Competing relationship futures: 53.2.3>59, 34 unchanging

[pallasathena]

Six months ago, my partner of almost 7 years and I decided to separate, and 3 months ago I moved out on my own. We have the same vocation and still run some joint projects together, and have been talking besides that, and recently had cause to re-examine whether there was any hope of still having a romantic partnership or not. I asked the I Ching about my overall quality of life with two different versions of the future, and would love to hear some additional perspectives on the answers:

How would my overall quality of life be in the future if 'x' and I try to remain friends but don't try to be involved romantically anymore?

53.2.3>59

How would my overall quality of life be in the future if 'x' and I tried to get back together in a romantic relationship?

Hexagram 34 unchanging

Hexagram 53 is gradual progress, and line 2 suggests a temporary good connection within friendship, though I'm not sure if line 3 is also relevant since 2 is the prevailing line. 59 has long confused me, because I never know if the dissolution is more of the things you're asking about itself (i.e., even our friendship will dissolve after some time) or is more the boundaries and walls between people will dissolve and they will become closer.

Hexagram 34 I have little experience with. Seems to be associated with great power and energy. I can see how this is relevant in two ways - first, because we want to keep working together if at all possible and already have been talking about doing bigger projects together, and that seems like a primary strength of our relationship. We had already been moving towards being viewed as a kind of 'power couple' within our community. On another front, one of the biggest reasons we broke up was because of destructive fighting, so I wonder if this is perhaps pointing to that being a continuing issue if we were to get back together, the need to control great power between us.

I also don't know if there is any significance to one of the answers being a changing hexagram while the other is unchanging? Thanks for any input!

 

[pallasathena]

I would even just appreciate some other insights on how other people have experienced that relating hexagram, hexagram 59, playing out in their own lives, if it was more dissolving the connection itself or dissolving the barriers between them and another person. It seems from the writeups like it could be either of those results. Thanks for any input.

 

[kincadefoster]

59 is getting rid of old, making way for new. It's likely that your relationship would fail all over again for the same reasons.
From my experience, I think 34. man of stone represents putting on armor to protect and isolate from that which hurts you. Sorta like "be your own man"(or woman)
I don't think it's advising get back together...

 

[pallasathena]

Thanks for sharing your experience, kincadefoster. I do relate to your description of 34 - our destructive fighting was the main reason we broke up, and it felt very hurtful to me when it happened.

In real life looks like we're staying broken up too at this point. I hope this is leading to something better because it's so dispiriting to be alone after having spent that long with another person.