28... still clueless after all these years

[oponopono]

Hi everyone,

If you could share your thoughts around 28 and how it translates to action I would really appreciate it. I have a specific question I asked today, but it is actually an ongoing story for me, as I get it often regarding male figures. Through recurrence I understand these are men who appear and then it never turns into anything good, so I adopted a view of 28 I once read here, as an "inherently flawed" situation. Back in 2009 I was very very interested in someone new and asked "what is the love potential" for that encounter (I don't remember the exact words...) and the answer was 28,2 > 31. He was older, the line describes an older man taking a younger woman, 31 underlines that auspicious feeling, I was super optimistic. But no, he disappeared from my life, that turned out to be nothing. I had similar experiences with this line since then, always it refers to a relationship that doesn't follow through... It is in the overall image, the wood that breaks, the bridge that falls - but how come the line seems so auspicious?

Last year a very close friend became romantically interested in me, and it was not requited, so our friendship entered this very stressful phase and we reached a breaking point. 28 started appearing every time I asked about the future of our friendship or what to do. Eventually we stopped speaking and he left my life. Then he reappeared in the circle with a new girlfriend, so i asked again if there was something I should do to heal our relationship, and I got 28,2
at that point I began wondering if this younger woman in the line refers to someone else, like in 54... because our friendship didn't make it, at least not until now (8/9 months after)

& lately i have been feeling the return of the influence a rather toxic affair had over me, some 2/3 years ago. I do not want this back. This guy is bad news. As we sometimes have to work together I suggested we talked it over or went for a drink or something, and he said yes but repeatedly stood me up. I felt very disrespected, I told him that, I backed away. I'm still hurt so the thoughts keep popping up about what he did and that mental chatter when a problem is not cleansed away.
Today I asked
what do I have to do to heal whatever it is that still gives him such a strong ascendent over me, and got 28 (1,4,5) 11

I also asked what do I represent for him that explains his disrespectful behavior? 28 (2, 5) 62
if line 5 suggests I could be of indifferent value to him, how (again) should one read line 2?

I had other readings with 28, but I guess my post is not so much about particulars. Now everytime I see this hexagram I just feel "run away from this" whatever "this" means. Is this really the best take on it? Why do you think I have it so often regarding dyads that do not go anywhere? Is it a way of saying "impossible mission, don't even try"? and how come some lines feel so promising?

I would love some more perspectives and real life examples of 28 turned out for you. 28,2 specially!
Thank you very much!

danke,
yoana

 

[sooo]

Hi Yoana,

A change is a change, but I know of no change that's lasted forever. It either evolves to something greater or dissolves to something lessor. Plus, so much of what becomes of these pictures the Yi draws for us to describe our given situation depends on us, but also on the other(s). It's a bit like poker: you may receive a good hand, and you may play your hand well, but that's no indication that you won't walk away from the game broke.

I think it's a big mistake to hope to build a future on the answers received from the Yijing. At best, it can help us to gain the knowledge and wisdom of how things work, and that can help us to play our cards with more skill. If we repeatedly make the same mistakes, we should expect the same results over the long run.

It may also help to remember that our mores have changed a great deal from the time the Yijing was written. An older man commonly took a younger wife because she would be more likely to "give him" sons than a older woman who marries or has an affair with a younger man. Plus, it was common that the older man would be established in business and able to support a family, and growing his business often required growing a family to work the fields or trade. An older woman would more likely take a young man for her own pleasure. Some of that may still hold true today, but today many professional women are the family primary bread winner, and being a house-dad is no longer a disgrace. "Times change and with them, their demands." 49 W/B

 

[ginnie]

what do I have to do to heal whatever it is that still gives him such a strong ascendent over me, and got 28 (1,4,5) 11

When three lines are moving, I often concentrate on the middle line, which in this case is 28.4. This line says that the ridge pole is braced, and that in doing more than that we can run into additional trouble. That is, you can put certain boundaries into place, but don't do anything excessive.

I also asked what do I represent for him that explains his disrespectful behavior? 28 (2, 5) 62

I think it means he regards you as a sex object.

I want to say that I've had the same reaction as you when it comes to 28.2. It sounds so lovely and it feels so good, but only for a short while. I've noticed that, too, that 28.2 doesn't seem to last very long. Maybe the only hexagram that lasts and lasts is hex 32, duration -- because it is said that when it ends, it begins again.

 

[oponopono]

When three lines are moving, I often concentrate on the middle line, which in this case is 28.4. This line says that the ridge pole is braced, and that in doing more than that we can run into additional trouble. That is, you can put certain boundaries into place, but don't do anything excessive.

I agree with you. This week I began relating to 28 as a warning I could be putting to much weight on a situation that does not deserve so much of my attention. After writing my post I went out of the city for some nature time with friends and, to be honest, I did not think about this man or this issue again. For all these days it was just gone of my system. Now I'm back and the thoughts returned. I read my post again and I still feel the lines in 28 are very mysterious to me (and perhaps it is due to the cultural gap that sooo also mentions) but I return to the feeling I had to begin with, that 28 is an inherently flawed situation, an idea that has no legs to walk, a feeling that is not sustained by anything concrete, etc.

I want to say that I've had the same reaction as you when it comes to 28.2.

Thanks for telling me that

and thanks sooo for your wise insights

yo.
:bows:

 

[oponopono]

When three lines are moving, I often concentrate on the middle line, which in this case is 28.4. This line says that the ridge pole is braced, and that in doing more than that we can run into additional trouble. That is, you can put certain boundaries into place, but don't do anything excessive.

I agree with you. This week I began relating to 28 as a warning I could be putting to much weight on a situation that does not deserve so much of my attention. After writing my post I went out of the city for some nature time with friends and, to be honest, I did not think about this man or this issue again. For all these days it was just gone of my system. Now I'm back and the thoughts returned. I read my post again and I still feel the lines in 28 are very mysterious to me (and perhaps it is due to the cultural gap that sooo also mentions) but I return to the feeling I had to begin with, that 28 is an inherently flawed situation, an idea that has no legs to walk, a feeling that is not sustained by anything concrete, etc.

I want to say that I've had the same reaction as you when it comes to 28.2.

Thanks for telling me that

and thanks sooo for your wise insights

yo.
:bows: