1>22

yxeli · Jun 20, 2012

i asked yi just now, 'should i not associate with a certain group anymore?' and got 1.2,4,5,>22. The group is pretty much my social life, but my ex boyfriend who i am still completely cut up over is a major player in this group, and its getting extremely difficult to even talk to him now.

My interpretation: action is definitely needed (1) but maybe yi is saying that theres great power (1) in the facades of this group? I read somewhere that 1 can be seen in a group as a bunch of very extrovert leader types that associate together to enhance their feeling of superiority (maybe not the best word). the alpha archetype.

or theres great power in the art/beauty of this group? they are musicians and all men ( i'm one of the few girls who isnt a girlfriend who hangs with them, im also a musician so as far as roles are concerned, i suppose i'm on a level playing field with them)

this is a follow up reading from one i cast yesterday which was 8,5,6>23 (q: what is the best thing i can do for myself in this situation?( the situation being me and my ex)) I took this as if i approach this like line 5, i will see that theres no 'head'(line 6) and so 23 will happen.

the lines themselves feel very encouraging to me, maybe that i shouldnt give up on these people so easily? that i can create the right mix of things?

Thanks all,

Yx

dragona · Jun 20, 2012

yxeli said:
i asked yi just now, 'should i not associate with a certain group anymore?' and got 1.2,4,5,>22. The group is pretty much my social life, but my ex boyfriend who i am still completely cut up over is a major player in this group, and its getting extremely difficult to even talk to him now.Yx

Hi, do you fell that you belong in that circle still?

yxeli · Jun 20, 2012

i know i felt like i belonged, especially when i was with my ex. i felt that he opened up alot of possibilities for me, that i was accepted and at home. Actually i never felt so much like i was at home then when i was in his closed circle. I think i put too much emphasis on the memories of the relationship, and really I want to be close to him because i really feel like everyhting stops when he is not around. i dont feel nourished, challenged. My other groups of friends i feel like im a teacher to, all of our conversations are ones that i have had before, there's no new input into those relationships. But with my ex's group( who by the way i was friends with before) are the ones that i feel would help me along, help me find where i truely fit. They arent stagnating by keeping within the confines of decorum, i suppose is what i mean. the rest of my friends are younger then me, some 22, some 26. This bunch are more my age, 30-35.

but due our breakup, which was really bad, and which i still cry daily over, and its been over a year since, and he is with someone else, i dont have anywhere i can feel like i belong anymore. I cant seem to be friends with his new girl, im sure she is lovely, but she lied to me when i asked her if there was anyhting going on between her and my ex., and its something i really cant get over, because if she had just been honest with me i think this healing and knowing where i was with the situation would have been easier. its this feeling of being purposefully kept in the dark, excluded, which is now happening because he is the leader of the pack and he is now what looks like deeply involved with another.

its agonising.

yxeli · Jun 20, 2012

i'm sorry, i know that a load of readings in one thread is bad form, but ive been getting a string of 8's here.

i got 51.4.6, i think i asked what my position should be, and i got from this line that there's a lot of emotions and memories that need to be extricated.

i asked what main feeling do i need to extricate in context of 51.4, and i got 38.3>14 i do feel like i have been branded and cast aside, but also feel like i have done that with my ex. so i asked 'if my opposition was justified' and got 28 2,3,4> 8. which is to me with lines 2 anyway, quite good for relationships(?) but in this contect, maybe its just profiling my relationship with him. excess, but not in the good way? excess of the bond caused me this opposition in my own mind. i dont know.

I ask the yi daily about this, i have for years now. Im only 30, but i have never found my group. i felt that i was at home with him and his people. but the extreme (28) nature of our relationship i think caused this 38.3.

the last question i asked was what is his position regarding me 45.4>8. another 8.

and finally, an image of me and him, 62 3,6,>35. these lines are horrible and dont look good at all.

I use yi mainly for this relationship. everyday, its probably not healthy. but im so lost and feel so alone now, i cry every morning before i get out of bed, its the first thing i think of.

thanks

Yx

meng · Jun 20, 2012

The transformation I see in your 1.2,4,5,>22 isn't unlike that of your avatar. The form changes but it's the same life.

yxeli · Jun 21, 2012

thanks meng. the same social life you mean?

meng · Jun 21, 2012

yxeli said:
thanks meng. the same social life you mean?

