19 Stay In Love or Make My Way Out...

[Gaia99]

Blessings Everyone,

I was wondering if anyone could grace me with some insight...
Last Fall I fell as deeply in love w/a man since I met my ex-husband 12 yrs ago, so it was a pretty big deal for me since I've had so many false alarms, and I want a life-partner badly (recently single of 7 yrs). We had everything in common and the same passions, we were like twins. The only differences was that I had 8 yrs. of sobriety and he was struggling to just getting sober...and he's 10 yrs younger than me I'm 32 he's 22 (I am known to look very young, people are always floored when they find my real age, as to society I look early twenties). He did mentioned that he needed me in his life, as I inspired him spiritually and back to his music which he abandoned...I was his life muse...I would like to mention that he inspired me greatly within my own spiritual practice and life in general, as well as reminding me alot of myself in my last year of getting sober. The age difference bothered him not me, he would get paranoid that I liked him just so I could mold him into what I would want (not the case at all)...He was a jaded & very suspicious individual that refused to get too close to me but it was obvious he felt deeply for me at some point. He acknowledged that I was the only female he got along so well with, the only female he could spend hours upon hours with and not want to be apart (as he mentioned he could only bear being around a woman for no more then a few hours alone)...yes and he never was really in a committed mature relationship and he did mention he was scared of committment but that one day he did want a family. He did also mention that if he hadn't put a protective shield over his heart that he we would both be deeply in love with each other, but that he fears that women & relationships are trouble and that he needed to focus on his career 1st. In the midst he was utterly disrespectful to me, very brash and downright mean, plus he initiated in having no contact with me. Since then I contacted him 2x (1x about a dream I had the 2nd because I saw on his facebook he needed moral support) but I'm honestly done now in initiating any contact. I probably should mention I recently had a major surgery and he did not send me a note of support...lol to his defense his mother had a very hard cancer struggle for 6 yrs. then died and I imagine that surgeries/health issues were no longer his thing (note: I'm perfectly healthy now). One last thing, since we've stopped seeing each other he's gotten on his road to sobriety and is taking his spirituality more seriously. He has seem to have taken alot of my advice to heart, minus the painful fact that he does not acknowledge my existance part...besides possible subliminal posts on his facebook which objectively can just be sychronicities :bag: Other than that it's like complete rejection, not even a one word response to my loving last message of support But I still have hope for us, I feel that we're meant to be...i hate this feeling. Do I need to remain patient or don't turn back?

Love can make us blind & stupid I dunno, so here it is:

What's the best love advice for me here?
19.1

What's the true love potential between Me & M?
19.4

It seems slightly hopeful but I'm getting mixed messages from myself, various translations and from perusing the forums archives. I'm aware of the eighth month warning but LOL I feel that describes what's going on right now as the fan yao contexts are hex. 7 (the army) & hex. 54 (compromise)...I don't see the I-ching as a predictive method but as an energetic weather forecast of the now and realistic probabilities to prepare oneself with.

I appreciate any hits as I've exhausted myself on this issue and I've learned I can NOT read for myself in regards to love or personal matters really... thank you :bows:

 

[Trojina]

Would you mind giving feedback and update on your last thread here http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?16442-59-1-To-wait-or-not-to-wait

It is helpful for our learning and useful in the archives if people tell us how things turned out.

Thankyou

 

[Gaia99]

Oky doky I updated my past feedback Wondering if anyone wants to still give it a go

Let's see, this is what I can surmise from my limited understanding of the I-ching:

Hexagram 19 is about supervising, approach and/or encouragement (I think that's where I get stuck...am I suppose to be "supervising"/having hope for an approach?)

Love advice:
19.1 is approaching together in doing what is right, sincerity...righteous persistance will lead to good fortune.

Wu: "Pressing forward with a companion will be auspicious."

Does this mean keep holding onto him in my heart as he hopefully grows more on his path (i.e. sobriety/spiritual/emotional maturity)?

Fan Yao Hex. 7: Organized Discipline
So keep the faith by being strong in one's path in having discipline?

