34.5.6>1 what to do (or not do)?

[psychonaut613]

There's a woman who I've known for a few years and we've never been close, but always there for each other and she contacted me recently out of a crappy relationship and we started talking alot and spending time together, we've been intimate. Towards the beginning of this she had told me she wasn't ready for a relationship (this was weeks ago at this point) but wanted to hang out and I realize it's best in these situations to be more casual and patient and unattached to outcome, give space, it takes as long as it takes, but then at some point, she gave me a good reason she couldn't see me.

I thought she was pulling away so I told her if she wasn't ready, I would give her space to become ready because I am ready and hopefully when she's ready I will be available. Her response was that she actually loved being around me and didn't mean to make me feel she was leaving, but she is a healthcare worker and can't be around people with the virus scare(which was the reason she gave above, I didn't fully realize how bad it was), she didn't directly say anything about not being ready at this point but that she would be alone and do her own things for a while in the meantime. I am willing to give her plenty of space and take things very slow if needed. Idk if it is warranted to back off completely for a time, but this is also a person who needs assurance sometimes and so do I and we tend to give each other that as long as we've known each other. I adore this woman.

I've learned alot about mistakes I've made in past relationships, but I also ended up alone for quite a long time because I wouldn't settle for a bad one anymore, but the result of this being alone is that I get very discouraged at times and I asked

What will happen? 34.5.6 > 1

Idk if it is just me, but being at the beginning of a thing and suddenly not being able to see them for weeks when you're not even sure they really like you? I find it frustrating

 

[becalm]

How long were you on your own before this situation started?
The reading suggests to let go of your frustration and accept that this is the circumstances between you at this time.

 

[rosada]

34. calls for patience. It is the hexagram between 33. Retreat as in stepping back from relationships and 35. Progress as in moving forward and trusting relationships, and therefore describes a time where a person is just kinda stabilizing, getting their bearings before moving ahead. So "lose the goat with ease", if you can let go of fears, demands and expectations and maintain inner harmony, things will eventually untangle and your friendship will be going forward again.

 

[psychonaut613]

One version of I ching translation talks of a goat entangled in a fence. I'm wondering now if my assertion that I was ready for something and would give her space read like an ultimatum to her rather than patience I was going for.. and maybe this created the entanglement?

 

[rosada]

Like you're saying you would give her space might have come across as if you were saying you wont contact her for the moment but that you weren't going away, you're waiting right around the corner ready to pounce?

Hmm..I don't think so given that your question was about what will happen. You weren't asking how she sees you.

Anyway, maybe it means you've gotten sort of tangled up with this woman with no real shared vision of what this "relationship" is or where you two intend to go with it. Perhaps you are being advised to not put your life on hold for her. That doesn't mean you wont eventually reconnect but simply that while you are apart don't just sit waiting. Talk to people! Have adventures! Learn something interesting! Ultimately this is all going to lead to 1.Creative new beginnings!

 

[psychonaut613]

I have an update and another question. So eventually she contacted me and wanted me to come over and watch a movie with her. Then changed her mind, then a few days later told me she had changed her mind because she was seeing someone else. When she initially contacted me a couple months ago, she had told me she always liked me and some other very specific stuff like she wished we got together sooner and remembering things from the day we met. And although she also told me she was seeing others at the time, I still feel very confused. She made me feel she really liked me. On the one hand I may not even want someone who can treat a person like this in my life, on the other hand I don't know everything about what went on or how she was feeling...

I see from her social media posts, looks very much like this person she is with now is toying with her emotions alot, so maybe it won't last long?

Meantime I will be doing my own thing, I've stopped all contact with her for awhile, mainly to separate from her so I can be ok, whatever happens

And I asked what happens now(between us) and got 27.5.6>3 I'm curious why I'm getting 5 and 6 changing lines again. Also, cross the great water but don't cross the great water

 

[becalm]

I see from her social media posts, looks very much like this person she is with now is toying with her emotions alot, so maybe it won't last long?

Sounds like a reflection of what she's doing to you.....

 

[psychonaut613]

Are you saying kind of like karma?

Interesting, something prompted me to consider it, so I asked, what does she really need and got 49.1.6>33
My first thought on the meaning is I need to retreat and let her finish her metamorphosis

 

[psychonaut613]

One more question. I asked how does she really feel about me? And I realize IC may not directly answer a question like that, but I asked it anyway because I believe the answer may still provide insight. 44.2>33

 

[psychonaut613]

I couldn't help myself. I felt so sad and disappointed about giving up on this person, which I guess I may have to do.. I just really like and adore her, huge spark feeling beginnings of love and all that so I asked is there no hope here? As I was casting one of the coins bounced off my thumb and my first thought was that interfered with the reading and I'll start over but as I continued I then thought maybe bouncing off my thumb was part of the random and synchronicity of the reading, so being undecided, I just decided to finish casting and see what each hexagram was and what they say, so I ended with 16.4>2 and 39 unchanged, it all seems to be variation on the same theme? almost as if my initial 34.5.6>1 the conditions involved haven't changed as of yet?

 

[becalm]

Are you saying kind of like karma?

Interesting, something prompted me to consider it, so I asked, what does she really need and got 49.1.6>33
My first thought on the meaning is I need to retreat and let her finish her metamorphosis

I don't know about Karma but quite often people are brought into our lives that reflect back to us our own 'issues'.
Better question would be what do YOU really need?

 

[psychonaut613]

I don't know about Karma but quite often people are brought into our lives that reflect back to us our own 'issues'.

Well, that's kind of one of the definitions of karma

 

[Greenleaf]

Hi,

I think it’s best to ask 1 question, the more questions you ask especially when you are emotional and attached to the desired outcome (unable to see clearly) the more unclear the answers become.
The answer to your first question provides a very good picture of your situation:

hex 34, line 6


“Legge: The sixth line, magnetic, shows one who may be compared to the ram butting against the fence, and unable either to retreat, or to advance as he would fain do. There will be no advantage in any respect, but if he realizes the difficulty of his position, there will be good fortune. “


that it changes to hexagram 1 indicates that there is a chance for you for freedom, progress and success if you extricate yourself from this situation.

other questions you asked about what this woman feels for you, what will happen etc. I would suggest you ask yourself - why are you letting yourself be treated like this? Are you enjoying being lied to and humiliated? Is this the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with (not that it’s even possible)? Do you enjoy suffering?
from everything you said here, even without resorting to I Ching, isn’t it painfully obvious to you that this woman uses you? At first I thought maybe she’s playing hard to get so that you get jealous and want her more, but the more you described her actions, the more obvious it became that she couldn’t care less. Another thing that is obvious from both your questions and what you know about this person - is that you don’t really know her, and wouldn’t the opposite be true if you had an intimate relationship that you claim you have with her?
“Lose the ram” (Line 5 of 34) as I Ching advises you - it has two meanings, as you often get with I Ching - this woman can lose you easily without regret. You should lose her easily too. Lose her number. You have much better prospects ahead and deserve much better.

On the other hand, since you insist on waiting on her, and you yourself asked the question about karma. I just remembered one guy who insisted on loving this one woman, seeing the best in her, while everyone else knew she was only after money and was very promiscuous. He on the other hand wanted a loving faithful relationship. Even when she was sleeping around with other men, his intuition was telling him the truth, and other people were telling him the truth about her, but he insisted on seeing her as this pure angel and wanted to marry her. So looking at his stubbornness- people felt maybe he deserved what he got, maybe that’s what he really wanted. They broke up eventually of course.

 

[psychonaut613]

Unfortunately I already asked more questions..
In the end I would like to learn from this if nothing works out if there's anything I can do better in the future. This is where the IC comes in, I don't have a full grasp of the meanings but later when things pan out, I can look at the reading and it always helps me see things I didn't before and what I learned from this.

I only wanted this thing to happen if things actually change, things go back to where they were in the beginning of this, but if they don't, I don't actually want more of the same, just keep feeling there must be a reason someone I've known for a while out of the blue contacted me saying she always liked me and such and talked about things and memories between us you can't just fake and things were happy and well for a little while, then drifts off and disappears basically..
For the last week or so I have asked from time to time to see if there's something new in the situation or a better course of action for the day and got a 5 unchanging yesterday and today got a 31 unchanging which seems contrary so I asked IC to clarify and got 23.1.2.4>38 second 38 a week ago I got a 38>50. I have known 23 to be like peeling layers in my experience

Haha well I'll try not to ask any more and just let things happen the way they will and we'll see. I'll update you all, there's a shortage of threads here where people post the actual outcome so we can all learn from the cast

 

[psychonaut613]

Sort of an update, as of my last update I had decided to ask her why she would say all that about she always liked me and thought I was a great guy and made me think she really liked me and when it all came wasn't really interested? I asked what will be the outcome of me asking before doing so and got 31.1.3.4>3. A day or two later she gave the answer that yes she did like me as a person and felt certain things but not enough for a relationship, which is still confusing and unclear (who sleeps with someone they only want to be friends with without having even the slightest inkling they could be more?)

I thought about telling her basically good bye and good luck that I don't want to be just friends with her at this point and asked the outcome of that and got 30 unchanging. I decided against that option and just asked what happens now? and got 26.3.4.6>54

I realize I probably ask maybe too much questions haha but yet I learn from the IC and maybe the outcomes will help others too on here.

It's been a couple weeks since I have spoken with her at all; at this point I'm not even sure how to be friends with someone like this. It's one thing to simply not have the same feelings, and it's another to lead a person on to this level. Add to that what looks like a month of stringing me along before letting me know there's someone else..

 

[psychonaut613]

Well, looking back at these previous posts, I see I have learnt and grown as a person.. still. I had deleted her from social media, as really in the end we had no real friendship or basis in anything. And, I haven't talked to her in almost a year, it was easy since she stopped bread crumbing me right after definitively telling me she was seeing someone else. Someone who only actually spent time with me in between relationships and then used me as a rebound? not much a friend. however, I had a dream the other night about her and I believe dreams can have meanings as I have had dreams that actually came to life in the real, yet this was a dream where I woke up a few times and fell asleep, continuing the dream, so I had to ask about it and 38.1>64. Really, pretty sure I got the horse comes back of it's own accord before with her so why now? Truth is I've got the horse ran away line with many people over time, never had a single one come back, I mean they've come back, but it never amounted to anything, not even a rekindle of friendship. Idk what my dreams or IC are saying, kinda wish they'd let this sleeping dog lay