21.2>38 will she break up with me tonight

[leonine]

Hi All,

let's have some fun with prediction... Though fun may not be the right word… I'm meeting with my girlfriend of 2 months (three months dating) in a few hours. Due to the tone of a text message, I think she will be breaking up with me. She has been going through a lot of difficulties (work, health etc, plus years lingering issues with a previous abusive relationship that still 'haunts' her) I've been there for her, and while it hasn't been easy for me ( for example, she is very sexually hung up) I have been willing to work with her on this. In addition there have been a number of negative clouds hanging over my life as well recently ( enemies and underminers within my family is the easiest way to sum it up, as well as health problems of my own) . If it's over, I will be upset, as despite the troubles, I like her, and saw some possibility for long term potential. I will also be upset as she was very insistent that she wanted to initially take things slow as she said she was looking for something serious and wanted to make sure I was as well (which I was and am).

I asked, will X break up with me tonight:

21.2 > 38

21 Discernment/Biting through

21.2:
Legge: The first line, dynamic, shows one with his feet in the stocks and deprived of his toes. There will be no error.

Wilhelm/Baynes: His feet are fastened in the stocks so that his toes disappear. No blame.

Blofeld: The feet are shackled so that they may not walk -- no error is involved! [This line suggests that extreme firmness would not be culpable at this time.]

Liu: His feet are put in the stocks. It will injure his toes. No blame.

Ritsema/Karcher: Shoes locked-up, submerging the feet. Without fault.

Shaughnessy: Wearing stocks on the feet and with cut off feet; there is no trouble.

Cleary (1): Wearing stocks stopping the feet, there is no blame.

Wu: He wears a pair of shackles, which covers his toes. There is no error.

Changing to hexagram 38:
Mutual alienation

I'm not very good at this, but it certainly seems like she will. Tune back later tonight at the earliest or tmrw at the latest for the answer!

 

[altair139]

i've been through this stage before, dont worry you will cope fine after some time
for now, for the hexagram
Hex 21 depicts a very dangerous difficulty/obstacle between you two. The 2 yin line on top and at the bottom is like you two at the moment, but the there's another yin line in between. This is the obstacle that is hindering you two from uniting. Spot this "problem" and solve it as fast as possible.
Line 2 portrays a sinner. There's a possibility that she has someone else. You try to sort this out but it will bring harm to your emotional well being. No blame.
"Suggests a conclusion based upon simplistic reasoning. You only see the obvious: seek the subtle hidden within the obvious.


hex 38 is estrangement, so ya it's very possible that a break up will occur.

 

[ginnie]

21.2:
Legge: The first line, dynamic, shows one with his feet in the stocks and deprived of his toes. There will be no error.

But you didn't get the first line; you got the second line moving. The second line sometimes indicates action stronger than necessary. Maybe she will indeed break it off.

 

[leonine]

ALtair and Ginnie, indeed the relationship is over. I'll post more info and follow up questions tmrw. Thanks for your correct insights. Interesting to see interpretations on a real time time question that is a simple yes or no, as opposed to matters that can only be speculated on etc. Thanks guys.

 

[leonine]

Another looooong overdue reply. And a long reply… brevity and I don't always get along, but I promise an interesting story full of mishaps, bad luck, crossed connections and conditions and miscommunications, idiotic taxi-drivers, a supernatural event, and a final follow up question….

quick background: this woman and I had solo many things in common, tons of 'coincidences' in our lives (went to colleges 20 miles away from each other, both spent a good deal of our childhood living in hotels... when I moved back to the city 4 years before we met, she had just moved there, and she was working at the same school I was doing a program at, such that her office was no more than 300 feet from where I was taking classes… more coincidences but I don't want to bore you, and there are literally so many that I forget many of them). from when we met until about two weeks before the break-up, everything was for the most part in a very good state, things worked out, timing was good, etc. Very emotionally intense, as in she shared stuff with me she has never told anyone else… talks about the future, meeting parents etc. Not a fling in other words, passionate (though the sex was lacking due to health issues on her part, but I was willing to wait and work it out).


Why the break-up?

-Basically, she said that over the past two weeks before that meeting, she had felt a lack of attraction to me. This agonized her, as she couldn't figure out why (she said she found me handsome, intelligent, funny, she really liked my friends), and she obsessed over trying to figure out the why of it, then decided to end it (sounds to me, if it's true, which I believe it is, as anxiety induced etc etc, connected with her health issues). As for what may have had her feeling less attracted, I was towards the end in a bad space (lots of bad luck, family and work issues, and my own health problems… my digestion got completely messed up, and my hormone levels as well… got tested later and my testosterone levels were almost halved… and of course testosterone is biologically what makes a man a man). So we broke up, parted amicably, and decided to try the friend thing in a few months.

So when this originally happened, I was distraught, but kept my cool.
Anyways, a few days later, I had a good talk with a friend that put the situation into perspective… I decided that, yes, this massively sucked, but I would soldier on… in short, I was relatively at peace with it.

four days later, I wake up and see she texted me the night before at 11:30PM ( i was up, but my text notification was turned off): "Hey, totally inappropriate, are you up?"
this spun me for a loop. I texted her the night of the moorning I saw the text (at the advice of a few female friends who said she was having second thoughts/regret). She didn't get back to me.

a few weeks later, I'm standing at an intersection listening to music on my iPhone. suddenly I hear a ringing sound, and pull my phone out of my pocket to see who is calling me… I pocket dialed her on FaceTime… which is strange, as FaceTime wasn't open, and I had never contacted her on it before. I hang it up.

Throughout this time, I keep encountering events and things that remind me of her and the time we were together, everything related to coming randomly across stuff related to her parent's nation of origin, to multiple times overhearing people in the street singing a line from a particular, and now in the 2010's somewhat obscure, rap song from the 90's that she likes and which contains a line in it that she used to tell me how to pronounce her name. weird stuff, and beyond mere coincidence.

About a month later, I was visiting my parents at the hotel they were staying in. I was exhausted so I lay down on one of the beds and took a half nap, one of those where you are sort of between consciousness and reality. Anyways, in my 'dream' (someone of a more mystical leaning would probably consider it an astral event ) I can see the room I'm in, and this ex of mine is laying her head on my chest while looking me in the eyes. I wake up, and as I get up I have a strong sense of vertigo.

here's the thing, one of her health problems involved vertigo (which I had suggested to her was, along with other symptoms she had, most likely the result of Lyme).

SO: a few hours later I get a text out of the blue from her that to paraphrase says, "hey you were right, it was lyme." I would qualify this as a supernatural experience of some sort.

We text a bit then I say I'm going to call her in a week (busy week).
I call her, quite literally as she is about to get on a plane to go to a rehab place (not for drugs or alcohol, but the place does that but lyme stuff as well) we talk (it's a good if quick talk), then make plans to do something when she gets back 2 months later.

in the fall, I'm out with friends, a number of drinks in a female friend suggests something to me to text to her ( a bit of help, as there had been some texts between us that are going no where), she replies saying lets meet up, then my phone dies, and what follows is a ridiculous series of almost there, almost not type of situations, as if some force is trying to bring us together while simultaneously a more wily/tricky force is trig to keep us apart…. a bit of good luck that then gets kicked in the crotch by bad luck.

I eventually find a bar with a phone charger, I get two drinks to both justify my use of the charger, and to numb my frustration. When my phone charges, I text her and she says that she had actually been on the same street I was on throughout the night (14th street), but she was now at a bar in brooklyn, and if we were to hang out, tonight would be the night, as she would soon be beggining work after a few months off etc etc. I hop in a cab and give the driver the address. I go to the bar, order a drink, she isn't there. my first thought is that she is playing me, I go to text her a 'wtf' sort of text, and my phone is dead again. I ask the bartender to charge it (they have a charger) and order another drink. At this point I am completely drunk. When my phone is charged, I turn it on, ready to chew her out in a text for playing games. I see a number of texts she has sent, all of the nature of "where are you?"

Turns out, the idiot cab driver took me to a freakishly similarly named bar on the SAME street, but a 30 minute walk away.At this point I am even more drunk, I walk to the bar, and she is there with some guy she had met (because I was late), they don't seem to be vining, rather talking, but another obstacle. She and I talk, I have a vague memory of us kissing, but on the whole I am making a fool of myself, we go to another bar, and I end up having to leave (lest I throw up).

I wake up feeling understandably frustrated and understandably slightly humiliated. A few nights later I call her to say hi and apologize for any jackass-ish behavior on my part and set up a dinner. She is happy to hear from me, we laugh about my drunkenness etc etc and make plans to have dinner the next week.

The next week, on the day of the dinner, I have a flare-up of symptoms (anxiety, intension tremors, muscle stiffness, brain fog, increased heart-rate, tendo-mandibular joint pain… real fun stuff, and stuff that absolutely screws up one's thought processes and social interactions as well) related to a chronic on again/off again health problem. So long story short, she is happy to see me initially, but I come off as a bad version of myself (because of the health flare-up).

She texts me thanking me for dinner, I text her back suggesting we do it again in a few weeks and promise to send her some info related to her health issues.

