15.2.6: unwanted life

[Cometta]

Hello,

I asked IC "what prevented me from having the life I wanted? ", the answer is 15.2.6 changing to 18.

Modesty, humility, temperance are describing the image of the mountain under earth.
As I understand it, my sense of self was burried in a cave and this lack of self expression is what blocked my progress? Or is it the opposite; ambition is arrogance?
Does the oracle describe my actual situation by pointing to hex 18 repairing what is spoiled? Or that being true to myself could have been the mean to repair the damage as I see it in the world around me?

Line 2 talks about expressing oneself with respect to one's own nature.
Line 6 is about trust in all things and oneself.

I read a thread here about the same question (but different casting). I can relate to the missed life feeling in spite of the efforts, but also to the artist way of painting life differently as if it was a matter of life or death. So maybe I didn't miss the singularity of my experience but still feel I didn't get the conventional reward nor what I want.
Maybe the IC is telling me to be modest and accept things as they are even if they don't please me? If so why to be alive?

I would be grateful for your insights and comments.

Dreams

 

[marybluesky]

Cometta you ask about what "prevented" you from the life you wanted. The answer is too much modesty. You needed to be more assertive. Line 6 in particular invites the reader to mobilize the army and discipline the town. The happy-go-lucky time is over.

The resulting 18- detoxifying- seems promising to me. You can correct the situation, it takes time of course.

 

[Cometta]

Thank you Mary,

You speak for the little voice inside of me that I shut because I am always 'aux aguets' of my surrounding, but most of it was not a loving one, nor strong enough.. I surrendered to the fact that maybe I am the crazy one (compared to people around me especially my family that don't seem to see the oppression). I can't describe my self deception when they arrive at what I am talking about a decade later. I couldn't think of myself smart and I am in a big deep hole right now, the mockery of everyone.
So weird because the voice kept talking to me but it is so small that I could't trust it to guide an army, when she was able to fight the whole negative surrounding. (Now I see what IC means by inferior, I am always scared of being arrogant).

I can't see how to get out of this hole in term of actions. I should ask the little voice.
I wish I could recover this feeling of certainty.
Being in a platform of the most sensitive people like you is a sign of health.

Thank you

 

[rosada]

Interesting hexagram 18 particularly mentions the ancestors and their influence.

 

[Cometta]

Rosada,
What do you mean exactly?
I craved freedom and I was living without confinement for a long time, a wanderer. But I was always torn between my past and what is exotic.
I asked myself many times if my rebellion is a reaction or just a state of being. I lost my judgement!
Maybe it is because of my name 'dreams'?
I like what is hidden and truth looks beautiful even when it breaks my heart. I am myself surprised by this courage.
My job don't help either, seeing potential and projecting?
Maybe because I was born the first day of leo, have a sagittarius ascendant (western asyrology), and I am a scorpio moon (eastern astrology)?
Maybe because I am the second daughter?
Maybe I am just unaware of the inconscious patterns of my difficult childhood, even though I run away but here I am again, I need to face my fear of being dependant of an incompetent authority and learn to negociate?
Even when I decided to settle down, commit to have an office, be married and live by the norms of my society, my world collapsed.

Maybe I needed to go through all of this to accept myself?
Maybe I have to learn now that freedom comes with being a part of a whole? That whole I didn't find yet.

So yes the notion of ancestors is crucial for me, and finding my tribe could be my bliss.

P.s: I apologize for the grotesque display of emotions

 

[Trojina]

I asked IC "what prevented me from having the life I wanted? ", the answer is 15.2.6 changing to 18.

If there was a fault here in you that prevented you from getting what you wanted that would be in evidence in the answer and it isn't.

15 is about dealing with what is there, in reality, already in existence. It's not 16 where all the dreams are of things not yet made. 16 is the flip side, it's the pair so it's not that it's you dealing with what you got and the answer praises you for that.

You get born into this life with a fair amount already landed on you of what you have to deal with whether that's an alcoholic mum or an ambitious father, all that stuff is ours to deal with because we 'land' in it so to speak, that's the 18 of it. There aren't that many people that arrive/land on the planet and have a totally clear run just to be themselves and explore who they are and what they want. No, it's not like that and perhaps that's the real 'soul work', perhaps much of the true work we do that we don't even know is soul work, is just that, dealing with families we landed in, cultures we landed in. Nobody arrives here in a vacuum.

So 'Modesty' is not a good name for 15 'Integrity' is perhaps better only because people assume 'modesty' in English use of the word is often associated with being humble and self effacing and 15 isn't just that at all. It's about balance, meeting your environment as it is with your own honest self. It's humble in a way that one isn't trying to impose a shape on things that isn't in accord with how things are. In 15 one is facing/accepting it, working with it dealing with it, doing what needs to be done but that doesn't mean 'accepting' as in just allowing anything to happen. If defiance is needed, if fight is needed that's also there in 15. One meets things as they are. 15 is the only hexagram where all the lines are pretty good in auspice and often full of praise for the recipient.

Line 2


'Integrity calling out.
Constancy, good fortune.'

I read this as praise. You didn't live the life you wanted because you were living with, dealing with the life you got. We have to deal with what we've been given and the opportunities we've had, how we've been equipped to cope emotionally in life, all that. It's tempting to look at young people and think they're starting their life afresh but actually they've been working on dealing with what's been handed to them since very early life, they aren't arriving as young adults as blank sheets. And what if they deal with harder things in their youth and family life they had no choice over astonishingly well ? No one sees, they don't get a certificate, it's not viewed as an 'achievement' but what if in truth if we knew the real truth, it is a massive achievement. It might be a massive achievement for example when someone whose parents don't give a damn about them or whose siblings deride them that they still manage to do okay in school. They may then say 'oh I only got a C grade I didn't do well' but given the rest of all they had to deal with it's massive. This is about honestly doing the best you can with what you've got even if ends up looking messy, there's truth here as a personal quality.

Line 5
'Integrity calling out
Harvest in mobilizing the army
And bringing order to the city.'

This line is to do with going forward and getting things done. Correcting things, getting what you want, now is the time to mobilise yourself and put things right.

I just think this is a very positive answer that if you haven't had the life you want it's not too late to set about getting it, put things in order, sort yourself out, have some determination and if you haven't had it up till now don't regret that, this really isn't a regretful reply from Yi it's an encouraging reply. I think it's both praise for certain qualities you have such as honestly dealing with things you've had to deal with and then in line 6 it does look like it's time for some action. Time to be your own fan and supporter and cheerleader time to change things to how you'd like them. Starting as small as you like change some of the things you can change and keep on working towards changes you want.

Change patterns are yang 4, yin 49 which reflect the reading really. It's like you've been unaware but now you known going forward it's time for something of a revolution in how you think about making life a bit more how you want it to be.

 

[Cometta]

What a beautiful gift you give me! Starting a new life? I am ready.
Thank you Trojina for the fresh energy and the time and knowledge you devoted to answer my question.

I have to meditate on your words. It opens new doors and I don't want to miss a thing.

Thank you

 

[rosada]

This is such a primal question - One of the great ones we all have asked ourselves! I mean who hasn’t looked back over their story and said, “What the hell happened? This isn’t what I agreed to!”

Next lifetime demand a pre-nupt.