Never More Baffled: Hexagram 2.6 to Hexagram 23

[arabella]

I asked what I needed to know about a guy who wants to expand a relationship with me and received Hexagram 2.6 becoming Hexagram 23. I am planning to go abroad and he wants to meet me over there. This is quite different from anything we've ever done. I looked in the archives for anything on this line -- as it doesn't ring a lot of bells for me -- and found this enormous thread I had on the same line. And, frankly, there was nothing conclusive in that thread that will tell me what 2.6 may be in any definitive sense.

Plus, this is such a completely different situation. In that thread there were heavy implications [on the part of someone else who i later found dislikes me] that he was otherwise involved. He wasn't as it turned out, but in the thread I was pretty much agonising how to view the thing.

In this thread, there's no doubt who he thinks he's involved with. I'm just trying to decide whether to leave myself open for this -- or not. So I asked what I need to know in the situation.

This trip is essential for me to do for business. As Trojan suggested I should ages ago, I laid it all on the line with this guy about my priorities in life, what I intend and that my only hesitation in leaving where I am is that I have some family there. I thought it might end our relationship right there, with the news I am leaving, but it didn't. He thought about it a while and said he wants to go along on this adventure and is open for a new future, because we are in exactly the same position and he has to resolve very similar issues in life that i do.

The whole time I was explaining my feelings, he was just nodding and saying, "hear, hear" because he understands precisely what issues I have to address -- he has the identical ones. This is not the world's most romantic thing. It is semi-practical and we've been friends for a long while. So what the hey is 2.6 in such a situation and where does 23 come in and how come this guy wants to travel with me in such a circumstance as this? He is very conservative in many ways and I can't believe he has asked to join me at all.

Just had a thought as I'm about to close this -- how likely could it be that 2.6 is somebody having a battle with their own emotions?

 

[precision grace]

Arabella, I think it is saying that there will be a battle for power and the 23 is about splitting apart as you know. Sounds like he wants to wear the pants in the relationship and the question is - are you happy to let him?

 

[arabella]

Arabella, I think it is saying that there will be a battle for power and the 23 is about splitting apart as you know. Sounds like he wants to wear the pants in the relationship and the question is - are you happy to let him?

I see exactly where you get this PG, with the black and yellow blood pouring out, etc. But what is happening just now is actually the opposite of that. In fact, my saying, well I'm making a move, appears to be what inspired him -- and inspired him to do something I'd never have dreamed of. He's asking me to show him where I've lived in France, travel around. [I love the place, unfortunately speak French like rubbish or I'd be there still.]

This request of his to go along came just after I'd laid things flat out with him [a bit out of necessity] because he has seemed ambivalent a long while, and I was fed up with it but wanted to say goodbye anyway. This response is the opposite of what i thought would happen because he's just been stuck in grieving ever since I've known him. He had gone away to the sun in late December, said he was feeling depressed and thought of moving to the Caribbean. Has just gotten back looking very cheerful and here we are. I don't know what the make of it so thought I'd ask the Yi -- what am I not seeing, what do i need to know?

Frankly, I know zilch meanings for 2.6 that make any real sense to me or ring true. Hmmmmmmm.

By the way, if he's volunteering to be in charge of something that's fine. Especially finances where he is just plain brilliant and i am the pits. If he wants to be in charge of ME this is another story. I'm a grownup.

 

[precision grace]

Hi. Well yeah, that all sounds positive, I was just commenting on Yi's answer as it seems to address your question "what I needed to know about a guy who wants to expand a relationship with me".

I mean 2.6 sort of implies there won't be regression but that there won't be progress either. I really hope that's not the case because you seem very keen on this guy even though it seems like getting even to this point hasn't been smooth sailing.

Maybe you should also ask what attitude towards him would be best for you? Because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what his deal is exactly, what matters is that you enjoy yourself with or without his company, I'd have thought.

If i remember correctly, your interactions with this guy have always been like..it looks like things would happen, but then he starts being weird and things don't happen. So this might be just another one of those.
However, I really like Lise's take on 2.6 and maybe that's what it is - advice to you:
"Not accepting fate means one brings about a life full of difficulties. One does not only fight what happens, but more than anything else one fights one's own soul. Accept life the way it is and cherish it, then any life will be a good life. Make clear choices: do - with joy, or choose not to do - with joy."

 

[arabella]

However, I really like Lise's take on 2.6 and maybe that's what it is - advice to you:
"Not accepting fate means one brings about a life full of difficulties. One does not only fight what happens, but more than anything else one fights one's own soul. Accept life the way it is and cherish it, then any life will be a good life. Make clear choices: do - with joy, or choose not to do - with joy."

Yes, that quote struck me as well. I think it would suit him to be honest. He has been fighting himself, his own soul, for a long while -- in relation to this and other things. I think that's what all the start and stop business was about. After a certain point last year I just left him to it because it was going to take what it took for him to recuperate [if he ever did] and I was feeling that if life wasn't "with joy" being around him then he could go his way and I'd go mine because I wanted the "joy." Now he seems like he's picked up some joy from someplace. I guess we'll see.

It certainly doesn't make or break my life -- but it may make or break his -- is the way I see it.

 

[precision grace]

I think that quote is for you tbh.

 

[arabella]

I think that quote is for you tbh.

I did resign from this and found I was recontacted when he got back from the beach a couple months later. I didn't take it very seriously for all the reasons you mention, but then explained that I was going and said goodbye. So now he wants to meet over there. So I'm not sure what LiSe's 2.6 explanation would represent for me? Last year, would have made perfect sense. Eight or so months later, he's my friend and he's welcome to come along -- but I don't need him to and will have fun with or without him. In other words -- this one is purely his idea. I just want to know why his ideas seemed to have changed from what they were.

The other thing is, the past sort of jagged participation he had before won't work anymore. Because i'm taking my own path and I won't be here waiting to see what he wants to do. As of the past several months, that is his problem. Although I should say, I'm not doing what I'm doing in reaction to him -- thoughts of him weren't part of the decisions, it was a practical decision.

And meanwhile the path he chose -- isolation on a mountain - isn't suiting him at all he says. Also his problem -- but at least he knows he made a mistake and has said so.

 

[arabella]

In all, I think I never solved the mystery of hex 2.6 and the full range of its meanings. I think the dragons fighting in the wild is obvious that there is a struggle. But it's not obvious to me in the least what the struggle is about. Now in this situation I am not struggling for anything anymore. I don't really care simply because I don't want anything that isn't ear-marked for me. At this point, the whole thing takes a bit of convincing due to counseling that has put me beyond any disturbing and not-for-real influences.

 

[arabella]

OK, so i've taken PG's suggestion of another question, putting Hex 2.6 aside -- AGAIN -- just as I had to last time.

I asked what is the best way for me to view this reacquaintance he is suggesting:

Hexagram 29.2 becoming Hexagram 8. From experience that says we are flowing throught this canyon, riding on the fluid situation, as on water. Starts out trickling and builds from there. At least, that is how this has played out in other situations. My feelings are definitely to a trickle at the moment. My question is whether there's enough potential to warrant building this up at all, or just leave it where it was. This seems to say, a step at a time and reassess. Which is kind of what I'm doing with these questions.

 

[Trojina]

I see 2.6 as you cannot be open to everlasting possibilities...I get that idea from Hialrys book....i think


hex 2 is open/receptive...but it reaches its limit in line 6. sometimes it good to have all options open but other times it drains your blood away as you struggle with choices...or he does

staring at the fruit on the tree...not wanting to pick one because then you can't have the other one, unable to choose...in the end starving because while you were wanting to keep the choice open as to which fruit, it withered away on the tree

not a perfect analogy but you get the idea.....choosing one thing excludes another so people may want to always remain in the realm of untried possibility...but it doesn't work here





perhaps

how it applies i don't know

 

[arabella]