Anyways, I send her the info, get a reply a few weeks later that she hadn't seen it, thanks me, and that's it

I realize that she was back and forth, the night at the bar was a turn off, but she gave me a second chance re the dinner but felt no attraction, because, frankly, I was anything but attractive thanks to the illness flare up.

Frustrated and irritated, I drop the matter, though I have many dreams about her.

On christmas she texts me, wishing me a merry christmas. This also throws me a bit for a loop. Then a few really messed up events happen, one involving a family member, another involving very acute abuse from a superior in an organization I am a part of (abusive to the point that it sets me entirely on edge). As such, my plate is full, and I am not in a good mental state to get back to her.

I continue having dreams about her. I end up texting her two weeks after christmas to say hi, hope all is well, let's grab dinner sometime soon and catch up. No reply.

As such, I pretty much utterly drop it, despite still up until now having dreams about her as well as events similar to the one I mentioned above regarding the song lyrics, though with less frequency.

All of that said I am now going to ask the iching:
" Give me insight into why attempts to re-connect with X were marred by bad luck and mix ups"

Hexagram 39.1.5 changing to Hexagram 36.

Impasse/obstruction/trouble changing to Darkening of the light

Hexagram 39
Difficulty indicates that it will be advantageous in the southwest, but not so in the northeast. There will be advantage to meet with the great man. Auspiciousness will come with perseverance.

line 1: Going forth is difficult; coming back is commendable

Line 5:In the midst of the greatest obstructions, friends come

Ok, indeed, there was obstruction, that's a pretty accurate description of what happened. interestingly, she lives to the the southwest of me, and the bar we met up at, as well as the restaurant, are all to the southwest of where I live in the city… definitely no advantages were to be had though.

As for line 1, yes going forth was difficult, though I'm not sure what to make of "coming back is commendable".

As for line 5, I am confused by this, as this seems to talk in a future tense. Additionally, no friends or non-corporeal agencies or events came to my help in all of this that weren't cancelled out by a much stronger and effective force that worked counter to my aims. Also, I asked about what happened, so i don't think it is suggesting that in the future I will receive aid of some sort; barring a minor lucky miracle, this issue seems fully done, both in the friend and re-romancing departments…. though stranger things have certainly happened.

Hexagram 36: Light Obliterated indicates that it is advantageous to be persevering in time of danger.


As for Hexagram 36, not sure what to make of that. I have had this hexagram come up in 'unfair' situations in which I am being told the best course of action is to bite my tongue and be inconspicous (hide my light)… when I usually encounter this it involves a combo situation involving both unfairness and a power differential in which I hold the lesser amount of power and agency, and in which I am being told to keep a low profile so as to not attract trouble.

Not really sure how this applies to this situation, other than that if one thinks in terms of luck, in the above scenarios, luck was certainly not on my side.

Anyway, there you, hopefully my story was slightly entertaining in a melodramatic way, and any insights regarding the follow up question that resulted in 39.1.5>36 would be appreciated.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi, as you say Hexagram 39 seems to mirror the obstructions that occurred when you tried to meet up, again, with your girlfriend. I read all the changing lines as containing a warning that "going" is hindered, while in each case, what comes to you (what approaches) is fortunate. From your report, it sounds to me like you and your girlfriend are friends. She did consistently text you, try to meet up with you, and respond to you. She texted you at Christmas , she thanked you when you sent info, she met up with you at a bar. Maybe she is not responding romantically, but it sounds like she is responding as a friend. Is that so?
So what I get is: you are hindered, whether in your personal life or romantically with this woman, but if you welcome it, friendship is possible.
36 indicates that you are going through a time of obscurity and adversity -- with respect to the matter of concern. Keep shining your inner life and the situation may turn around.

 

[leonine]

Hi Loverofknowledge, thanks for the reply

"39 seems to mirror the obstructions that occurred when you tried to meet up, again, with your girlfriend. I read all the changing lines as containing a warning that "going" is hindered, while in each case, what comes to you (what approaches) is fortunate."

Absolutley, tons and tons of obstructions, though some help and nudges along the way, but nothing that wasn't overcome by obstructions… in this 'battle', the obstructions were Mike Tyson vs Peter Dinkledge in a boxing match.

As for what approaches (sad to say, I didn't even think of the line text in those terms… I thought it was talking about what I approach, not what approaches me as I stay in place)… I have no freaking idea what that could mean, unless it speaks about something fortuitous approaching me in the future (certainly nothing of that quality approaches me currently). Whatever fortune approaches, I wonder if it something related to her, or another woman, or something else entirely.

"From your report, it sounds to me like you and your girlfriend are friends."

