Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hi all,
I'm stuck in this sort of helpless loop with regards trying to find a long term partner. I have historically bad taste, i.e. people who don't want to settle down, or somehow it just doesn't work out, doesn't stick. It is extremely frustrating and am seeing a counsellor etc... to try and figure it out. But in the mean time I am just frustrated and somewhat despairing.
Anyway my first question was:
Ok so where should I be looking for a boyfriend:
25.1 - just be open and innocent and do the things you enjoy without searching as such
25.6 - step back, wait for things to come, don't push
Changing to 45 - I took this as socially, amongst people, at gatherings?
Ok, fine. So I am interested in a friend, he's not a close friend, but a friend and recently through strange circumstances we spent 3 days hanging out at a festival, all good vibes but not necessarily romantic. He's great but....he takes ages (days and days) to reply messages (this is to everyone not just me) and I find it extremely frustrating. But we're not involved so I shouldn't take it personally and also maybe it's a sign he's just not right for me. I really don't want to fall for/chase another non-available or reliable guy. But I do otherwise think he is super nice and considerate, it's literally just with text communication he's hopeless (and also doesn't tend to rsvp group stuff, just pitches up).
I asked:
Is x an appropriate long term partner for me:
28.1 - be cautious? be aware of what you're getting into??
28.3 - step back, stop suffocating him, do other things
Changing to 58 - and then slowly he will open up.
I am quite an impatient person...but I mean it's not like I message all the time. I asked if he was going to a group thing and whether he wanted to go sailing after...which he has expressed an interest in before. But maybe the message is leave him alone, he'll approach when he's ready. Do I just need to stop initiating any contact at all??! Or maybe yes I'm trying to force an unnatural association, so it's like what is the taoist way of dealing with this.
And then I asked about another friend who people think I'd go well with although am not attracted to him:
Would B be a better potential partner I should consider
37.4 - enriching the home
37.6 - good fortune
Changing to 49 - so maybe this is the better route? Radical change in my approach to this other person instead would enrich the home and bring good fortune??
Sigh. Any insights appreciated, so annoying the whole business and am for some reason feeling particularly frustrated by it at the moment.
Thanks
Lola
So maybe this is a better match??!
I'm stuck in this sort of helpless loop with regards trying to find a long term partner. I have historically bad taste, i.e. people who don't want to settle down, or somehow it just doesn't work out, doesn't stick. It is extremely frustrating and am seeing a counsellor etc... to try and figure it out. But in the mean time I am just frustrated and somewhat despairing.
Anyway my first question was:
Ok so where should I be looking for a boyfriend:
25.1 - just be open and innocent and do the things you enjoy without searching as such
25.6 - step back, wait for things to come, don't push
Changing to 45 - I took this as socially, amongst people, at gatherings?
Ok, fine. So I am interested in a friend, he's not a close friend, but a friend and recently through strange circumstances we spent 3 days hanging out at a festival, all good vibes but not necessarily romantic. He's great but....he takes ages (days and days) to reply messages (this is to everyone not just me) and I find it extremely frustrating. But we're not involved so I shouldn't take it personally and also maybe it's a sign he's just not right for me. I really don't want to fall for/chase another non-available or reliable guy. But I do otherwise think he is super nice and considerate, it's literally just with text communication he's hopeless (and also doesn't tend to rsvp group stuff, just pitches up).
I asked:
Is x an appropriate long term partner for me:
28.1 - be cautious? be aware of what you're getting into??
28.3 - step back, stop suffocating him, do other things
Changing to 58 - and then slowly he will open up.
I am quite an impatient person...but I mean it's not like I message all the time. I asked if he was going to a group thing and whether he wanted to go sailing after...which he has expressed an interest in before. But maybe the message is leave him alone, he'll approach when he's ready. Do I just need to stop initiating any contact at all??! Or maybe yes I'm trying to force an unnatural association, so it's like what is the taoist way of dealing with this.
And then I asked about another friend who people think I'd go well with although am not attracted to him:
Would B be a better potential partner I should consider
37.4 - enriching the home
37.6 - good fortune
Changing to 49 - so maybe this is the better route? Radical change in my approach to this other person instead would enrich the home and bring good fortune??
Sigh. Any insights appreciated, so annoying the whole business and am for some reason feeling particularly frustrated by it at the moment.
Thanks
Lola
So maybe this is a better match??!