28.5.6>50

[blue_angel]

Looking for some release and insight. Even if it's not what I want to hear. Another words, don't be afraid I won't hear you. I am ready to listen.


Lately I've been busy, making myself extra busy. Doing some self healing, helping others too, family, friends, and strangers. Painting, art projects. Busy with work. A little meditation here and there. But no matter how busy I make myself, there seem to be universal signs of a certain someone that is special to me, that I have had to let go of.


Examples.. call my Grandma for our daily talk, family members are moving to the state this special someone is from. Have a goodbye talk with a good friend about their retirement. After their retirement, their family is moving to the state the special someone is from. Oddly enough they're moving the same month the special someone is due to move back to the state themselves. Go into the grocery store, song on the radio overhead is a song that the special someone and I shared. Songs on the radio, old movies on the TV, even commercials. Strangers I meet either have the first or the last name of this person. What is the deal?


I'm sure there could be a better question and hope you'll find it for me. The question for now "what are all these universal signs of this person?" Is there a meaning? Am I going insane? Lol, but seriously. Answer 28.5.6>50


And.. lately men are coming out of the wood works, I haven't had this much attention since I was 19. But I'm just not interested, regardless of how pretty some of them are. (Especially since prettiness is only skin deep.) I just want to enjoy my me time, time with family, and have a happy balance. Besides that, at heart I am not over this person and I don't believe its fair to myself or others to do the whole rebound thing. I feel a person should be completely content within and without and free in spirit before starting anything new. Anyhow, any ideas here? Anyone else have any experience with signs around every corner?


Oddly enough line 5, I am older woman, and he is the younger man. Although, I am not yet so old I can not produce shoots and only have flowers that will soon decay. I have quite a bit of time left before I begin to decay thanks. But I know this is more or less a metaphor describing the situation. So I produce flowers, but can not send out shoots, and there's no blame or praise in this. Hmmm


Line 6 water is over my head due to my own boldness, and exceeding the river. However, since I wish for the best for everyone I'll have no regrets? Except I have NOT been bold. I've kept to myself. I've taken no action towards this situation. I'm actually doing everything I can to stay away, to not think about it. I'm trying to do what everyone else wants including him. So, I feel lost on this answer. Maybe its showing how the situation ended? Its been well over a month since we last spoke. And these little signs have just started hitting hard this last week.


I had also done a reading yesterday, basically asking "what now"? Answer was 50.2.3>35. Maybe one reading will help unfold the answer of the other. 50 as the main hexagram and then 50 as the context or background.. And the final reading "What are these readings trying to tell me?" Answer 31 unchanging, I want to read the 31 unchanging as an attraction that failed, because he is gone from my life.


Other than these annoying disturbances of what seem like universal signs, life has been pretty good, I feel blessed, and stronger in spirit. Sometimes too strong, to the point of being stubborn. Then I have to remember to humble myself, and come back down to earth. Thank you for your time and guidance. :bows:



Best Wishes as always,

Blue_Angel

 

[sooo]

Hope this doesn't sound as though I'm trivializing your situation, but synchronicity does seem to be in full bloom in your world, and I have no idea if there's an actual causal reason for it or if it's like it was after my wife and I bought our first new car, a type I never would have imagined. And suddenly, it seemed everywhere I looked I saw VW bugs. I mean they were everywhere. I had no idea these things were so common and popular. The fact that they weren't all new '68's (no old guy jokes! ) clearly said that all these drivers didn't just go out and buy new bugs when we did. I just suddenly became aware of them, what in advertising is known by the acronym, TOMA, which means top of mind awareness. I can vaguely see this as being a 28.5 kind of effect.

 

[blue_angel]

I really don't mind you trivializing it. I was trying to make light of it myself. I actually did think that exact same thing when it first started happening, so I suppose you could be right. But I would really like TOMA to go away now, especially if nothings needing to manifest from it. I mean, its a done deal...


The only thing that had me thinking there was more to it, was the family members and friends moving to the state he's from. Especially since none of them know each
other, they all live in completely different
states, and this isn't like moving to California.
Everyone use to always be moving to
California. You know? Oh well, maybe I paid
too much attention to details and signs in the
past. Now my minds formed it as a habit or
something. Maybe it means nothing. Hopefully, eventually when the old songs we
like come on, I'll be able to laugh about it,
instead of getting this ache. Lol, I want to
scream at the store manager "do you mind!?
Could you kindly change the damn station?"

 

[blue_angel]

I feel like I should be really good at detaching by now. I should have it mastered, just about. But there's a part of me that feels I will lose my passion for life, my innocence about it all. If I allow myself to become something "like" a "Detached" Buddha. Its like I can already feel
it there, this change. I just don't want to allow
it to be. Like part of me has died. And I almost
want to mourn for the part that's gone. Even
though that part, for the most part could
create a great deal of suffering and chaos. It
was all still very innocent and passionate. And
the more I have gotten into spirituality,
meditation, and dedicating my life to helping.
The more I feel the change. I feel like I've
made a sort of crossing or a transition that I
can't go back on. It seems then, that any future romantic relationship will be experienced completely different then any of the previous ones. This last one, being the greatest, and most passionate. And it sort of makes me wonder does it mark the transition, like a grand ending, into a grand beginning. I know my thoughts can come across as odd, especially after a meditation. But do you care to add your own thoughts? Any further insight?

 

[sooo]

When an old friend was in his 60's, he said to me, finally, the curse is over. I laughed, but then I didn't know whether to feel happy or sad for him, or for myself, as "the curse" is still with me at 69, though it no longer dominates my mind or body. Still, like a seed buried in the desert sand, it still blooms after a good rain, and I'm happy it does. "To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time for everything under heaven." I don't think you have to worry about your passion leaving you, though it may not feel quite the same. Experience has a way of tempering the curse, but hopefully not extinguishing it.

 

[blue_angel]

Thanks for that. Reminds me a little of the desert cactus flower that blooms once a year. Hopefully it still blooms.

(I wrote this thinking it sort of fit with line 5 of 28 and remembering what you had said about the desert cactus flower. But it was in regards to losing passion and innocence).

 

[sooo]

If a cactus blooms in the desert and there's no one there to share it, it blooms nonetheless.
The sun is older than the rain but it still takes two.
It's futile to try to make love with one who isn't loving you.

 

[blue_angel]

Now you've lost me. There seems to be a disconnect. Is this something you see in the readings? Although, when you said "To everything there is a season and a time under heaven." Reminded me immediately of Footloose, there is a scene in the movie where that is said. It was the first movie we
watched together, and we both love it, love
watching old movies. So maybe posting this
thread isn't actually helping with letting go or
whatever it is, I need to see, learn, or do. We
haven't really discussed the readings at all or
how they all fit, or play a part.


But that's fine too, I think I'll just let time do it's thing, to take away this sting, and hope for the best, while I give this a rest.

 

[sooo]

All I've said relates to your reading and to the experience you've described. Some things are just easier to accept than others. 28.6 is supposed to be over your head, as you've already said. That's what floods generally do.

 

[goddessliss]

Hi Blue-Angel - "What now - Hex 50.2.3>35

Advance and transform your life using the talents you have, this situation is/was only a temporary setback.

I think I've said it before - I don't think you recognise how beautiful you are and the gift you have for helping others but the gift is also being discerning in who you help. If you give yourself away to others who are not deserving of your gifts then you end up only hurting yourself. Like with this latest one.
I have learned that, although we can see the truth about others and how they could help themselves to have a better life, they really don't want to know and wish to stay in their 'comfort zone'. - Liss

For some reason this song came to mind - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmSdTa9kaiQ

 

[kincadefoster]

As far as synchronicity, blue angel, I will tell you this. My last relationship, which you have read about in my previous posts, was full of synchronicity, and started out really great and passionate and all.

