15.2.6 to 18

[River1980]

I asked if iching if they could give me any insights of whether I am in any danger or not.

I feel like the reading is saying that I need to be true to myself and and take the correct and moral path. I am not sure about corruption 18. Can anyone help me with that???

 

[Hujambo]

I can't help wondering whether you have some issues with family, either now or in the past? Perhaps you have experienced some kind of abuse of trust in the past? I don't need to know the answers to those questions, but they might help point you to your own understanding of the reading.

Both the chastising one's city in 15.6 and 18 working on what has been spoiled, give me the impression that you may have been unfairly blamed or treated in the past and you might be reluctant to speak up. Such as when the behaviours of those you should be able to trust are actually putting you into a state of fear. Sometimes the speaking up can be as simple as mentioning that something has hurt you, without judgement or trying to influence, just honest feedback that reinforces your right to be safe and at peace.

 

[River1980]

Thank you Hujambo, your interpretation is spot on. But I was not entirely blameless. I allowed the abuse of trust by trusting too easily.

 

[Hujambo]

I allowed the abuse of trust by trusting too easily.

Please know that you are not responsible for other people's mistreatment of you. Ever. It's taken most of my life to learn this because my childhood was rife with abuse and I took those memories and that EXACT idea of being partially (or totally) to blame, out into the world with me and it just kept happening over and over. Later on, when I started to question the notion that I was to blame, I felt like someone had removed the ground from beneath my feet. It's scary and daunting to realise that I can neither control nor take responsibility for another's behaviour. Mostly because I can't do anything about it.

You can, however, find out pretty quickly who to trust by staying in touch with, and honouring how you feel. Especially if you experience self-doubt. Raise issues as they arise. Those people who are there for you and support you, they will want to know when they have hurt you and they will want to avoid such scenarios in the future. They will listen and do their best (we are all human and imperfect) to respond. Perhaps not immediately or in the way you would like, but in a way that grows the relationship and allows for the trust to continue. My impression is that those people who can't ever reciprocate the trust that you offer, they will need to leave your life sooner or later because it's important to who you are.

Sorry if I went over the top, but everyone has a right to feel safe and at peace - unless you are an axe-murdering psychopath...

 

[River1980]

hi

thank you for your last message.

I, like you, seem to have entered a cycle of this happening. people not appearing to be as they say they are. And betraying my trust. It hurts alot. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.

Is this reading saying that I should speak out next time this happens

 

[Hujambo]

Hi River,

I just took a look at Lise's interpretation for the lines you received. What is interesting there is both 15.2 and 15.6 are about expressing give and take.

So your original question was asking for insights as to whether you are in any danger. Do you feel comfortable with the answer you have received? Did you get some insights?

Are you able to look back at your most recent experience and notice at what point did you first realise this person/people couldn't be trusted? Did you raise the issue with them at the time? I have kind of put this back on you because you may get confused if you move past your insights before they are fully absorbed. Plus I sense that you may know the answer to this but might be busy with self-doubt.

(I don't know enough to use the right words here so I hope I don't offend)

Perhaps look into your past for the feelings that you explained away, ignored, glossed over or simply didn't take action on. We always know when we are way out of our comfort zone, but we are used to this kind of thing happening, so we might frequently make an effort to move past it and pretend everything is OK or worse, try and make everything OK by ourselves when it isn't. This is not sincere modesty at all. Good relationships are a two-way street.

Make a space for your feelings to inform your actions in the future. Say to yourself, Oh, I know this feeling, last time I felt this things did not improve. Then, when you have identified exactly what it feels like, perhaps seek clarification from Yi - "Should I speak out next time this happens?" or "What action should I take when these feelings arise?" There is no point in asking the question until you have an idea of how you are going to recognise the situation.

Anyway, that has been my method for making changes. You may come up with your own method that works for you. You probably already know that to make the learning "stick" we usually need to connect it to real life situations rather than a collection of ideas.

I was scrolling through the shared readings earlier and I saw your great possessions reading - nice! You do have treasures, River, many many of them. You just gotta recognise and honour them and keep them safe from the people who don't get it. ;-)