21.4.6 to 24 about a separation

[ravelstein]

Hi to all, I love this Community and you're all great!
I'm not english mother tongue so excuse me if my english is not perfect.
I need an help! and I'll try to be the more clear as possible.
Some weeks ago me and my partner split up in a very dramatic way, telling us we don't love each other anymore..
I asked to the Yi "wich is the future of this separation?"
I got 21.4.6 to 24
I don't understand if it's about a return together or maybe a return to our inidvidual separate "path".
I feel so confused and of course I miss my partner but I can't get the situation into focus.
Thank you very much.

 

[pocossin]

The burden you feel now will not last. Whether your separation continues depends on how much punishment (21) was inflicted during the split up, the amount of time that has passed, and whether your partner holds a grudge. If nothing unforgivable was said or done, then the relationship might return. You have already returned (24) to the relationship in that you miss your partner and are thinking of reconciliation. Is there a mutual friend who might speak to the partner on your behalf?

21.4
It furthers one to be mindful of difficulties
And to be persevering.
Good fortune.

It won't be easy but will turn out well if your persevere.

21.6
His neck is fastened in the wooden cangue,
So that his ears disappear.
Misfortune.

If your partner will not hear you, reconciliation cannot occur.

 

[ravelstein]

dear Pocossin, thanks for your reply.
It's very hard for me to understand the whole situation and the energies involved in that separation.
We already split up several times in the past. Everytime she left me telling me she doesn't love me anymore; and then after some weeks she comes back.
Now I can tell you.. I'm very fed up with this sort of cruel game and I'm not going to be docile with her anymore.
It's a strange and very bad state of mind: I miss her but I am also deeply disapponted. I can't do something more for this relationship, because I already gave my best.
I would appreciate her to be more firm and reliable.
Sometimes I feel as I were in a marsh. No way out.

It's very difficult to me to understand what to do. Maybe I should understand that..I can't do anything because there's nothing more to do with that.
I think that I just need HER efforts.

I also asked the Yi "what will I get from her next month?" and I got 39.3>8.
But it could indicate that she will go back to her friends in general, to gain support in this difficult moment.

What do you think about it?
Thank you Pocossin, I appreciate your attention. And sorry for my not very good english!

 

[pocossin]

I also asked the Yi "what will I get from her next month?" and I got 39.3>8.

Obstruction (39) suggests that your friend has interests that are not being satisfied by the relationship. The situation is unfair to you, but feelings aren't rational or just. We are driven by forces of which we are unconscious. They are nobody's fault. In the past, hasn't your friend revealed aspirations to you? They may be impossible to achieve, yet she feels compelled to pursue them.

The Image of 8 suggests a solution to this impasse:

On the earth is water:
The image of Holding Together.
Thus the kings of antiquity
Bestowed the different states as fiefs
And cultivated friendly relations
With the feudal lords.

If we think of fiefs as independent space, then you could make space in the relationship for your friend to pursue what she feels compelled to pursue.

39.3

Nine in the third place means:
Going leads to obstructions;
Hence he comes back.

This line suggests that your friend will once again return. A redefinition of the relationship can break this cycle of separations.

 

[ravelstein]

Dear Pocossin, yes, she told me there was something between us that didn't work well. She said she tried to make things work but without success.
Well, I don't agree with her, because she tried only in a very superficial way. I suppose that in her deep thoughts she kept her usual way of thinking ("a little bit" egoistic).
She might turn back, it seems she will....but I wonder if she will offer me just friendship, because I'm convinced that -either for a lack of feeling and either for her personal weakness- she really can't handle a relationship with someone at this moment. I think that she has got problem. Actually some months ago she found a therapist and started a therapy with her. So there is so much stuff to make clear.
I also ask what will be her situation about feelings in general (next month) and I got 36.3>24.
Anyway, I deeply hope the cycle of separations will end soon....although if I continue to feel bad about it... :/