Hexagram 45,2,4>29, is it largely positive?

[kiri]

So I took a small step by writing a sentence about my thoughts on psychopaths (not an accusatory one, but a vague one, yet to the point), where I know he can see it. I asked, how did he react to what I said? 45,2,4,>29.

45,2,4 indicates a good fortune; 29 indicates danger. Well, he logged off. Did I make a mistake?

I asked another question, more on semantics than anything. I asked, what did he _think_ of what I said? 39,2,6>57
looks like he feels obstructed and then went off (line 6) into his own world. 57 speaks of an influence.

 

[willowfox]

It would appear that your sentence was accepted for what it was and therefore and he has taken it to heart so to speak and is probably now digesting the snippet of information.

But, remember your last reading, in the beginning (2.1) there will be some ice around when you start discussing this story, nothing to worry about in the start but as you progress with your narrative so the ice will build up between you until you get an iceberg. So basically line 2.1 was saying okay write a few sentences but don't push your luck if you want him to remain as a friend.

 

[kiri]

Thanks willowfox; I couldn't resist writing something. It was like the time was ripe or something, that if I desisted, it would be not possible. Ya, so he's gone, probably went to digest the sentence, like you said. I mean, one who gets danger all the time becomes used to it. I am really not afraid of this "game" so to speak. I don't even truly mind losing him again if we are not meant to be- my agony regarding this is over.


Yet, I am quite afraid of spoiling what we have back again. He is back with me, but only through a delicate and informal medium, such as the internet, largely due to our being in different places. I am wary that he may disappear again and not show himself anymore. So I asked, how has what I said affected his level of affection towards me in the current time?
10,1,4,6>29
Danger again. Can i expect him to resume to normal, like tomorrow? or has the sentence changed our relationship forever, again?

I actually like the line on 10.
10.1 shows me a progress. And yes, we are not bound by obligations to each other. I like that he can go and i can go when ever we want.

10.4 I tread on the tiger tail again. What is new? except now I did it a bit less accusigly.
10.6 work is ended - what does this mean? I think it means I dont have to do anything else. Like the domino effect will now take care of itself.

i like that the lines all show good fortune, but the danger hex 29 lurks in the resulting hexagram.
i have a feeling this time round it is positive; is it right?

thanks once again

if it is negative, then this will probably be the last time i will bring it up again, insofar as my tolerance level for lies and ignorance can stay...

And yes, willowfox, thanks for the reminder about the thin ice. I went back to reread the other thread, and I do understand it now. if it builds up again, the ice will become an iceberg and the same scenario will return.. the dreaded tied up sack.

 

[kiri]

I also asked, why did he log off. I got 21.6>51
21 line 6 is really really ugly. i suppose he got a shock, and that he is deaf to warnings. So he went offline to show his displeasure. I really dont understand why the imagery of this is so drastic. Ears cut off, in a wooden cangue. How is it so bad for him? maybe he thought i was accusing him. The line also mentions that it results in misfortune, due to his obstinacy. but hex 51 definitely shows he got a shock, right?

 

[willowfox]

So I asked, how has what I said affected his level of affection towards me in the current time?
10,1,4,6>29

At the moment all seems well and if you act with carefulness then things will remain okay between you, so everything will depend upon your behaviour in this matter, if you go in with guns blazing then expect bad results to ensue but if you act with the utmost caution, then you won't go far wrong.
So, at the moment the water seems calm but obviously one has to becareful of what lies in its depths.

 

[willowfox]

Perhaps line 21.6 is talking about your behaviour? While Hex 51 said that he got a surprise call, guest or whatever.

 

[kiri]

I asked two more questions.
1. How does he think of her (the sociopath)? 47,5>40.

-- I feel that he thinks she is a good person, who is accused wrongly. is it right? when i "accused" her last year, he became even closer and more sympathetic towards her. This of course made her extremely gleeful.

2. Does he still love me? I got 38.5

-- who was the one who is sincere, me or him?
"Coming upon a sincere man, one fails to recognize him at first because of the
general estrangement. However, he bites his way through the wrappings that
are causing the separation. When such a companion thus reveals himself in
his true character, it is one's duty to go to meet him and to work with him."

So, this paints a picture on why he juggles 2 people who are seemingly at odds..

 

[kiri]

Perhaps line 21.6 is talking about your behaviour? While Hex 51 said that he got a surprise call, guest or whatever.

my behaviour - you mean me writing that was seen by him as crude?
he did not get a surprise call - i am sure his going offline was due to what i wrote, because it was an immediate reaction.

although I can see why I am deaf to warnings regarding this situation..... but i was really trying to warn him..

 

[rodaki]

hi kiri
I've followed your posts abt this issue and just wanted to offer a snippet of advice . . try to avoid making this new and delicate contact you have with your boyfriend revolve around old issues . . why not focus on what is positive rather than nagging thoughts about something else?
In other words, I think what Gene had mentioned abt disengaging also concerns your thoughts abt this matter not only the contact part. I'm just saying because 29 might be abt you going over and over the same poisonous issues . .
What if you asked Yi about how to avoid these thoughts that preoccupy you, or how can you protect your relationship from possible interference?

rodaki

 

[kiri]

"try to avoid making this new and delicate contact you have with your boyfriend revolve around old issues . . why not focus on what is positive rather than nagging thoughts about something else?"

