Should I go to my brother's wedding? 60.2 - 3

[deepstillwater]

Hello
My youngest brother has decided to get married, and has let me know that the wedding will take place in three weeks' time in a city quite a way away from where we live.

I have found out about the wedding by text when I approached my brother to ask how he was. When I phoned my mum to see if she knew more details about the wedding she told me my brother didn't want to tell us sooner because he didn't want "our interference" ("our" meaning myself, my sister and my mother). I'm sure you can imagine how deeply upsetting this is to me. It is very clear that while I would treasure going to my brother's wedding, he does not necessarily require me there and has not made it any easier for me to come.

On top of all of this flights will be extraordinarily expensive, so only myself and not my partner will be able to go.

He is a difficult character: http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=9130

I asked the I Ching: Should I go to my brother's wedding? 60.2 - 3

The situation is truly galling limitation. I cannot understand if it is me in 60.2 who should leave the courtyard, or if that is describing my brother who is not really trying to communicate about this wedding.

My first reaction after learning about the wedding was to call my brother and then leap online to try and get flights - but then after a little while I started to think that really it was almost impossible for me to go (I have university intensive study deadlines only two weeks after that date, I don't have a job and my lovely partner is supporting me so $ is tight...and on top of all of that I'm not even sure if my brother wouldn't be a total pain in the neck when I got there. He is certainly capable of doing mean things).

I asked: What would happen if i didn't go to my brother's wedding? 10.1.2 > 12


Any help would be appreciated, thank you

 

[dancing white ferret]

Hello Deepstillwater,

I believe your answer is very clear, but being new to the I ching myself, I hope a more experienced member will confirm this. Line 2 of this hexagram says

Not going out of the gate and the courtyard
Brings misfortune.

I think this means you should get there, and this will lead to a 3 situation. Maybe some obstacles once you get there, but also a growth opportunity and a chance to begin moving forward (probably talking about concerns you have about your brother and his difficult nature).

My ex husband did not want family at our wedding. It was not because he really did not want them there or that he did not care or anything like that. Quite the opposite. He cared very much how they felt and what they thought, and he was very sensitive to their disapproval (and they did disapprove). But, in the end, your brother did invite you. Perhaps the I Ching can help you determine the best way to handle him at the wedding and give you some input on the least expensive way to get there. Good Luck!!! (I do not know off hand what the other hexagram you threw means... the only reason I have info on this one is I just read a thread about it recently called Perpetually Single... here is a link http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=13952).

Sincerely,
Dancing White Ferret

 

[dancing white ferret]

What would happen if i didn't go to my brother's wedding? 10.1.2 > 12

So I looked at this one and I don't think that anything catastrophic would result, and it actually seems like an easier and smoother course for you. But it would lead to stagnation in your relationship with your brother, whereas if you attend the wedding, you have the opportunity to begin overcoming the difficulties in your relationship. Line 1 and line 2suggest to me that you are not tied in to attending and you could simply not go and things would still run smoothly for you.

10.1
"The situation is one in which we are still not bound by any obligations of social intercourse"
-Wilhelm

10.2
Treading a smooth, level course.
The perseverance of a dark man
Brings good fortune.

"Since he is content and does not challenge fate, he remains free of entanglements."
-Wilhelm

I'm not as confident in this interpretation as the other, but in the end you will decide what they mean anyway.

I hope this helps,
Dancing White Ferret

 

[chingching]

10 > 12, all I'll add is that I think its saying its not an easy route but with the right conduct you can pull it off.

But I'd just go to the wedding. I would personally say not to base your actions on the behaviour of others but on what your values are. If you value standing by family, then stand by them. Going and having a great time might be just the reality jolt your brother needs to get through to him he was being presumptuous in withholding the wedding plans on the assumption that he would receive interference.

but as the dancing white ferret has already said 60.2 > 3 clearlly is saying, go to the wedding.

hex 3 might be chaotic but its judgement is auspicious, eminent expansion, an area for new growth.

With weddings, a lot of couple get wrapped up in their own importance, that doesn't last, I'd just take a deep breath and know that that behaviour is a symptomatic of inexperience and no true representation of your true character, only ever let yourself be the judge of that.

 

[dancing white ferret]

Well said Chingching! Yes, I think you are on target with 10>12. Key words you used, "with the right conduct." That does make more sense in light of the whole enormous tiger and the tail being stepped on .

 

[deepstillwater]

Thanks Dancing white Ferret and chingching.

I think you are right chingching. I love my brother and I'm really happy that he has met a wonderful girl and is getting married - stuff it all and lets just celebrate

I'm booking flights