Inside his feelings 1.6 > 43

[Honey_1]

Hello to everybody
I made a reading about my lover's feelings towards me. The result is 1 changhing to 43. Our history started as a very passionate one, we have known each other for a long time. Although at the moment we are going through a difficult period due to work problems, he still says that he loves me.

Which are your insights?

Thank you very much for your ideas.

 

[eowyndernhelme]

Hello, Honey_1

I want to admit that I'm a novice at this, but as no one has answered you yet, I will give it a try.

First, I understand from others that much of the time the reading is about yourself even if you are particularly asking about another persons thoughts or feelings, and that Yi doesn't tend to give you much information about what is going on in another person's mind. So this reading may be more about how you feel.

There is a post from Hilary (the administrator of this site) that has helped me to form questions about my relationships that seem more answerable than those just asking what another is feeling:

Advice for relationship readings

Most people seem to get started with the Yijing by asking about a relationship. It's a good way to start: it's present, immediate and something you care about - when you ask these questions, you're really asking them. It's also potentially tricky, that mix of getting started with overwhelming emotio

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

.

But here goes with your question about your love's feelings toward you:

1 changing to 43 would be Hexagram 1.6>43.

Changing line 6 is "Arrogant dragon will have regrets."

This could mean that either you or your love may have taken on too much responsibility or is overly burdened by something. This could be the work problems you speak of, or something else that comes to mind for you.

Since you asked the question about your love's feelings, it could mean that your love is thinking that things have gotten too heavy and is now feeling regret about it.

It may also be a warning that your relationship has reached an overload point, and that you or your love might want to pull back a little (or a lot to ease things a bit and give the relationship time to strengthen before adding more weight to it.

Some people look at just the changing lines, but I like to also look at the resulting hexagram.

The resulting hexagram 43 is sometimes about asserting your right to be heard. What you want to say may be dangerous to your relationship, but truthfully how you feel or think. You may or may not want to express it depending on whether or not your love can handle it right now. This may be the background of the changing line issue.

There's a person on this site who always has a little disclaimer at the end of his interpretation: "or it may mean nothing like that at all for you." I'd like to adopt that phrase In the end only you can tell what the reading really means.

I hope someone less of a newbie than me bounces in here and has a better answer for you.

 

[Honey_1]

Thank you!
Your interpretation is impressive because it clearly underlines some issues I didn't mention directly.
I have indeed problems to be heard and it is because of this that I decided to take a step back during these days...things have become too heavy for me, and at the end of the day it's because of this situation I consulted the Yi.

 

[eowyndernhelme]

A humble thank you, I'm very glad if this helped.

 

[Honey_1]

More than you think. I was focusing on the wrong aspect of the situation and your interpretation of the changing line as the background of hex 43 (and my need to be heard) was inspiring. Because I'm quite sure that the line was me, not him. And that it was heavy for me, not for him.

I did another consultation asking what will happen if I go on keeping the distance, and the result is 59.1.2.3 > 37. Which at the end seems quite encouraging.

Which are your ideas?

 

[eowyndernhelme]

Hello again, Honey_1

From what I think you are saying, it seems at first you were concerned that, though your love told you that he still loved you, he may have not been entirely truthful. There seemed a worry that that perhaps the love was faded or gone and he was just being kind, or making it all up for whatever reason, or putting you off temporarily because he didn't want to deal with emotional issues at the moment because other issues were complicating things.

It sounds like you're saying that you may have come to the realization that there is something you wish to speak out to him about regarding your relationship, and that it is important to you that he hear it.

And maybe that you are now thinking that you are the one for whom the relationship has become heavy and that he may not feel the same way. I don't know if you are also saying that you believe you are the one with regrets, and if so, what those regrets might be.

I am very new at this, so it's hard for me to offer ideas about what someone else's readings mean. It's also hard for me as an outsider to understand what may be going on in another's life, and you are entitled to your privacy.

From what little I know about Hilary's site here, it's customary for the person asking for help with a casting to include what they think their own reading means to them first. The exact same reading can mean very different things, as I have already found out in my own small personal experiences with Yi. You are foremost the one who knows best about your situation.

So I'm hoping you will offer a little about what 59.1.2.3>37 means to your question:

"what will happen if I go on keeping the distance"

And also what you mean when you say it looks encouraging at the end. Do you mean Hexagram 37, People in the Home? Or the parts about Dispersing? And I want to insert a reminder that the first reading Yi gave you is still valid. I hope you re-read it to keep that cast in mind as well.

