Hexagram 62

[ellewoods]

Hey everyone.

I'll get right down to it and say I've been really lonely lately. I only have about 2 "close" friends besides my boyfriend and sister and many acquaintances. I go to a really large college, and ever since dropping out of my sorority last year I've come to realize how hard it is to really meet people and connect when everyone else is part of their sororities. My two best friends have been there since high school, and they are in the same sorority. So they have made deep friendships with so many other girls, and I feel like I am always the tag-a-long friend that gets invited places mostly because I have nothing else to do or no one else to really call. I have a few other friends but literally, ALL of them are in sororities and have all of their "best friends" and I am just that random girl on the side. It sounds extremely stupid, but until you've been in the spot you don't know how it can really hurt... It didn't used to bother me, but since I've been dating my boyfriend, I've met every single one of his friends (including girls) and he continuously asks me, "When are we going to hang out with more of your friends?" He doesn't even realize HE is becoming my best friend and I have no one really close enough to introduce him to..........

I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling.
Anyway, I asked the iching, "What must I do to make more close friendships?" and got Hexagram 62 unchanging. Which basically says I really can't do ANYTHING at this time.

Do yall have any tips on what I should maybe ask next? I used to cast readings all the time and realized the questions and way I would word things weren't correct.

Thanks, ELLE-WOODS

 

[bradford]

Which basically says I really can't do ANYTHING at this time.
Thanks, ELLE-WOODS

I don't think it says that.
It does recommend against being too ambitious or self-important, and maybe starting out as one among many.
If you're near a university there has to be something going on that attracts both you and likeminded people that you could meet, like a class in something that interests you, or a community project, or some communist conspiracy.

 

[tigerintheboat]

Small Birds

I'll get right down to it and say I've been really lonely lately. I go to a really large college, and ever since dropping out of my sorority last year I've come to realize how hard it is to really meet people...

You dropped out of the sorority for a reason...were you uncomfortable in that atmosphere?

It doesn't really matter why you did it, but now you have to seek something to augment your social life. It may not happen by accident. Yi suggests you need to take certain kind of safe actions.

It isn't hard to meet people at a large college...you just aren't doing the things needed to meet them. You might meet some in class, but if you are looking for a certain class of people, you have to go where they are. Large colleges have a great number of social organizations and clubs...just join some and go to some meetings. Find something you are interested and do it. At a large university there are over a thousand; even at smaller schools there are plenty to choose from.

What Yi says is Pretend you are a Small Bird. Small Birds go out and get what they need to survive and thrive, but they don't have grandiose ambitions to fly like an eagle. Go find some new people by being a part of something. You won't like them everyone you meet, but one by one, you will meet new people and form a network of relationships.

You do have to take action...just not wild or grandiose action. Small birds don't sit around waiting to be fed.

Tiger

 

[ginnie]

my boyfriend ... continuously asks me, "When are we going to hang out with more of your friends?"

I think you should come right out and tell him that you don't have a lot of close friends, that he is becoming your closest friend. Why not be honest with him? Anyway, many people do not have lots of friends.

'Thunder high on the mountain.
The superior man is judicious in his conduct;
In a time of modesty, he is especially reserved;
In a time of mourning, he is especially sad;
In a time of economy, he is especially frugal.
Improvement.
Keep to your course.
Take on small tasks
and shy away from large ones.
Listen to the skylark
who sings most sweetly as he begins his descent.
Very auspicious.'
-- Sam Reifler's I Ching

 

[gene]

It seems a little strange to me that he would even be asking about your friends. Why would that matter? But... hexagram 62 is about maintaining closeness with your "home base." In other words, stick to those you are close to. Others will come in time. But learn to socialize with the few friends you have, and just allow things to happen.

Gene