True Love Potential:
19.4

Blofeld: "A perfect approach -- no error!"

Ritsema/Karcher: "Culmination Nearing. Without fault."

Wing: "Your Promotion is well executed. Regardless of any difficulties you may encounter in assuming your new position, your behavior is so appropriate that you can continue successfully on your way."

Seems lovely, although due to my amateur understanding, I've known to become overly optimistic on a reading while later on realizing I had it all wrong. The Fan Yao here is Hex. 54 hmm not my favorite in love situations...compromise/2nd place, do I read that wrong? What's the deal on reading all of it together?
I mean as it stands right now as far as Hex. 54 being the context of the situation that would make sense since I'm in a compromised situation...did I get it or am I way off lol

Any thoughts would be appreciated, nevertheless everyone enjoy your Valentines week

 

[Trojina]

First this amused me

(as he mentioned he could only bear being around a woman for no more then a few hours alone)...

at that I would have shook his hand and wished him a nice life. It's a peculiar thing to say isn't it....and er doesn't bode well for any kind of relationship. Okay at least he said he could spend more than a few hours with you but it's off putting that he finds a person's gender means he cannot be with them more than a few hours. What about his sisters, mother, cousins, friends.....he's saying half the population of the world ie the women in it, cannot be borne by him for more than a few hours.

Love can make us blind & stupid I dunno, so here it is:

What's the best love advice for me here?
19.1

What's the true love potential between Me & M?
19.4

It seems slightly hopeful but I'm getting mixed messages from myself, various translations and from perusing the forums archives. I'm aware of the eighth month warning but LOL I feel that describes what's going on right now as the fan yao contexts are hex. 7 (the army) & hex. 54 (compromise)...I don't see the I-ching as a predictive method but as an energetic weather forecast of the now and realistic probabilities to prepare oneself with.

It's hard to answer this when you have given the situation thus

In the midst he was utterly disrespectful to me, very brash and downright mean, plus he initiated in having no contact with me. Since then I contacted him 2x (1x about a dream I had the 2nd because I saw on his facebook he needed moral support) but I'm honestly done now in initiating any contact. I probably should mention I recently had a major surgery and he did not send me a note of support...lol to his defense his mother had a very hard cancer struggle for 6 yrs. then died and I imagine that surgeries/health issues were no longer his thing (note: I'm perfectly healthy now). One last thing, since we've stopped seeing each other he's gotten on his road to sobriety and is taking his spirituality more seriously. He has seem to have taken alot of my advice to heart, minus the painful fact that he does not acknowledge my existance part...besides possible subliminal posts on his facebook which objectively can just be sychronicities Other than that it's like complete rejection, not even a one word response to my loving last message of support But I still have hope for us, I feel that we're meant to be...i hate this feeling. Do I need to remain patient or don't turn back?

Just reading through it seems very clear, overwhelmingly clear to me you need to let this go.

I'm never clear about 19 as an answer at the best of times but from what you say above my view would be forget it....so what can 19 mean here ?

I have no idea

What's the best love advice for me here?
19.1

Well, perhaps you will be taken care of soon in some way. Afterall you have had a rather hard time, having surgery and then him not bothering with you. In my view real love is care, there is no love without care and he isn't showing any care. But 19.1 suggests to me something caring approaches you. If he wasn't in the picture as someone to get love from who or what would be giving you care ? I think you need to turn to where love is not to where it isn't. I suppose it might mean he is just about to contact you......but I wouldn't encourage hanging on for that

What's the true love potential between Me & M?
19.4

Well my opinion is there isn't any. If you go through major surgery and he doesn't even send a text to wish you luck then I can't understand why you are even still interested in him

I have no idea really what 19.4 may mean here unless he is about to connect with you.....? So far nothing of what I have heard you say makes this seem like a desirable connection. And of course there is the irrefutable fact that he has cut contact with you.