I didn't get that far, Yx, to be candid. It was just something that popped out at me, the feeling of it and your metamorphosing butterfly.

Reading through your comments again, this quote from you feels relevant: "They arent stagnating by keeping within the confines of decorum.." This describes the boundless energy of 1 and the form of 22 - referring to this younger group, maybe they're literally showier, and more creative or outside-the-box. I believe "social life" and this younger group in question, is the reference.

yxeli · Jun 21, 2012

meng said:
I didn't get that far, Yx, to be candid. It was just something that popped out at me, the feeling of it and your metamorphosing butterfly.

Reading through your comments again, this quote from you feels relevant: "They arent stagnating by keeping within the confines of decorum.." This describes the boundless energy of 1 and the form of 22 - referring to this younger group, maybe they're literally showier, and more creative or outside-the-box. I believe "social life" and this younger group in question, is the reference.

That quote was to do with the group that is my age, 30-35. The younger ones are very much bound to spiralling in the same conversational way, I suppose its to do with age and also maybe, my personal preference. I learned and grew when i was in that relationship and with my older friends, they challenged me, sometimes harshly but always just to get me out of my facade, which the younger group is all about, they talk of facts and music and boys, theres just no real 48 to their conversations. It feels monotonous to me, compared to the older group.They are still in the fact grabbing conversational mode, they havent grown out of that kind of talk yet, if you know what i mean.

i just have more fun and im more interested in the older groups chats and activities, both groups are musicians and artists, but the monotony of being cast in a certain role with the younger crew and not having any 'real' input is leaving me completely without inspiration. i'm very cut off from true nourishment, that of the 48 kind.

Thanks Meng. I should really change my avatar. thats three times now that someone has brought it up in a casting i made as part of the interpretation!

Yx

meng · Jun 21, 2012

Thanks for explaining, I understand clearer now.

Actually 1>22 caught my attention. I just thought it was a beautiful and dynamic combination.

meng · Jun 21, 2012

However, it can be interpreted from so many perspectives, it comes back to your own perspective. Up to you to assign the symbol with the 'local' affect or value, and then determine of what use it is, or isn't.

I don't see Yi making a clear call, but rather pointing out the elements, to help you choose what is the way for you.

dragona · Jun 21, 2012

Hi

Asking "should I not" is not the best way to form the question..but,
I think the answer is that this group is a source of excitement, creativity and possibility as you see it - it makes you vibrate, so you want to be a part of it. There is also the question of role playing within the group as it changed during the time for you and it is upsetting the dynamics of it - for you but also for your ex who is as you said, reluctant to even talk to you?
lines
1 - do nothing, waiting
2 - you are part of the group,looking for a better, proper position within
4 - trying to decide to detach yourself from it all/to redraw, rethink it all
5 - you have to fulfill your potential, regardless
Confucius says about this line:
Things that accord in tone vibrate together. Things that have affinity in their inmost natures seek one another. Water flows to what is wet, fire turns to what is dry. Clouds (the breath of heaven) follow the dragon, wind (the breath of earth) follows the tiger. Thus the sage arises, and all creatures follow him with their eyes. What is born of heaven feels related to what is above. What is born of earth feels related to what is below. Each follows its kind.
This is lovely...find what binds you together-music?
Can you separate your feelings from your affinity for music making? Do you collaborate with the rest of the group in that sense? Are they a band?
This makes me think that you should seek the way to express and collaborate artistically, to get your happiness and recognition in that way - if you feel it diminished...uplifting your spirit in that way would be of a good use to you...I think the message is to free yourself of expectations and burdens of relationships and let your creative energy flow ...within or if it is not recognized, without the group. Go limitless - music does that.
I hope this makes some sense to you.

dragona · Jun 21, 2012

yxeli said:
i'm sorry, i know that a load of readings in one thread is bad form, but ive been getting a string of 8's here.

i got 51.4.6, i think i asked what my position should be, and i got from this line that there's a lot of emotions and memories that need to be extricated.
In sense of liberating yourself from them? It would be more beneficial for you to embrace them, smile at the memory of the good old times...but it takes to get there...perhaps you are given the advice here not to fight them, it will all come into place with time...or he may come around, so you are waiting for that...
I use yi mainly for this relationship. everyday, its probably not healthy. but im so lost and feel so alone now, i cry every morning before i get out of bed, its the first thing i think of.
You need some closure and if you hadn`t, some answers. Maybe you are not ready for closure yet...I can relate...but it is leading you nowhere and answers from the Yi will get more confusing- perhaps not for you all of the time, but for me it would to interpret your thread.
Find a few casts that were gotten in time with developments that spoke the most to you. Stick to them.
And can i ask what was so excessive in your relationship?
I think you are fighting with your excessive reactions here but i don`t know the details..
And what can you do for yourself-8>23
You are spitted apart, tormented with it even and seek the union back...
The idea I get from this is that you should re examine your reasons for wanting the connection so much in the first place, what were the roots, why and how this was/is good for you?
Obviously you were drawn towards him very much, everything was done or it felt it was leading to success, but according to Wilhelm,line 5: "We should not woo favor from people. If a man cultivates within himself the purity and the strength that are necessary for one who is the center of a fellowship, those who are meant for him come of their own accord." there I see the advice: don`t do anything, just be who you are, being your natural self will suffice for those who have the true affinity for Yx.
as for line 6, leave the past behind.
And then you casted hex of creativity, which for me would only emphasize the need to be yourself and shine with your true creative quality of music, vibrating with the others who recognize the frequency.
thanks[
Yx

:bows:

meng · Jun 21, 2012

dragona said:
I think the message is to free yourself of expectations and burdens of relationships and let your creative energy flow ...within or if it is not recognized, without the group.

:bows:

yxeli · Jun 22, 2012

i got 51.4.6, i think i asked what my position should be, and i got from this line that there's a lot of emotions and memories that need to be extricated.

In sense of liberating yourself from them? It would be more beneficial for you to embrace them, smile at the memory of the good old times...but it takes to get there...perhaps you are given the advice here not to fight them, it will all come into place with time...or he may come around, so you are waiting for that...Yup, i think you may be right there.

I use yi mainly for this relationship. everyday, its probably not healthy. but im so lost and feel so alone now, i cry every morning before i get out of bed, its the first thing i think of.

You need some closure and if you hadn`t, some answers. Maybe you are not ready for closure yet...I can relate...but it is leading you nowhere and answers from the Yi will get more confusing- perhaps not for you all of the time, but for me it would to interpret your thread.

Find a few casts that were gotten in time with developments that spoke the most to you. Stick to them. i will, and your very right. i do overcast but i just cant help it, the yi really is the only thing that keeps me together. Because i cast so much i think yi sometimes purposefully just gives me an answer to stop me going over the edge.just enough buoyancy to keep going, but when i'm really desperate and cast 20 hex's in as many minutes i get 29 repeatedly. Theres only so much help an ancient book can give really.

And can i ask what was so excessive in your relationship?
I think you are fighting with your excessive reactions here but i don`t know the details..
the excessiveness of this relationship i think can be equated to 28. quite literally, it comes up all the time with this. specifically line 2 and 5, aswell as a whole lot of the ridgepole actually sagging. the thing with lines 2 and 5 is that they are about a relationship that is odd, that doesnt follow the norms of 31 and 32.

He was afraid and so was i, he would say something, do the opposite, he would flirt with other girls in front of me, he would ignore me, he said he wanted to catch me (as they do) but i liked him so much i just wanted to get it started.I purposefully went in not playing games, i didnt play 'hard to get' or any of those other things. I fell so in love with this guy,i really never understood what that was before this.

it was complete all out passion on both sides, when we came together we couldnt control our speech, we said horrible things to eachother, we just didnt know how to handle it.

he had beena friend of mine for over 5 years before this and his player type persona was well documented by me and others. I suppose the initial track record and his actions caused me to become super quiet, very fearfull, and very suspicious.

I just couldnt trust him, and i have major issues with trust, i suffered a mental illness a few years ago where i would experience auditory hallucinations, they thought it was schizophrenia and put me on very strong meds for years. I only had these hallucination 3 times, when i was 22, years ago, and 3 years ago i myself decided that these meds werent needed. Suddenly i could feel again. It really was like i had spent most of my twenties in a controlled range of experience, of feeling. the way i describe the feeling is complacency. Not really feeling connected to anyone, only superficially, because my own range of feeling was so limited. but not even being able to recognise that because the meds just make you feel like everyhting is ok. I have not hallucinated once since I stopped taking the pills.

its important that i add this, because i came off my meds around the time when he started showing interest in me. i think he gave me the confidence to stop taking my meds actually, it was such an influx of warmth and love and my self esteem shot up that i said to myself, feck this med lark. and i just basically started getting my **** together, i moved into a great house, went to the gym, ate right, organised myself. All because of this relationship. it grounded me in this world, it made this world a place i wanted to be in. that i wanted to work for and be part of. Im a solitary person and all of a sudden i just wanted to give, to serve this world. They say when you fall in love you fall in love with everything and everyone. i did.

the connection was real, underneath the words and all of his games we really did reach something, that i for one had never experienced before. complete familiarity, a real psychic connection. when he broke both of his feet, (it was a night when he had walked me home, half an hour later he broke his feet and was in a wheelchair for 3 months. during the walk home again the fear kicked in and we just had a big silly argument, it was either like that or something so deeply felt that when we were together we both fell silent. certainly extreme, like 28.) i woke up the next day and i was daydreaming. I saw him lying on a hospital bed in agony, his face was in so much pain. but unlike my other daydreams i suddenly burst into tears. Later that night I was told that he had broken his feet and had actually been in hospital while i was daydreamig. I had had an actual vision of it. i have never had a vision before, or since.

after the fall it got messy, I was so angry wiht him for his games that i said and worte some really nasty things to him, in his hour of need. I didnt speak to him for months and by the time he had recovered and was out and about again, a new girl was by his side. this hurt so much because i had suspected there was something going on between them, i asked her straight out before the fall, and she denied it. it also hurts because they are inseperable now, i cant get a moment to speak with him, she appears and whisks him away. its the most inferior in the yi sense of the word ive ever felt, the inferior hatred, hurt, gameplay woman i became. my head sunk and still does into a ball of hatred and envy and vindictiveness and all of those horrible things that i thought i was above before this relationship.

Thats the story. with alot left out.

And what can you do for yourself-8>23

You are spitted apart, tormented with it even and seek the union back...
The idea I get from this is that you should re examine your reasons for wanting the connection so much in the first place, what were the roots, why and how this was/is good for you?

Obviously you were drawn towards him very much, everything was done or it felt it was leading to success, but according to Wilhelm,line 5: "We should not woo favor from people. If a man cultivates within himself the purity and the strength that are necessary for one who is the center of a fellowship, those who are meant for him come of their own accord." there I see the advice: don`t do anything, just be who you are, being your natural self will suffice for those who have the true affinity for Yx.
yep. i think thats it.
as for line 6, leave the past behind.

And then you casted hex of creativity, which for me would only emphasize the need to be yourself and shine with your true creative quality of music, vibrating with the others who recognize the frequency. i hope so

Thanks dragona for your beautiful reply. I hope my response isnt too long winded.

Yx

dragona · Jun 22, 2012

meng said:
:bows:

Is that man Irish, by any chance? :rofl:

I remember reading about some of it before, especially about vision as I had one almost the same way as you had and to many things you wrote above I can relate...but just hate to spill my problems so much outwardly as i already had. You can PM me any time.

Here is a thread where "empty" readings were discussed.
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=15198
I believe that if one does nothing but ask over again, little can be gotten from it, Yi tells me more of the same or gives answers according to my mood as a mirror sometimes.
Instead,you should do something...if you are lucky enough that your creative drive is still up and running, write a piece of music for the 2 of you - you are lucky to be able to express yourself in that way.
Take care, d.
p.s. I like your avatar - colors within the wings remind me of Ireland and to me it is very static, as that is a central type of composition picture...but who could figure out flights of the butterfly

...life can be translucent

1>22

yxeli

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dragona

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yxeli

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yxeli

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meng

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yxeli

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meng

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yxeli

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meng

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meng

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dragona

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dragona

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meng

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yxeli

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dragona

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