I see 2.6 as you cannot be open to everlasting possibilities...I get that idea from Hialrys book....i think


hex 2 is open/receptive...but it reaches its limit in line 6. sometimes it good to have all options open but other times it drains your blood away as you struggle with choices...or he does

staring at the fruit on the tree...not wanting to pick one because then you can't have the other one, unable to choose...in the end starving because while you were wanting to keep the choice open as to which fruit, it withered away on the tree

not a perfect analogy but you get the idea.....choosing one thing excludes another so people may want to always remain in the realm of untried possibility...but it doesn't work here





perhaps

how it applies i don't know

This rings true. This is the agonising that is going on -- between being stuck and moving forward when you're not sure. Now it's pick or forget it because I've put my cards on the table and said -- bye bye. This is exactly the feeling that I have about it. He regrets the untried possibility but is afraid if he embraces anything new he gives up the memories. But sitting on that hill looking down on a graveyard he's pretty frustrated too.

My thought is to get on with my own stuff, I have plenty to do. Even if he shows up I'm not that sure how I'll feel about it. The counselor who brought me out of the muck and mire last year [who is a miracle guy BTW] has suggested that this man isn't entirely confused about what he'd like -- he's just not sure after so many years of an easy, effortless marriage how to rise to the occasion of a woman who needs to find out who he is. So he hesitates. The suggestion made to me was to make myself clear and leave him with that. And I did. This is the result. Apparently he wants to come along and be part of it rather than be left here in the past. He literally said, "What am I giving up here if I leave? Nothing." This is new.

I guess we'll see how it goes. Thanks all, and especially Trojan and Rodaki, who stuck in through three or more years of this evolution. This is the point where something works -- or doesn't. The thing makes sense and picks up -- or not. I'm ready for either which is a relief that I know I can be happy either way.

 

[dragona]

Hmmm...a thought if I may.... I think it is all about stripping the situation to the bare essentials for you (hex 23). What it is about, what that means for the both of you. Wether it is the same thing you want in order to stick together. Maybe that is what`s the dragon struggle about, mixing blood in the open...maybe the trip will turn out to be about being receptive of two energies colliding in order to enter a new begining of hex 3?

 

[arabella]

Hmmm...a thought if I may.... I think it is all about stripping the situation to the bare essentials for you (hex 23). What it is about, what that means for the both of you. Wether it is the same thing you want in order to stick together. Maybe that is what`s the dragon struggle about, mixing blood in the open...maybe the trip will turn out to be about being receptive of two energies colliding in order to enter a new begining of hex 3?

Yes, this could be the result. Because we're not talking about a petty person here. If he's made a declaration that he wants to come along on this, he will do it full force as is his way. Underneath all the hesitation he is a Taurus with a huge presence once he's underway. And once they are involved, from my experience anyway, they are unstoppable. It's the effort for them of getting moving that is the battle really. Once on a path, they are inexorable. So it could be great fun, as you've said. And it will be a good friend along on what for me is a difficult journey -- closing up my past. Closing up the past and starting new is what this trip will be about for both of us, come to think of it, we have that in common. It's a good point Dragona that from 2.6, we're into 3 and the new beginning. For some reason I was focused on the changing line, and my brain didn't go past there. Thanks.

 

[precision grace]

well you know 29 is about repeated danger and line two about not attempting to get out of the abyss in one leap. I think it ties in rather nicely to 2.6
I mean, in spite of everything you say, you are clearly still hooked and conflicted about this guy, otherwise the decision whether to let him come along or not would have been a no brainer. That's just my opinion from what I see on the page. Obviously your actual life and experiences are infinitely more complex so it can only be you who knows what the reading means at the end of the day.

You cannot know for sure what he would do or say once you are on the way, not even if you asked him directly beforehand and he were to tell you quite honestly; because he could be in one mood now, but later on, something could trigger off another mood and things could change. This is the case with all people at all times, and the only question, as ever, is whether the risk is worth it to you.

It could turn out a lovely trip. It could turn out an ok trip. It could turn out an abysmal trip. Do you want him there regardless of how it turns out?

 

[Lavalamp]

"what do I need to know about .... Mr. X?"

