13.1.2.6>28... it's all bad?

[AllenWright]

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. This was a person I was initially able to connect with at a deep emotional level and over time her love for me faded. By the end we were having arguments circling back to the same things repeateadly and she mentioned that she was no longer attracted to me. I also had to move to a different city for a new job and tried to keep a connection with her which ultimately failed because there was no real effort on her part to do so. She wanted to stay friends and continue talking, but I was unwilling to be her "friend" because I know that I would be unable to look at her as just a friend. I asked her to tell me how I could fix things betwen us, I asked her to be my girlfriend again, she said no. I decided to cut contact as an act of self preservation more than anything. It was devastating to lose her because I truly loved her, but in the end everything seemed to be one sided. I think about her every day. At times I am resentful, at times I'm angry, at times I'm depressed that she's no longer with me. I wish I could have her back, but It seems that it's too late for that. In a nostalgic spell, I asked if I will hear from her again? And received 13.1.2.6 > 28. I have difficulty interpreting this, but it seems like the distance seems to be to large of a barrier for her which leads to her not wanting to associate with me.I also asked: What can I do to get X back? And received 8.1.3>63... is this reading suggesting that she's not right for me?Thoughts?

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi AllenWright,

"Will I hear from her again?"
13.1.2.6 to 28 ~ You have to bury her, or you'll carry her...

Sorry to hear that your relationship didn't go the way you would have wished, but I think you are in good company worldwide?

From the Daniel Young i-Ching:

13. Cooperation

Naturally unselfish cooperation in a wild place makes it a good time to seek great objectives. The wise person's forecast is valuable.

1. Cooperation at the beginning. No problems. (deep emotional connection)

2. Cooperation in sadness. Regrets. (became one-way love)

6. Cooperation away from the center gives no cause for regret. (let her go)
​

13 and 7 are 'opposites' of each other, in terms of yin and yang. Oftentimes, I see them as a pair ~ before battle and after battle ~ in the many years long campaign to make life significant and meaningful?

With 7, you and your mates are going to conquer the World. However, with 13, you bury your dead, and keep moving on with the living. What else can you do? It's the same for everyone in that situation?

So, your toss, imho, says more about your need to go through the ritual of burying a lost attachment ~ than to hope that fate brings you back together, again?

"What can I do to get X back?"
8.1.3 to 63 ~ For a good end, choose to ally with the living over the dead.

8. Joining

Good fortune flows from a natural source with powerful and enduring signs. There are no bad omens. Do not rest. It is time to join. Latecomers risk misfortune.

1. Join with sincerity. No problem. Be as full of confidence as a full ceramic pot. In the end, joining has good luck.

3. Joining with bad persons.
​

63. After Completion

When the cycle has been completed in the spirit of sacrifice there can still be success in small matters. Good fortune in the beginning, disorder in the end.
​

Choose wisely, not sentimentally, my friend.

I hope this helps!

 

[Trojina]

My girlfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. This was a person I was initially able to connect with at a deep emotional level and over time her love for me faded. By the end we were having arguments circling back to the same things repeateadly and she mentioned that she was no longer attracted to me. I also had to move to a different city for a new job and tried to keep a connection with her which ultimately failed because there was no real effort on her part to do so. She wanted to stay friends and continue talking, but I was unwilling to be her "friend" because I know that I would be unable to look at her as just a friend. I asked her to tell me how I could fix things betwen us, I asked her to be my girlfriend again, she said no. I decided to cut contact as an act of self preservation more than anything.

Simply reading this far you had no choice other than to cut contact at this time as her offer to be 'friends' was more of a salve for your hurt feelings than being real friends I think and of course it would be hard to go back to being friends at this stage. If she was making no effort to stay friends I think the offer to be friends was just, well trying to be nice.

It was devastating to lose her because I truly loved her, but in the end everything seemed to be one sided. I think about her every day. At times I am resentful, at times I'm angry, at times I'm depressed that she's no longer with me. I wish I could have her back, but It seems that it's too late for that.

I'm really sorry to hear this and realize this truly is devastating for you.

In a nostalgic spell, I asked if I will hear from her again? And received 13.1.2.6 > 28. I have difficulty interpreting this, but it seems like the distance seems to be to large of a barrier for her which leads to her not wanting to associate with me.

Just at a glance I'd say it was possible you would hear from her or about her in a group or social setting or for social reasons like in Christmas cards that kind of thing. If she is part of your wider circle of contacts you may her from her but possibly only in a superficial 'let's be nice' way.


