Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
1. Please tell me about the state of my relationship right now.
Answer: Hex 1.4 -> 9
2. What can I do so that our relationship succeeds and moves forward?
Answer Hex 49.2.5 -> 34
3. What can you tell me about the future of our relationship?
Answer: Hex 58.2.3 -> 49
A moment when there is no right or wrong decision. There is freedom of choice. Either of you can decide to give the relationship a chance or just drop the whole thing. The two options are in the air. But with Hex 9 as a relating hexagram I think that neither of you can just carry on the way it is now.
I'm sorry Mirian but can you please tell me more about this? How could I change and show that I have changed? I know it's a weird question... I just feel lost. Can you give me an example?You have to change a lot. A call for change has already been going on for a while (line 2) so it cannot be ignored any longer. This is not just about recognising faults, it is about showing clearly that you can and have changed. Visible, clear. Talk the talk and walk the walk.
Of course, that makes sense. But then, if NOT in marriage, where does it put us in the future? I was relieved I did not get hex 18 or 64 but... I'm not sure what to make of what I did get. Can you tell me more on this one too please?It is pointless to put plans of marriage forward without addressing the real issues in the relationship. It would be pretty hollow. Marriage is not an one-day celebration, if it lacks consistency it would not succeed.
Quote Originally Posted by mirian View Post
You have to change a lot. A call for change has already been going on for a while (line 2) so it cannot be ignored any longer. This is not just about recognising faults, it is about showing clearly that you can and have changed. Visible, clear. Talk the talk and walk the walk.
I'm sorry Mirian but can you please tell me more about this? How could I change and show that I have changed? I know it's a weird question... I just feel lost. Can you give me an example?
Hi CathCillia,
If you read again your own post, you can see how you list your own "faults" (possessive, judgemental, critical, the list goes on and on ). Well, I am not sure if you have all those faults, perhaps it is just the way you perceive yourself, but anyway, that is not the point. The point is, that your behaviour/attitude seems to be having a negative impact on your relationship.
That question was not about marriage nor did I have marriage in mind when I asked. I just asked what I should expect to happen in the future. I was afraid there would be a break up and was hoping to see a positive hex that showed us getting closer together. Do you think Hex 58.2.3 -> 49 says anything about the future of my relationship? :s The revolution scares me because, as I said, in my past relationship it meant the start of a loveless dry relationship (which ultimately led to worst things).As for your question about marriage and future in this relationship, the Yi is already telling you: be careful not to look at marriage in a very superficial way.:bows:
I really like this!One thing about Hex 49 line 5 - there is an imagery associated to a tiger. (Wilhelm/Baynes: the great man changes like a tiger).
One thing: 1.4 becomes 16, no? You have put it as changing to 9, which is the reverse of 16.
I like what Mirian says, that the situation will not resolve through pressure but through change. 49, which shows up twice, doesn't have to be taken as the harbinger of disaster, but it does seem to imply a shedding of old ways and comfort zones.
My mom asked yesterday what it was about Jesus that made people afraid. Maybe 49 is part of the answer.
Also, in the movie Jacob's Ladder, there is a quotation given that seems to pertain to change. They say it is from Meister Eckhart, but I've read that that's not true. Here it is:
"The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. If you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth."
Think about that when you feel insecure. See if you can move without holding on too tightly. (hex 34) What are you holding onto anyway?
One thing: 1.4 becomes 16, no? You have put it as changing to 9, which is the reverse of 16.
I have a question for you, if you are brave enough to ask it of yourself. How would you be/feel/behave if it were absolutely impossible to think the thought "I might lose (him, or whatever is triggering anxiety)". How would you be different? (No yeah buts permitted when examining this potential state - that's where the courage comes in.) The tiger is without fear, beautiful, and stays in the moment acting according to her true nature. There is part of you deep inside that is without fear, that is the same no matter the circumstance. That awareness, that center is where you can find your tiger.
When your mind is occupied with all that is wrong, that wrong is what you will attract more of. Worry attracts worry, fear attracts fear. Even though you see yourself as the core of that worry and fear, that only intensifies your sense of inadequacy, of "I am not worthy", and could lead to complete paralysis. And while you're attracting all this self-criticism, to most guys in your bf's position, you are planting seeds of doubt, and most guys are repelled by this sort of drama. If you sense he's cooling off toward you, I suspect this is why.
49 is to revolve, to turn toward a new way, a new season, a new year, a new leaf, and I believe what Yi is guiding you toward is a new way of seeing and then being. When you focus on what is good, not only in him but in you too, and in your relationship, you will attract more goodness to yourself, to him and to your relationship. You don't have to talk a lot about it, as that too falls into the dramatic category with most of us guys. Just let it be, and learn to just be happy. If you choose to be happy, you will attract happiness, and guys are really attracted to happy chicks, just as chicks are attracted to happy guys. Don't worry about how to make it happen, just turn the worry and fear around and resolve to be happy. The universe will take care of the rest.
Happy New Year.
Oops, I guess I was just too anxious that I messed up.
But it turns into 44, doesn't it?
Thank you very much for your kind reply!
No, you had it right to begin with. Sooo kindly pointed it out. I was seeing in reverse. Pardon.
No... could it refer to my personality? That maybe I have been too controlling? If not possibly just my intense feelings.It makes me wonder how you relate to the balance of power. Is there a power or strength here that you are afraid of employing or taking responsibility for?
The heavy clouds in 9 seem to be looming and tense. Like the pressure in the air before a storm. The advice is to refine your outward aspect. Does this indicate restraint? The balance between holding back and releasing?
Though what do you think Hex 58.2.3 -> 49 might mean when I asked about the future of the relationship, if I may ask? I can't understand if it is positive or negative or neutral. I can't read it at all.
Hi CathCilia,
Can I make a suggestion? It is time to stop asking and start reading thoroughly the interpretations that have been offered to you. Your a nxiety is pushing you towards questions like "is this positive or negative?". The IChing simply does not work this way. Please re-read the thread and gradually things will start making sense. Remember the advice of hex 49. Change is needed. :bows:
But then, what would you make of Hex 58.2.3 -> 49? I am inclined to see it as a fork in the road... that there will be change (whether it is negative such as a break up or whether it is positive) depending on whether or not I change or how I deal with changing (line 2 leading to good and line 3 leading to bad)?
Hi Cathalina,So, I see 58.2.3 not as a prediction but as a conversation between the Yi and the person who asks the question. It is more a call for reflection. Why are you so anxious about your future happiness? How do you think that you are going to get there?
I view the relating or changing hexagram more openly. I would never say never about its meaning or relevance to a reading. Quite often I recognize it as being both the context and the direction to which it moves forward. Very often chiefly the context, and quite frequently the direction it moves toward. I'm reluctant to call it an inevitable outcome because so much of the outcome depends upon the thinking and action (or non-action) of the one for whom the reading is intended. A molting or revolution may be inevitable in some cases, but the outcome of that revolutionary change is dependent on you, the querant. That's the key point here, or at least the one I offer.
Here, the desired outcome is your happiness. Line 3 points out, that if your happiness is dependent upon someone else, your happiness is a matter of chance or even luck. But if your happiness is a result of a change of heart and mind, happiness is assured, AND it increases your odds of attracting this object of your interest as well.
Thank you very much! I guess I should stop thinking so negatively of Line 3. I really appreciate your help!
Also, as of recently I am starting to think maybe he is depressed. I am not quite certain if it's partially because of our relationship issues or because he is falling out of love with me that he comes off as depressed OR if his depression is part of the reason why we haven't 'bounced back up' so smoothly after this last fight, as we have in the past, and the reason why he feels more distant.
Later tonight or tomorrow I plan on asking the I-ching two more questions. I think I will make a new thread (because they will be just about his possible depression, which may or may not be related to this question but I will assume it's not unless Yi indicates otherwise). I really hope you and Mirian can help me with those readings, though you have been of a LOT of help already. I feel as though you are both holding my hand while I am being stubborn and too scared to see what is right in front of me. In fact, I am a little afraid of asking the I-ching questions about this relationship. As I said before, in my last relationship it started with hex 49 then I got lots of hex 54 and hex 18. I think I was abusing the I-Ching with so many questions but I kept getting very straight forward answers that I didn't want to admit to myself. I don't want to be blind by reality again this time if the relationship seems doomed to fail. But I can be negative and think even something small is something horrible. So I can't really trust myself either way.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).