26 unchanging and my big mouth!

[loulisnowdrop]

I've asked what effect a conversation has had and received 26 unchanging.

I'll give you the back story to my situation as it may help with interpretations or somebody may see something I 've missed.

Strange pickle to be in, mainly as a result of blinking social media, don't ya just love it!
I recently met a guy on a dating website and we've been seeing each other for a couple of months since. He's made it clear that he's not a fan of jumping headlong into anything quickly and at times I feel he's holding me at arm's length. About a week ago, I asked him what his opinion was of removing our profiles from the dating website. He said that it sounded a bit like a commitment to him. I wasn't overjoyed at his response but I've accepted it and I'm happy that he's being honest with me. I don't actually think he is dating anybody else as he chooses to tell me what he's up to when we're apart and most of his spare time he spends either with me or on the phone to me (by his own choice). I think he just likes to know he has the freedom to do as he chooses.

Anyway, the other night, my ex got in touch to say he was driving to a pub which I was going to and did I want a lift (we have mutual friends and there's no animosity between us) I accepted and during the ride, he told me that he knew I was seeing someone as friends had told him. He then went on to say that he'd seen the guy comment on my facebook status so looked at his profile to get more info about him then looked him up on google and found he has a profile on a dating site. He said that he feels sorry for me and not to worry because I'll find someone nice soon. He then patted me on the head! I was furious and told him that I knew my new guy has a dating profile and I don't need my ex acting as either a detective or a psychologist. Really, how dare he check up on people in this way, it is just not his place to do so!

Last night, my new guy asked why I seemed on edge so I told him about what had happened. I'm really wishing I hadn't opened my mouth now because I'm worrying that it will chase him away.

He reacted well in that he agreed my ex was being nosey and had no business snooping but I'm thinking that once he's sitting on his own and has a chance to think about it that he may look at it from other angles and react differently.

26 to me suggests containment of something but I'm not sure if this situation is all safely contained and doesn't matter or is it contained more like in a pressure cooker that needs some pressure releasing and a valve is about to blow? I don't want the situation to burst at the seams and I don't want my new guy to just bury his feelings and contain his emotions even more than he already does for fear of the snooping spotlight. What do you guys think?

I've had a look at other threads on here about 26 but many of them seem to be about learning from the past but I find it difficult to link that idea to my situation. The containment part I can understand but what is contained and how is it contained?

 

[1eleven]

"Eating away from home" could be a representation of the convo/circumstances itself or you could be invited to a family function of his. The effect is 'moving on' while remaining pure and upright. You can't change what happened so I wouldn't hang my head over this. Keep calm and carry on. It happened, now the particles will form into a mountain (foundation). What takes shape is up to you.

 

[loulisnowdrop]

Funny enough, we're going out for a meal tonight

Oh I'd so like things to be straight forward and easy and I try to be uncomplicated and drama free. The pat on the head was so patronising and my ex assumed I was upset by the situation. I have no idea about my exes motivations or thought processes when snooping and telling me of his findings but I'm hoping it was general nosiness and thoughtlessness.

I won't mention this to my new guy again unless he brings it up and as you say 1eleven, I'll march on with my best foot forward and see what foundation those particles form into.

 

[1eleven]

Definitely not cool on the part of your ex - just keep in mind they are his motivations and thought processes, not yours. People will do what they do, it's your choice to react to it or create something deeper and in line with your values. If you "try to be uncomplicated and drama free" you're trying and thinking about it. This implies effort. Simply be. Back off, take a breath and let the chips fall where they may. All the best. Please keep us all posted.

 

[loulisnowdrop]

When I say I try to be uncomplicated and drama free, I don't mean I make it my life's work, just that I choose the most simple drama free option if given the choice and that's how I prefer things to be
We went out for a meal with a group of friends last night and had a really nice time. Everything was light hearted and pleasant.
This morning however, he seemed really out of sorts and withdrawn. I asked if anything was wrong and he said no but remained quiet and moody. I didn't push the issue any further because even if there was something bothering him, he obviously didn't want to discuss it.
Now I'm home, I've asked yi what was wrong wit him and received 44.1.2>13 now that really doesn't sound good to me. Lines 1 and 2 both speak of evaluating your current situation and what is of value to you. I can't imagine a situation of being snooped on being of value to anybody. 13 is of union but not in a romantic sense, perhaps he wants to get together with neutral people and put the situation out of his mind for a bit.

 

[loulisnowdrop]

Well a little update to this. It seems that I was worrying without need (as things stand at the moment) Nothing seems to have changed and my new guy hasn't mentioned it since other than once to joke about it. I'm feeling pretty relaxed about things

 

[1eleven]

Thank you for the update - glad to hear!