If you could add some more about what you think the latest reading means to your situation, I would be happy to add my newbie thoughts about it.

And I would be even happier if someone around here with more experience could hop in with their thoughts as well

--Eowyn "I am only an egg" Dernhelme

 

[Honey_1]

Hello again, Honey_1

From what I think you are saying, it seems at first you were concerned that, though your love told you that he still loved you, he may have not been entirely truthful. There seemed a worry that that perhaps the love was faded or gone and he was just being kind, or making it all up for whatever reason, or putting you off temporarily because he didn't want to deal with emotional issues at the moment because other issues were complicating things.

It sounds like you're saying that you may have come to the realization that there is something you wish to speak out to him about regarding your relationship, and that it is important to you that he hear it.

And maybe that you are now thinking that you are the one for whom the relationship has become heavy and that he may not feel the same way. I don't know if you are also saying that you believe you are the one with regrets, and if so, what those regrets might be.

I am very new at this, so it's hard for me to offer ideas about what someone else's readings mean. It's also hard for me as an outsider to understand what may be going on in another's life, and you are entitled to your privacy.

From what little I know about Hilary's site here, it's customary for the person asking for help with a casting to include what they think their own reading means to them first. The exact same reading can mean very different things, as I have already found out in my own small personal experiences with Yi. You are foremost the one who knows best about your situation.

So I'm hoping you will offer a little about what 59.1.2.3>37 means to your question:

"what will happen if I go on keeping the distance"

And also what you mean when you say it looks encouraging at the end. Do you mean Hexagram 37, People in the Home? Or the parts about Dispersing? And I want to insert a reminder that the first reading Yi gave you is still valid. I hope you re-read it to keep that cast in mind as well.

If you could add some more about what you think the latest reading means to your situation, I would be happy to add my newbie thoughts about it.

And I would be even happier if someone around here with more experience ould hop in with their thoughts as well

--Eowyn "I am only an egg" Dernhelme

You are absolutely right, I'm sorry...I'm new and very bad in describing situations.

About our previous reading...you are right. I started asking Yi about my lover's feelings, but at the end the answer I got and your interpretation helped me to understand more deeply the situation.

At the moment I'm taking a step back because the situation was somehow heavy for me (I was the one who had decided it), so I asked to the Yi whether this decision would be helpful to clear all the questions.

I said that it was an encouraging reading because # 59 (dispersing) talks about removing all that was holding back (in my idea negative feelings, burdens). All the three changing lines (in my opinion) share a common point of view and are about dealing with others, opening to the others and putting aside selfishness.

#37 is in this context positive too, because it talks about "family", and somehow "correct relationships". I know that it is not literal, but considering the situation somehow yes.

So my interpretation is that this step back could help relationship to find a new equilibrium, removing what's holding back. But these are my personal thoughts and I'm the one who is involved...

 

[eowyndernhelme]

Hi, Honey_1

Some of this is after reading your reply to my own situation (around the witching hour, little sleep; think we're in different time zones, so please keep that in mind )

I know what you mean by your last statement. I too find it difficult to interpret my own readings when they are deeply important to me.

And no, I don't think you're bad at describing your situation. To me, it seems you are just keeping as private as you can, as you should.

And I am new to Yi as well, so there

Keeping in mind the first reading may indicate your relationship is approaching a pitch where it might stall out and crash, I'm thinking that your leveling out a bit may have been the right thing to do to save it.

In your first post you mentioned that your relationship started passionately, and also that you've known each other for a long time. I don't know if that time is referencing decades, years or months. I think that one's measure of time depends a lot on how old one is.

Forgive me for being blunt, but I'm going to assume that by passionately you mean sexually, which is how many relationships start, with that flame. Then after time most (well, at least in my experience) relations either turn into a more mature love where the flame lowers and spreads out and deeper feelings well up (hmm... eros, storge, philia and agape, but what name for my love of Capn Crunch Cereal ) or else the passion changes to ennui, or badly into dislike.

Sometimes one or both of the parties think passion is the same as deep love, so when the passion settles down they think the love is over. Or sometimes when things settle one or both can see more clearly that, even though the deeper love is there, their differences can't be bridged.

I know I'm going off base a little here, so I'll stop with all that, but I'm going to not-really-ask a couple of questions that you can answer in your own mind as needed.

