Treading water leads to exhaustion?

[annietyme]

10.1.6 > 47

This is what I received when I asked Yi about what obstacles are coming between me and my Suisse. It feels like a boom-a-rang lately. Things settled down or so I thought and now he's completely backed away from me with no communication at all. I decided that since the last reading I have a great tendency to over-react and be very pestering so I have left him alone, not called not emailed nothing. I am at a lost and scared [as usual]. Am I doing the right thing by leaving him alone? Will he come back to me like he has in the past? Am I even asking the Yi the right questions?

If anyone would help me I'd greatly, more then greatly appreciate it!

hugs,

Annie

 

[jte]

Hi, Annie -

Some things to consider -

10.6 - treading *correctly* leads to great good fortune - so, as you are asking yourself, what's the correct way to tread here?

10.1 - is this advice on how you should tread or a description of how you are treading (or how he is??)

I think even more importantly, you should try to look for the *underlying causes* of the inconsistent behavior - is it something that you're doing? something that he's doing? What triggers it? Why is it happening? Is it fear of commitment on his part? Something you do that pisses him off? Or...???

Sometimes the underlying causes are the hardest things to deal with because they're sort of "embedded" in one or both people's personality. And require a lot of caution - like treading. Because people can get uncomfortable when you try to address these things openly.

But, ultimately, there's a cause, right? So, the behavior *cycle* may continue until the cause is dealt with in some way.

My two cents,

- Jeff

 

[annietyme]

Jeff,

Yeah that sounds all too familiar. This is a behavioral cycle where i start to push too much or something along those lines and he freaks out or backs off feeling a little too smothered [for lack of a better word]. This is the time of the year that he left his ex wife around 3 yrs ago and that was a very difficult horribly emotional time for him. That whole situation has been very hard for him to get over and learn how to trust another woman. He had said a couple months ago that he finally realized that I was that woman he could trust 110% and I was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. We had set a date to be married for Oct. 2006 yet he was going to 'surprise me' with the actual proposal/ring. We haven't seen one another since the end of April and I started really calling a lot, pushing emails of flight information for him to fly here once my Mom's cancer came back. I know how I can get that way and it is not good. I can push way toooooo much and too hard when I get emotionally needy. This is when he started pulling away. My last communication with him was via email on the 1st of August. I haven't called or emailed him since then so he could have some time/space. I just get scared that even thought this has happened a few times before and he always comes back on his own after I leave him alone that maybe this time he won't. That is what I was trying to find out with the Yi. I still don't know what this means in regards to whether or not he will come back like usual or not.

Thanks,

Annie