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kestrelw1ngs

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well, yi and life have been reading me lately it seems.
i'm lonely tonight so here for storytelling more than anything....although interpretation help is always welcome.

two weeks ago, finally visited my friend & love interest S in the city from this summer. they were excited but oddly distant. i chalked it up to their friend passing away recently. we had a comforting, fun but strange time. i 'caught feelings' and they expressed hope for a relationship, but I felt some reservations, and declined to commit, despite what my emotions urged.

the next week my partner X had proposed a spontaneous trip to that same city.
i was hung up on going or not asked "what will be the result of taking this trip?"
15.2.3.5.6 > 59.
the Taoscopy summary is 1633590378567.png
worried that resulting hex was about the dissolution of this main relationship. but surprisingly, things turned around with that. X became intensely affectionate and expressive. my feelings of discomfort remained, but love deepened for her. something awful is up with me though.

meanwhile S slowly withdrew in messaging, and was posting about a 'friend' they were staying with that i'd seen them with before. they missed a poetry reading they'd agreed to virtually attend, to stay with them. i had odd feelings and sure enough, tonight they sent a message saying they had a new relationship.
dodged a bullet there, but so did they with me.....all's fair in love and war. it still stung as this was the first they told me of it, and no longer seem very interested in talking at all. we had become quite emotionally close over this year, i thought. i hadn't made much effort with other friends for awhile and now find myself feeling adrift.

come to realize, as i looked back over old readings tonight, i'd received 59 in various permutations when asking about S.
a situation meant to 'dissolve' from the start, i suppose.

____________________________________

anyways, the anxiety won't leave me be, and i keep casting looking for some kind of answer. then i read Hilary's thread on "too many readings" and found it enlightening - stopped asking about this whole situation with X (43 won't stop cropping up. it feels like being yelled at to CHOOSE YOUR PATH when I'm asking which path to choose).

instead, i followed the advice to open my heart to Yi's guidance.
this was the result.
"i am open to guidance"

Hexagram 22, Beauty​

22.gif


Key Questions​

How can you make the essence visible to others?
What do you choose to communicate?

Oracle​

'Beauty. Creating success.
Small yield from having a direction to go.'

Image​

'Below the mountain is fire: Beauty.
A noble one brings light to the many standards, but does not venture to pass judgement.'


Sequence​

Beauty follows from Hexagram 21, Biting Through:
'Things cannot carelessly unite and be completed, and so Beauty follows. Beauty means adorning.'


Changing Lines​

Line 1​

'Making your feet beautiful.
Putting away the carriage and going on foot.'

Line 6​

'White beauty.
No mistake.'


Hexagram 15, Integrity​

15.gif


Key Questions​

What is the simple reality?
How might you return to a state of balance?
What if it didn't all depend on you?

Oracle​

'Integrity creates success.
A noble one completes it.'


To experience Integrity is like coming face to face with your real self – plain, simple and unadorned. To have Integrity is to be whole, at one with yourself and with reality. It means being honest about your own capacities, holding yourself in creative balance with your world and not exaggerating the importance of your role.
The commentary is moving and seems eloquent with Mercury currently retrograding in Libra, and recurrently seeing angel numbers 2222 and 22 on the trip.

My interpretation is that Yi is offering a chance to develop discernment to distinguish between beautiful ideas and images, fantasies of who people (including myself) might be, and "what remains" when these embellishments fall away. I.e. have fun playing around, but don't forget to come back to yourself.
Maybe to see when I am chasing pretty people who are not quite "there," or acting like one myself.

the follies of youthful idealism? :LOL:maybe its time to stop fooling around so much with romance and settle back into art-making.
 

kestrelw1ngs

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while i'm here:
I cast a final reading while hung up on the melancholy. S is not the first person this pattern has played out with, and I keep feeling people from my past crop up to reconnect only to disappear again, or new people turn out to be unavailable. while aware this is the kind of person i am also behaving as, my inner intentions are usually very intense, committed and sincere. i hold them back out of wariness that there will not be reciprocity.
so i asked
"what is the inner reason I keep 'getting dropped'?"

and received
11.1.6>18

11. Passing Through​

Line 1:​

Pulling out grass with entangled roots, because it has accumulated.
Going brings good fortune.

