28.1 to 43 What direction to take now?

[poised]

My 100 Days of Solitude after the final breakup with whazzhisname have become 120 days. In addition to our affair,we were engaged in a creative project which never got off the ground. I felt guilty about that, tho by the time the relationship was over, I wasn't really interested in the project either. I had invested much time in it; he had not. My ego was reluctant to admit defeat, to let it go, to rid myself of the illusion that I would JUST DO IT ALONE.

No, really I won't.

But now, at year's end, it's time to decide what to do next. Sitting around disengaging is getting very boring. And excessive. 28 indeed.

I could start a publishing consulting service. Been there, done that, did well enough but didn't enjoy it.

I am a certified Alexander Technique teacher. LOVE the work, but don't really love teaching.

I can write something else. Risky, to a certain extent, tho I have been published by major publishers. But those were works of nonfiction, and I don't really want to do that either.

Fiction? Well. Since I was 8 years old, I wanted to do that but am absolutely terrified that I won't succeed. :bag: I did start a few mss, threw out all but one, which I like very much, though I have exactly 10 completed pages. Terror in the heart, anxiety in the chest. Wow. Overreacting a little? Stage fright? That good old American "can do" spirit, which means you darned well better succeed. Or else!

I've been looking around all day for a 28.1 explanation that gives me a comprehensive and workable view. Found this at Thom Williams' "The Modern Poet's I Ching:"


http://janan.members.sonic.net/ching/main.html#28

Hexagram 28 True Freedom

DON'T BREAK A BROKEN HEART

Exactly when was it, what day, what year
When I stopped being who I was
And became who I am?

Overview

You are deep in your own Tao in this time. Old ways will be shed naturally as the seasons, and new dreams will materialize in quiet moments. Now all you imagined you could be is close around you. Take time to sit down by yourself and feel the powerful currents from which you draw your power. You cannot continue in the light-hearted social vein you have been enjoying. Naturally, people will drift along their own paths away from you, and you'll find new and important directions occurring to you.

Your freedom is complete. Secrets and visions will inspire your fantasies. Like the dark green shadows of a tall forest, you will feel the silences and spaces in life. Old, worn paths of guilt and illusion will seem vivid, but distant, and only the most perceptive of your friends will sense the gifts you are accumulating quickly inside. Until you get the feel of this time, you may be awed by the weight and vastness of all you have seen and felt. Be confident-you are of the earth-as free as the day the world began and as open-hearted.

Line 1

Go out of your way to be imaginative. Sympathy and gentleness will flow. Do the little things that show the world you are for real. "Do it up!" that is-go beyond your normal paths of action and reaction. Reach for the higher, the better, the "cooler." What romance is to life, you are to this line.\\

I don't know how this fits with traditional views, but Thom Williams is reading my heart. Unfortunately, I think he's no longer on the planet…maybe someone knows for sure?

Anyway, the underline sentence describes the reaction my children had to me when we met for Christmas. Apparently I look different, had "beautiful" vibes. Imagine that. Deep changes, and I know it too.

Overall, this reading speaks to the 8-year-old in my heart who's still hopeful that one day I will listen to her and write that fiction. A lot of preparation seems to be required, but I already know that. Outlines, character studies, meticulous research, rewriting and then rewriting again.

Bradford's 43 resonates too:

To understand where things begin and end is great power. To set yourself against a thing might exalt it or make you its victim. Credulity gives it weight, aggression gives it force, gossip gives it a voice and vagueness lends it a wit. Just a simple no will often suffice, or else high, truthful words at court, to get our unspeakable things truthfully named and back into proper perspective - and the rest of life pointed back in its proper direction. Until then we are not rational beings.

No drama. Just no to whazzisname and the project we envisioned. And my life pointed back in a direction that resonates with my inner child, who did not give one single hoot about doing something for anyone else. Writing something that would help people. Or even being a "good girl." She simply wanted to imagine stories. What could be as rational as that?

