34 twice about nosediving relationship

[poised]

I've been posting here for six months about this relationship and you have helped me more than you can imagine. :bows:

I think we finally managed to get over each other. Six months of backing and forthing about this relationship seem to have culminated in both of us being ready to say, "It's over," and mean it. In total, 22 months together: 10 months of roses, 12 months of ever-sharper thorns.

We've spent less and less time together, winding down to not even speaking for the last several days. I'm sad about it but not sad enough to try to make it work. Lots of loose ends, but they can just sit there for awhile.

I asked this morning, What does he want? 34.6 > 14
That goat stuck in the hedge, not being to move in any direction. I hope he can figure it out.

And then I asked, What is my best course? 34.1.5 > 28

Line 1, power in the toes, a strong impetus to take action, but it would be a terrible mistake. I could (figuratively) stamp my foot and make demands, I suppose, but do not wish to do so. No compulsion to make things right any more.

Line 5. This line is a little more difficult to understand, as various experts have different opinions. For example, "Loses the goat with ease, no remorse," sounds very much like my interpretation of line 1. Wing, however, has a different view: "You should now let go of an opinionated or stubborn attitude. It is no longer necessary to prove anything. The situation will progress with ease; therefore you do not need to use excessive force." Maybe it's not so different if the "situation will progress with ease" means that we will easily stay separated in the world and in our hearts.

I've been working hard to dig my own heart out of these brambles for months. Went to my daughter's country place last weekend, consulted with (the ancestors) my long-dead great grandmother, had a long communion with the full moon.....came home feeling strong and clear.

Anyway, if you see other possibilities or can make sense of the changing hexagrams, 14 and 28, I'd appreciate any light you can cast on this reading. :bows:

 

[meng]

Your reading is still sitting unaddressed. I read it earlier, but didn't know what to say. Now a couple thoughts arise. The first are your own words: "I've been working hard to dig my own heart out of these brambles for months." The second is a question: What brambles? Why would a goat butt against brambles anyway? You have great possessions, you don't need brambles. Maybe when you are free of him, he can show interest in you. Weird but sometimes true.

 

[Lavalamp]

What does he want? (assumptively from you) 34.6
He wants to find a new, better, more careful way of dealing with your relationship, because the way things have been or he has been dealing with it does not work.

> 14
He thinks you are really something.

What is my best course?
34.1
Patience, not a flight or flight response. Trying to always fix things or push for anything definitive is probably an expression of your insecurities. Be confident that things can work out for the best without you always having to make things happen.

34.5
You will get over losing your stubbornness - it's easy if you try.

> 28
There is a lot of pressure on this relationship, "the weight of the great is excessive."

Overall this reads as 34 "The Taming Power Of The Great" > 28 "The Preponderance of the Great." So maybe overall the message is something like "Take a load off Annie, you put the load right on me..."

-LL

 

[poised]

Free freer freest

Your reading is still sitting unaddressed. I read it earlier, but didn't know what to say. Now a couple thoughts arise. The first are your own words: "I've been working hard to dig my own heart out of these brambles for months." The second is a question: What brambles? Why would a goat butt against brambles anyway? You have great possessions, you don't need brambles. Maybe when you are free of him, he can show interest in you. Weird but sometimes true.

Thanks meng.You always cut to the chase for me :bows:...

Left unattended, my mind knits up brambles, sticky wickets and conundrums. I ought to be writing mysteries with intricate plots.

Actually, I told him last week that he was free to move on.

Nothing changes. On we go with the dance ... to the end of love? Or the end of the pier, whichever comes first. He's taking me to catch trout when it cools down tonight.

Remind me, please, to stop asking questions about this relationship. Questioning creates brambles. In the words of some great guru, "What is is and what ain't ain't.

 

[meng]

I ought to be writing mysteries with intricate plots.

That seems like a productive use of force . Just look at all the material you've gained from the experience to write from. A great possession!

 

[poised]

Great greater greatest

What does he want? (assumptively from you) 34.6
He wants to find a new, better, more careful way of dealing with your relationship, because the way things have been or he has been dealing with it does not work.
> 14 He thinks you are really something.

Interesting take on him, LL. He's a pragmatist and I tend to be a "possibility thinker." Translates to different concepts of time....I hope the "really something," is not "really impossible."

my best course?
34.1 Patience, not a flight or flight response. Trying to always fix things or push for anything definitive is probably an expression of your insecurities. Be confident

What a concept. And perhaps more trusting.

You will get over losing your stubbornness - it's easy if you try.

> 28 There is a lot of pressure on this relationship, "the weight of the great is excessive."

Overall this reads as 34 "The Taming Power Of The Great" > 28 "The Preponderance of the Great." So maybe overall the message is something like "Take a load off Annie, you put the load right on me..."

-LL

Spot on with the "great " thingy. Does that mean I don't have to be great? Mumsy is rolling in her urn.

Gee, backing down from greatness would solve about 2339% of problems in this relationship. How great is that?

 

[meng]

Gee, backing down from greatness would solve about 2339% of problems in this relationship. How great is that?

Roughly 8%.

 

[poised]

Math?

Yes but. The nosedive countdown continues. We're about 1% short of splat.

When it ends, I will be "overcome with relief," as they say. I forget who said it...maybe in "Jules and Jim"?

 

[Lavalamp]

If you want it to splat it will. If you want to salvage the relationship, ask the Yi how to do that. The real question here is what do you want? You have to decide.

 

[meng]

Oh. I was looking at 2339% of 10,000% things.

 

[poised]

New delusions?

If you want it to splat it will. If you want to salvage the relationship, ask the Yi how to do that. The real question here is what do you want? You have to decide.

Thanks LL. I'm not really sure I want to salvage it, but went ahead and asked Yi how to do that if I decide to try.

16.6 > 35

Just spent an hour browsing here and elsewhere for a description of 16.6 that fits, found Wing:

The person in this position is lost in the memory of a compelling and harmonious experience. The time is past, and what is left is empty egotism. Fortunately, reform is possible. There is an opportunity to move on to a situation of new growth.

Yes, this relationship was once so lovely, but that part is over. I do not delude myself about reviving it. I'm not exactly sure about the "new growth" situation, however.

HE is totally burned out from a difficult counseling job, got laid off a few weeks ago, hoped to stay on unemployment for awhile but has already been offered two similar jobs and probably has to go back to work next week. A disaster for him, he's retreated to his man cave and doesn't want to come out. I understand.

I had a 60-80 hour week high stress job and quit, retreated to a healing center where my main activity was watching buds grow on a branch that crossed my window. After five weeks, the owner/healer did a sweat lodge with me, I came out and heard, to my amazement, a million crickets in the night. I'd been so stressed, I'd heard nothing but the inside of my own mind before the ceremony.

So he's still not hearing crickets, and I'm perhaps once again hearing nothing but the inside of my own mind. Whirring with delusional possibilities?

The situation of new growth? Could be a new relationship for me? For him? Nah, not going to happen. I don't think.

35 is perhaps promising, an advance from 34 where I started this line of questioning. You think?

 

[poised]

Oh, THOSE 10,000 things.

Oh. I was looking at 2339% of 10,000% things.

Thought for a minute you had a window into my thought process, meng. Don't overlook the warning sign at the entrance,

"Beware, Out-ofControl Squirrels Ahead"​

"Possibility thinking" can drive a girl crazy, it can.