"my mother" 63.2.3.4.5.6 to 38

[redpanda82]

I asked, simply, my mother. Like many, it's a fundamental, unresolved relationship. I feel stuck between feeling like I am her- and working very hard not to be. I know in some ways both are true. Feels like too much background to go into but what prompted the question was that I threw my back out this weekend- first time ever- and it reminded so clearly of (I think) the first time that happened to my mother, when she was probably a little older than me. Sometimes I feel like I've made peace with relationship, other times I think I'm just not dealing and sometimes it feels like my body reminds me that I am connected to her, like it or not.

For a little more insight, Recently we really have not been close and I feel like over basically stopped trying. I have tried lots of things over the years and eventually realized she is who she is. She gave me so much as a kid, but the older I got, the harder it was to have an authentic relationship. Over the last few years, I've been worried about her memory and frustrated by my lack of options to get her to try to look into it or take care of it. We are in different cities so the distance is both emotional and physical (tho I did try to facilitate them moving closer to me and my sister a few years ago until I realized they were much more comfortable fantasizing about it than actually doing it).

Anyway, that's probably way too much information. But I honestly am not even sure what to make of this reading. New to this. Never had that many changing lines. I do know I'm very conflicted about whether I should just make peace or do more to heal the relationship.

 

[rosada]

Perhaps you are being advised to think of your relationship with her now as being more like one with a 38. sister? That is, recognize that you can agree on somethings but also recognize you are no longer supposed to be as tightly aligned as you were as a child, you have separate interests and goals, and that's as it should be?

 

[becalm]

You've already gone as far as you can go (Hex 63), as the relationship is, and because of this the relationship is one of Estrangement(Hex 38).
However Hex 63 doesn't say endgame, it's just suggesting that the ways you've tried to have a relationship with you mother hasn't worked so now you've no idea which way to go next.
Hurt backs, metaphysically, can suggest overburdened or holding back in some way.

 

[redpanda82]

Thank you. Both of those ring true.