18.5>57 to trust or not?

[blue_angel]

Hi,

I am just looking for extra insight or experience on a reading. "How much can I trust this person? " answer 18.5>57.

This is a woman I have met at work. We have some what became friends. I am guarded however, when around her and get the sense something is not quite right. She has not done anything to me, other rhan be nice. I guess it could be her behavior. Anyhow, I recently learned she has some emotional issues of trama from the past. The way I learned about this initially was a little odd, because it was my own intuition, as insane as it sounds, almost a premonition I had, that ended up being confirmed as truth. I suppose I could help her, if nothing else I could give moral support, although the situation is heavy on my heart. Still I feel a sense of the need to be guarded. Sorry I can not be more open as the situation is hers and personal.

Thank you,

Blue_Angel

 

[goddessliss]

Hi Blue_Angel - putting the reading aside for a minute - I've learned to become very discerning, because like you I like to help people, but sometimes it ends up upsetting our own equilibrium and we become 'vampire' energy for these sorts of people. Listen to your intuition I can't put that across strongly enough.

I'm just going with my intuition here and I keep getting that this is about being gentle on yourself and what this situation can teach you and righting the wrong of the past - I wonder if she reminds you or your instinct of a similar situation or person which is why you have feeling of mistrust. I know I haven't answered your question but I'm just going with what 'coming in' as I read your post. - Liss

 

[anemos]

Hi,

"How much can I trust this person? " answer 18.5>57.

Hey blue_angel

It doesn't seems as a warning or a potential thread from her neither i see a message not to trust her. However, h57 makes me say too that you need to go slowly. Respect your feelings, intuitions ,and how your body reacts, the " need to be guarded". I also see that there is something there, so no need to hurry.

Interestingly, W/B talks about helper and your intention is to help her. Make sure you are "able" - emotionally I mean. Take your time .

eta: Just read Liss' post. Somehow we say similar things

 

[pocossin]

If you befriend this person, will you become involved in office politics?

 

[blue_angel]

Hello
my beautiful, wise, clarity friends,

I guess I got confused because initially I felt guarded, then we had went to a group get together that could have been fun with other co-workers, while there her behavior was so bizarre, unpredictable, sort of violent, and she was placing herself in dangerous situations. That is when I had the sort of premonition of past trauma, immediately after that I felt compassion, my heart softened, I felt the need to help, protect, and get her home. Which I did.

The following day she apologized for her behavior and talked to me about her past trauma, so I had been correct I guess. However, my heart
just felt weighted after that. Maybe with grief, maybe with
disappointment. I'm not sure, but as soon as I seen her, my guard flew
back up, like a brick wall. I feel unsettled when around her. Like maybe I
can not trust her. The confusion comes from the brief period of
compassion, can you feel compassion for someone you do not trust? I
really don't care to associate or go to anymore group activities with her
again. It was a nightmare to say the least. Even though she promises she
is not normally that way, and has begged for a second chance to "show
me who she really is." I consoled her, in a sort of motherly way, and I do
feel bad for her situations and trauma but is it wrong of me to passively
walk away, my favorite words are "I'm sorry, I'm really busy this
weekend."....


Work, well I would have to see her everyday, and she did look so very sad. As far as the other co-workers go, they, those that were there, are disgusted with her, and it is I who has tried to get them to have a little compassion... so, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to worry about office politics. Although, I guess you never know with these things. We don't work directly together, so we don't share work.

She did say she is going to see a therapist. I suggested that and meditation, yoga, ect. I guess for now I will walk softly and see
if there's anything further I need to consider.


Thank you, with love,

Blue_Angel


P.S. Liss- no, I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like her, can't think of anyone she reminds me of. But I do wish I would've went with my initial instincts and feelings of being guarded, then I would've never went
the get together, and wouldn't be sitting in this predicament now.


I guess I also don't want to turn away someone, if the heavens are
asking me to help. As crazy as that sounds. (Not that I am an actual angel) I just feel that sometimes, not always, but sometimes, we seem
to be put in the right place, at the right time. Sometimes its me, who has
a lesson to learn, sometimes it feels as though an angel in human form
has been sent to pull me out and up, and sometimes it is me that will
teach or help another. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I suppose its
ok if not, those closest to me on here already know Blue Angel travels
with light feathery shoes and is quite weird

 

[marcelomac]

Hi,

Yes, you can trust that person.

Not to much information so I don't know if the I Ching is talking to you or her.

I'm going to take the risk of thinking that is to her and this is my history.-

As you said something happened to her in the past and she didn't take the proper decisions or she didn't take any, so she is dragging the problem till now. She knows that she can´t solve the problem for herself and is looking for someone to help her o she will need someone to do it. To establish the changes that she needs, in my opinion is a matter of attitude and this is a big thing.

As i don't know more I can't tell you more.:bows:

Cheers

 

[marcelomac]

Sorry Blue Angel. I didn't see your last post.

Cheers

 

[blue_angel]

Thank you for your reply. I think I will continue to be courteous at work. If she comes to me for advice, I will help with what I can or point her in the right direction of someone who can help.

What Liss and Anemos said, really hit home, and the line that needs to be drawn here, is I need to take care of myself and my family. If my intuition is setting off alarms, it must be for good reason. Helping others is great but not without taking care of the self first. This situation is just too much for me.

Thanks again

 

[goddessliss]

Thank you for your reply. I think I will continue to be courteous at work. If she comes to me for advice, I will help with what I can or point her in the right direction of someone who can help.

What Liss and Anemos said, really hit home, and the line that needs to be drawn here, is I need to take care of myself and my family. If my intuition is setting off alarms, it must be for good reason. Helping others is great but not without taking care of the self first. This situation is just too much for me.

Thanks again

Blue_Angel you are such a lovely person and it's hard at first to turn people 'away' so to speak when it's in our nature to just want to help, I wonder if you could just help by pointing her in the right direction. gosh I feel like I'm lecturing or something - just that I understand so well where you are at - Liss

 

[anemos]

sometimes people ask help in the most "weird" ways. You have sensitive antennas, blue angle, and you pick up things, imo. Sometimes is indeed "too much" but not "helping" is not lack of compassion.

 

[moss elk]

Blue_angel,

You are a 'giver' naturally, what a wonderful thing.
A challenge for givers is to maintain their own wellbeing and agency.
You decide what you will give and when.
Don't ever ignore or dismiss your danger sense / intuition it is there for a reason.

Paraphrasing Tuck Chang about line 5, "to use.. ones prestige and the others capability to carry out the reform"
I see this reading as being about her 'damage' in need of 18 Repair.
So, it seems she respects you. She would probably be receptive to you encouraging her work with her therapist.

About trust and danger... we can see a tiger in the field and feel love for it.
We could even put food out for it. But we must never forget it is a tiger,
Else we become lunch.

 

[pocossin]

her behavior was so bizarre, unpredictable, sort of violent, and she was placing herself in dangerous situations. . . The following day she apologized for her behavior and talked to me about her past trauma,

Wasn't her irresponsible behavior the cause of her emotional trauma rather than this trauma being the cause of her irresponsible behavior? I associate 57 with office work and would expect repercussions there. I am skeptical that friendship can change another in any fundamental way.

 

[anemos]

Self destructive behaviors are not uncommon among people suffer from traumatic experiences. To avoid any misunderstanding, its not about excusing them but understand what lies beneath What we see as destructive, to them serves a purpose and its a cope mechanism for self-healing. It is of course an unhealthy way to "solve" the affects of trauma.

On of the most prevailing felling among those people is shame and shame is one of the obstacles for open up the issue to themselves and others. So , a safe environment ( family , friends, therapists) can change those behaviors - they subside as they serve no purpose.

 

[sooo]

The only possible danger I see here, blue_angel, is that this woman may wittingly or unwittingly steal your identity, authority or credibility at your workplace. I think Tom's mention of office politics is worth consideration.

 

[blue_angel]

I do have some eerie updates. Thank you for all of the advice, I have taken it all in. I am going to give this a few days, then I will give an update.