22.4 Why haven't I gotten married yet?

[Gaia99]

I'm 35, single and I haven't had many suitors...which everyone finds strange since I'm considered very nice, attractive and intelligent. In my early twenties I was married for a few years, deeply in love but alcoholism/addiction separated our paths forever. Although 6 yrs. ago for a brief 6 wks. true love found me again...only to become entangled with heinous intercontinental legalities that prevented us to stay in communication (it would be a dream come true if we reunited). I have tried moving on with honor and hopeless romanticism, only to find ruin and shame with men that I've currently paid mind to. I was hoping the I Ching could lend me some light...

My question was: "Why haven't I gotten married yet?!
22.4

There's talk of a suitor here...is it from the past...or new hope for the present...it talks of a robber being a suitor...this guy I dated 3 yrs. was found stalking me last Fall...he's in love w/me, although I highly doubt he's for my highest good and I hope the I ching is not referring to him...then there's my recent ex who betrayed me wickedly this past winter...don't want him coming back.
Any suggestions or clarity?

Thanks for letting me share and be blessed :bows:

 

[Sixth Relative]

Hi Gaia

There are obstacles and delays, making you doubt of yourself, but it's not your fault; eventually, you'll be able to overcome those obstacles, probably with some unexpected help. I would say the Yijing even gave you a nice compliment on your personal worth.

Wish you all the best

 

[Gaia99]

Thank you!!! I deeply appreciate your kindness

I asked the I Ching what are the obstacles preventing me getting married to a true love... I got 63.1
LOL yea I can see the foolishness in me paying attention to guys who weren't at all deserving of me, as major distractions...I'm not going to let that happen anymore, no matter how lonely I get!

 

[springflower]

Relationships have been so difficult. There are a lot of lonely people outside there. My best friend use to say men kill our days. True.

Wish you best luck and live as a miracle is going to happen...

 

[mirian]

My question was: "Why haven't I gotten married yet?!
22.4

What is the matter with hex 22! I did a reading many years ago for a dear friend of mine, who was in a very similar position as you are (lovely person, attractive, single), and she got hexagram 22 and one of her lines was 4 as well. So, based on my experience with hex 22 (and the aforementioned reading) this is my view.

There is something here about superficiality: looking at appearances, not going beyond the surface, trying to find perfection based on what people/things look like, not what they really are, deep down. And this viewpoint leads to errors of judgement and opportunities being missed.

Applied to romantic situations, the person represented by hex 22 is much more likely to go for Mr Cool, rather than for Mr Ordinary I am obviously doing a bit of stereotyping, but I think you get the picture.

You want to know why you haven't married yet, and I believe that the I Ching is saying to you: You haven't because you are making wrong choices based on a Hex 22 point of view. And the advice contained on line 4 is: drop all of that and go back to basics, go back to simplicity in terms of relationships. Value real partnership instead of fancy appearances or situations. Start finding out qualities and character in men that in the past you wouldn't even have had a second look at.

Hope it makes sense and helps a bit:bows:

 

[loverofknowledge]

Hi, 22.4: it is not a raider who woos
That is to say: seek somebody who does not rob you of your dignity.
relating hexagram 30: cultivate your inner fire, enthusiasm, and life force so that it radiates to attract desirable partners.
22 speaks to me of combining style with substance, so that the inner person has integrity, reflected by appearances. Seek a mate like that.
Trust yourself and your own integrity. Do not compromise it.

 

[rosada]

22.4 refers a beautiful knight in shinning armor who is not a robber.

I think the I Ching is being very pragmatic here. You could have married but the reason you didn't is because you are holding out for a soulmate - not gonna settle for some jerk stalker.

Maybe you should ask something like, "What should I do to connect with a loving partner?"

 

[Tim K]

I agree with mirian and loverofknowledge, and rosada described the advice from the opposite pov.

So let's look at the lines:
22.4 → 30 (Shining), Legge:
Shows one looking as if adorned, but only in white.
As if (mounted on) a white horse, and furnished with wings, (he seeks union with the subject of the first line),
while (the intervening third pursues), not as a robber, but intent on a matrimonial alliance.

The first line shows a simple, true guy that you want
22.1 → 52 (Keeping Still), Crowley: Adorn thy feet, and have no need of horses.

While the 3rd one shows, guess who ?
22.3 → 27 (Nourishment), Richmond:
His adornment is moist and glistening.
A flashy guy which wants your attention, tries to seduce you.

Daniels gives a good advice, 22.3 Substance is more important than packaging.
And this is the message nicely portrayed in .4 . Good job Yi

I can see the foolishness in me paying attention to guys who weren't at all deserving of me, as major distractions

Yes exactly, you've got it right.

Pay more attention to the substance, to inner character, how he treats you, what are his values etc.
And ignore the pompous princes who get in your way.