Your comments or insights would be much appreciated. Thanks so much to Clarity and all you wise ones who have helped me so much through this difficult year.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:

 

[sooo]

Hi, poised.

I like the spirit and poetic rendering of both, TW and Bradford's 28 and line 1.

There were two incidents, both involving being in danger in water long ago, that always come to mind when contemplating 28, and line 1 particularly.

The first occurring while on a family picnic by a lake. I was swimming with a friend who came along with us. There was a floating wooden platform to dive from or just sit and dry and soak up the sun. The water was deep for a little kid to be swimming in, but I stayed near the wooden raft for safety, when I decided that it would be fun to swim under it to the other side. But once under the raft, my little lungs were quickly running out of air, and I was only about half way across and panic set in, as I didn't know if I could make it to the other side (note 28's trigrams here: wood beneath water (or danger under the raft with the lake above). I kicked desperately, and for a few moments actually thought I wouldn't make it to the surface on the other side. Fortunately I did, and gasped a lung full of air as I popped up on the other side. I climbed aboard the wooden anchored raft and rested to catch my breath.

The second came when I was around 18 and in the Navy, but it was strikingly similar. I was snorkeling in the Caribbean waters off Saint Thomas and was swimming along the white sandy bottom, lost in the beauty of coral and sea creatures, and it suddenly occurred to me that I was only snorkeling, not diving with tanks. I looked up to the surface, and it seemed far further than I had realized. I kicked upward as fast as my fins could propel me, again that panic set in, not knowing if I'd run out of air before reaching the surface, and as with my childhood incident, I shot through the surface and gasped air into my lungs, and climbed aboard the dingy, lying on my back and catching my breath.

Both incidents scared the dickens out of me, as I really didn't know if I'd live to tell of it. Both involved the very real possibility of drowning, but here I am, decades later, giving an account of them. It's sort of ironic that later in life I had developed congestive heart failure, which involves water seeping into the lungs, giving the same sensation of drowning.

From LiSe's commentary on line 1: Every action deserves the attention and care one would use when sacrificing. Most actions are irreversible, once done there is no way back. So do everything as if your life is at stake – because it is.

 

[flashlight]

Hi Poised,

Disclaimer: I ching neophyte learning every day and hesitant to contribute to others' readings

But -- your hundred days of solitude, writing/publishing, loving certain fields but bored to tears teaching, and 28 resonated with me intensely. So many similarities..

What I am getting from your reading is you are on the verge of big outside changes, that stem from your inner growth, but nothing is decided yet and you have to be careful, taking one step at a time and making sure that each step is carefully considered and in harmony with the rest (and since you've not decided yet, I guess in harmony with you - fully). Make each step with reverence, perhaps with writing by getting a new pen or notebook (or if you'd rather use the computer, Scrivener is a fantastic program by writers for writers - Mac and PC version!), creating maybe a small comforting ritual before you start writing for a bit.. Let it flow, don't worry too much at first about plot, character development and so on. See where it leads you, rather than you leading it. Maybe it is there that what you have to say can be of help to others.

As was with, FWIW, Susan Piver's book - "The Wisdom of a Broken Heart" _ which I found inspiring, peaceful, funny and enriching.

 

[Tim K]

Just as an experiment, have a look at natural cycle of change, from "Heritage of Change" by W.A.Sherrill, with highlights from me.

I think you are in two places at the same time
Going down from your previous project (h27, top cycle), and going up in a new direction (h28, bottom cycle) striving for your nourishment (27 in the middle of the bottom cycle).

I like O'Brien's h28 description:
"
This may be the moment you have been waiting for. Although the current challenge may seem to be more than you can handle, remember that a flood reaches its high-water mark for only a few brief moments, and then begins to subside. Action must be taken now to ensure opportunities for success later on. You will never discover the true extent of your own abilities unless you, at least once in your life, dive into a crisis with complete abandon, dedicating every ounce of your energy, every fiber of your being, to the cause at hand.