That's not a prediction BTW only my sense of the cast. I think it's even worse to be honest when someone you've been close to sends you the same shallow greeting they send everyone else, that can be painful.


So it's not a prediction because I don't know. The way things sound and by the look of the cast if she did contact you it wouldn't be for intimate reasons 13 being such a social hexagram. I don't like the look of line 2 there either for contacts being used in a self serving way


However long term, for the sake of your 'recovery' I think lines 1 and 6 here can be quite useful. It's never helpful to recovery from heartbreak to end on terrible terms because then you kill a piece of yourself also. So maybe these occasional contacts may help long term in the sense of long term recovery. But you have 28 as relating and I do think you probably had about as much as you can take of the whole 'let's be civil and social' thing for now. You can't ask that much of yourself, it's too hard. I use the word 'recovery' because this is what it is and it's hard.

I also asked: What can I do to get X back? And received 8.1.3>63... is this reading suggesting that she's not right for me?Thoughts?

I think line 3 is often misunderstood, it simply says in Hilary's translation

'Seeking union with non-people.'


….and so many times this line has come up literally for those beings/things we try to unite with who are not human to our way of being human. famously someone here once cast it about connection with a cat. I've had it re connection with spirits, also not human and also people who are so different to me it's almost hard to comprehend that they are the same species, so hard it is difficult to compute.


No doubt at times the line can refer to a 'bad person' but I have never ever seen that myself. What I have seen it describe times where I try to cleave, in a human way, to something that isn't human. I once got it about a bidding system for properties. I was thinking the system had human intent behind it but no it was all computer generated so my being sincere towards that system was misplaced.


As I said I have also had it for people who are 'non people' in the sense that to them I don't exist, or they just don't think of the relationship the way I do.


So you asked what to do to get her back and get 8.1.3>63. Union's Completion. I also notice change patterns of 36 and 6 hmm.


With 8 what is meant to flow together naturally flows together as someone once said 'you can't push the river' (heard that from Brad) and in line 1 there is this beautiful deep loyalty and sincerity held on the inside and then line 3 ! And why is 63 the relating, is this already is as it is ?


Well it looks finished doesn't it which isn't the same thing as the love being finished in your heart which it isn't.


Perhaps you need to juggle 2 things in your head, both real.


1. You had/have a real connection in which you are genuinely in love( 8, 8.1)

2. She isn't exactly who you think she is and it may help you to step back and take a look at her in amore dispassionate way (8.3).


For example, a silly example but it's all I can think of. A person can pour all their love into their cat till he seems almost human - but in the end he isn't and he can't love them as their human self needs because he just isn't the same creature. Yes that was a silly example but, it's true, must be true, that in some sense she is a 'non person' to you, not the same as you, a different animal.


So you have fallen in love with a creature from another world and all the fairy tales tell you how that ends. Isn't there a story where someone falls in love with mermaid or seal and she tries to live as a human but she can't.



There's no judgement in the line you will notice, it only says 'Allen you are seeking union with a mermaid' . So I think some important work for you right now is to think about all the ways she seems non human or unlike you and I think this can be of comfort because then the rejection you feel isn't so much to do with her refusal it's to do with her just being a different creature.


Now she may return, I don't know, but even if you get back together you will both still be very different creatures and her idea of what the relationship is and yours may be very different even when you are in it . So I think this cast is a sympathetic one, yes there's love there ...and also you are aren't the same species so what comes between will have that rather unusual vibe.

I think 63, showing there is a river that has been crossed shows yes this is on a different footing now.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[my_key]

Breaking any relationship brings up a wealth of mixed emotions and 'what ifs', especially if there is a sense of distance between you
I asked if I will hear from her again? And received 13.1.2.6 > 28.

13: It may be necessary to hear from her again to bring a new level of understanding for you
line 1 - Deep changes are happening for you now.
line 2 - Reacting to the old situation is distressing for you - stay with the changing feelings rather than the relationship. The right way to go forward will become clearer for you.
line 6 - New insights need to be complimented by new thoughts and actions for best outcomes
28: Things may get worse before they get better, but rest assured your life will become sunnier.


What can I do to get X back? And received 8.1.3>63
8: Opportunities for new thoughts and behaviours are calling out to you
line 1 - right now you may think that you need this person in your life
line 3 - the people you are emotionally attached to right now may not be best for you
63: You are aware the change is already underway. Look at ways you can protect the changes so that you can complete the crossing with the least disruption to your world.

Good luck.