 

[Trojina]

Another thought. I find hex 19 to be quite an ethereal hexagram. I find what approaches here is spirit or spirits. There is reference to ancestors in 19 is there not ? I don't know what your beliefs are but I believe spirits or spirit do attend and visit one and bring comfort and strength at difficult times. With both readings being hex 19 I'd suggest that if you feel despondent over all that has happened consider that love and care is still coming to you from somewhere according to what you believe of course. It's just with 19 one often doesn't see anything tangible but can have the sense of a caring guidance. I feel it's this caring guidance that approaches you from somewhere now. Not Valentine's stuff but those who did care when you had your surgery...whether they are alive and with you or not. Also with 19 one's actual ancestors may be present in spirit. This is important, not just fantasy. Notice also if you have had any dreams or intuitions about those who loved you who have died. I've known and heard several times I think how this is one way 19 can manifest. I think in any case you will be receiving higher guidance on this. I think what's happening is more than you think it is....not for what he is doing but for what is happening for you.

You asked about 'staying in love or making my way out'....well the answers suggest as if you can stay 'in love', not necessarily with him but love in the bigger sense....the sense perhaps that the truth is no one can actually get out of love wherever they go as it's like air, it's everywhere....but you can't see it,,,,

 

[moss elk]

That was beautiful Trojan.

 

[Trojina]

Thanks ...I also posted the 35uc thread and that got lost because of the dumb f**** hackers.....I don't think anyone would have had email notification of it but if they do I would be grateful

 

[Gaia99]

Beloved Trojan Spirit,

I am in intense gratitude for your unbelievable profound insights and gentle kindness to my lack of realism in this situation. It's sobering to realize one's shadows through the words of another. I am a fool, but aren't we all when we're in love. We're always making lavish excuses and swearing that this situation is an exception to the rule...but clearly that's the same trick that keep's the fools of love guessing.
I've had a rough couple of days and spiraled into an abyss of depression so I needed to wait until I got centered in order to respond properly where others can enjoy and learn from this exchange.
(I'm still trying to figure out how to get thread updates on my registered email)

OK SOo you're going to love this and this will further validate the other manifestation of hexagram 19.
Check this out, since a little awhile ago I've been doing this "Ancestral cleanse" from a generational blockage I found on my Mother's side. The word blockage is synonymous with "curse" here, although I find it better to not use that word due to it's stigma and lack of hope it carries semantically. We can easily remove blocks/blockages. By the way in Shamanism it is acknowledged that 85% of the population on Earth have "curses". Alcoholism, Cancers, Allergies, Rage etc are considered curses as well, so in this sense people can be more open-minded in this prevalent plague on the human spirit.
You will also love to here that a little while ago before I started this mission of intense energywork, that I asked the I-Ching, if indeed was it true if I had a "blockage"?
I got 18.4, ironically I found a random article on how 18.4 describes curses/black magic/through Ancestors... I was like O.M.G

I'm mostly Native American and I practice Shamanism, so in the past month in half or so on this ancestral cleanse journey, I've been in close proximity to my ancestors. My Guides, Guardians, Power Animals (Higher Self Crew) has had me work through/battle/succeed through this blocked energy created by 3 ancestors of mine 100 yrs ago. In combination with past life regression therapy, I found out that "M" (the guy I'm still in love with now) was one of my ancestors who transgressed our bloodline and I was his lover that he lost due to black magic. Ironically 6 mos. before I met "M" I was told by my Guides to look for the man that resembled my Great Great Grandfather, it wasn't until some time that I saw one of "M"s pictures that I gasped on the uncanny resemblance of my past kin. NO this does NOT mean we're suppose to be with each other in this life as husband and wife, it's karma that needs to become neutralized for the highest healing and harmony for myself and living relatives now. But with such a connection with this man, even the wise can become faint-hearted with foolish fantasies...Once I got the answer that the possibility of me & "M" being together in a healthy relationship was 50/50 LOL. My focus and understanding is removing this block, and that is why he came into my life right now, no one knows if we can ever be together but God. That there's myriads of possibilities as far as husbands, but I wouldn't be able to move forward until after this cleansing...so I'm told.
I'm 32 ,no children, with the desire of 3-4 of them, divorced and I've been humiliated greatly by cheating and abusive men in the past. I even took a vow of chastity until I found my life partner which ended up being 7 yrs (due to a severe broken heart)...last year I thought I found him, I had a fiancée who did me so dirty, he basically moved in with an older woman who had a 17 yr. old, and no more than 2 wks after our break up, he publically paraded around with his new family, not remembering any of our love. My ex-husband also ended up staying w/the girl he cheated on me with and they now have a family. I am not so much bitter with the men who hurt me as much as the exasperation of the "bad luck". So this is why I started getting serious on finding out the cause of all this havoc and it all comes down to what happened with my Ancestors. And it's not like I'm bad looking and obese...men are pretty attracted to me. Disclaimer: An elder Shaman told me it's best to talk about your family's "curses" as keeping them secret makes them more powerful...

I also would like to mention that my cousin (whom I speak to once a yr.) called me back from Christmas finally yesterday lol and I took the advantage to openly discuss this ancestral blockage business. He's only 24 yrs old but he's a trippy hippy like me and he took it all in like a sponge and is now going to do some basic energywork for 40 days to help me clear stuff up, Divine Willing. That was really cool

"Also with 19 one's actual ancestors may be present in spirit. This is important, not just fantasy."
I needed to hear that, because as deep as I'm into Shamanism and Mysticism sometimes I doubt that it is all fake and fantasy...ex: "am I really connecting with my ancestors and healing them?"
But you validated it pretty strongly for me, thank you! I even quoted you to my cousin

In conclusion I agree that 19 must be pointing to a ethereal love and caring guidance, and that it indeed mentions your ancestors

__


Trojan I'm especially grateful that you highlighted and underlined what I said so that I could read it back to myself through you. It really sobered me up, you're right true love is caring! And he's working doubletime to not care lol. I was super loving and deeply there for him in his career/sobriety down moments and he couldn't even send me a oneword note of blessings when I was in crisis and then he couldn't respond with a simple "thx" when I last sent him a message. I feel so stupid lol I'll be aiii

Just to make it clear and please don't judge me for defending this...trust me I feel he's not going to connect with me too and that I need to let this go as well...but I know that the reason why he said what he said about not being able to be around a woman as long as he did with me, was to let me know he never felt like that before. We use to spend days together none stop, and kid around that a couple hours for us was 18 hrs instead, we were like peas and carrots at some point. He also had no sisters or female friends (I was his 1st) and he did not grow up with any female cousins and he did love his mother deeply. We also started off as good friends and rapidly went into lovers. The 1st day we went out by ourselves without our mutual friends he kept telling me he was never in love before...that he wouldn't know how to act. He would repeat saying this throughout our time together never giving me an explanation on why he would keep saying that.
But he was very quick to tell me that he was not in love with me nor love me when I asked him.
Lol I hope I didn't regress just now

But as a divorcee who was deeply in love with her husband, I should've known better that you can't always stay with the ones that you're in love with nor can you be in a relationship with everyone you do fall in love with.

__

"You asked about 'staying in love or making my way out'....well the answers suggest as if you can stay 'in love', not necessarily with him but love in the bigger sense....the sense perhaps that the truth is no one can actually get out of love wherever they go as it's like air, it's everywhere....but you can't see it,,,,"

I would like to share this song with you, it's what came to mind when I read what you wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBI_Av00_Fo&feature=kp

No matter how much my poor heart has endured in love and romance, I genuinely can tell you that I'm not jaded, I truly believe that I can love again and again and again...I mean it still hurts and I'm so tired of waiting while everyone who leaves me moves on nicely but...I must stay "in love" with life and the light that it brings! One day my Prince will come People send me Golden Light when you read this and may the Divine bestow all of you the best from Life's treasures 1 million fold! Thank U

The Divinity In Me Recognizes The Divinity In You! Amitoufo.
:hugs::bows: