Don't know what to do with her.

[rhopie]

Hello Friends.

I am new her, and need desperate help for a relationship question. A while ago I met this stunning girl by pure coincidence during my bus trip back home. Only to find out that we were actually neighbors! We were both surprised and perplexed that we never saw each other before and there was a strong magnetic connection between us, almost telepathic/soulmate. Each and every time we saw each other, there was nothing more than sheer joy in exchange and having the feeling we met each other before, as if we already knew each other. Ofcource, this gave us both butterflies in our stomachs. And all of this started only since the beginning of this month!

The unfortunate part of this story, is that I was obliged due to work to leave and move to a town 40 km further away - since 2 days. Plus, I was in a destructive relationship in the past, having already had 2 "loves of my life", I am fully aware when someone "clicks". And that click came back with her! And for her, she broke up with a relationship only months ago which ofcource still haunt her today. Either way, we kinda find ourselfs in the same situation where our broken hearts linger in the past. And I can only feel now, that she is really bumbed, down, disappointing, maybe sad by loneliness and heartbreak (from previous relationship) that I went away. She puts herself through alot of strain by buckling down into work and hiding/shying away.

And right now, I don't know what to do with her! Though younger than me (with family obligations/student work) I told her she is more than welcome to come to my new place. I myself, will have the opportunity in the future to go up to my old place to, obviously see her aswel, but when and how, will always remain a struggle to decide for in the future.

So here is my question:
What am I supposed to do with her? (in a desperate plea, since i kinda miss her)
21.2.3 > 14

.2 Delicious and Tender"- When an obstruction is weak, it is easy to become carried away when removing it. Remember that beneath easy tasks, sometimes lurk much more difficult tasks. Be cautious of "biting off more than you can chew".

I can only imagine, that this must be me. Pulling my hair out, stressing about the matter when there is nothing to stress about. The situation itself became more complicated now that I have moved and has become biting off more than my brain can chew!

.3 "Difficult to Chew"- The task of removing an obstacle has fallen to someone who may lack sufficient power to be effective at this time. The problem persists. Failing to remove the problem leads to embarassment. However the course of action is still valid. Persistance is recommended.

I think this is her, I think she found herself in a difficult situation and lacks the power to do something about it.

14, boggles me. Can somebody explain? uch:


Background Castings for perspective.
My position: 2.2.3 > 46
Her position: 15.2.5.6 > 57
Future of our relationship: 37.2 9

Show me an image of her in relation to me:
51.4 > 24
--------
found from other threads for 51.4 > 24

He is 50 50 torn about what to do with you. Neither moving forward or retreating. Sounds like he isn't really sure what he wants. Like he is ambivalent, which means confused and suggests he does have feeling for you to me. 24 suggests a turning point here.

Hex 51.4 is about the sense of being thunderstruck in your heart by an emotional or life changing bolt from the blue upsetting your prior situation and lifestyle.

My heart goes out to her, wish I could be there for her

Earlier today, I ask what her feelings were for me/us (if I remember the question, don't count on it too much): 8.1 > 3



Thank you all, I look forward to your messages :bows: :bows:

 

[Tim K]

Hi rhopie, welcome to Hilary's place

What am I supposed to do with her? 21.2.3 > 14 [21.2 → 7.3 → 14]
21.2 It was an easy connection in the beginning. High on emotions, you lost some sense of reality.
21.3 But then you have to overcome some problems from the past. [Job responsibilities and break-ups].

14 says there is a potential in this relationship, if you invest the energy in it.
----
7.3 combined with your position 2.2.3 → 46 says that you are too passive in this. You should take the lead, you should bite through the old meat. But you are trying to do many things at once and this is holding you back.

2.2 You don't have any plans or some special purpose, just ready to receive whatever comes from the relationship.
2.3 Hints that you prefer to wait till the circumstances change. And I think that is the right thing here, to wait until you can return home.
----
Her position 15.2.5.6 → 57
She is just humble and also passive, going along the line of a least resistance[57].
She won't do anything drastic to be with you.

Future of our relationship: 37.2 → 9
Each keeping to himself, doing daily chores.

h9 - small restraint, yep the circumstances are blocking the progress for now.
----
Her feelings for me/us? 8.1 → 3
Open and sincere, she really looks forward for this union to blossom.


Conclusion: She waits for you to become a leader, and take the necessary steps in overcoming the obstacles.
There is no need to rush, she'll wait. Hmm 40km isn't that far away, on the other hand you've just met and the attraction isn't that strong enough. So the distance is the biggest factor I think.

 

[cornucopia63]

So here is my question:
What am I supposed to do with her? (in a desperate plea, since i kinda miss her)
21.2.3 > 14

It shows there is more to the situation than what it seems. You feel powerless in coming to grips with this matter and some old issue and might also have feelings of resentment. Something is in the way and keeping you both separated and unable to unite. Is someone already married? This is a civil marriage hexagram. Recognition and acceptance of the issues involved are the first steps toward initiating much needed reforms for you to have success and progess.

 

[rhopister]

Oh dear, made a terrible booboo with my accounts. It's still me, rhopie, but under a new name (im so bad with accounts, passwords, emails etc.) Excuse me

Right on then!
Thank you all for your input, it has been incredibly helpful. :bows: And I can say things have been developing better between us. We passed 2 days together, and simply put, we can't keep our eyes of each other with lots of gentle affection. I'm keeping this as easy and slow as possible as I admire and respect our relationship deeply.

But, there is a little but, with out guiding/leading her too much (being sensitive to her feelings). We both know we like each other alot, and there is a strong mutual respect to our closeness and privacy (which I like alot! I hate clingly girlfriends). She still is digesting from her recent break-up. That in itself, is something I understand well for I am have gone through the same thing. And the last thing I would want to do is muddle her heart even more with having me in the picture.

So, as a resort to clarification, I asked my good ol pall, iching what it made of it.

"Who does X see me for?"
8.1.6 > 42

8 = Union/Holding together with .1! Truth is Like a Full Earthen Bowl Couldn't ask for anything more positive!

But .6 .... I'm lost uch: Union without a head? This is negative right? What could this mean exactly? I have difficulty aligning the 6 with the overall picture as 42 symbolizes increase. Which, if I am right, is a good sign! I'm puzzled, hope it's not some form of rejection

Background Castings for perspective.
My position: 35.1.3.4.5 > 37
Her position: 29.3 48

Thank you and peace and love :bows:

 

[Tim K]

Castings are almost the same.
8.1 → 3 but now there is also 3.6 → 42.
She still sincerely wants a union, but
3.6 → 42 (Increasing), Legge:
Shows (its subject) with the horses of his chariot obliged to retreat, and weeping tears of blood in streams.

The previous break-up is a major issue.
Her position: 29.3 - 48, abyss in front, abyss behind. Stuck in the middle, same issue here.

My position: 35.1.3.4.5 > 37
35.1 restrained advance, yep.

21.3 → 30 (Shining), Richmond:
He bites dried meat and comes upon unpleasantness.
Some discomfort but no error.
Again this line, again the issue of past lover comes up.

30.4 → 22 (Adornment), Richmond:
Sudden its coming. Suddenly it dies away.
Trying to get it over with, maybe too quickly, anxious about it.

22.5 → 37 (Social Network), Wilhelm:
Grace in the hills and gardens.
The roll of silk is meager and small.
Humiliation, but in the end good fortune.
Continue with subtle steps, guiding her, supporting her, trying to replace depression with new joy of your company.

All is going rather well, slowly but 'no blame'.

 

[rhopister]

trying to replace depression with new joy of your company.

Ashteroid.

You have hit the nail on the head with that line. All I can do, and all I wish, choose to do, is be the best friend she could ask for to get through this terrible period. Her breakup story, mourning, is identical to what I experienced.

Thank you :bows:

 

[rhopister]

Hmmm... in terms of "picking up vibrations", I can't help but feel things have gone bland/sour. Very possible X taking a pessimistic path of thinking :/

Diagnosis of situation:
47.1.5 > 54

Any/what (are) possibility of us becoming bf and gf?
26.6 > 22

I understand the lines, but seeing 22 representing superficiality and 47.5 referring to severing a bond, i'm not all to keen about it if I have understood the lines well

Oh well

 

[diamanda]

Diagnosis of situation:
47.1.5 > 54
Deep depression, deep oppression, and going for second best.
She still loves the ex by the sound of this.

Any/what (are) possibility of us becoming bf and gf?
26.6 > 22
You probably mean 36.6 > 22 here.
She's waiting to get over her heartbreak, then all that's left between you will be politeness.

Sorry but that 8.1.6 > 42 doesn't bode well either.
42 in relationships usually plays out as someone using us to increase themselves, usually their ego.
I'd be very careful, in your position, in case she's taking advantage of your awe towards her.
It doesn't sound like a good bet to me to invest your time and affection... :-/

 

[rhopister]

Deep depression, check!

But I made a mistake, it's actually 26.2 > 22 (fiddly fingers). Would this change anything? :/

Well aware of 8.6, it's kinda left me... "worried"? Although I do know, and remember, we had some very genuine moments, with a flash of hope on my side that things would turn out better.

God, haven't we all had extreme depression/break ups, been there myself uch:

 

[diamanda]

26.2 > 22
The line says letting loose the cart, i.e. in the case of a couple, uncoupling.

Although I do know, and remember, we had some very genuine moments

That's the 8.
But because it changes with lines 1 and 6, it's as if it's saying "you've had 8 from a-z quickly".
So it was definitely genuine to begin with, but with 42 one is looking for the advantage.

For sure we've all had depressive heart-breaks, but there are degrees to that of course.
When we're too deeply in love with someone and we break up, nobody measures up - maybe you've been there yourself?
She sounds way too much in pain to be with you in any meaningful way - I really don't believe it's due to something you did or didn't do.

 

[rhopister]

Well said Diamanda!

And yes, the ironic part of this whole story, is, that after 2 years I JUST recently got over a heavy heavy heavy depression break up aswel. And to put the icing on the cake, from the things i've seen, heard, felt, and discretely peeked on her blog, she is going through an identical route like I did. And it's no coincidence that we bumped into each other for a reason! Hell, it's been a long time I actually felt something for someone. So.... either way, I just have my fingers crossed that I could atleast see her a little bit more often, even as a friend, it's been such a long time to find someone that I genuinely love talking to!

 

[rhopister]

Hello friends Happy new year!

I come back to this old thread because things have been developing. More like from a distance. And it's come to the point where certain msgs, and invitations (turned one, now she wants me to come to her bday party) from here I have led to become very nervous!! As stunning as she is, and saying that I mean alot to her. I am just plainly worried that I might find myself in a situation where I see her and can't approach her. I don't want to invest my time/energy into something where in the end there is no mutual part. And yeah, this is important to me, because I do like her a-lot!

So, here are the questions:

What's X's position in our relationship?
63.1 39

Ouch! uch: .1 Tail Dipping in Water - Don't let the obstacles distract you from what you sincerely want. Is this what I think it says? Obstruction + obstacles = far apart but "wanting" to see me?

In which direction are we heading?
49.1.2.6 44
I got the picture, but transformation towards what, don't understand :/

(shot in the dark question) How likely would she want me to be her boyfriend?
57.6 48

57.6 Sounds negative, either she is going back n forth about the idea, or its just not a good idea in itself.

Peace :bows: