the one wanting a long term committed relationship, and she needing support and care and no commitments. The problem is she never saw the relationship as being anything else, the deal was I take care of her, and my desire for commitment and teaming up was not something I could win her over to. I did get hex 44 "do not marry this woman" three times after the drastic ripping apart of the relationship.

After that, there have been a number of almost optimistic oracles, but none that indicate the fundamental dynamic of our relationship would ever change. Even if she became shaky and needed my help, it would be a one way street and I'm not built for the FWB thing. Life is too short, and the oracle advised me to stay open and let the universe come to me. And now from across the country there is someone interested in me, who is right there with me on every issue, which she who ripped my heart out was not. I also got a random bible passage that said if after harvest time a sheaf is left standing in the field, don't go back for it, it's for those less fortunate than you. This was a paradigm shift in thinking for me, that I am blessed and fortunate, shouldn''t be greedy, and she'll be a blessing for someone else. My lesson here has been learning to let go and make a space for the spirit and the universe to work in my life. This can be a challenge of course when one is in pain, but sometimes the course of personal transformation is like that I guess.

Thanks everyone. Namaste,

 

[Lavalamp]

PS I also got a reading that said it was not a time to mourn the dead. It's been long enough anyway now I think, to have one's life to have been turned upside down..... If she had said give me time I would have, but even that - nothing. So we move on, and hope that everyone learned something...