We were born in the same town, found each other in a different state as adults. Everywhere we went, people loved us as a couple, and were just attracted to us and things would happen, we got invited places, etc.

The last good day we hung out, we went to breakfast and a massage school. The parking lot was full at the breakfast place we went and suddenly someone pulled out and gave a great parking spot. When we went to the massage school, someone pulled out again and gave us a nice spot. After our massages when we were already feeling great, the massage school director came up to us and offered us both another free massage.

By the end of the day she had a moment where she cried about all that had happened and how she had a renewal between us and felt good about herself again(it had been awhile since we hung out due to the off of the off again/on again phase, and no, I like to think I'm a very logical person and so therefore I have no clue why she didn't want to stick w someone she always had fun with, felt good about herself around, and who genuinely cares about someone who makes herself hard to love)
Anyway, the point of this is that it doesn't matter how much synchronicity there is, how much the universe and everything seems to make things happen as long as the other person has other ideas. Seems like she forgot all about this experience within a week.

 

[goddessliss]

Hi kf, some people just wanna stay in their old patterns, that way they've got something to whinge about in life or something like that. That's my experience anyway. I've a friend who chases and chases something that is not attainable because in essence she rejects anything that may get her to stop chasing. She seems a bit miffed with me at the moment as she thinks I've got it all because I've finally found a substantial direction to follow in my life but from my point of view she has too but she just turns the other way and keeps chasing. What I see happening, which is the saddest, she is becoming more and more frustrated causing her to become very angry. - Liss

 

[sooo]

Looking for some release and insight. Even if it's not what I want to hear. Another words, don't be afraid I won't hear you. I am ready to listen.

Don't blame a disconnect. If there's been a disconnect it was you who cut the connection and left with a curt and disrespectful dismissal. This is not what your invitation promised.

My advice is: grow up and get over it. The more you wallow in it, the longer and deeper the trauma will effect you. This guy isn't your Prince Charming, assuming such a one even exists. Even a perfectly fitting glass slipper breaks sometime.

Blow off my advice or heed it, makes no difference to me now.

 

[blue_angel]

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" Forest Gump. I am seeing these universal signs now as parts to a larger whole, a truth. Its just that we have to be willing to take an objective view at times, to see what truth its pointing to. I am inspired by a few times Anemos has posted how her art teacher would tell her to "walk away for a while and then come back, it is then that you'll have a clearer view." I find this to be true as well and its becoming easier to do.

Funny how in my first line I said "I need some release" in another line I said "I would like TOMA to go away, if that's what it is", and yet I also said "I would really like some insight into what these universal signs are about ". Life never ceases to amaze me, ask and you shall receive, indeed. For that I feel so very appreciative, humbled, and blessed.

When I said "I think I'll give this a rest" that is exactly what I did. I followed through with my intentions, and so did life. Now that I came back, I see you all continued on, which is interesting and I thank you for caring.

Sooo- in no way do I feel I was curt nor disrespectful, it's too bad you do feel that way. Definitely wasn't "my" intention. Hence that further shows me there was an actual disconnect. I personally don't feel you nor I are to "blame" for the disconnect. Actually, I feel sometimes people will be on the same frequency and other times they wont. Simply because they each have their own path, experiences, lessons, and may be in a different space and time.

When I said "I am ready to listen" it didn't mean in a robotic or a trained dog sort of way. It didn't mean I would ignore my own intuition, not value my own feelings, nor ignore my own choices and goals, to reach the deeper truth I was looking for. No, "I am ready to listen" simply meant, I would do "my" best to "hear" you in an objective state, without becoming defensive nor taking anything said as a "personal attack". I
was willing to take into consideration each insight given. But that came with no guarantee the insights would help me reach my inner truth nor the answers I was looking for. There for it came with no guarantee I would take it on for myself as truth, if it wasn't for me.