Your question for Yi was "what will happen if I go on keeping the distance" (and for myself I think you interpreted the answer on your own just fine).

Hex 59 Dispersing:

When I read the hexagram 59 Dispersing, I think of sitting quietly, taking a deep breath and clearing my mind. I breathe and pretend that nothing really matters, try to empty my self, and do that until I believe it (which sometimes takes a really long time )

Line 1 is, in Halary's translation:

"Rescuing with a horse’s strength. Good fortune."

Someone or something, from outside or from within yourself, is helping you through this time? If you're lucky enough to have a literal horse, a good ride always helps.

Line 2 is:

"Dispersing, flee to your support. Regrets vanish."

This sounds like you may have a support system already in place, family or friends or something you do that you can fall back on, so maybe the dispersing is easier than it would be otherwise?

Line 3 is:

"Dispersing your self Without regrets."

Hilary says that here you might "enter into a larger self and deeper truth, one where your independence and what you ‘stand for’ are no longer so important." Only you know if this relationship is worth giving up some of your independence or "self." Sometimes it isn't. However this line does say "without regrets."

In all those lines, you are right, good fortune and no regrets.

Does the thing you may want to say to your love have to do with standing up for yourself? It might not, but just a thought I had. Is the thing you feel compelled to say important enough to possibly cause you or he to move on from the relationship? It might or might not, only you can say.

I'm actually quite interested in the resulting Hexagram 37 People in the Home. You say you think it's probably not literal, but personally I like to start with the literal and move out from there until it makes better sense. So if it works as a literal, in my mind, it is.

Some people think the resulting hexagram is the future, other people I've read say it's only the changing lines that matter, and other's I've read say the resulting is what's going on in the background. For myself, I tend to the latter because otherwise for me a lot of my readings wouldn't make sense, but any of those are valid ideas and only you would know for yourself.

I read that Hilary says the picto of the word "home" shows a pig under a roof. I don't know enough about the language to be sure, but she has studied yijing for a long time and I think she would know.

Another interpreter with her own site, LiSe, says this about Hexagram 37:

"... Love is not strong enough to keep them together. But the pig they raise together, the farm they run, the skills they all bring in [does]. When surviving is tough, families are strong..."

So I was wondering if you feel like your love is your family (you haven't spoken of children), part of the others of your family (you said you've known him for a long time, but time is relative) or if that hexagram might be referring to close people that you are able to come together with to help you during this time.

I also wanted to say -- and I may be completely wrong, so please don't take umbrage -- that sometimes reading your words makes me think you may not be entirely averse to moving on to something else.

And I don't think any of this is a reflection of the future. I've read some theories that say the future is fixed, but I'm in the camp of the future being mutable.

Anyway, even if the above is totally not pertinent to your situation, I wanted to say thank you for helping me with my issue on the other thread. And please update as you can.

bfn... dang it, enough, I'm just hitting the post button

 

[Honey_1]

Hi, Honey_1

Some of this is after reading your reply to my own situation (around the witching hour, little sleep; think we're in different time zones, so please keep that in mind )

I know what you mean by your last statement. I too find it difficult to interpret my own readings when they are deeply important to me.

And no, I don't think you're bad at describing your situation. To me, it seems you are just keeping as private as you can, as you should.

And I am new to Yi as well, so there

Keeping in mind the first reading may indicate your relationship is approaching a pitch where it might stall out and crash, I'm thinking that your leveling out a bit may have been the right thing to do to save it.

In your first post you mentioned that your relationship started passionately, and also that you've known each other for a long time. I don't know if that time is referencing decades, years or months. I think that one's measure of time depends a lot on how old one is.

Forgive me for being blunt, but I'm going to assume that by passionately you mean sexually, which is how many relationships start, with that flame. Then after time most (well, at least in my experience) relations either turn into a more mature love where the flame lowers and spreads out and deeper feelings well up (hmm... eros, storge, philia and agape, but what name for my love of Capn Crunch Cereal ) or else the passion changes to ennui, or badly into dislike.

Sometimes one or both of the parties think passion is the same as deep love, so when the passion settles down they think the love is over. Or sometimes when things settle one or both can see more clearly that, even though the deeper love is there, their differences can't be bridged.

I know I'm going off base a little here, so I'll stop with all that, but I'm going to not-really-ask a couple of questions that you can answer in your own mind as needed.

