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35.1>21 - what is the reason

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oceangirl

Guest
This is the short version of a long story.

They were a romantic couple of short term. There was a car accident which looks like she deliberately ran them into a tree. She was the driver, he was the front seat passenger and there were 3 young children in the back seat.
It was such a bad crash that it's a wonder anyone survived. He managed to climb out of the car and rescue everybody else. The children have no lasting injuries, he has a damaged vertebrae which if operated on could kill him or disable him for the rest if his life, she has some minor brain damage.
She can't claim compensation because she was the driver who caused the accident. He can and is trying to claim compensation as he can no longer do the work he was trained to do and was earning a high wage.
There has been a lot of angst and backlash surrounding this accident by his friends and others in the community. There was also a lot of trouble from others about their relationship before their accident because a lot of his friends didn't like her.

He and she have broken up but I'm not sure why. I met him some 18 months after the accident occurred but he seems to be resistant in starting a relationship despite showing very strong signs, at least initially that he'd like to. We had a couple of beautiful moments together and then he just backed out like he was scared.

What is the reason he is no longer in a relationship with her

35.1>21

This answer doesn't look like the answer to my question, rather more the answer to why he backed out of starting a relationship with me.

Line 1 - we were progressing and then it stopped. I've a strong feeling he didn't trust me. He said he'd never met anyone as kind as me in his life and he kept asking me why I'm so lovely and kind to others....I'd no idea what to say to that really except to say why be mean. When he decided to back out of the idea of us he kept trying to find something to blame me for why it wouldn't work.
Hex 21 - Yes I'd love to get to the truth of it all, that would help me move forward.
 
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That's a very heavy trauma to be carrying. If you were going to be staying in the area, it would be easier to develop a relationship. With all the disruptions in his life - and confusion -- could it be that moving away with you feels like another disruption? So he feels very torn?
He is drawn to your kindness. He wishes that he could progress forward with you. But he is hesitant, naturally so, to make such a big move considering all he has been through these last couple of years.
Not quite sure what to say about the reading though.
I get the feeling that the relationship needs time and a gentle expectations -- rather than forcing and rushing things.
 
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oceangirl

Guest
Thanks for responding....yes I can imagine it wouldn't be an easy decision for him at all. Such a traumatic event to happen and to me 18 months isn't very long to get over such a thing. I'm in no hurry but would love the chance to get to know each other without the pressure of it having to 'be' romantic first and foremost. I'm planning to leave it for a month or thereabouts before contacting him again and by that time I'll be thousands of miles away from him but that may be a good thing at this point in time.
 
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diamanda

Guest
What is the reason he is no longer in a relationship with her 35.1 > 21

Actually to me it sounds that it answers your question, and the answer is because of the accident.
35.1 says "advance thus, destroy thus" and "deceive trust" (Gregory Richter translation).
It's not simply a matter of "turned back" as Wilhelm puts it - the character means destroy/break/devastate.
With the added information that trust (between them) failed.
Their relationship (or even maybe their car) was advancing and then destruction followed.
Also, "abundance, no blame" (perhaps the fact that he's seeking compensation) and 21 anger, justice.

I believe he's honest in what he told you about all this. I agree that 18 months isn't long at all to get over something so traumatic. Perhaps he has developed a phobia of starting something new and then it gets traumatically broken. I hope he does keep the lines of communication open with you!
 
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oceangirl

Guest
Thankyou diamanda....I've no doubt either that he's been honest
about everything The internet news reports and fscebook have confirmed all that he said, not that I doubted him, he's a very dte man.
 
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oceangirl

Guest
Nothing's changed here at all so I asked if this connection was well at truly over - I received
Hex 20 unchanging

Could be well look at the bigger picture - what do you think is going on oceangirl?
or
I'm not seeing something

So I asked what am I NOT seeing about this situation

Hex 14.1.3.6>20

In terms of line 1 - no interaction with what is harmful - I'd have to agree with that. Even though I would like to be 'involved' with him per se I don't wish to be involved with the residual of the aftermath of this relationship or accident. I'd be happy to support him emotionally etc. but I wouldn't like to be part of or in the firing line of the angst he's experiencing.
I wonder if he's trying to protect me from this situation he's in or if he feels if he takes up with a new woman he suffer more angst from others or it may affect the outcome of the courtcase.

Line 3 - Again I'd be happy to support him with his present traumas and be someone he can lean on but he appears to not even want that from me.

Line 6 - I believe I've acted with dignity and humility in this situation as has he although I would've like him to talk to me about what was/is going on for him in terms of our connection instead of just ignoring me.
 

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