Hi,
after a lot if browsing I finally came to the point to ask a question myself.
First some background since it is about a girl I am asking.
The girl broke off all contact with me quite out of the blue. After we were together for some time and we had a very nice night. We took it slowly and it was going well. But suddenly she got doubts. From one day to the other. And after spending the night together. Maybe I didn't react the way she expected me to, but I was shocked, never saw this coming, nobody did. A few days later she said she didn't want to see me anymore and hopes to get back to her former boyfriend, if he ever takes her back. She broke up with him (after 4 years) before to be with me and it was still quite fresh. I know, bad sign.
After all, I was crushed. that came totally unaware and I was really into her. Yep, loved this girl. Now, after more than 2 months of no contact I tried my luck to contact her and hoped to just talk to her. No reply. Of course I asked the Yi before about what to do. Maybe I misinterpreted everything, I mean I am not that objective on the topic

So, now I asked: Is she coming back to me? (I know, not a good question, but I had to try it):

I got 38.1..4.5 changing to 59.
To me it can mean 2 things:
Opposition -> she doesn't want to see me (for what ever reason) but I want her. But opposition dissolves. I read this positively. Maybe we work it out and she returns (wishful thing)
or
Opposition -> I move on and finally make my peace by maybe finding somebody else

What do the experts say? The moving lines in 38 are quite positive, and I still have an inner conviction that she still likes me. But then again, she is stubborn, that was the reason why I initiated the contact. Sometimes one has to make the first step.

I don't know what to think of it right now.

Thanks for your help

Hi there!

For now, don't do anything, if she belongs with you, she will realise her mistake and come back to you. Do absolutely nothing to make her come back. 38 speaks of people who seem to fit together, but who have completely different agendas. Only time will tell whether her agenda will be aligned with yours.

Good luck to you and hold your horses for now (I know, easier said than done)!

K

Hi K,

thank you for your insight. I totally agree with you, especially the different agenda thing. I can't do anything right now, that is not easy to handle but there is no other option. I hope our agendas will align again.

Yesterday I asked de Yi again:

Advice and comment on A:
I got 60.1.6 -> 59

I think this is exactly what you said. I have to set my boundaries in not contacting her, even if it hurts and I have to stick to them. That might be a way to dissolve things.
Thanks K, I feel a bit relaxed now

themadman_666 said:

Hi K,

thank you for your insight. I totally agree with you, especially the different agenda thing. I can't do anything right now, that is not easy to handle but there is no other option. I hope our agendas will align again.

Yesterday I asked de Yi again:

Advice and comment on A:
I got 60.1.2 -> 59

I think this is exactly what you said. I have to set my boundaries in not contacting her, even if it hurts and I have to stick to them. That might be a way to dissolve things.
Thanks K, I feel a bit relaxed now

Click to expand...

You got 60, too ? Oh yes, you're definitely better off tending to your own life for now, let her make sense of hers first. Glad to have put your mind at ease somewhat!

I agree with kkappa here. You should just forget about this person. Even if she does contact you again, don't respond. Clearly she doesn't respect you. If she's going to treat you like that, you shouldn't give her the time of day. I see 38 as two things separating... pretty much for good. Each finds its own place. That's why the text says something like: "in small matters, good fortune", because a separation can be tough, but getting your path set on other affairs helps.

In that manner, 59 is more about dispersing or dissolving the bad feelings you harbor over the whole matter. Approach your temple (your spiritual center), and then you can cross the great water... move on. Note how to cross the great water refers to Wood above Water, the Wood representing a ship. The meaning of the whole hexagram is that you, like wind, need to reach down and dissolve the ice and fog on the river (meaning your soul), only then can you reach better shores.

Also, for your other casting, 60.1.2 leads to 8... did you mean lines 1 and 6?

Yes, I meant
60.1.6 -> 59
thanks, I edited the post.

Well, mryou1, it is what I have feared somehow, although I would wish her coming back to me. At the present time it is incredibly hard. I put a lot of effort into this whole affair, to win her. And I succeeded. Damn it was from heaven to hell and it is a nightmare now. Even after 2 months I have days when it becomes unbearable. I have to live with that.

After reading your answers I asked:
Does she still like me?
49.2.4 -> 5

This is rather devastating. I read it as: Give her up and with time and endurance you will get over her and it will be painful in the meantime. Well, yes, it is

The thing is, how often are you allowed to ask a question? Because I asked the same question a few days ago, and I got:
38.1.3 -> 50

I know that with the new input from you, which I very much appreciate!, of course my subconcious alters somehow.