2.6
You consider him inferior to you ( and he may be.) And when he becomes "a dragon", there is/will be fighting and injury.

>23
It doesn't do him any favors to "go anywhere" - I take this to mean follow you abroad. Him wanting to do so is him giving to you, to "insure his position" in your life.

I think this man is humbling himself in order to maintain his relationship with you. If you got the "gravestone" line in an earlier reading, this may mean he really sees a lot of himself in you and what you have been through. And I think there is a good chance this man actually ... loves you. If he were to say so, how would you react?

- LL

 

[Trojina]

Theres nothing at all in 2.6 to say that...Abella thinks hes inferior to her !

I think, having followed this from the beginning, if this guy said he loved Abella she'd be delighted...but he never really commits to anything, leads her to expect a deeper bond but doesn't follow through. Hes done this many times to the point where he has driven her to distraction.

 

[Lavalamp]

Trojan, Trojan. There certainly is if you read 2.6 as a process. In the Legge commentary -

"The humble subject of the divided line is transformed into a dragon, and fights with the true dragon, the subject of the undivided line."

And the description is the inferior earth dragon refusing to submit to the dragon of heaven, with fighting and wounding.

I took the "humble subject" as the man in question, he of whom the question is being asked. And the Superior Dragon would not fight with the Inferior One, unless it thought of him as being so in the first place.

I hope this clears up where in the Yi I got this from. I see what I see. Maybe ask what taking the trip together might mean for the relationship, a more specific question.

- LL

 

[Lavalamp]

He cannot become the Dragon, because this would cause injury. So he plays it safe and doesn't transform, so you can be together. For some reason he wants to be around you even though he can't really be his full self with you.

Of course, I could be totally wrong.

- LL

 

[Trojina]

OK, so i've taken PG's suggestion of another question, putting Hex 2.6 aside -- AGAIN -- just as a I to last time.

I asked what is the best way for me to view this reacquaintance he is suggesting:

Hexagram 29.2 becoming Hexagram 8. From experience that says we are flowing throught this canyon, riding on the fluid situation, as on water. Starts out trickling and builds from there. At least, that is how this has played out in other situations. My feelings are definitely to a trickle at the moment. My question is whether there's enough potential to warrant building this up at all, or just leave it where it was. This seems to say, a step at a time and reassess. Which is kind of what I'm doing with these questions.

I think it means that what has happened before with him will happen again. 29 is generally about repeated trials. Whether you want to take that ride again is up to you

 

[Lavalamp]

"what is the best way for me to view this reacquaintance he is suggesting?"

29.2
Small gains, not taking on too much at first. "A spring flows only sparingly at first, and tarries for some time before it makes its way into the open."

>8
HOLDING TOGETHER brings good fortune. Check yourself.

- LL

 

[arabella]

I'm sure that he hasn't shown himself fully at this point. He is an extremely private person and moved to the top of a mountain last year from a large estate where he had constant guests since there are so many walkers in this community. I think the former place was his wife's idea and she had that type of personality -- he more entertains by appointment. In a way he's a powerful person who is also shy.

I had a weird dream about this situation last night. I dreamed that I was staying at his home, although he wasn't there at the time. I was there with all of my children -- and they were small children, although in real life my youngest just graduated university. Some very impressive looking people came to the door including a Lord Suchabody, saying they had bought the property [he just sold the estate last Autumn] and since they were out walking as a family [about ten of them], he wanted to show a few of the common rooms. So I took them on a small tour, turning lights on and off as we went and finding that once I got some of the lights on -- I couldn't find switches that would turn them back out. There was something very smug about Lord Suchabody and he had a proprietary air that bothered me. He was opening and going through cupboards that it was obvious had been closed for years, even had cobwebs. I was horrified.

At the same time, in many of the closets were clothes belonging to me at an earlier stage of life. They were beautiful things I haven't worn in ages, or never got to wear at all. How they were in closets in his house, I couldn't imagine. I started getting completely confused what was going on.