Yes I agree... I really should. But one reason is because it is an ongoing issue. The psychopath is still still acting. She is and has not given up. If she has given up and moved on, so will I. But one main thing you guys have mentioned is to focus on what me and my bf have and ignore the 3rd party. Because that is exactly what he does. one reason for our breakup last year was because he did not like me bringing up 'old' issues and stuff about her. but I agree I am really neurotic about this. I dont like a psychopath in my midst, and I dont like it when there are liars who are not found out in my midst. She is still my bf's closest friend. I agree with Gene about disengaging. But it is really hard to do. It comes back in a flash of intense epiphany.

I have even spoken to a forensic psych about this, and she got it spot on. You are right about my asking the Yi about possible interference. It is way more constructive. But as I know, and have experienced, this person is not giving up. It is a game to her, and remember she has no conscience. it's all faked; I hate to see people, esp. my bf fall into her trap, because he is.

I will probably suspend it for now; I am not a fan of quarrel, but this 3rd party issue is an impediment to trust. If I were to be with him, I live in fear everyday he will one day betray me, even worse, unknowingly. See, you dont know how dangerous it is to have a conniving sociopath pulling the strings. She is very invested in me and my bf because, because we have a long history together, and she wants him, even though it is not, definitely not love.

 

[rodaki]

yes . . I see what you're saying . . but the thing is there's only so much you can do, so try to make the best with it instead of running away with things you cannot change for now
You are letting this get to you is what I'm saying . .

 

[willowfox]

1. How does he think of her (the sociopath)? 47,5>40.

He seems to see her as the victim who needs support and he also feels that if she has done wrong then whatever it was, is of no consequence.

2. Does he still love me? I got 38.5

Yes he does but the line advises you to go to him if you need him back, there has to be cooperation between you and this comes back to your behaviour yet again, Hex 10. The guy can become quite irate if you push him to it, so it suggests that you behave appropriately. Therefore, blowing his ear constantly about his friend the "shecat" will be counterproductive.

 

[kiri]

Willowfox, thanks. The thing is it is really not my fault; my bf thinks i am the crazy one and she is the victim. This is usually the result of a psychopath always claiming innocence and actually being the liar. I know I may seem like the one making him irate and being the one to cause trouble, but once you are in the situation you will know how frustrating it seems when everyone is against you when you did nothing wrong. I take it all of you here are lucky in that no psychopath has graced your life; mine? she is a close friend. And note that I dont call her 'psychopath' as an insult, due to my sense of denial or inner bitchiness of disarming a rival. I have lived with that concept of persecution for a long while; I know how its like for tables to be turned, having no one believe me; the single logical thing is that no, nothing's wrong, you're making a big deal.

But the thing with psychopaths and normal people is that normal people are good, so they think the other person is the same. but the psychopaths mind works differently. i have gotten into the mind of the psychopath, just to understand them; thus i know their inherent danger.

Rodaki,
you are right, this has gotten to me, but why shouldnt it? I dont think you will understand how it feels to have a true psychopath in your midst. I consider myself cursed in a way, because i chose her as my closest friend, yet lucky in a way, because i am privvy to information nobody knows.

psychopaths operate on a different level from normal humans.. I am really having more fun in this than be scared.. really. I may even consider forensics, because it is such a small, small area.. nobody knows whats happening, and i hate to see people persecuted when they are really innocent.
how the psychopath can turn it around to make them THE innocent party is exciting, especially if you are not the 'victim'.

 

[kiri]

This is an excerpt from what a forensic specialist has told me regarding my case. I think I would post it.


"Oh What a Web we weave, when first we practice to deceive" by Sir Walter Scott fits your friend to a t. You discovered her lies and manipulation, ask yourself how? What happened to wake you up to her deceptions? The more you push your boyfriend to "see" her as she is, the more resistance he will feel and the more vigorously will he defend her. So what to do as you stand by helplessly?

First of all, have trust in your boyfriend and back off. If he is as great a guy as you think, you don't have to do anything. His eyes will be opened in his own time. The problem with a chronic liar is that they lie rather than tell the truth when the truth would do them the most good. And the problem with one lie is that it necessitates more lies. Sooner or later the liar gets so tangled up in lying, that they can't stop. Then one lie too many brings them down, the complications of lying are very heavy. The liar can't remember what they said the first time and gets all tangled up. They have to move from victim to victim as one after the other these people are shocked by the discovery.

Surely you are not the only one that knows her for what she is? I seriously doubt you are the only one who sees her for what she is. People just don't tell you what they really think about her because you are/were her closest friend. What would you have said to them before your eyes got opened? You would have defended her vigorously.

Ask yourself the question, "What do I get out of the relationship with her? Why do I even have anything to do with her at all?" Psychopaths, sociopaths are charming aren't they? They slather us with words we want to hear. They complement us, they make us feel good, they justify things we do that we know are wrong. They never disagree with us, at least openly. They never tell someone anything that person doesn't want to hear. They always appear "good", they never display negative emotions. They appear too good to be true. They appear to be "just like us". They are experts at picking up subtle cues about our likes, dislikes, needs. But to sustain lies, they have to divide and conquer. In other words they have to separate us from others who might just have heard them say something contradictory to what they are telling us. Being chameleons, they change their attitude, their beliefs, their personalities to suit whomever they are with. For instance, to one person they say they hate football, to another they say they love football.

Your boyfriend needs to hear these contradictory statements from others.