22.2.3 Who can I talk to so I don't feel so lost in life?

[slowcheetah]

First post. Hello everyone! I've been consulting the I-Ching for about two years now. I've learned a lot by myself but sometimes I feel like I really don't understand it. And in this moment of my life I really need to understand it so I guess I'll be writing here often. Anyways, I asked "Who can I talk to so I don't feel so lost in life?"and got 22.2.3. I grasped "somebody who works hard to achieve beautiful things" but that sounds a little bit too simple.

 

[Liselle]

22.2
'Making your hair beautiful.'

22.3
'Beautiful, as if dipped in water. Ever-flowing constancy, good fortune.'

Once I asked a "who" question, received hexagram 9, Small Farming (with or without lines, I don't remember) and eventually figured out it must mean the person I know who's an avid gardener. So readings like this might be very literal.

But it might also be more figurative, describing qualities to look for, or something like that.

For example, 22.2 could describe someone who's very patient. (Hair grows slowly.)

On the other hand, 22.3 seems to describe a faster, more transient lustre. A stone might look more beautiful when it's gleaming from being dipped in water. But the water evaporates quickly.

There's probably many ways to think about that imagery, and to try finding real-life applications. One that comes to mind is perhaps you need both kinds of "making beautiful" - a long-term solution (22.2) but also a short-term quick fix (22.3). Maybe you can find both in the same helper, or maybe you need two different people (groups, activities, resources)?

 

[slowcheetah]

Thanks a lot Liselle About being literal: I was trying to avoid focusing on the word "beautiful", since I'm an Arts graduate (it would be silly if the Yi was saying "talk to an artist!" because I know a lot of them). But when I read "making beauiful" in your response I also thought about people in the beauty business. I've been having issues with my image and my self-esteem. Perhaps it means it would really benefit me to look for a stylist (beyond having better looks?)I will try to think figurative qualities. Thanks a lot again!

 

[Liselle]

An actual hair stylist - could be!

Are you a man or a woman? I can't tell from your username.

Asking because - maybe - the lines could even be seen as advice to literally color your hair, and usually women do that more than men.

Yi: "Making your hair beautiful."
Us: "How?"
Yi: "Dip it in something to give it sheen and pretty color" (hair dye)

Having said that - it's hard to see how coloring your hair (or something like that) could help you feel less lost in life. That sounds too serious for hair color to fix. But who knows. Maybe one thing would lead to another.

Would you be willing to explain a little more? In what way do you feel lost? Career? Family? (No guarantee more detail would help us with your reading, of course.)

 

[Liselle]

Oh - you mentioned "image," having issues with your image. "Image" is perfect for hexagram 22, that fits really well.

The relating hexagram for your reading is 41, Decreasing (sacrifice, offering, pouring out). I'm trying to think how that might apply... perhaps, do you shortchange "image" things (beauty, clothes, etc.) for financial reasons, or because you think it's a waste of time, or silly, or other such attitudes we sometimes think we "should" have towards our appearance? If so, maybe Yi's saying that a little offering along those lines is exactly what you need.

It doesn't have to be much. 41 says this:

'Decreasing: there is truth and confidence.
From the source, good fortune.
Not a mistake, there can be constancy.
Fruitful to have a direction to go.
How to use this?
Two simple baskets may be used for the offering.'

The underlined part means that you don't have to sacrifice or offer more than you can afford.

(And again, this is if the reading is about something literal, which I certainly don't know.)

 

[slowcheetah]

I am a woman in my twenties. As said before, I recently finished Art School. I'm looking for a job and and a place to live in like most people my age, but I've also gone through a lot of really difficult situations the last few years. These situations led me and my family (as in, my mother and my younger sister) to learn to be alone and strong because we didn't have no choice. And we do and we do it well and I feel proud of that. But there are times when you just can't make it on your own, right? There's mom, but she's tired and she needs help too and I wouldn't bother her with my existencial issues. My grandpa was a really wise man and he could sit and talk with me but he died just two months ago.As for the personal image thing: I've never felt confident about my looks. I'm one of those stereotypical ugly women, like, they called me "ugly betty" in high school because I looked like her. I didn't really care because I mostly rely on my "smarts" to feel confident. But then I moved from the city to a small town for college. In the city, people mostly don't care how you look but the people in small towns, this one specifically, have both the money and the time to take proper care of their appearance. So I got bullied by friends and some other people to the point I just couldn't bare it. And then it happened that I had this boyfriend that was lovely but still cared an awful lot about appearances. He was studying to be a lawyer so he always wore fancy shoes and expensive shirts and well, I was his Art school girlfriend with cargo boots and stained t-shirts. He wasn't really mean to me but he did make "casual comments" or didn't invite me to his Law School parties. So the whole relationship I struggled a lot saving for dresses and learning to wear unconfortable shoes, and when he cut me out apparently for no reason I could only think he did it because of my looks. Both this and the bullying felt terrible and led to some kind of breakdown: My self esteem crashed like a falling airplane and it has been really hard to get it back to normal.This happened some months ago and I think I am okay with it but I still think sometimes that my life would drastically improve if I had a makeover or something like that. I don't agree with the idea, as most of the things I love about myself don't really have to do with my body but...there, that's why beauty may be important here.Sorry for the long reply.