Removing something that has accumulated and is now in the way, weeding it out by the root. Under the surface, things may be more entangled than one thought. One can move on and things will go well.

Line 6:​

The city wall falls back into the moat.
The army should not be used.
Personally inform the city of its fate.
Persistence is inadequate.

Being in a vulnerable position, without adequate defenses. One cannot undertake things that require being strong. It is important to be fully aware of the situation. It is not a good idea to keep acting as if one isn't vulnerable.



Hexagram is changing to:​

18. Corruption​

Corruption.
A foundation for progress.
It is beneficial to cross the big river.
Before the date three days,
after the date three days.

There is deterioration. Remedying it will make further progress possible. It is a good idea to do take on this large undertaking. One must prepare well, and keep a keen eye on how things are going.
 

dfreed

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"what will be the result of taking this trip (with X)?"
15.2.3.5.6 > 59.

Much of what you're sharing here is confusing to me, e.g. I don't know how you go from 22 to 15, especially since you start your inquiry with 15, as I copied above .... and I don't sense how this reading is about "beauty, self and dissolution" - but that doesn't really matter, since it's your reading; and I'm only trying to interpret what it saying ....

I'm not making any moral judgment on what looks like your 'juggling' of S and X, but it seems you were not happy with S being a bit cool towards you (and then having another love interest) and ... at the same time you were also not happy with X being more affectionate and loving towards you. (Did I understand that correctly?) So where does that leave you - and what are we to make of it?

One name for Hexagram 15 is "Wed-Wing" - it describes a mythic bird with only one wing, so it can only fly around in circles - unless it unites with ('weds') another, and then they can fly off in whatever direction(s) they want to.

With 15 and it's changing lines: we have trigram (three-line figure) Mountain below - changing to Water, and trigram Earth above - changing to Wind.

I think of you as being represented by the lower trigram: in this situation you are stuck (mountain), and despite your being with multiple people, I think you need to be willing to exposure yourself, perhaps to let love in, and even risk getting hurt (water) It may also be that you need to pick a direction to go in (or someone or ones to be with) - as water moves in one direction (downward).

Earth above could be X: they are willing to be caring and real with you, but perhaps - just like S - they might be (or eventually will be) looking at other possibilities? It could also mean that you need to look at ways of being with others that mirror their care and willingness to be real with you.

One phrase from the moving lines which stood out for me is 15.5:
"You will not prosper on account of your neighbor."

This makes me wonder if you are looking for some sort of contentment or security (to 'prosper') outside of yourself when you're 'neighbors' - X, S, and others - may never be able to provide this for you.

Best, D

PS - Taoscopy is whatever it is, but it is not the Yijing. Personally, I would not rely on it if it's the Yi I want to consult.
 
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kestrelw1ngs

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Much of what you're sharing here is confusing to me, e.g. I don't know how you go from 22 to 15, especially since you start your inquiry with 15, as I copied above .... and I don't sense how this reading is about "beauty, self and dissolution" - but that doesn't really matter, since it's your reading; and I'm only trying to interpret what it saying ....

I'm not making any moral judgment on what looks like your 'juggling' of S and X, but it seems you were not happy with S being a bit cool towards you (and then having another love interest) and ... at the same time you were also not happy with X being more affectionate and loving towards you. (Did I understand that correctly?) So where does that leave you - and what are we to make of it?
I appreciate the response without moral judgment. Its an odd situation I never expected to find myself in and would not repeat, that seems to have come about due to inner confusion on my part.
At any rate, yes.
Its less that I am unhappy with the increased affection from X and more that I am surprised.

The feeling is unpleasant because for a long time in the relationship I have felt quite neglected emotionally, which is a familiar feeling in my relationships. I could not practically 'give up' on the relationship without risking homelessness, and still loved her. So I accepted my position, which left me in a half-in-half-out state which became almost comfortable. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and some kind of opportunity out of the situation.

The fling with S largely happened due to the emotional validation and warmth they provided - our romantic involvement began in a period of time I received hex 27 often, and was feeling lacking in that emotional nourishment. S was in a similar situation. Perhaps I had a fantasy of them sort of "rescuing" me but Yi warned me this was just a fantasy as they live far away.
They have not necessarily become cool towards me, but their attention is clearly captured by this other person who A. lives near them and B. is emotionally available. Having felt my feelings, I am now quite glad for them to have such a nice connection and am moving on.