At the last moment, my friend came home to find us touring the place and suddenly I thought it all wrong, felt I'd done the wrong thing and betrayed him somehow letting people in who I wasn't even sure were the new owners. I suddenly panicked thinking perhaps Lord Suchabody was a phoney and I'd let him into the house. My friend didn't take me to task at all, he seemed to understand, but it made me feel bad for him. After the Lord Whoever left, I was even going through the rooms once more, making sure nothing had been stolen. And it especially bothered me that I thought he was laughing as he walked away. Somehow I felt that I'd allowed my friend's privacy to be violated.

The dream made me wonder if I should have posted this thread, although I do appreciate the insight, because what is happening now, whether this "house" is sold and to whom, and the idea of his cupboards full of cobwebs and my beautiful stuff in his wardrobes, is very personal.

 

[dragona]

Two bloods are mixing - yellow and black one in this battle. Wanted to ask A. before which colour in her opinion represents her- the moderated yellow or black one?
IMO, statement about Tauruses is right - a friend just got engaged to one after 2 years of persevering...but he is an Aries, an in love Aries (many hearts if there were any to pin from emoticons). Peace out

 

[precision grace]

oh sweet, such an revelatory dream! I think maybe Lord Suchabody is LL? heh heh Well, you can't undo things that have been done, all you can do is make the best of it..

 

[arabella]

oh sweet, such an revelatory dream! I think maybe Lord Suchabody is LL? heh heh Well, you can't undo things that have been done, all you can do is make the best of it..

At the time I dreamt this, I didn't know LL had posted anything. I think it goes a bit deeper than one person or another posting to be honest.

 

[Lavalamp]

Thanks for sharing that Arabella. What immediately jumps out to me, if it were my dream, is you are in his house and are comfortable there.This goes back to the Arabella you were when you first had children. In his closets are all the "clothes" you used to wear, even the ones you never got to wear once upon a time. The part of you that dreams is inside the House of this man, your wishes and how you have lived and wanted to live.

The isolation, the vast expanse, the dark rooms and drawers that haven't been opened for years, lights that shine lights that don't go out out once turned on... The protectiveness, embarrassment - dreams let out feelings sometimes we might not be in touch with awake.

I hope whatever you decide, you end up one day in a house filled with light, or ar least some nice cozy fires burning.

- LL

 

[arabella]

Two bloods are mixing - yellow and black one in this battle. Wanted to ask A. before which colour in her opinion represents her- the moderated yellow or black one?

IMO, statement about Tauruses is right - a friend just got engaged to one after 2 years of persevering...but he is an Aries, an in love Aries (many hearts if there were any to pin from emoticons). Peace out

I don't know what to say about the blood part. It sounds like forces of good and evil, doesn't it? I can relate to both colours. I love yellow in all shades, the warmth. I am really missing the sunshine right now. But I wear a lot of black. Comes from years of working in theatre and wanting relative "invisibility" backstage -- hahaha.

Based upon two very bad relationships I always worry that somebody has a darkside I missed. I'm famous for it. I've just spoken to my counselor-friend on that very thing and he advises, give this a try. He sees no reason to turn down "potential" because I'm afraid I missed a point or two with somebody who is very private. His advice: give it a go and if it turns out badly -- leave.

Thinking, in terms of colours and the dream I just explained on this thread, his cobwebs in cupboards versus my pretty dress clothes in the wardrobes may say that, in my psyche anyway, I am yellow and he is black? But I don't know that it's so clear as all that in a relationship.

 

[dragona]

My overall impression is that you are very guarded, to the point of overly rationalising things that have not yet come to pass...I see that dream as your fear, you have put yourself out there, all your valluables in plane sight and you still find cob webs arround...you are misstrustful, I think. Sure you have reasons to be.
Battling of 2 dragons is a strong image, so it can be challenging experiance, yes. But perhaps just stop thinking and try to feel the other side.

I only say from my point of a wiew, as flawed as it may be. Only you know your situaton to grasp the fullest.

