22.4 help with interpretation

[hebe]

Hello she says sheepishly - I almost dread putting a post up here as I feel that I am asking alot of you all at the moment for help - but there has been something still just nagging away at me and that's the not knowing whether I am saying goodbye on the
18th Jan to our marriage when he leaves - not knowing whether to grieve its loss or aim high and keep the home fires burning.. I still love him and he me, but I just don't know where we stand in the long run.

I asked the I Ching 'what is best for me in this marriage?' thinking of all the above really - am I letting go or am I holding strong while he does what he needs to do. I suppose I wanted to have a guide as to what is really happening. I got 22:4 leading to 30 and when I read Peters interpretation in a thread a while ago - it was quite relevant - or at least I would hope so. He talked about line 4 - (not sure if I can get a quote from an old thread to here) being about the uncertainty of the querent and the choice you have - to dwell on the negative or the simpler path of the positive - and the love - who is coming from heart & truth, will return and woo you & all will be well. That's one interpretaion and then very recently on the threads here, by tifa and circe the line was talking about initial loss and then future gain & being true to your path. It leaves me wondering if this is still my husband that is being talked about or whether this is the loss of the marriage, but there is a better outcome in the end. When I read the various interpretations in the books I have I felt quite hopeful whatever the outcome as it seems a positive reading whatever happens.

Line 4 in 22 does seem to be answering about love and marriage, so it would be good to get it right to add to my melting pot of answers I've had recently. Do you have a thought in relation to this question? I think that will then tie the threads together of my situation and how best to respond to it all with the insight of the I Ching. Thank you.

 

[AnitaS]

My I Ching on Love:

You are aware that the trappings of high society lack depth of meaning and already your thoughts are travelling to higher aspirations than social recognition. You can have a great time cavorting among acquaintances but you know you'll miss your true friends.

Hope this helps.

 

[literunner]

Hi Hebe,
I got this line in the past related to a similar matter-- I have found it can mean you are hesitating about joining in with a relationship that would be very beneficial to you, that can accomplish good things for both of you and that it's ok to commit if you are in it for the right reasons, unselfish reasons to benefit both people honestly, and you are going to see it through for the long haul, not to see things as a flash in the pan. In my case joining into the relationship full force and bringing my best self to it yielded an amazing alliance that still continues to this day.
Hope that helps.
LR

 

[hebe]

Really had to think about that Love I Ching Circe - back to that in a minute.

LR - Thanks very much for your help- it gives me great encouragement to expand my thinking- we've been married for 11 years on Jan 29th & virtually joined at the hip for all those years - as the very very best of friends as well as everything else. Am I hesitating about this now? Well, I suppose he is and that's why he's going off for such a deep adventure & challenge without being able to commit to coming back. Although this is for entirely personal reasons for his spirit and lack of fulfillment and not because of another woman. I hadn't hesitated before at all in all our years - not once & I think I can honestly say that from my heart. I suppose now in this last week when we're packing to go & leaving this lovely place & job, our stress levels are high & arguments rampant - me in tears alot & him touchy - & I've been thinking that maybe this was all underneath anyway & that we're just too 'together' all of the time to make this work long term. So, until this week it hasn't been my hesitation & it certainly hasn't been a flash inthe pan - 11 years of deep care. - I know many would say well he can't love you that deeply if he can't commit to coming back - but I think he has reasons beyond my reasoning that are needing that complete freedom in order to make the whole thing more purposeful somehow.

The love I ching seems to refer to perhaps my meeting someone else who offers the things that my husband can't or hasn't - maybe a more reliable foundation, house, money etc which in my sudden 'lack' might be very tempting - but I think it is asking me to look deeper at what is at the heart of our marriage which is about allowing the other to grow. (even though I find it very painful) Does this make sense? I'm getting more from this question with your help. Truly appreciated to you both, Hebe

 

[literunner]

Hi Hebe,
Yes, I've been reading your posts about this for a few months and am offering support across the virtual web...
From Sarah Dening's book:
22.4 honesty and simplicity are what matter most now. Deep and true friendship with someone loyal and trustworthy is far more important than chasing after the glittering prizes of life.
And from Hillary's book:
22.4 A beautiful, dazzling energy makes its entrance like a suitor coming for his bride. This is a time to express conviction, to get started and explore. New possibilities shine brightly and you might suspect it as a fake, but it's real as a way to start new possibilities. Join with the new energy as you won't lose anything in the encounter, there is the potential for great gains -- in clarity of intention, in energy and in expansion through partnership.

So in reading especially Hillary's text, I'm seeing that perhaps be of the same conviction that your husband is about this adventure -- that is, don't hesitate to join in with him as co-suitors in this venture, knowing that this will bring your partnership into new realms for the future and a wonderful new bond between you, that you will both get more clarity about what you intend in your partnership, leading to expansion in your marriage.
Does that ring true at all?
LR

 

[hebe]

Crikey.. the first thing I thought of when I read that second piece - was of someone else coming in .. and if I had read that alone without help with the interpretation then that is what I would have thought the I Ching was expressing. It's good to see and read your thoughts and that also helps me to understand my own feelings deep down about all this upheaval and my own resistance to change.
Its going to be like going into the storm and then hopefully learning so much about myself and how to stand on my own two feet. So that's the way I can now read 'joining in with the new energy' - and the potential for great gains I should write on a piece of paper & stick in my pocket when I feel that sadness. Sadness at leaving here - the cottage, lovely employers, their (my) dogs and all. We leave on the 14th - but its good to know their is virtual support out there and also so much family/friends support - and I trust the I Ching - so althought the 'path is not going to be easy', all I've ever heard about this over the last few months is, in the end, positive. I'll keep you posted. Huge thanks, Hebe

 

[literunner]

Hi Hebe,
Yes, whenever I have gotten 22.4, it's meant to comfort me to interact positively into making something great with the person I'm asking about, not indicating a new person. So I would agree with you that it's about your marriage and your husband and expanding your partnership by joining in with him in a way you've resisted before. Go full guns and for the long haul with him on this, and let him know you are investing in it with him, that you feel it will lead to great things TOGETHER, and do let us know how it goes.
(and again, from my own experience with this a year ago, me and the person I partnered with made large, wonderful gains, created some amazing things together, as a team, and have developed a lasting friendship that would not have been had I not joined with the new energy.)
Hugs,
LR

 

[hebe]

Ok! What a great energy to start this new phase with - can feel it in my bones already! Yes, will keep you posted as the year progresses - and for now have got good strength for whatever we create next. I can't tell you how grateful I am for your insights LR - its made a massive difference to how I perceive things - which always have an affect on the outcome. If I'm really down about something and draw a card that says 'find your power, joy is just a breath away for you etc' - it has the ability to actually change my day and energy totally into something positive - (so receptive am I to outside influence!! but at least I can do it... next step .. do it on my own! ) THANK YOU. Hebe