16.4.6 to 23 - learning from a discouraging time

[weaver]

I've been going through a discouraging time for a while now and have a hunch it is likely to continue for quite a while. The end of a relationship, and in a fairly tacky, inconclusive way, and continual disappointment and being let down by colleagues and professional associates. I felt there must be a shift in attitude I needed to make to learn from this, and asked how best to grow through this time. I got 16.4.6 to 23. I'm a bit confused about how lines 4 and 6 relate to each other. Line 4 seems to me to be saying that it's important for me to learn how to achieve assent and concord, and work with others, but line 6 seems to be saying that I will also have to accept a lack of support - does that seem like a correct interpretation? I interpreted 23 as suggesting that this is a possibly not very pleasant but useful time of sloughing off old personality habits and getting back to the essentials. Just wondering if these interpretations seem accurate or anyone has anything to add? Thank you.

 

[ginnie]

Maybe it's saying to you to harmonize as best you can, in this environment of collapsing expectations, frustrations, and especially: disappointments. Many people turn bitter when let down by their colleagues and associates.

16.6 is saying that you are indulging in "deluded enthusiasm" and there is a need to act. Since this sounds like an imperative but it is vague and mysterious, I would personally stop and ask Yi what the issue is.

 

[weaver]

Thanks Ginnie - that makes a lot of sense. I did ask for clarification and got 56 unchanging, which seemed to me both to suggest detaching a bit from the situation internally and also avoiding conflict/aiming for harmony. Thanks for your help.

 

[ginnie]

The R.L.Wing translation has an interpretation for 56 unchanging. "You are letting the grass grow under your feet ... You should recognize the time to move on when you have exhausted your resources or run out of creative energies. If you delay your departure, you may extinguish your flame."

Have you been thinking at all about leaving?

 

[bradford]

I think you have the essence of it in your understanding of 23. This "sloughing off old personality habits" suggests that the word "learning" in your thread title could give some ground to "unlearning"

 

[weaver]

The R.L.Wing translation has an interpretation for 56 unchanging. "You are letting the grass grow under your feet ... You should recognize the time to move on when you have exhausted your resources or run out of creative energies. If you delay your departure, you may extinguish your flame."

Have you been thinking at all about leaving?

Yes, actually that's quite apposite - I've been thinking about relocating in the next two to three months but am still deciding - that helps, thank you!

 

[weaver]

This was quite a while ago but I wanted to update. Bradford's remark about 'unlearning' for 23 was perfect and in fact there was a cycle of more than two years of progressively unlearning everything about my beliefs and assumptions about how to relate to people, and how I experienced life. I did make and meet friends and lovers along the way (16.4). It took a really long time to stop wanting to get out of the 23-time ('it does not further one to go anywhere'). Maybe it's only now that I've stopped looking for permanence in anything.

Re: the 56 unchanging, which freaked me out at the time (as though it was saying I'd never have a home), what happened is that I didn't move at that from the town where I was living but remained there for quite a while. I also travelled quite a lot for work, to other countries and within the country. Paradoxically that travelling freed me up to expect much less from people and places, and returning to my house in that town is what began to make it feel like a home. By the time I actually moved away I had a lot of friends there and felt very happy. But entering that 56 state of being a traveller, interested in everyone and everything, not expecting much, and quite tolerant of whatever happens, is still a shift that helps if I ever find myself getting frustrated with things around me. Maybe the 56 told me something about myself that I didn't want to hear - that at heart I'm not one of life's settlers - but when I stopped resisting that I felt much more comfortable and happier, even joyful. Thanks to Bradford and Ginnie for the responses!