Eh… this is up for debate… when we first parted that was the idea, and she seemed up for it as she said she really liked me… and I responded that i really liked her and cared about her wellbeing etc. That said, from everything my female friends told me, her messages, her texting me a few nights after the break-up (and the time at which she texted me) all were 'signs' that she was having second thoughts about ending the relationship. As one female friend told me re when she messaged me about her having Lyme (and I didn't share with her my sort of pre-cognitive dream), "No one EVER contacts an Ex about Lyme"… with her mentioning the Lyme as saying that my ex used Lyme as a pretext to message me….and as I wrote, I'm pretty sure (despite my drunkenness) we kissed when I saw her again many months later, even though the night went downhill in terms of interaction after that. The way I see it, there was a dance of sorts around the issue of getting back together, or at least the strong possibility of it, but I failed in my dance steps, and fate butted in as an adversary.

An aside, but what I find confusing as hell are all the seeming nudges from the universe to pursue, all the coincidences and synchronicities (both before we even met, and after we broke up), and then the utter failure. All I can conclude up to this point is that this serves as an example that happy endings are rare, and the universe, or at least my life currently, is ruled over by a divine trixter who loves to play jokes and tricks on those he doesn't favor... or maybe does favor.

"She did consistently text you, try to meet up with you, and respond to you. She texted you at Christmas , she thanked you when you sent info, she met up with you at a bar. Maybe she is not responding romantically, but it sounds like she is responding as a friend. Is that so?"

For the most part yes, though she didn't get back to me when I messaged her about grabbing dinner, and that was in mid January, so whatever the possibilities, barring some sort of shake up, it seems done in terms of friendship as well as any chance for romantic re-unification.

"So what I get is: you are hindered, whether in your personal life or romantically with this woman, but if you welcome it, friendship is possible."

Seems currently, and perhaps permanently, pretty hindered in terms of both possibilities.

"36 indicates that you are going through a time of obscurity and adversity -- with respect to the matter of concern. "

HA! Correct, though unfortunately this perfectly describes pretty much every area of my life right now (I've asked about this and will write another post, as the answers were interesting and encouraging, in terms of actions to take) my life right now, not just in the context of what I asked about. In the dating realm, my attempts to meet and date other women have been as marred with bad luck, obstacles, blockages and tricky situations as the events detailed in my follow up post above.

"Keep shining your inner life and the situation may turn around."
MAY turn around… hopefully… not looking good so far though.

Before I utterly drop this, I will now ask
-the iching what attitude should I hold re X (as in me and her)
14.6>34

- If I do nothing (don't reach out etc) what does the future hold between me and X:
21.5.6>17

Interesting… especially as 21 was in my first question (almost a year ago). It is late, so I will get back to this tmrw, posting the lines and my amateur interpretation.

And I would of course LOVE to read the interpretation of others with greater skill and understanding (meaning, pretty much everyone).

 

[loverofknowledge]

Just a quick reply: really, when I read your whole narrative, the sense I get is that you are still curious and wondering about the relationship. You have not finished with it yet. You are not sure whether she is still interested or not.
Text messaging can be mis-read. So, she didn't respond to one thing or another. Is that really the measure of love? If you still like her, as a friend or romantic partner, why not just get in touch and get together with her? What is the downside?
Maybe you will gain clarity this way. Or am I misunderstanding?
14.6 to 34 is a big GO AHEAD. You have a great possession there, heaven is on your side!

 

[leonine]

Hi Loverofknowledge, thanks for the reply.

"the sense I get is that you are still curious and wondering about the relationship. You have not finished with it yet. You are not sure whether she is still interested or not."

Clearly, I'm not done. I think she is NOW finished with it, but then again her mind is clear changeable. I do at times feel that certain things are meant to be, even when there are many obstacles. Too many coincides, similarities between us for this to be just a everyday relationship… yet there have also been so many obstacles. It's confusing. As I wrote, I still dream about her, experience synchronistic events that are connected with our now done for a while relationship etc etc. Friends or relationship? I'd be up for either, with a preference for the later.

Anyways…

- If I do nothing (don't reach out etc) what does the future hold between me and X:
21.5.6>17

Hexagram 21
DISCERNMENT
Other titles: Biting Through, Gnawing, The Symbol of Mastication and Punishment by Pressing and Squeezing, Gnawing Bite, Severing, Chewing, Punishment, Reformation, Reform, Differentiation, Discrimination, Making a Distinction, Getting the message "Something which should be, or has to be bitten through. This is essentially the legal hexagram. When asking about a man's intentions, he is probably married." -- D.F. Hook

"- If I do nothing (don't reach out etc) what does the future hold between me and X: 21.5.6>17"

First of all, I find it interesting that I get 21, as that's what I got almost a year ago mere hours before the break-up.


21.5 Legge: The fifth line, magnetic, shows one gnawing at dried flesh, and finding the yellow gold. Let her be firm and correct, realizing the peril of her position. There will be no error.

ok, I don't get this line, in general, and not in this context… though as I've written before, I'm an amateur (at best)



21.6 Legge: The sixth line, dynamic, shows one wearing the cangue, and deprived of his ears. There will be evil.

Ok, re this line, I don't get this one either, though it certainly doesn't seem positive… from what I've read, this sounds like some sort of punishment, and deprived of his ears sounds like I'm not hearing something I need to hear… as I wrote, don't really get this other than that "there will be evil" doesn't sound very wishy-washy in it's prognosis.

As for the 17, that stumps me… following---the wrong path…?

As for :
"what attitude should I hold re X (as in me and her) 14.6>34 "

As you wrote loverofknowledge, this is a good'un… on it's own, and in terms of asking whether I should do A or B… this is obviously the better of the two responses from the Iching.
WEALTH

Hexagram 14: Possession in Great Measure, The Symbol of Great Possession, Sovereignty, Great Having, Great Possessing, The Great Possessor, Great Wealth, Abundance, Having What is Great, "Often means things other than material possessions or achievement. Count your blessings for they are many." -- D.F. Hook

14.6:One is blessed by heaven. Good fortune. Benefit in everything.

As for hexagram 34:GREAT POWER
Other titles: The Power of the Great, The Symbol of Great Vigor, Persons of Great Authority, Great Strength, Great Invigorating, Great Maturity, Accumulated Force, The Strength of the Mighty, Righteous Power, Excessive Force

Wu: Great Strength indicates that it is advantageous to be persevering.

Ok, Nothing bad in this, in fact everything good, Seems even like this is about as good an answer as one could get... though what is considered good remains to be seen…
"14.6 to 34 is a big GO AHEAD. You have a great possession there, heaven is on your side!"
It's about time!

Thanks Loverofknowledge.

When I reach out, I will repost with a follow up and any follow up questions.

And of course if anyone else wants to chime in, I'd love to read what you think, especially about the 21.5.6 answer… though obviously that is the less positive of options, and one I won't take, I would love to read anyone else's breakdown of this answer, as aside from it being less favorable, I don't know what to think about it.

 

[weaver]

Hi Leonine

Just one thought. You say somewhere that it seems as though this person was considering getting back together with you but that you 'failed' to make this happen, or something similar. I feel that's unfair to you. From reading this account it seems to me that she is confused, possibly about a lot of things, and not in a position to behave in a way that you could clearly interpret. I don't think it's about you. I also don't get the impression she clearly wants to get back together with you or ever unambiguously did. The synchronicities and connections you felt seem real and true. I can't say what they mean, but I know I've seen instances of such things where they didn't denote that the relationship was meant to be - far from it. Maybe they are telling you about you. You seem to be someone with empathy and insight. I think this would be worth developing or looking into but I don't think it is confined to your relationship with her. Such people often need to pay attention to not becoming overwhelmed by others' needs and wishes, and need to learn to take account of their own. Other people will not look after your welfare unless you learn to do so first. Not even if you look after them. 39 sounds like a time of temporary obstacles - but I've never seen it turn into something good with a relationship (but others may have more knowledge). 14.6 also sounds lovely, but I think it is mostly addressed to you, not to the prospects for this particular connection. I hope I'm wrong about these last two. Still, if life has arranged it so that you are single right now, perhaps you could give your care and attention to the person who's around - yourself? Sending you all good wishes.

 

[loverofknowledge]

Leonine,
I agree with Weaver's comments, -- maybe it is meant to be, or maybe not. I don't know. Also: look after your own welfare and needs and take responsibility for creating the relationship that you want.
The gist of my own advice: if you still love or care about your ex-partner, why not take responsibility for stating so and persisting until the relationship becomes clear, one way or another.
I see 14.6 to 34 as the Go Ahead to realize your abundance, and the value of your relationship, while taking responsibility for taking care of your own needs in this regard.
This reading does not predict the outcome, but it does say, "go ahead and move on this." And the sense I get is that your relationship, and your ex partner's feelings, are not totally clear. The situation will become clear if you make it so. But if you wait passively, you may never know. That's my take.
As to hexagram 21 there have been some interesting discussions about this hexagram -- see the one recently started by Steve. Maybe it means, this is "nut to crack," so to speak, and it's time to get to the bottom of it, biting through to the gold, to a resolution. Then you will be able to follow the Tao.