2 years later, taking the test or not?

[greenfrog]

hello all

I have consulted the Iching regarding an unresolved issue in my life. I would really appreciate the help of clarity members in interpreting these readings. I am 33 and a 50-50 chance to get a degenerative disease called Huntington. There is a test for it but no cure - if this seems familiar to some, is that I wrote on this forum regarding the same issue 2 years ago.

Anyway at the time, I made the decision I shouldn't take the test or more truthfully I let myself slip back into a half-lived life, not really making any decisions, either on that or my future in general, sometimes in joy and others gripped by fear. I finally took the test a couple of months ago but haven't got my results yet.

I asked a series of questions all similar and here are the answers I got. I usually use LiSe's interpretation.

1. What should I know if I go and get the results? - 28.2.6>33. I can read the lines and they talk about acceptance and jumping your head under water even if it's seems too overwhelming. But does the hexagram 33 here talks about retreating from getting the test results or that I will need to retreat to protect myself afterwards from others' influence?
For the record I got 28.2.5>62, 2 years ago.

2. What is the result going to be? - 5.1.2.3.5>2. I guess this is a bit of a silly question because I know that yes/no answers are a bit difficult. This is why I asked another question and gladly I got the same relating hexagram which allows me to ponder on that a bit more.

3. Should I go and get the results? - 24.1>2. Again I get receptive and 24 line 1 talks of not being influenced by others...

It seems that not taking the test really stops me from projecting myself in the future and not being able to plan is a really horrible feeling. I think we humans are meant to do this even if plans don't always see the light of the day.

But is there some influence here that I should be aware of or that I am currently taking on board and shouldn't be? I am really unhappy at the moment and really feel that I want to run away from it all, job, partner and the rest. I feel I don't want to be responsible and do the right thing... be brave like others would want me to be. I don't feel like smiling or being positive at the moment. The spark is just not there. I think I am happy to take the test on that basis but I just don't want people to expect me to go back to a normal life straight after that and have the courage to live a positive life...

Anyway I would really welcome any insight you may have on those readings. Thanks a lot in advance.

Carole

 

[Trojina]

You mean you've actually had the test but haven't collected the results ..so all your questions are about whether to collect the results or not ?


I think i might draw up a list of pros and cons between knowing or not knowing. The thing is its not as if your mind is going to be at peace if you don't get them but if you don't get them i guess the pro is you still can have the hope of not having the disease. However if you do get the reults theres a 50% chance you'll be totally free of this worry forever

28 is about being under more pressure than one can really handle, one is advised to make a move to get out from that pressure..its good to have a direction to go. My feeling is it might be this pressure of not knowing, being in limbo is too much and you need to do something to get away from it so it could be escape from the pressure of not knowing would be a good thing.

Your questions as to the actual results and you got hex 5>2..this describes you in a position of waiting which you are. I don't feel the Yi is talking about the results of the test as much as your action of going to find out/not going ..thats the important thing

Of course I can't advise you not knowing what it is to be in your position..but in terms of pros and cons of knowing/not knowing, I can't see, as i said, that not knowing is going to bring much peace of mind. This really is a matter of your choice and my feeling is the Yi does have certain ...hard to think of the word...almost a respect or witholding in respect of our choice sometimes which sounds weird but I think i have discerned that in some of my own readings lately. Which may seem unhelpful but it may be some things in life the Yi really does give back as 'your choice'. I can't see that its telling you the results, or whether to get the results but it would seem a good idea to get out from under the pressure in 28. Hex 2 is often to do with facing things just as they are ..

In the end this one is down to you i think...absolutely your choice

Good luck

 

[my_key]

Hello Carole
Your previous post does spring to mind and it is clear from this post that you have had a bit of a topsy turvy life since making the then decision not to take the test. This unresolved issue looks to be a bit closer to resolution by your more recent decision to take th test. Well done, I feel that was a huge decision for you to make, and you are now faced with another, actually finding out about the test results. Well good luck to you on that as well. Here are some ideas on the readings you had.

1. What should I know if I go and get the results? - 28.2.6>33.

If I go and get the results I will be faced with a difficult situation where I will lay exposed. My life is at breaking point now and taking this decision will allow a new avenue to be opened for me. I can get support to help me when I go to get the results and whatever the outcome of teh tests the knowing will be better than the not knowing. Once I have this knowledge I can then withdraw from the things that do not best serve my new way of being.

2. What is the result going to be? - 5.1.2.3.5>2.

The result is going to take you a little bit of adjustment for you, what ever it is, and that is fine. The secret here is that you will know. You will be able to walk your own walk. You will feel a sense of release which will allow you to look at and approach all things in a more appropriate way. You'll be more open to new ideas.

