32.2 > 62 what to do and how to proceed

[Lola1986]

Hi all,

Have started dating someone who I think is more into me than I am into them. I like them, I'd be up for sleeping with them (is this a casual thing) and I think we could both learn a lot in a good positive way through and from each other but I don't want to lead them on. I have mentioned not my uncertainty to them in particular but to dating at the moment, and also they have said they wanted to take it slow but yeh, am concerned because I can feel that maybe they are quite into me. And I'm loving that and I think they're great, I just am also not so sure and am scared of messing someone around emotionally.

So i asked first:
Please advise about x
52.3 - 23
it's confusing - does this refer to not stilling the physical desire, or what? Stripping away as in??

Should I speak to x about how I'm feeling (which is ambivalent)?
32.2 > 62

Seems to suggest that yes it's good to mention it? No regrets?? But the ending 62 - huh?

What's tricky for me is I've had a series of unrequited loves for other people, and it's made me suspicious of my sort of attachment style (like maybe I'm just into unavailable people) and I sort of think I should go with what the universe provides/suggests. And lo, this person came along and asked me out and is lovely and is into me but I'm not feeling it, partly because they are a different gender from my usual dating pattern but also maybe it's just them, who knows. They know this is new to me! So I really don't know what to do at all.

Thanks for any advice on the readings

 

[isacosmo]

Both casts , generally speaking, says: keep centered, keep a low profile. Maybe because you are not into them very much, and you still say you'd "be up to sleeping with them". For some ppl, sexual relations Still mean a lot, mean their vital energy being offered away. So I think the Yi is telling you to go slow with them, to keep your head in place.

 

[Lola1986]

Both casts , generally speaking, says: keep centered, keep a low profile. Maybe because you are not into them very much, and you still say you'd "be up to sleeping with them". For some ppl, sexual relations Still mean a lot, mean their vital energy being offered away. So I think the Yi is telling you to go slow with them, to keep your head in place.

Ok, thanks. But I mean should I speak to them about my ambivalence? I know that, I have been in that position before and I don't want to mess this person around. I am going quite slowly, have made sure our last 2 dates have been in the day time etc... We did already sleep together once, and we both decided to keep it slow after that so we have had that discussion and I have been good about that. I am in a place of being quite confused about relationships and sexuality altogether so I am trying to do my best without hurting anyone!

 

[isacosmo]

Ok, thanks. But I mean should I speak to them about my ambivalence? I know that, I have been in that position before and I don't want to mess this person around. I am going quite slowly, have made sure our last 2 dates have been in the day time etc... We did already sleep together once, and we both decided to keep it slow after that so we have had that discussion and I have been good about that. I am in a place of being quite confused about relationships and sexuality altogether so I am trying to do my best without hurting anyone!

32.2 says 'hold on, no regrets'. So I guess it says "don't". You mentioned you both are in accordance in going slow. Like not even thinking of commiting, right? So I do not understand why would you need telling them you are not sure? "Lets do it slowly, without anxieties" is a nice way to communicate you are not in love.
Yet.

 

[Trojina]

32.2 says 'regrets vanish'. I don't think one can take that as 'don't'.

 

[Trojina]

Seems to suggest that yes it's good to mention it? No regrets?? But the ending 62 - huh?

This is one of the biggest errors in Yi interpretation ever. That is the idea that the relating hexagram is 'the ending'. That makes most readings make no sense at all.

You will find the 62 within the answer, it's part of the answer, the context, it's embedded in it. It is not 'the future' nor is it 'the ending' though it is broad enough to include aspects of the future.

I suggest you totally ditch the idea of the relating hexagram as 'the ending', it just doesn't make any sense and your reading experiences will gain so much more clarity once you drop that erroneous idea.

In wikiwing Hilary includes a section suggesting how the relating hexagram connects to the line

32 zhi Hexagram 62, Small Overstepping. A time when you must pay such great attention to your immediate surroundings you don't have time for regrets. An enduring pattern of small overstepping - a habit of responding, adapting, paying attention to detail.

So you can see that in effect the 62 part of 32 is taking great care, being very balanced and cautious. So the very quality of 62 is right there in 32.2. It is not that 32.2 happens and then 62 happens.

 

[Trojina]

So i asked first:
Please advise about x
52.3 - 23
it's confusing - does this refer to not stilling the physical desire, or what? Stripping away as in??

We need to see what the line says -

'Keeping your waist still,
Dividing your back,
Danger smothers the heart.'

It's just saying it's harmful to a person to be in 2 minds, trying to disassociate their heart from their loins. It's a situation where one longs to express something but is restraining oneself. The advice is it's bad for you to do that. Can you be at one, allow your head and your heart both the room to feel and think what they need to. Don't be too self repressive. It can just be a statement of how it is rather than advice.

I think it is best to talk to this person but not feel pressured in anyway.

32.2 is good for being balanced and cautious. You are being that as you are concerned about messing with his emotions, you don't want to get in too deep and hurt him etc. Yi seems to be saying this is good of you to be balanced in this way. This line is the very opposite of being careless.

I disagree with isacosmo, I don't think these readings suggest you should hold back. You are already holding back too much says 52.3.

 

[Lola1986]

We need to see what the line says -

'Keeping your waist still,
Dividing your back,
Danger smothers the heart.'

It's just saying it's harmful to a person to be in 2 minds, trying to disassociate their heart from their loins. It's a situation where one longs to express something but is restraining oneself. The advice is it's bad for you to do that. Can you be at one, allow your head and your heart both the room to feel and think what they need to. Don't be too self repressive. It can just be a statement of how it is rather than advice.

I think it is best to talk to this person but not feel pressured in anyway.

32.2 is good for being balanced and cautious. You are being that as you are concerned about messing with his emotions, you don't want to get in too deep and hurt him etc. Yi seems to be saying this is good of you to be balanced in this way. This line is the very opposite of being careless.

I disagree with isacosmo, I don't think these readings suggest you should hold back. You are already holding back too much says 52.3.

Yes, I agree. I understand about not seeing 62 as the 'end' but as part of it, an element within the reading. I think I do struggle with the fact that sometimes Yi is just describing how things are, not necessarily pointing a direction to go on, so I end up looking for that because I am somehow looking for instruction, but actually I guess the point is that it's description and then it's up to me to make up my mind, not for the Yi to tell me what to do.

Anyway, I will try to speak my mind and my heart next time I see her, it is quite a confusing thing for me and I got into a right state about it yesterday but a long cycle and a swim in the sea helped balance me and now I feel less worried and more like it's ok, I can handle this if I handle it with care. Why are relationships and romance so difficult?! Good god.

 

[Lola1986]

Hi all,

@Trojina and @isacosmo - just to leave some feedback. So i did in the end, rather unplanned, end up speaking about my thoughts and fears, so not quite ambivalent feelings but more all my fears around queer relationships etc... etc... and it was good. I was honest, she was receptive and supportive and not pressurey and it went well in that I didn't feel less close but more close after, although also exhausted because it was a lot. It also helped me realise that for me if I have strong feelings one way or another they will come out, so might as well do it in a somewhat more controlled way even though it did work out ok in the end.

So in hindsight a reasonably accurate 52.3 and 32.2 I'd say
Thanks for the help interpreting. No doubt there will be many more on this journey!