The thing is, at christmas (one week after the crushing news that she doesn't want to see me anymore, ever) I contacted her, and we had some email conversation. I even forgave her, that was the only way for me to come to peace. But, of course, it bothers me and is on my mind. I still love her
So, I try to undestand her situation. But I don't bear any ill will against her. I just want to make peace and talk to her face to face. After all she liked me very much. She was really into me, and I know, I just know it, that she still likes me. She protects herself now, because otherwise she would give in, become weak and we would be together again. And that is a good thing!
It is complicated. And K, I agree, she has to make sense of her live. And I fear, that this will take some time. it is not a matter of weeks, more of months. She is not back with her bf, because he is also very hurt. She confessed everything to him and she thinks she betrayed him. But she broke up with him before. Now she tries to make it up to him in showing her commitment to him. but this is irrational, she betrays only herself. Turning about 180 degrees in one night, in no time, this is "strange", highly emotional and in the end, these decisions turn out to be wrong. She did something like that before, but she dumped the guy "he was a jerk". Well I was not, I made that clear to her. I was honest and I am not a complete fool So of course her former bf is cautious and he would be very desperate if he takes her back. But again, rationality is at a downside in such matters

Thank you for your opinions on that matter. I thing I have to meditate about this. But talking about the interpretations really helps, thank you again!

themadman_666 said:

Yes, I meant
60.1.6 -> 59
thanks, I edited the post.

Well, mryou1, it is what I have feared somehow, although I would wish her coming back to me. At the present time it is incredibly hard. I put a lot of effort into this whole affair, to win her. And I succeeded. Damn it was from heaven to hell and it is a nightmare now. Even after 2 months I have days when it becomes unbearable. I have to live with that.

After reading your answers I asked:
Does she still like me?
49.2.4 -> 5

This is rather devastating. I read it as: Give her up and with time and endurance you will get over her and it will be painful in the meantime. Well, yes, it is

The thing is, how often are you allowed to ask a question? Because I asked the same question a few days ago, and I got:
38.1.3 -> 50

I know that with the new input from you, which I very much appreciate!, of course my subconcious alters somehow.

The thing is, at christmas (one week after the crushing news that she doesn't want to see me anymore, ever) I contacted her, and we had some email conversation. I even forgave her, that was the only way for me to come to peace. But, of course, it bothers me and is on my mind. I still love her
So, I try to undestand her situation. But I don't bear any ill will against her. I just want to make peace and talk to her face to face. After all she liked me very much. She was really into me, and I know, I just know it, that she still likes me. She protects herself now, because otherwise she would give in, become weak and we would be together again. And that is a good thing!
It is complicated. And K, I agree, she has to make sense of her live. And I fear, that this will take some time. it is not a matter of weeks, more of months. She is not back with her bf, because he is also very hurt. She confessed everything to him and she thinks she betrayed him. But she broke up with him before. Now she tries to make it up to him in showing her commitment to him. but this is irrational, she betrays only herself. Turning about 180 degrees in one night, in no time, this is "strange", highly emotional and in the end, these decisions turn out to be wrong. She did something like that before, but she dumped the guy "he was a jerk". Well I was not, I made that clear to her. I was honest and I am not a complete fool So of course her former bf is cautious and he would be very desperate if he takes her back. But again, rationality is at a downside in such matters

Thank you for your opinions on that matter. I thing I have to meditate about this. But talking about the interpretations really helps, thank you again!

Click to expand...

While I think it's fair to want to understand her side of the story in order to make sense of how you fit into this whole thing, I'm a little surprised that you speak so little of yourself in all of this. What she thinks, chooses to do or not seems to take up a lot of space in your head, and I'm pretty sure it's stopping you from healing. Make peace with the fact that she may like you, but she does not love you. And if she really cared for you, she would've been wiser and not led you on from the beginning. If you care for someone, you don't want to see yourself being the reason for why someone's heart gets broken. Now what can you learn from this experience? What is your side of the story? What can you start doing for yourself going forward?

And frankly, I think the love you're capable of feeling for someone should be directed to a woman who gives a rat's ass about it and doesn't play around with you. There, I said it.

You are right, of course it takes a lot of space in my mind. And there are days when I think I am recovering, when I say to myself: Somebody who is doing something like this now, which is against all your own behaviour in such a situations, you are better off without this someone. But we matched very well. And we were really close. I don't know what happened that made her change her mind so quickly. Maybe it was my behaviour when she told me, in a restaurant, that she needs time for herself and so on. I was taken aback, shocked and I didn't want to go home with her. In fact we took different trams (I live in Germany ) I was upset and needed time for myself. And I have seen her face in this moment, she was very sad about this. But I had to be strong. We had no contact for a few days, the next thing was -> go away. Maybe I was to present, I made her a christmas calender, perhaps it was to early and she was to unstable. Yeah, maybe, I wouldn't do this again, only after some time. But it was nice and she liked it.
But If this was the reason, that she thought, that she might not be sure of me, then I can't help it. Then, she is not the right one for me.
I have to forget her, as hard as it is. Maybe she was to young (23). I move on and try to get over her. That is what the Yi is telling me, I think you got right. Thanks again.

Analysis of the situation

38.1.4.5 to 59
起卦时间：2013年02月26日18时54分
神煞：天乙—卯巳　福星—辰　日禄—子　羊刃—亥　驿马—巳　桃花—子　华盖—未
干支：癸巳年　甲寅月　癸亥日　辛酉时
旬空：午未　　子丑　　子丑　　子丑

六神　 伏神 　　　艮宫：火泽睽　　　　　　　　　　离宫：风水涣
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母己巳火　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼辛卯木　　
滕蛇　妻财丙子水　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟己未土　　×→　▅▅▅▅▅　父母辛巳火　世
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙己酉金　世○→　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟辛未土　　
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟丁丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊午火　　
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼丁卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　兄弟戊辰土　应
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　父母丁巳火　应○→　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼戊寅木　　

38.6 parents (relationship) si fire; 59.6 officer (male) mao wood
38.5 sibling wei earth (hidden asset (female) zi water) change to parents (relationship) si fire.
38.4 child you metal change to sibling (third party – male) wei earth

驿马—巳　 movement si fire. This means this relationship is moving on with the departure of any type of relationship document. The female does not show in the change hexagram. She is in hiding. Zi water female does not exist under your house of spouse, house of marriage and house of soul. Gone for good. She is not part of the game.
Line 4 means the female that you want is departing for the third party. Her heart wants to be with the third party male.

Line 5 means the third party male is entering into your relationship picture (驿马—巳　 movement si fire). The relationship has vaporized for everyone involved.

Line 59.6 may be you who try to keep this relationship in 59.5 (A relationship that does not exist.)

38.3 sibling (chou earth); 59.3 parents (relationship) wu fire.
38.2 officer (male) mao wood (may be you); 59.2 sibling chen earth.
38.1 parent (relationship) si fire changes to 59.1 officer (male) yin wood.

Line 1: she set you free by releasing you from the relationship.

Overall hexagrams
Sibling (third party male) forms the 38.3 (chou earth), 38.5 wei earth; 60.2 chen earth, 60.4 wei earth.
This is the grave non-movement arrangement. The third party male is not interested in the female you like. He is not a love rival.

38.3 chou earth is empty under the house of marriage, house of spouse and your soul. You are not concerned. 38.5 wei earth and 60.4 wei earth is the empty element under this year si fire. This male is not a love rival. He is not interested in her.

59.3 parents (relationship) wu fire is the empty element under the year. In 2013, you have no relationship with this female.

59.1 and 59.6 is the possibility you that set the boundaries for your situation. A lost hope relationship and a concern for the third party male who is not a love rival. The female is not in the picture. She cares less.

Do not bother.

Hexagram 59 = The Tower card in Tarot
She is having difficulty with this relationship because there are differences between you two. To the relationship, The Tower often means a break-up out of the blue, and you have been building a relationship that does not last.
Start all over again.

Conclusion: she is having difficulty in resolving differences not only with you , but also with other males who she will meet. She does not know what she wants.

You are not at fault. Go in peace and find someone else.

Follow-up with your second hexagram 60.1.6 to 59
起卦时间：2013年02月26日17时54分

神煞：天乙—卯巳　福星—辰　日禄—子　羊刃—亥　驿马—巳　桃花—子　华盖—未
干支：癸巳年　甲寅月　癸亥日　辛酉时
旬空：午未　　子丑　　子丑　　子丑


六神　 伏神 　　　坎宫：水泽节（六合）　　　　　离宫：风水涣
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　兄弟戊子水　　×→　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙辛卯木　　
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼戊戌土　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财辛巳火　世
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母戊申金　应　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼辛未土　　
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼丁丑土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财戊午火　　
青龙　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　子孙丁卯木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　官鬼戊辰土　应
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财丁巳火　世○→　▅▅　▅▅　子孙戊寅木　　

Your follow-up reading that leads to hexagram 59
60.6 sibling (third party male) zi water change to 59.6 child (her soul) mao wood.
60.5 officer (male) xu earth; 60.5 asset (female) si fire
60.4 parents (relationship) shen metal (guest line); 59.4 officer (male) wei earth
60.3 officer male chou earth; asset (female) wu fire
60.2 child (her soul) mao wood; 59.2 officer (male) chen earth
60.1 asset (female) si fire changes to 59.1 child (her soul) yin wood.

Line 1 and line 4 couples in a relationship. She set herself in motion (line 1) to free herself this month (Feb 4 to Mar 3 2013).
Line 6 is the third party male who set her free in this situation also.
All the man (you & others, 60.3, 60.5, 59.2, 59.4) are in the grave non-movement postion. You men do not exist in her life.

Hex 59 is bound by her body and soul (line 1 and 6). What she thinks: two men, two female. Line 3 and 4 of hexagram 59 is the door position. Line 4 you wei earth couples with her (wu fire) in a hollow way (empty element in the year si fire) near the door. Both are yin lines. It does not count. It is just a hollow encounter. Two males and two females in hexagram mean that you both have choices.

Please note the six lines in hexagram 59 from hexagram 38 to 59, 60 to 59 are different. The characters are different because the time of the reading is different. This is the magic of mathematical computation in Iching six line method.

Wow, I am amazed. I have to think about this. Thank you very much for your time and sharing of your knowledge. This supports my believe in the I Ging and its power.
I have a direction in which to think, that helps for the healing process, otherwise I would always be in false hope. I will look forward and move on. That is exactly what I needed to know.
Again, thank you very much! All of you of course.

To long_yi, maybe I will ask you again, because it this extracting of knowledge and the reading of the Ching how you did it which I want to learn. I think you need a lot of practice and study for that

hi, it's an old reading still would be interesting if there was any update?