Enormous Decision - 2 options

[ec456]

Hello - So I have posted to you guys before about my predicament. Trying to decide to go visit my current girlfriend in the UK or to break up the relationship. Many problems and fights - she doesn't even want to talk to me until the day I come- If I stay here there will be plenty of work to do with my start up company and friends but my heart keeps pulling me toward her. The trip would be on July 4.

I first asked what will happen if I give up on the trip and end the relationship.
I received 7.1 changing to 19.

I then asked if I pull it together and still go on the trip. I received 53.2.5.6 changing to 36.

Let me know what you guys think iching is trying to say to me here, thanks alot. I am really struggling with this decision..

 

[anemos]

I first asked what will happen if I give up on the trip and end the relationship.
I received 7.1 changing to 19.

sounds like Yi suggest to look at this decision more carefully. H19 sometimes its a window of opportunity that one might not want to miss- this is how it has play out for me and 7.1 asks for a plan made in a careful way.

another way to read it is taking charge on this situation between you two and cancel the trip /break up ... but my gut feeling doesn't support that version.

I then asked if I pull it together and still go on the trip. I received 53.2.5.6 changing to 36.

perhaps there is something to get from that trip. Can't tell if you can revive the relationship or not but overall seems a nice reading .

It seems you want to go, your gf also waits for you and i don't see I big warning not to go.

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[pocossin]

There is a third option. If you want this person in your life, make a marriage proposal and pay her airfare to come to you. If she will not accept this, she is unlikely to be impressed by your physical presence in the UK. My impression from 7.1 > 19 is that she will come if properly approached. 7.1 does not suggest immediate action on your part, while 19 does suggest a reconciliation. If such an offer fails, I think your pursuit is hopeless, and you should not sacrifice your business for it.

 

[Trojina]

Hello - So I have posted to you guys before about my predicament. Trying to decide to go visit my current girlfriend in the UK or to break up the relationship. Many problems and fights - she doesn't even want to talk to me until the day I come- If I stay here there will be plenty of work to do with my start up company and friends but my heart keeps pulling me toward her. The trip would be on July 4.

I first asked what will happen if I give up on the trip and end the relationship.
I received 7.1 changing to 19.

I then asked if I pull it together and still go on the trip. I received 53.2.5.6 changing to 36.

Let me know what you guys think iching is trying to say to me here, thanks alot. I am really struggling with this decision..

Seems you need to be clearer about your end goal. In 7.1 we can making a lot of effort, doing a lot, but it's not necessarily in alignment with what we actually want to happen. You need to try to visualise your end goal very clearly and make your decision in alignment with that. It sounds obvious but sometimes we don't. For example I recall struggling, plotting and planning to keep some work that actually I didn't even want when I had this line.

53.2.5.6>36 again I think you need to really try to realistically envisage this relationship as you want it to be, this life as you want it to be and ask yourself if it's possible. I don't think these answers clearly tell you which option is best....they just tell you to really look at where you think you are headed.

The change patterns here are yang 59 and yin 55. I think you have all the information you need to make a decision and you need to make it. 53.6 can indicate going beyond the concern entirely which might mean you just go beyond this anyway. The 36 there makes me wonder if you decide to go beyond it because it is actually wounding to you, hurtful.

I don't like that she says she won't speak to you till you arrive ...Hmmm I sure wouldn't be crossing the ocean to see someone who won't speak to me before I get there !


I have the feeling this is too costly for you. Your heart may be pulling you but do you really think if you go you will end up where you want to be in life.....can you see yourself being happy with her ?

It's over to you I'm afraid.

 

[Trojina]

Feedback ? What did you decide ?

 

[beatpoet]

I agree with Pocossin. You need to get more into generating other options. I would say it like this: your anxiety about the situation is limiting your field of vision and creating false urgency which is made clear by Yi's replies.


I first asked what will happen if I give up on the trip and end the relationship.
I received 7.1 changing to 19.

This is from Wilhelm about hex 7. I think it will help you:

An army is a mass that needs organization in order to become a fighting force. Without strict discipline nothing can be accomplished, but this discipline must not be achieved by force. It requires a strong man who captures the hearts of the people and awakens their enthusiasm. In order that he may develop his abilities he needs the complete confidence of his ruler, who must entrust him with full responsibility as long as the war lasts. But war is always a dangerous thing and brings with it destruction and devastation. Therefore it should not be resorted to rashly but, like a poisonous drug, should be used as a last recourse.

7.1>19 is more a snapshot of your view of the situation like "If I approach her, and I can't get her onboard now, then it's over." Or like your feelings about the situation: "I approached her and got shot down. She's not on for it. It's over."

Sometimes we ask a question without even believing in a positive reply. This may be that.

But the appearance of 7 itself begs questions. Are you approaching this relationship and therefore this woman like a war you need to win? If so, not especially romantic. She may feel she is a goal not a person and that is why she doesn't really want to talk until you get there. It has the energy of a showdown or power struggle. This mentality may be what is really throwing things off and why you are not getting anywhere.

I think this is why Pocossin is suggesting that a marriage proposal is the approach.

I then asked if I pull it together and still go on the trip. I received 53.2.5.6 changing to 36.

If you go, may be a long shot (36). Don't overwhelm her with your feelings (36) take things slow, don't force things. Look for small, gradual improvements (53). Be confident (upbeat) and focus on the positive aspects of your togetherness (2). Work slowly toward reconciliation (5) and define the higher purpose or greater purpose of your relationship... Like why are we together? Why do we want to be together? What are we hoping to accomplish? (6)

I think she wants to see how serious you are about making changes to make it work. That again why Pocossin is cutting right through it and saying propose though I would say get a better plan for that.

I would say best to go. Regretting is a waste of life and for a very finite amount of money, you will prevent a potential lifetime of costs in regret. Money isn't everything and peace of mind is far more valuable. Anyway seems unlikely that she will force you to spend unnecessarily or is being whimsical.

Both Yi's replies recommend a calm approach. Let let things cool or at least change the approach to something less desperate or intense.

Best of luck.

beatpoet

 

[Tim K]

Guys, look closely, 53.1 .5.6 leads to 36, but 53.2.5.6 leads to 46 Ascending, that's a big difference.

Hi ec456,
About your first reading 7.1 -> 19, I think it speaks about your start-up company, that you will be more needed here than in UK. That you will need to execute your plan, and be careful while your business is just developing.

And if the second reading was 53 -> 36, then it just confirms the first one. Darken your light, don't go yet, gradually the matters will improve. Maybe in a month or two, I think you will know when the time is right.