Dare to win. "


Wilhelm, Legge, Nigel Richmond and Paul O’Brien write about line 1 as a warning not to rush things, to carefully plan your approach.
Also, the reverse line ('fan yao') 43.1, O'Brien:
"To plunge ahead blindly at the beginning is unskillful, because this is precisely the time when an unexpected setback would produce the most disastrous results. Beware of self-confidence that is not well grounded."

But Richmond adds, for line 28.1, that you have complete freedom in choosing your path, because the color of the leaves/cloth/mat is white.

Hex 43 says that you must be determined to reach your goal, to uproot all the evil, take no prisoners!
I'll just quote O'Brien here, but try to replace 'evil' with 'doubt and fear' for the best effect:
"
Personal resolution points to a breakthrough, but decisive action is necessary. As long as you diligently hold your ground and ward off negative tendencies or evil influences, the good will prevail.

The persistence of evil is a constant in human affairs; just when you think it has been eradicated, up it will pop again, sprouting through some crack in the pavement of decent society. Evil need not take extravagant forms, such as those exhibited in Nazi Germany. Garden-variety lies and deceit are much more common and persistent, but should be rooted out just as diligently. One must be determined against negativity — whether in one’s social or professional life, or in one’s own soul. In either case, definite rules must be followed for the struggle to succeed.

The first rule: Do not compromise with evil. Negative actions must be identified openly for what they are, and discredited.
The second: One cannot successfully resist negativity on its own terms. New, positive alternatives that lead away from the source of the problem are generally more successful and appropriate than trying to counter negativity with raw power.
The third rule: The means used to counter negativity must be consistent with the end to be achieved. One cannot stop the spreading of lies by spreading more of them.

By adding to the good in a situation, one automatically diminishes the bad. This is the only way in which to successfully battle negativity. The time calls for unrelenting self-awareness and the necessity to share one’s bounty and virtue with others."

All in all - go for it! don't rush, and keep your goal in your sights.

 

[anemos]

28.1 comes in two different occasions , to me. Sometimes when I am in a hurry to express myself and my will and 28.1 feels like a "halt" , a necessary slow down. Like when I want to paint and alter surfaces I need to do a lot of preparation ; sandpaper the surface, put primers wait to dry , put another layer... bummer ! I want to paint and I want to paint now.

also, I have observed, that sometimes that line asks me to check my armor and see if the fear of 28 make me overdo it. I wonder why J pops up again, what has the book do with the armor and that little girl. Seems indeed that little girl needs to speak ; she and you maybe need some time to communicate with each other , feel and understand each other and together choose your path.

 

[poised]

Washing up my act

Thanks for responding, sooo. Such eloquent word pictures you paint. Have you ever thought of writing? wink wink….

"In over your head" comes to mind. And "water under the bridge." Very happy that you surfaced after those frightening underwater experiences.

Yes, Bradford has some choice thoughts about 28:

"This is not wrath or fury, not divine justice or plan, only a thoughtless, ham-handed fist of a world much bigger than us,"

pretty good description of whazzisname, literally "ham-handed" far too great (in his own mind) …

"{The losses won’t be so for long, once the past is washed away. An overwhelming finality helps.

"
Washing away is interesting….we first met in the laundry room at our complex. Often did laundry together…that's the ONE THING I miss…lol…..those ham hands sure could schlep laundry: Plus, our first date was a canoe trip, etc etc etc…..Delete memory button, please. But more to the point, the flow of my emotions/feelings for him has ended, with just the occasional drip.

"What can I do" is a fishhook, looking forward to catching the next wave, not the next fish, just the momentum to function in a creative, positive direction. And those are my shoulds. Thou shalt achieve, accomplish, and "live up to your potential." You see how culturally brainwashed I am. I cannot imagine myself not wanting to achieve something. It's the something I have to decide about now.

Perhaps "brainwashed" is the operative word in all of this.Who am I if I don't want to achieve something? "A poor fish" comes to mind. Pisces moon will reveal all, intuitively --at some point it will bubble into consciousness. Getting a little zen here: what is your original face?"

Many thanks for your help, sooo. Be well my friend.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:

 

[poised]

Hi flashlight:

Thanks for the kind words and good suggestions. I will buy new sketch pads and thick pens, which is how I like to write first drafts. Everything color coded. Russian Caravan tea and Sai Baba incense are a nice ritual, as is a sunrise trip to the gym. Borodin turned down very low.

And I requested the Piver book from my library, should have it in a few days. In truth, my fondness for the man was not as hard to get over as my dedication to the project we'll never finish. THAT really bothered me.

I notice that you have posted a 28 thread too. I'm no expert at interpretation, but I would suggest that you look at Bradford's 28.5. His translation of this line was perfect for me, perhaps you too--I find his I Ching translation witty and direct, many ah-ha's.

My best to you, thanks for your help:bows:

 

[poised]

anemos, you are so so astute. Armor, eh? I know that other people are armored, never even once considered that I might be too.

And ah yes, getting to know the inner 8-year-old. I went to an Inner Child workshop with John Bradshaw, a very bright guy with a Texas twang. He had us close our eyes, return to the home we lived in when we were six, pack our little bags, say good-bye to our parents, walk down the street, turn the corner, and then we were asked to put the little girl into our hearts. My little girl said, "NO, what I really want to do is..." (she transported us to a famous NY eatery frequented by publishing execs)... "make a book deal, travel, see the world." So I do know what I'm dealing with, I just need to give her her head and get out of the way. This could be fun.

I should never have grown up. All that creativity smothered by day-to-day expectations, realities, problems, and crazy affairs of the heart -- or points south. All that vacuuming, laundry, sandpapering surfaces, cooking, pencil sharpening, ad nauseum. But you at least get results.

 

[poised]

coming and going

Hi ash:

I think you are in two places at the same time
Going down from your previous project (h27, top cycle), and going up in a new direction (h28, bottom cycle) striving for your nourishment (27 in the middle of the bottom cycle

Interesting. I've never made sense of Sherrill, but your diagram makes the point clearly.

I'm not sure that I -- or anyone -- can help but get stuck in transition. Just when you think you've reached the apex, the turning point where it's all good, pieces of the past sneak up on you. Less frequently as time goes on. Those pieces of yourself you forgot as the old situation became untenable gradually return, hopefully new, improved versions sterilized in the fire of destruction. A gradual process.

I am at a very pleasant level now. As neutral as I've ever been. I had a lot of 44 during the months I tried to make the relationship and our project work. 44 is anything but neutral. In your hexagram chart, it leads directly to 28, which crashes down to 43. You can almost hear it.

28.1 today seems easy, uncomplicated. Just take it easy. A big change for me.

I'm too perfectionistic to rush anything, at least when I have only myself to consider. Mistakes come when trying to work with or please others. Enneagram 5 with 4 wing.

I'm happy that you responded to this thread, ash. I've noticed your contributions to Clarity and feel that you are an excellent addition to this band of seekers. Thanks for being here.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:

 

[Tim K]

Hello poised,

Before my first post here, I asked Yi should I really do this:
"
The source of enthusiasm. He achieves great things. Doubt not.
You gather friends around you as a hair clasp gathers the hair."

Also my birthday is on 28th, so my whole life I feel drawn to this number and I just couldn't pass this thread by. Mom's bday is on 28th, I got my first driver's license on 28th. Even my first flight with instructor, first takeoff was on runway 28, and 2013(first flight) - 1985(bday) = 28 go figure

Thank you very much for your kind words, I appreciate it, and glad to join this wonderful band
I feel I'm doing something right here, I don't get 48.3.5, 8, 8.5, 27 anymore, my daily readings have changed.

 

[luciliuz]

My 100 Days of Solitude after the final breakup with whazzhisname have become 120 days. In addition to our affair,we were engaged in a creative project which never got off the ground. I felt guilty about that, tho by the time the relationship was over, I wasn't really interested in the project either. I had invested much time in it; he had not. My ego was reluctant to admit defeat, to let it go, to rid myself of the illusion that I would JUST DO IT ALONE.

No, really I won't.

But now, at year's end, it's time to decide what to do next. Sitting around disengaging is getting very boring. And excessive. 28 indeed.

I could start a publishing consulting service. Been there, done that, did well enough but didn't enjoy it.

I am a certified Alexander Technique teacher. LOVE the work, but don't really love teaching.

I can write something else. Risky, to a certain extent, tho I have been published by major publishers. But those were works of nonfiction, and I don't really want to do that either.

Fiction? Well. Since I was 8 years old, I wanted to do that but am absolutely terrified that I won't succeed. :bag: I did start a few mss, threw out all but one, which I like very much, though I have exactly 10 completed pages. Terror in the heart, anxiety in the chest. Wow. Overreacting a little? Stage fright? That good old American "can do" spirit, which means you darned well better succeed. Or else!

I've been looking around all day for a 28.1 explanation that gives me a comprehensive and workable view. Found this at Thom Williams' "The Modern Poet's I Ching:"


http://janan.members.sonic.net/ching/main.html#28

Hexagram 28 True Freedom

DON'T BREAK A BROKEN HEART

Exactly when was it, what day, what year
When I stopped being who I was
And became who I am?

Overview

You are deep in your own Tao in this time. Old ways will be shed naturally as the seasons, and new dreams will materialize in quiet moments. Now all you imagined you could be is close around you. Take time to sit down by yourself and feel the powerful currents from which you draw your power. You cannot continue in the light-hearted social vein you have been enjoying. Naturally, people will drift along their own paths away from you, and you'll find new and important directions occurring to you.

Your freedom is complete. Secrets and visions will inspire your fantasies. Like the dark green shadows of a tall forest, you will feel the silences and spaces in life. Old, worn paths of guilt and illusion will seem vivid, but distant, and only the most perceptive of your friends will sense the gifts you are accumulating quickly inside. Until you get the feel of this time, you may be awed by the weight and vastness of all you have seen and felt. Be confident-you are of the earth-as free as the day the world began and as open-hearted.

Line 1

Go out of your way to be imaginative. Sympathy and gentleness will flow. Do the little things that show the world you are for real. "Do it up!" that is-go beyond your normal paths of action and reaction. Reach for the higher, the better, the "cooler." What romance is to life, you are to this line.\\

I don't know how this fits with traditional views, but Thom Williams is reading my heart. Unfortunately, I think he's no longer on the planet…maybe someone knows for sure?

Anyway, the underline sentence describes the reaction my children had to me when we met for Christmas. Apparently I look different, had "beautiful" vibes. Imagine that. Deep changes, and I know it too.

Overall, this reading speaks to the 8-year-old in my heart who's still hopeful that one day I will listen to her and write that fiction. A lot of preparation seems to be required, but I already know that. Outlines, character studies, meticulous research, rewriting and then rewriting again.

Bradford's 43 resonates too:

No drama. Just no to whazzisname and the project we envisioned. And my life pointed back in a direction that resonates with my inner child, who did not give one single hoot about doing something for anyone else. Writing something that would help people. Or even being a "good girl." She simply wanted to imagine stories. What could be as rational as that?

Your comments or insights would be much appreciated. Thanks so much to Clarity and all you wise ones who have helped me so much through this difficult year.
:bows:
:bows:
:bows:

Hello,
I was interested to Thom Williams' book but it looks this link doesn't work anymore,
and there's no trace of it in any form online... does anybody has idea if is it possible to find?
Thanks!