Your question for Yi was "what will happen if I go on keeping the distance" (and for myself I think you interpreted the answer on your own just fine).

Hex 59 Dispersing:

When I read the hexagram 59 Dispersing, I think of sitting quietly, taking a deep breath and clearing my mind. I breathe and pretend that nothing really matters, try to empty my self, and do that until I believe it (which sometimes takes a really long time )

Line 1 is, in Halary's translation:

"Rescuing with a horse’s strength. Good fortune."

Someone or something, from outside or from within yourself, is helping you through this time? If you're lucky enough to have a literal horse, a good ride always helps.

Line 2 is:

"Dispersing, flee to your support. Regrets vanish."

This sounds like you may have a support system already in place, family or friends or something you do that you can fall back on, so maybe the dispersing is easier than it would be otherwise?

Line 3 is:

"Dispersing your self Without regrets."

Hilary says that here you might "enter into a larger self and deeper truth, one where your independence and what you ‘stand for’ are no longer so important." Only you know if this relationship is worth giving up some of your independence or "self." Sometimes it isn't. However this line does say "without regrets."

In all those lines, you are right, good fortune and no regrets.

Does the thing you may want to say to your love have to do with standing up for yourself? It might not, but just a thought I had. Is the thing you feel compelled to say important enough to possibly cause you or he to move on from the relationship? It might or might not, only you can say.

I'm actually quite interested in the resulting Hexagram 37 People in the Home. You say you think it's probably not literal, but personally I like to start with the literal and move out from there until it makes better sense. So if it works as a literal, in my mind, it is.

Some people think the resulting hexagram is the future, other people I've read say it's only the changing lines that matter, and other's I've read say the resulting is what's going on in the background. For myself, I tend to the latter because otherwise for me a lot of my readings wouldn't make sense, but any of those are valid ideas and only you would know for yourself.

I read that Hilary says the picto of the word "home" shows a pig under a roof. I don't know enough about the language to be sure, but she has studied yijing for a long time and I think she would know.

Another interpreter with her own site, LiSe, says this about Hexagram 37:

"... Love is not strong enough to keep them together. But the pig they raise together, the farm they run, the skills they all bring in [does]. When surviving is tough, families are strong..."

So I was wondering if you feel like your love is your family (you haven't spoken of children), part of the others of your family (you said you've known him for a long time, but time is relative) or if that hexagram might be referring to close people that you are able to come together with to help you during this time.

I also wanted to say -- and I may be completely wrong, so please don't take umbrage -- that sometimes reading your words makes me think you may not be entirely averse to moving on to something else.

And I don't think any of this is a reflection of the future. I've read some theories that say the future is fixed, but I'm in the camp of the future being mutable.

Anyway, even if the above is totally not pertinent to your situation, I wanted to say thank you for helping me with my issue on the other thread. And please update as you can.

bfn... dang it, enough, I'm just hitting the post button

Dear Eowynundernhelme
Just a quick update about my situation, because you helped me a lot with your readings.

We finally got together again. I was the one who contacted him, but he was looking forward to it. The "burden" we were talking about were some heavy family issues who made him (in his own words) get crazy and, at the end of the day, that period was useful for me to recover and to get on my feet...and during that period I had family and friends to support me. So this part of your interpretation was fine too.
He is a very independent person and when he has working or family issues is prone to close himself, not to share his feelings.

What about your previous cast?

 

[eowyndernhelme]

Hello, honey_1:

I am so very glad that things are going well for you. I do hope it will continue that way.

The time I had the arrogant dragon reading, turned out in retrospect it was referring to me. I was the dragon. Too full of myself. I am so shy in person that I could never have imagined this, but eventually it was made clear that I should back off, not be so bossy with the advice, and let the other person (not a romantic relationship, but a relationship still) act on their own, and that my role was just to be there to offer a shoulder and a good word. That person acted in a completely new direction from what I thought should be done, yet it has worked out just right.

Two people getting the same reading, well, it can mean something very different and personal to each. Sometimes we are too close to the question to analyze the answer objectively (which is why it's good to get the opinion of others) yet ultimately the readings are for you and no one else.

I hope you keep up with the Yijing. I will admit I was a complete skeptic at first and had to do my own "field testing" to become more confident in it. Now it has become a good and helpful tool for me.

Please check in when you want or need to; would like to know how you are doing from time to time.

--Pam