 

[Sixth Relative]

22.4 → 30 (Shining), Legge:
Shows one looking as if adorned, but only in white.
As if (mounted on) a white horse, and furnished with wings, (he seeks union with the subject of the first line),
while (the intervening third pursues), not as a robber, but intent on a matrimonial alliance.

Hi ashteroid

This is one of the cases where Legge did terribly wrong as translator.

The text of the line doesn't include "first line" nor "intervening third pursues". The text of the small image on the line doens't include "the third line pursues not as a robber, but intent on marriage". The one looking for marriage in the real text is not the third line but the fourth.

Legge got all this from a much much latter comment on the line; which understood the doubts of line 4th arisen because lines 2 and 3 intervene. But even on those comments, line 3 doens't pursue marriage but is the one helping line 4 to remain loyal to line 1 and thus getting them marriage. Line 3 is not a distractor but a helper; an unexpedcted one, sometimes.

 

[Tim K]

You mean like this
22.4 → 30 (Shining), Richmond:
A white horse with wings. Not a robber, a suitor.

Takashima's version is also a short one:
Is embellished yet is white. A white horse is running; it does not [intend to] attack, but wishes to marry.

Well I think the message is the same: a simple guy who is good for you is being overlooked (feared) and ignored.

 

[loverofknowledge]

I tend to trust the Living I Ching translation (though it sometimes follows later traditions, I understand), in which this translation is found, confirming Sixth Relative's observation, I believe:

Line 4 comment: As beautiful as a white-feathered horse. It is not a raider who woos.

 

[Sixth Relative]

Not necesarily the same, ashteroid


It seems like you, and others here, are seeing the text of the line as describing Gaia fearing/doubting the "right one". The suitor-not-a-robber as someone to come. That is one valid take, of course. With Legge's translation this is reinforced because it is easier to see the 4th line being distracted from the right one (line 1) by the pursuing wrong one (3rd line). Without Legge's translation, all that reference is gone.


But, what if the Yijing is not talking about a third-party to come but about and to Gaia? What if the suitor-not-a-robber is not other than Gaia herself (she is a nice and fine suitor but somehow she's not been seing as such)? What if the answer points that even Gaia is starting to doubt of herself and the Yi is responding to that with a nice compliment and hope?

Of course, from a text-based perspective we couldn't say. From a WWG perspective, in 22zhi30 we have a total combination (good sign) becoming a total conflict (bad sign). How this is happening? In 22zhi30 the line representing her is Mao (wood) with the relative Husband attached (meaning she wants to marry a man) and the active line is Xu (earth, the tomb of wood) with Sibbling (either helpers or competitors); the active line moves in combination with the line representing her, but the changed line clashes with the line representing her. Something in her social enviroment is shacling her and ultimately hurting her chances to marry. But eventually, the helper/competitor (or a surprising help) will be efffective to open the tomb and release her. Then, the obstacles and delays she's facing would be overcome.

 

[Sixth Relative]

ps

The question was about the cause, the root. From a WWG perspective, the cause is found in the original active line 4th: the sibbling. The cause doens't lie in her; the cause doesn't lie in her partner; the cause is found in her social environment.

 

[Gaia99]

Dear Springflower,
"Live as a miracle is going to happen"
Is THE BEST advice on dealing with life's struggles!!!
Change the perspective, change the opportunity...No doubt!
Thanks so much for that fierce reminder Bless.
:bows:

Dear Mirian,
That seems like a very sound 22.4 general assessment (especially with society's programming on placing more importance on outward appearances) ...although for my particular case for many years I've been already open to ordinary men and I've always been more into the depth of a person's soul and more concerned with their inner workings. Although a great advice nonetheless! Thank you, many blessings.
:bows:

Dear Loveofknowledge,

Hi, 22.4: it is not a raider who woos
That is to say: seek somebody who does not rob you of your dignity.
relating hexagram 30: cultivate your inner fire, enthusiasm, and life force so that it radiates to attract desirable partners.
22 speaks to me of combining style with substance, so that the inner person has integrity, reflected by appearances. Seek a mate like that.
Trust yourself and your own integrity. Do not compromise it.

Now this truly resonated with me...thank you so much for that eloquent and clear breakdown! I will indeed focus on cultivating my life force more to attract others. Integrity is HUGE for me in a partner. I must stay away from those who rob me of my dignity.

I tend to trust the Living I Ching translation (though it sometimes follows later traditions, I understand), in which this translation is found, confirming Sixth Relative's observation, I believe:

Line 4 comment: As beautiful as a white-feathered horse. It is not a raider who woos.

I'm now going to get the Living I-Ching translations Divine Willling Thanks again!
:bows:

Dear Rosada,

I think the I Ching is being very pragmatic here. You could have married but the reason you didn't is because you are holding out for a soulmate - not gonna settle for some jerk stalker.

Maybe you should ask something like, "What should I do to connect with a loving partner?"

Exactly I AM holding out for a soulmate...I refuse to settle!
Thank you so much for your words ...it's hard out there.

I asked the I Ching, What should I do to connect with a loving partner? I got: 16.5 lol
I think I need to refocus in making myself brilliant and not let being single get to me. For me to working on the solution...and let it go

:bows:

Dear Ashteroid,

"I can see the foolishness in me paying attention to guys who weren't at all deserving of me, as major distractions"

Yes exactly, you've got it right.

Pay more attention to the substance, to inner character, how he treats you, what are his values etc.
And ignore the pompous princes who get in your way.

For awhile until recently I wasn't aware of how poorly a man treated me until after I already loved his soul...also ignoring their lack of integrity in the values they placed on things and situations...in the end I realized they were nothing more then pompous princes lol Excellent life advice!! THANKS

...although there is no guy I'm ignoring or fearing...other than stalkers, mental abusers, head gamers and players ahahaha
:bows:

 

[Gaia99]

You nailed it Sixth Relative! :bows:
Because you're right I'm not fearing/doubting anyone...but myself and I can relate on not being seen. Thanks so much for finding that golden compliment and hope for me It has made my day...it's not my fault and there's nothing wrong with me...thanks I needed to hear that today.
ALSO I've recently found an astrological blockage in my environment (astrocartography) in the area I live! DEEPLY PREVENTING me from romantic and financial abundance. I'm living under my Moon and Neptune lines: Which talks about how all my foundations are built on sand and how my relationships are the most difficult here and that it's hard for relationships to take off. People shouldn't want to live anywhere near this combination of planets...as the results are disastrous and miserable
So to my pleasant surprise your breakdown to my plight gave me more faith in the science of these planeterial forces at work...like you said "Something in her social enviroment is shacling her and ultimately hurting her chances to marry." I believe this may be it!!!

Hey but the good news is that I'm moving out of the country to abundant astrological lines in the next few months! So I'll be free of these environmental shackles

In deep gratitude.

P.S. I would like to know what WWG Perpective means and how do I study it?

It seems like you, and others here, are seeing the text of the line as describing Gaia fearing/doubting the "right one". The suitor-not-a-robber as someone to come. That is one valid take, of course. With Legge's translation this is reinforced because it is easier to see the 4th line being distracted from the right one (line 1) by the pursuing wrong one (3rd line). Without Legge's translation, all that reference is gone.


But, what if the Yijing is not talking about a third-party to come but about and to Gaia? What if the suitor-not-a-robber is not other than Gaia herself (she is a nice and fine suitor but somehow she's not been seing as such)? What if the answer points that even Gaia is starting to doubt of herself and the Yi is responding to that with a nice compliment and hope?

Of course, from a text-based perspective we couldn't say. From a WWG perspective, in 22zhi30 we have a total combination (good sign) becoming a total conflict (bad sign). How this is happening? In 22zhi30 the line representing her is Mao (wood) with the relative Husband attached (meaning she wants to marry a man) and the active line is Xu (earth, the tomb of wood) with Sibbling (either helpers or competitors); the active line moves in combination with the line representing her, but the changed line clashes with the line representing her. Something in her social enviroment is shacling her and ultimately hurting her chances to marry. But eventually, the helper/competitor (or a surprising help) will be efffective to open the tomb and release her. Then, the obstacles and delays she's facing would be overcome.

ps

The question was about the cause, the root. From a WWG perspective, the cause is found in the original active line 4th: the sibbling. The cause doens't lie in her; the cause doesn't lie in her partner; the cause is found in her social environment.

 

[Sixth Relative]

P.S. I would like to know what WWG Perpective means and how do I study it?

Oh, sorry... I forgot I didn't clarify that at the begining :bag:

WWG is for Wen Wang Gua, another way to interpret Yijing's readings. It doesn't use the text, but astrological symbols. In my experience, most of the time (95% more or less) it complements the info you get when you uses the text. Few times, it contradicts what you would understand from the text.

In this case, the text gives a valid understanding (a-suitor-not-a-robber, someone who is not appreciated as deserved); but it's not that clear WHO this suitor is ... is it a man to come or is it you? Then, looking not at the text but with the Wen Wang Gua symbols, one can see that the line representing you is shackled by the social environment. So, it is you the fine suitor-not-a-robber. Thus, WWG helpeld me to solve the ambiguity in the text for the line.

Wish you all kind of good things to come from your movement.

 

[Gaia99]

Wow that is so fascinating! Thanks again

 

[becalm]

...although there is no guy I'm ignoring or fearing...other than stalkers, mental abusers, head e gamers and players ahahaha

You and me both!! 12 years I’ve been without a partner and all I seem to meet are these types....

Did you ever meet someone decent?