 

[slowcheetah]

It doesn't have to be much. 41 says this:'Decreasing: there is truth and confidence. From the source, good fortune. Not a mistake, there can be constancy. Fruitful to have a direction to go. How to use this? Two simple baskets may be used for the offering.' The underlined part means that you don't have to sacrifice or offer more than you can afford.

Yes! That would be it. (Sorry, I just read this reply.)

 

[Trojina]

First post. Hello everyone! I've been consulting the I-Ching for about two years now. I've learned a lot by myself but sometimes I feel like I really don't understand it. And in this moment of my life I really need to understand it so I guess I'll be writing here often. Anyways, I asked "Who can I talk to so I don't feel so lost in life?"and got 22.2.3. I grasped "somebody who works hard to achieve beautiful things" but that sounds a little bit too simple.

It might be a literal answer, as discussed and it might not be. I always lean to seeing the answer as very directly to the querent, and here I feel it's asking you "Is talking to someone really the solution to not feeling lost in life ?"

In 22 one hasn't much of a perspective, indeed it is associated with near sightedness (got that from Bradford I think). Fire on mountain makes fleeting pictures and shadows which can give one a particular view, an aesthetic but is not something to rely on for things that require more in depth understanding. I don't say that in a derogatory sense to 22 (sorry 22 ) surfaces and near sightedness are at times exactly a guide to what is needed. ( See Bradford's mountain goat, will link to 22 thread https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...e-on-Hexagram-22-as-an-expression-of-grace%85) and also making our own surfaces reveal who we are is important...but with you question here of who to talk to in order not to feel lost ? Well as I say are you sure talking to someone will make you feel less lost ?

You didn't write in the relating hexagram which is an important part of the answer. Indeed it is as much the answer as the primary and the lines. Here it is 41. So you have Adorning's Decrease. My overall impression is you could pour less energy into the idea of needing someone to speak to and far less energy into feeling lost. Indeed looking at line 3 I wonder if what you call 'lost' is something else altogether ? 22.2 is often where one pays homage to the form of things so I'm thinking you believe the way through your feeling lost is to talk to someone because that's what is generally recommended to lost people but I think this answer throws a question on that idea. I also feel there was a preceeding question you might have asked along the lines of perhaps advice about the feelings you now experience ?

I'm not sure my response is entirely coherent but I do think it's worth considering the idea that someone to talk to won't make you feel less lost but the feeling of lostness itself is worth exploring for in the heart of that, what that is might be a gift of some kind and I say that because of the lovely line 3.

I think 41 says you really don't need to throw huge amounts of remedying your way, which implies to me although you feel lost you aren't nearly as lost as you think you are. If your sense of lostness were not a heavy hindrance what else might it be ? Could it even be something beautiful ? Have you ever made art through a sense of lostness ?

I have come to think looking back that that sense of being lost is in itself the very guide you can use as your own compass.

 

[Liselle]

Looking at 22.3 from the perspective Trojina's describing is actually a pretty good description of how I personally have experienced "talking to someone" - it helps in the moment, probably as more-or-less a distraction, but doesn't help in the long term.

It probably depends on the individuals and the circumstances, though. If someone else ends up providing a fresh perspective - "oh, wait, I never thought about it that way" or something - that might help. But a pat on the back, a hug, a listening ear, no matter how sincere and well-intentioned, might not make much difference in itself.

But it depends, on you, on who the other person/people would be, the sheer luck of "the right person at the right time" - it's really hard to say.

As far as the literal appearance angle - if that's even what Yi's trying to say - I wonder if 41 could mean a happy medium? I think it's dangerous to make too much out of the little bit anyone can tell us in a thread - having said that, could there be a middle ground between dresses and high heels on the one hand, and grubby t-shirts on the other?

Another angle - as you said, a lot of people struggle after college. "Now what?!" Even for people who have a job lined up before graduation - it's still a big adjustment. And for those who don't, it's probably inevitable to feel lost. Add a relationship break-up to that - no wonder you feel as you do. I wonder if Yi might be saying this is just temporary (22.3) and with time things will grow into a better state (22.2)?

(That's kind of a backwards way to interpret line 3, though. Line 3 seems to be about putting a glossy sheen on something ordinary, and what I just said is more the reverse of that...)

 

[Liselle]

Another thought - just in case Yi's answer isn't literally a person to talk to - do you have any outlet for your own art, any means to pursue it now that you're out of school?

I wonder if 22 > 41 could be a suggestion to find some way to do that, and it might help? Make a small "offering" (41) of your art (22) in some way? I don't know what kind of art you do or how that might apply.

 

[slowcheetah]

What I get now as a general idea is that the Yi is telling me to get to work. I wasn't really looking for a pat in the back though, I was thinking about getting some clarity. Anyways, thank you both Trojina and Liselle. I guess now I have a lot to do.