 

[arabella]

My overall impression is that you are very guarded, to the point of overly rationalising things that have not yet come to pass...I see that dream as your fear, you have put yourself out there, all your valluables in plane sight and you still find cob webs arround...you are misstrustful, I think. Sure you have reasons to be.
Battling of 2 dragons is a strong image, so it can be challenging experiance, yes. But perhaps just stop thinking and try to feel the other side.

I only say from my point of a wiew, as flawed as it may be. Only you know your situaton to grasp the fullest.

My biggest problem with relationships -- of any kind -- is being 100% into it and not thinking enough -- which I've had to learn in order to avoid more trauma. That is a fact. It's not a natural speed, it's really hard to do. My fear is that I can't afford more mistakes of the dimension of past mistakes. I might not survive them.

I have been described by others an an "empath," including my husband and kids, and have even used that to heal people -- believe it or not. I've healed serious ailments in all of my children at one time or another. It can just as easily be destructive since, when I am in a turmoil, I explode electrical things.

I don't control it, I don't even know how it works. But I've had it from at least the age of four. It's a type of vulnerability you have to watch out for because I plug into other people's energy unless I am careful. It may sound completely cuckoo but I kept my mother from going out of her mind when i was a kid and kept someone alive loving them this way when they were dying from alcoholism. I was really aware of that and when i left, he died. There are currents of power between people we simply don't understand. I try to be responsible for what I'm doing knowing I can both overwhelm and choose to be overwhelmed -- and realising there has to be a balance somewhere in the middle. I've asked all over the place to know what this electricity is about and no one I've ever spoken to knows the answer.

I'm even aware that this can be what has attracted this guy to me in a very dispirited time of life.

Also, I'm relatively sure if we're talking "dragons" here that I'm the bigger dragon -- full of electric, triple fire sign [Leo, Leo rising, Sagitarrius Moon]. I try to keep it in line. I also know this is a proud man who is extremely competent and builds strength upon strength -- where men I've known in the past expected me to plan everything, do everything, research and know everything. The place where we are alike is that we are both little kids at heart and know how to have fun. My only fear at all is that I'm missing something -- because I generally miss the underlying anger in people, finding that out too late.

 

[precision grace]

Arabella. You are not 24 any more.

What you are missing is your own strength and self-belief. It doesn't matter whether this guy is damaged or how or whatever. You Can handle it, but you need to find a way to trust yourself that you can.


PS Today I threw 4 unchanging for a question and was reading your story about it in the Explorations thread. It made me think how often, when we are young and inexperienced, life throws us a curveball we cannot handle and how often we end up beating ourselves up over something we didn't do well, or some point we missed that made a huge difference. Because, for some reason I cannot quite fathom, we all seem to think we need to be perfect all the time and never make any mistakes. We humans are really weird that way.

 

[arabella]

Arabella. You are not 24 any more.

What you are missing is your own strength and self-belief. It doesn't matter whether this guy is damaged or how or whatever. You Can handle it, but you need to find a way to trust yourself that you can.


PS Today I threw 4 unchanging for a question and was reading your story about it in the Explorations thread. It made me think how often, when we are young and inexperienced, life throws us a curveball we cannot handle and how often we end up beating ourselves up over something we didn't do well, or some point we missed that made a huge difference. Because, for some reason I cannot quite fathom, we all seem to think we need to be perfect all the time and never make any mistakes. We humans are really weird that way.

Yes, I hear what you're saying but, in actual fact, i blew it again more than once -- And I wasn't 24 years old when I did it! People have weak spots, this is certain. Mine is falling into empathy with people and thinking it is my job to fix them. This is a hangover from being a parent to the only parent I had available from the time I was a toddler. I am still her parent, as we speak. I really want to get one relationship far more right than this, as I see people all the time who don't have people who are nothing but liabilities strung around their necks.

This time, it has to be different. This time there has to be something in it for ME. As selfish as that may sound, it is essential, and I will really need some kind of assurance that this guy has a lot more on the ball than the others I've known. My sense of him from what I know is that he is a good man and honest. His kids love him and that's a very good sign. But I've sure been fooled before.