With X - the sudden affection came after I opened up to her that I felt she was no longer in love with me. I expected things to end, but instead she became warm and reassuring. SO my expectations were subverted and I now have to deal with fears/anxieties about commitment. It opens up the question of trust - do I trust this warmth to last? Is it just a response of guilt or fear of losing me?

I can't know but I do know this week I've received 47 (and 47.6) multiple times when asking about my anxieties. It seems I may need some time to let the change take root and see how I feel now.

I'm emotionally exhausted from the up & down, and my own expectations being upended.
One name for Hexagram 15 is "Wed-Wing" - it describes a mythic bird with only one wing, so it can only fly around in circles - unless it unites with ('weds') another, and then they can fly off in whatever direction(s) they want to.

With 15 and it's changing lines: we have trigram (three-line figure) Mountain below - changing to Water, and trigram Earth above - changing to Wind.

I think of you as being represented by the lower trigram: in this situation you are stuck (mountain), and despite your being with multiple people, I think you need to be willing to exposure yourself, perhaps to let love in, and even risk getting hurt (water) It may also be that you need to pick a direction to go in (or someone or ones to be with) - as water moves in one direction (downward).
This feels a good interpretation to me. The direction seems pretty clear but I need to feel it internally in order to do what it will require.

Earth above could be X: they are willing to be caring and real with you, but perhaps - just like S - they might be (or eventually will be) looking at other possibilities? It could also mean that you need to look at ways of being with others that mirror their care and willingness to be real with you.

One phrase from the moving lines which stood out for me is 15.5:
"You will not prosper on account of your neighbor."

This makes me wonder if you are looking for some sort of contentment or security (to 'prosper') outside of yourself when you're 'neighbors' - X, S, and others - may never be able to provide this for you.

Best, D
Thank you. I do think this may be it - more of a "if you can't be happy with yourself how can you be happy with another" sort of deal.

Currently my plan is to take a retreat into nature for a bit and address those "tangling weeds" as suggested by latest reading, 47.2.3.6 > 33
1633827164525.png

Love and all its feeling of risk. What can you do but make a choice and see what happens!
PS - Taoscopy is whatever it is, but it is not the Yijing. Personally, I would not rely on it if it's the Yi I want to consult.
Ah, it is a site used for analysis of Yi readings, https://taoscopy.com/en/hexa/15
I find it very clarifying often when getting "lost in the weeds" or details of a reading.
 

kestrelw1ngs

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Much of what you're sharing here is confusing to me, e.g. I don't know how you go from 22 to 15, especially since you start your inquiry with 15, as I copied above .... and I don't sense how this reading is about "beauty, self and dissolution" - but that doesn't really matter, since it's your reading; and I'm only trying to interpret what it saying ....
Ah, I see the confusion.
I received two different casts, 15>59 about the specific situation of going on a trip with X (which is when she became more warm and open), and 22>15 when I asked the Yi for general guidance.

the "beauty, self and dissolution" ....not really sure either :p trying to make sense of the connection between 22, 15, 59 in my life atm. so went off their associations to me: "appearances" "authentic self" and "dissolving"

sometimes I tend to get lost in trying to weave it all together instead of just absorbing the main message from Yi
 

dfreed

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I received two different casts, 15>59 about the specific situation of going on a trip with X (which is when she became more warm and open)
Okay. I responded to this one question then. I hope something I shared is of interest or use to you.
 

dfreed

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dfreed said: PS - Taoscopy is whatever it is, but it is not the Yijing. Personally, I would not rely on it if it's the Yi I want to consult.
Ah, it is a site used for analysis of Yi readings, https://taoscopy.com/en/hexa/15
I find it very clarifying often when getting "lost in the weeds" or details of a reading.

I get that, but what T-scope is presenting is not really based on the words of the Yijing - it is only his 'comments' about the Yi (and he/she has acknowledged this). I am very suspect of much of what he shares, even if it does sound nice. For me, it may be inspiring, etc. but so is sharing a quote from MLK or Socrates, or a poem, or talking about a tarot card reading - all good stuff, but not the Yi.
 

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