I think each has their own bag to carry in life, some are lighter than others, but each containing a little weight nevertheless. If the idea is to lighten the bag so it will be easier to carry, then there's no need to add some of someone elses bag. Let each carry their own.

But I do still believe in the best of man kind. So I believe for the most part intentions are for the good, do not mean to hurt, demean, anger, frustrate, nor make the bag any heavier than it already is. Although I appreciate the conversation, I appreciate your creativity, and I could relate to a few of your points, it still wasn't connecting for me. There were no bells ringing, no light shining on that truth I was looking for. Infact, it felt as though I was getting further away from where I needed to be.

I also wanted to focus on the readings, to continue learning what the readings offer and how they relate. The only time you mentioned the readings was, when talking about TOMA, saying "I can "vaguely" see this as a 28.5 kind of effect." Indeed, it was vague to me as well. So vague, it just didn't resonate. And if something doesn't resonate, should we then bang our heads against a wall trying to force it? Or should we just accept that it's not resonating, and let it be?

I still thought that you may eventually bring further insight and it would come together for me. Not a big deal, that it didn't. There's no blame in that, it just is or it isn't. Then when you wrote "if a cactus blooms in the desert and there's no one there to share it, it blooms nonetheless. The sun is older than the rain, but it still takes two. Its futile to try to make love with one who isn't loving you". My mind went "huh?" To a complete state of blankness. Rather than accept there was no connection (cause that is not where I am), I went back to reread it a few more times, which is silly. It took me further away from where I was and what my goal was.

The next thought that came to mind was, this is a poem. A poem that couldn't make sense to me. And in Trojina's poem thread I remembered her saying "poems can be like spells and they often are" indeed. That further shows how far this was taking me away from insight or truth. And I thought I should stop with the silliest madness, and let this go.

The thought of it being a spell.. I am in such a place right now of recognizing my own individual identity, aspirations, feelings, intuitions, and my own free will. As a whole, confident, strong, and beautiful growing woman/human being. So I thought, I want no spells, as that would take away my free will to experience all there is for me in my own lessons. Silly... because surely you were not intending to cast a spell.

I am finding that while I am becoming more detached, I am able to enjoy the lessons more, even the ones I would've once considered bad. I can almost look at them as a source of comedy. I am still not sure if I have the ability to feel as passionately as I was, or look at life with such an innocence, but I have no doubt the universe will also provide that answer.

To be continued...

 

[blue_angel]

Anyhow, I stepped back, walked away from all of this. Gave it all a rest, and the universe answered. Here's where it got fun. At least for me. And I am looking up smiling "thank you, thank you, thank you for this life." I had asked for release from this.. So the first thing life does after I walked away from my last post is, it begins to rain. Both literally and figuratively. And you know what they say "when it rains, it pours". I became nearly bombarded and encircled with obstacles and bumps in the road. Both little and big issues, completely unrelated to this, or to one another. Enough to keep me busy enough, so that there was no time to think, or notice any other signs. I didn't see it at first. I sensed I was going to have to stay very patient, and stay in the moment, if I wanted to find any solutions and keep my sanity.

I knew release would come, I would just have to remain a bit emotionally detached, and observant of the details. So that when the opportunity presented itself, I could take it, and step out of the mud.
And, finally, when the obstacles gave way, I seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and decided to make my way back here.

One of the reasons why Anemos inspired me with that example of walking away from her art to come back for a clearer view is because, I do believe a good portion of life is our own artful creations. We create and have a big hand in what manifests. That's beautiful to me.

I realize some may not agree, understand, nor connect with my post. And I realize at times I may come across as stubborn, curt, or disrespectful. But that is not my truth. My truth is, all of my life I have tried to go above and beyond to please others, doing exactly what they want, or think I should. Doing what they perceive as "right". And for some time now, I have realized I am not there anymore. I can kindly decline, and frankly not eat the bs that's trying to be fed to me. But I do try to decline in a kind way, humble, and with grace. Really, if I was intending on being disrespectful, you would know, and so would everyone else. I'm half Italian, my apple doesn't fall far from its tree. I can be very rude and have a creative talent of being able to rip people to shreds with words, without ever having used any profanity. Its a talent handed down. I no longer wish to use that talent unless absolutely needed, and only during times I am backed into a corner by an attacker. But I make sure that is reality first, I no longer "jump the gun".

Anyhow, I can see the painting much clearer now. It all pieced together so beautifully. I'll see if I can show you what it looks like for me. Question "what are these universal signs of the this person?" Answer 28.5.6>50. As I stated, I had to let them go. Allowed life to be as busy as it can be, and helped it along in the process. Even said a little prayer of letting go. Wishing him happiness, love, and health. Usually when I do this, its like a release. It wasn't this time, because of these signs. So why the signs? What do they mean? What are the readings telling me? Here's what I have found. I was missing the points.

(50)- the vessel, my spiritual vessel was cooking up some good stuff. But it was having to go in overtime (28), because I wasn't seeing what I needed to see. I wasn't getting it.

What stands out most for me is in both lines 28.5 and 28.6 there's no blame or fault. No blame or fault in the failing of the relationship, connection, or my inability to recognize what the universal signs meant. Indeed, this older woman, took on a younger man. And indeed, together we could produce beautiful flowers enjoyed by the senses, but we could not send out the new shoots needed for new growth. Therefore it could not last long.

Although beautiful and fragrant, flowers do disintegrate. What is really needed, is new growth from both sides. New "shoots". But we were not capable with each other to produce new growth, at least not at this point in our lives. And there's no blame in that.

We could not keep our promises to each other, we're on different paths, growing at different speeds, in different ways, in different directions. Different places and times. But gosh, the flowers were so lovely. A moment in time that was completely blissful.

For line 6- Wilhelm has "one MusT go through the water. It goes over one's head. Misfortune. No blame." Its a process I needed to go through. Almost as if inevitable. We must go in these deep waters to come out on the other side clean. Together the lines seem to say this process of growth was needed. A must. But I was in so deep, I couldn't "see the forest for the trees". I had to step back. Lift my head up. Take an
objective view. Ah... so I went back to the very beginning. This way, I could see where the problem first began. By seeing where it began, I could follow it through, to see any patterns I missed, or solutions to the confusion.

I went back to before I even met the guy. I was confused at first, thinking maybe it's a mistake to go back, but it was as if someone said "not this time, keep going, your answer is there."

Before him, I was doing very well. Life was really flowing for me in all aspects and areas. It was as if I was at one with the time. I had practiced for a long time being mindful and in the present moment.


To be continued...

 

[blue_angel]

I had felt I had become very balanced in this way and stronger in spirit. Then upon reading a thread here, something resonated with me. Someone had made a point about how easy it is to do something on one's own and alone, but not so easy to integrate that into a relationship. To integrate it into a relationship would then be the ultimate test, wouldn't it? Especially since in relation to others we have to accept my way is not your way necessarily. We are diverse people, coming from different walks of life, with different perspectives on this life. All of these new beliefs, ways of living, being mindful, and in the present moment. This was all completely different from where I came from, and how I was raised.

The next thing that occurred, was a friend handed me a book. The author was making jokes about every single religion and philosophy. I was turned off at first. To then realize, it was truth, facts about these beliefs, written in a way that it was humorous, and it came with a "moral to the story" for each one. One of the stories was of a famous monk. The monk says, "people expect me to practice hidden in the monastery and are shocked to find me in the streets amongst drugs, violence, in bars, and in brothels. My answer to them is the best way to truly practice being mindful and achieve awareness is outside in our environment"

So I thought, well, I can not continue to grow while being hidden like a hermit. I sent a thought like a wish out into the universe. "Ok, I am ready for the big test to see if I can remain mindful, balanced, and in the present moment, while in a relationship." I had mysteriously forgot all about it after the thought. It had vanished from my mind. Some weeks later, this man was practically dropped in my path. And no matter which way I turned I wasn't getting around him. No he wasn't forceful in any mannerisms at all. I would continue to explain in depth here but I have already written a book practically, so I'll leave it at that.

Initially I was very much in the moment when we began. Very present and mindful. And we were flowing like water. It was incredible, beautiful. But then when we physically parted to work or tend to other areas of life, I stopped being mindful. I stopped being in the present moment. I began being in the past, being in the future, and creating old fears I had done away with, complete chaos. Since I was no longer conscious, I allowed my sub conscious to take over. And the sub conscious I have learned is all of that pre-downloaded information we took on from our environment in order to survive. Some good but most of it bad. None of it is our true identity. None of it is filled with our aspirations. And I see now, that there is still some work to do with my sub conscious mind. Because the sub conscious and the conscious have to be working towards the same goals. They have to agree. They have to have the same beliefs.

I became stuck in old patterns, old beliefs, old recordings. While apart, through phone we began becoming defensive and reactive with each other. My fear, created his fear. My frustration, created his frustration. We were reacting. I became so lost I couldn't see. I became overwhelmed. And then after time apart, we would come back together. When we did, in person, we initially looked at each other like, "What the heck was all of that?" But we clicked so well and the loving connection was there for us. So we let it go, and again we were flowing together. I was very mindful and the present moment. Then we had to eventually work. We did this 3 times, eventually I was drowning, and so was he. Two drowning people, can't save each other. And both of us made the mistake of going to others for advice. Those poor people were only trying to help. But our fear had taken over. How could they help, when even we couldn't see what was happening?

Time passed, we got on with life, neither figuring out the other. Never having connected the dots and accepting I just wouldn't know. A co-worker out of the blue says, "I really like this book and author" He begins telling me about it. I go to pick up the book. Its about mindfulness, being in the present moment, our sub conscious mind, and conscious mind. It's written by a biologist/scientist. A man I consider to be enlightened. Which is somewhat of a miracle, I haven't heard of many enlightened scientists. The book took me back to what I had been doing before I met this guy. The universe was now laughing with me. 1. you failed your test by the way, but 2. It's okay, don't stop now, you have more growing to do.

This wasn't about him. This was about me. I have no idea how or if I affected him negatively. I hope not. I have no idea what his lessons are. I can only hope the best for him and continue on with my own. I am a slow learner sometimes. But I love it when I "Get it".

"What now" (50)- Karcher has "Growing" "This hexagram describes your situation in terms of the imaginative capacity of the sacred vessel. It emphasizes that securing and imaginatively transforming the material at hand is the adequate way to handle it. To be in accord with the time, you are told to: hold and transform things in the vessel." Wow. (2) My associates are afflicted about me, but they can do no harm, because I am not distracted from my path or goal. (3) Legge has "The dynamic, shows the cauldron with the places of its ears changed. The progress of its subject is thus stopped. The fat flesh of the pheasant which is in the cauldron will not be eaten. But the genial rain will come and the grounds for repentance will disappear. There will be good fortune." Clear as day, it has played out well.

"What are these readings trying to tell me" 31 unchanging. I learn, grow, and am attracted to and through signs. The universe knows this. I was being influenced through signs, whether people, places, events. This is how I follow the Tao, this is how I come back to the Tao when I stray, by following the signs. (31) is also seen as conjoining. It all conjoins together to form one whole.

Life and nature are so patient with me, as I continue to learn to be just as patient with life, everything works out. There are signs everywhere, I just have to be willing to listen, and from an objective point of view. The lessons are really starting to become kind of fun. Especially the more I recognize they are opportunities for growth. In this way, I can continue to enjoy the flowers that bloom both within and without.

Liss- I use to like U-2 as well. I haven't listened to them in years. I am not sure why that song popped up for you. But thank you for sharing. I do agree with some of your points. I have learned some of those things as well. I thank you for believing I am a beautiful person.

Kincade- I think the signs are there to guide us and help. It's the same as with the Iching, it's only a guidance. It's up to us to see our own truth and take that guidance or not. But I do believe we all carry a few pieces that go to that same puzzle. We all have gifts to offer. Thank you for sharing some of your story.

Be free to continue as you please with insights, experiences, debates, questions, or anything you feel.
I can not help but be thankful to Hilary for this sight. Pure genius.

Best wishes,

Blue_Angel

 

[kincadefoster]

Hi kf, some people just wanna stay in their old patterns, that way they've got something to whinge about in life or something like that. That's my experience anyway. I've a friend who chases and chases something that is not attainable because in essence she rejects anything that may get her to stop chasing. She seems a bit miffed with me at the moment as she thinks I've got it all because I've finally found a substantial direction to follow in my life but from my point of view she has too but she just turns the other way and keeps chasing. What I see happening, which is the saddest, she is becoming more and more frustrated causing her to become very angry. - Liss

This pretty much describes her in a nutshell...

 

[goddessliss]

This pretty much describes her in a nutshell...

I think it describes a lot of people really, don't you? I've been guilty of it myself over the years. Perhaps that's why I can recognise it in others. - Liss

 

[blue_angel]

What do you suppose you can learn from her Kincadefoster? Suppose she is a direct reflection of yourself. If that's the case, what do you need to work on? I think I remember you saying something about an abusive childhood for her, do you have the same for yourself? And what do you think of reprogramming the negative thoughts acquired as a child? I have been working on this myself, as I mentioned above. Actually many people are now working in this direction. Unless of course, you were simply trying to relate your own experience and you weren't looking for actual solutions.

 

[blue_angel]

If you can keep an open mind and take into consideration YOU attracted her into your life. As you see I did above. What then, would you need to learn from her? Or what do you need to change within yourself in order to attract the kind of relationship you really aspire to? Suppose the signs and synchronicities in your case, are to show you... This relationship IS significant for you, in a way that you will grow, and advance should you choose to see, and look outside of the box.

People often want to look at other people, place blame on them, and point out what's "wrong" with them. But a lot of times, like Liss stated above, what you are seeing as wrong with them, is actually what you need to work on within yourself. Take responsibility for your part and yourself. What are those old, negative recordings from your own childhood environment that do not support your growth? Or do not support the kind of life and relationships you aspire to?

 

[kincadefoster]

In the past 6 months I have taken a class at the local college about relationships and assertive communication. I have read 2 books from different authors about how to have relationships with highly emotional people with issues. Over the past year and a half I have been moving more and more away from being emotionally reactive to things and toward being calm and assertive, but still sensitive. Also I'm working with the book Loving What Is with it's four questions. And part of my problem was blaming myself too much for my part in things. The only people we humans can connect with are also imperfect and human and I think people who are together should be ok with the fact that they will have to work on each others issues independently, but also as a team.

 

[blue_angel]

I think it's wonderful that you have taken proactive steps on your own. Steps to reach your own truth, healing, and create the kind of relationships you would like to have.

Best wishes on your journey

 

[pocossin]

I strongly recommend the book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith. You might find this book for a dime at a secondhand bookstore.

 

[blue_angel]

Hi Pocossin


Would you be willing to add this along with some other favorite books of yours over in the Open Space? I have started a thread over there specifically for inspiring books. That way we could have a list, like a reference. And share with each other.

Kincadefoster,

Perhaps you would like to join as well and list your favorites?

 

[blue_angel]

Kincadefoster,

Your post brings to mind what LiSe has on 53 line 3 "Love which demands perfection is no love, neither is love which accepts everything." Sounds so wise, balanced, and beautiful.