3. Should I go and get the results? - 24.1>2.

Seeing the results will be better than regretting that you didn't follow this through. Going to get the results will change your life - allow you to be more like yourself. How you should be. Giving you opportunities to understand yourself better.

It's clear that this is going to be a tough choice for you to make.
I wish you well.
Mike

 

[titania]

It seems that not taking the test really stops me from projecting myself in the future and not being able to plan is a really horrible feeling.

There's a wonderful quote by Kafka. I don't have the exact text, but it goes something like this:

"We are free to avoid suffering, and it is only natural that we should do so. But perhaps by trying to avoid suffering we create the one kind of suffering we really could have avoided."

That seems to be the case here. By not getting the results, you're trying to avoid the suffering you'll experience if the news is bad, but if you do have the disease, you'll have to experience that suffering sooner or later. It looks like the only suffering you really can avoid is the suffering of not knowing.

I feel I don't want to be responsible and do the right thing... be brave like others would want me to be. I don't feel like smiling or being positive at the moment. The spark is just not there. I think I am happy to take the test on that basis but I just don't want people to expect me to go back to a normal life straight after that and have the courage to live a positive life...

Could you perhaps talk about some of this with them beforehand, explain that if the news is bad you'll need to go through a period of mourning and ask them to help you by letting you have some time and space for that?

I apologize for not directly addressing your questions to the I Ching or its answers, but I think you already know the answers (or, in the case of question 2, know how to get the answer). All I can do is offer my best wishes for a good outcome and my admiration for the courage and honesty you have already shown.

 

[greenfrog]

thank you for taking the time to respond. Trojan, this is the conclusion on hex 2, i have come to in the past couple of days. Life is about those events that just are and change the face of your life forever such as the death of a close one or the birth of a child. This is one of those events. I just have to ride it as best as you can. My key, your interpretation is spot on. It's exactly how i feel or felt at the time of asking. The issue i had was how to interprate 'the influence of others' and the 'retreat' hex. Now it makes sense. Titiana, thanks for that quote. It really is spot on. I think i was not ready before and now i know it is the right thing to do to get on with my life and start living it more fully. Fear is just about the worst emotion... Necessary sometimes but really blocking the way if felt on a constant basis... My only hope is that i will manage to stop this cycle of fear no matter what the result is. I am actually on my way to get the result now. I'll send a post in the next few days to let you know how i'm getting on. Again i am very grateful for your time and support with these readings. C

 

[willowfox]

You will be fine.

 

[greenfrog]

Dear all

I have been using the Yi for a while since I got my results back. I was reading through the post on 28 looking for help on a reading when I came across my own post here. I never got back to you after the results I suppose because it was still very close to the bone. Unprocessed. I had so much to wrestle with. Things are settling down though. And definitely becoming clearer.

Yes I do carry the gene, and if no cure is found, I will become sick eventually. My life has changed because the weigh of not knowing was lifted, but my world came crashing down at the same time when they gave me the dreaded answer. It was like almost reaching the sky after a great climb, only for it to be taken away again. I was there. Almost touching it, the end of the weirdness and the beginning of normality.

It wasn't to be. I am doomed to abnormality. I will never have a kid because it''s too late. I've just split up with my younger boyfriend who is much better off without me in his life anyway. He has so much to see and live.

But I have too. And that is the incredible treasure I have discovered. It needs a lot of time, effort and work but it is a very exciting adventure. I have discovered depth and layers of myself I didn't know existed. I identified my main values in life and try to live by them as much as I can.

I have learnt to deepen my relationships, I have taken up gardening and practice my cooking. I am going travelling for three months in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to walk the earth in wonder. I think I have never felt so alive.

Thanks all for your support xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[my_key]

Hi Greenfrog
Thank you for sharing with us the outcome.
It sounds like you are now off on a great journey.
Bon Voyage.:bows:
Mike

 

[lucia]

Hiya

I've thought about you often since you posted - I have encountered Huntingtons when I was younger and worked as an auxilary nurse in a residence. I can try to imagine but I cannot know what you have been through and no doubt will go through and I wish you all the strength and goodness and peace you can muster.

And it looks like you are mustering well! Enjoy your travels and enjoy what you have and guard that treasure it is priceless.

best wishes Lucia x

 

[Trojina]

But I have too. And that is the incredible treasure I have discovered. It needs a lot of time, effort and work but it is a very exciting adventure. I have discovered depth and layers of myself I didn't know existed. I identified my main values in life and try to live by them as much as I can.

I have learnt to deepen my relationships, I have taken up gardening and practice my cooking. I am going travelling for three months in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to walk the earth in wonder. I think I have never felt so alive.

Thanks all for your support xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Greenfrog, thankyou so much for coming back to tell us how its going, and thankyou especially for sharing these thoughts, they are truly inspirational :bows: