Two question about the direction my life will take

[kincadefoster]

So I recently had a very sh*tty experience..

The guy I thought was my best friend wanted me to pursue a woman hed been doing a friends with benefits thing because he was in love with this other woman and didn't really want anything to get serious with woman A(she wanted it to go that way)

I was resistant as she had already chosen him over me and wasn't really that interested in her anymore, but after a week of him not talking to her, she called and invited me over and I spent the night but didn't move things physically, as I like to take things SLOW in relationships, as well as the other obvious concerns for this situation...

2 days later she came to visit us and he ended up taking her to his room and having sex w her. Yes, this really f**ked w me and I flipped out on both of them the next day.

After a day of not talking to him, he gave me a heartfelt apology, telling me he had "forgotten" about the conversation where he told me to pursue her. Yes he drinks alot so it is possible, however, I don't know how anyone could forget a conversation like this. Even if this is true, IMO he was still acting selfishly by having sex w someone he didn't really like that much.

But, in the end, this experience got me thinking about where my life is headed, if I want to stay friends w my current group of friends, and other stuff.

I asked, "where to go next?"(and in my mind I was thinking whether I shld go within to really work on/heal/love myself as I realized that the reason the women I'm meeting aren't attracted to me is because I no longer have that inner calmness of a self assured confident everything will work out kinda person) I got 16.1.5>17

And today I asked, "how to heal myself from within(so I can be attractive to the right people--oh and be happy just for myself without needing others)" 45.2.3>28

 

[Endless]

Hi kincadefoster !
I'm maybe too pretencious in trying to give you my opinion on the matter. I got a first impression, but this could be missunderstood if I go and tell you directly. The reason is my lack of method, my lack of experience in giving feedback to complex vital enquiries like this of yours, from which I just got an impression, not accurately proven by any means.
But if you accept my opinion as that of a beginner, I feel compelled to give you something to start in your own path. Now you can be sure that you will go through a period of deep thoughts and contradictory feelings (h.28) regarding your group of friends (45.2.3). Anyway, It seems to me that you're not completely sure about leaving them behind: 16>17...
If this is really a new start for you, so welcome to the autoexamination world. If not, you must always remember that this path is waiting for you to walk it all along.
Sorry for my bad english, have a good weekend,
:bows:
Endless

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi Kinkadeforster,

your readings are complex and I think it would be a good idea to meditate on them more, so as to find all the multi-layered facettes I believe they contain!
A core statement of both seems to be a recommendation to find a support group (not presumably the people you are with now, they do not seem like a vers supportive option...)
Hex 16 says "ENTHUSIASM. It furthers one to install helpers and to set armies marching." Hex 45 also speaks of community with "Gathering Together" So, become active and find a group of friends more congenial for you. Take the time to find your genuine preferences, emotions and wishes. Otherwise if you act too hasty, misfortune (Line 1) may ensue. This will be a difficult task, and you may not see the success for a while - still keep going it is the right thing to do (Line 5 "Persistently ill, and still does not die.)
The way you describe your actions - making advances to a woman even though you don't REALLY care about her - is to me a good example of you not being true to yourself. You sound like a good an caring person, yet you do things that are not in accord with this true nature (no judgement intended here, just pointing out that this is not beneficial for you) . So might the I Ching tell you to stop doing that and instead listen to your inner soul? - when you follow that path (Hex 17) it will bring success.

The other basic recommendation I can find here is the one of letting go - Hex 17 is about following what is natural and real without resisitance. Maybe you feel yourself to be not good enough now, and think you can achieve happiness only after you have improved? Well, this is not so as Hex 45 Line 2 says ">Letting oneself be drawn brings good fortune and remains blameless. If one is sincere, It furthers one to bring even a small offering."
So be who you are and do what you can (instead of thinking of what you can not do and be) and it will be allright...

Again, I believe that your readings are quite rich in meaning and there are probably many nuances that only you can identify. I think it is quite hopeful!
best wishes

maui

 

[kincadefoster]

The way you describe your actions - making advances to a woman even though you don't REALLY care about her - is to me a good example of you not being true to yourself.

I did like her.. what I meant was that I liked her but she chose him first so I had chosen to move on...

"Often a man feels an urge to unite with others, but the individuals around him have already formed themselves into a group, so that he remains isolated. The whole situation proves untenable. Then he ought to choose the way of progress, resolutely allying himself with a man who stands nearer to the center of the group, and can help him to gain admission to the closed circle. This is not a mistake, even though at first his position as an outsider is somewhat humiliating."

I think this line describes what happened. The 2 of them were already together and I got humiliated..